Shin Hyesung.

Standing meters away from me.

Or maybe not.

My brain functioned in a very weird way. Because now I thought I saw Hyesung was standing on the stone paving path just meters away from me. He was wearing black hoodie jacket and jeans with black cap on his head. Which was impossible. My sight must have been deceived me. And some horror crept in my mind and made me shiver.

My brain fooled me, I tried to convince myself while I kept staring at the figure. He was also staring back at me with the same shocked expression. With the dark forest as the background. Was it a ghost?

Maybe it was the mountain spirit that occupied this place? I’ve never been afraid of ghost before, but right now that mountain spirit looked so real and scarily similar to Hyesung. Well, not really similar because unlike Hyesung, that mountain spirit had moustache and dark circle under his eyes. He looked straight at me and I couldn’t move because of that. Would it eat me?

I thought I ever read somewhere that some evil spirit on mountain or forest would temp desperate people to kill themselves. Was I desperate enough to kill myself? Well, maybe. Perhaps that mountain spirit could sense my sadness and desperation, so it transformed into Hyesung. Then that mountain spirit would come to me and seduce me before killed me and ate my soul. Should I surrender to it? My life was unbearable anyway.

But, hell no! I wouldn’t let it ate my soul! Because my heart and my soul were belong to Hyesung. I wouldn’t let any nasty creature touch or eat it. Even though that nasty creature had Hyesung’s appearance. Hell, I despised it even more because he took Hyesung’s appearance! And somehow that thought brought me some strength.

I was still afraid I felt the urge to pee. But if I had to, I would fight tooth and nail with that mountain spirit.

That mountain spirit walked slowly towards me with deep frown on his face. I fisted my hands inside my pockets from my nervousness. He looked upset. I thought I needed some plan B. Just in case I couldn’t fight him, I would run as fast as I can to the resort. My heart sunk when I remembered the long distance between this place and my room, but that was the only plan that my frightened brain could come. . . . I had no breakfast this morning I had no energy to run.

“Were you following me?” The mountain spirit asked.

“Eh?”

“Why you here?” The mountain spirit’s voice was scarily similar to Hyesung’s too.

“You’re real.” I mumbled dumbly. “Is it really you?”

If he wasn’t the mountain spirit – and I prayed earnestly that he wasn’t – then I must be gone crazy. I must have been lost my sanity so I started to see things that weren’t real. I knew I told you I saw Hyesung everywhere, but now I was afraid I began to hallucinate of him talking to me. Finally, now I was officially gone crazy.

“Are you crazy? Of course it’s me!” He snapped.

It was really Hyesung!

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed before covered my mouth with both of my hand. He looked offended.

. . . After he left, I really wanted to meet him. But now he was here in front of me, I was lost of what to do or what to say. He looked at me disgustingly while I was busy blinking and processing this absurd situation. These past days I tried to look for him without success, but now out of nowhere I found him in the middle of forest when I never expected it.

“Were you following me?” He asked again before sat up at the other end of the bench.

“I don’t even know you’re here.” I answered bluntly.

For my surprise, he smiled a bit. “It is a mystery – how you never knew how to find me but always found me anyway.” He said with his vague smile stay on. How I missed his smile.

“You – “ I forgot what I wanted to say the moment he I saw he smiled.

“This place has changed so much since the last time we’re here.” He sighed when he looked at the distance trees.

“Moustache?” I didn’t know why said that. I swear!

He chuckled amusingly then turned to me. “That’s the question you want to ask me? About my moustache?” He asked in disbelief.

“Well, it looks funny on you but in a good way. No – funny is not the right word. Cute – you’re cute. But I guess you will look good even with your nose hair sticking out.” I blabbered like a lunatic. This was not how I imagined or planned about our meeting. Now I wanted to kill myself for saying those idiotic words when I was supposed to make him come back to me.

“You’re really stupid, you know that?” He laughed.

“I know.”

“Just tell me.” He said softly when his laughter abated.

“I missed you so much.” Finally I said those words.

He smiled then placed his hand over my hand.

***

“We’re so sick. We’re so sick.” Hyesung murmured those words endlessly since we entered his room. (Villa number three. Ha! So the person who occupied this room was him. Why I never thought about it before?)

But unlike his words, his other body parts were doing exactly the opposite. His lips kissed me ravenously and his hands were busy undressing me. How we ended up like this was like a dream. A moment ago we were talking awkwardly at the forest, but a moment after, we were running our asses off to his room so we could have some privacy. Maybe later when my mind was a bit clearer, I could recall what was happening back there.

“We’re so sick. Oh my God, we’re so freaking sick!” Hyesung said rather hysterically when I got my fingers on his waist and dragged him to his bed. Leaving our scattered clothes behind on the floor with no concern at all.

“Oh, shut up!” I pushed him to lie on the bed with me.

He covered his face with his hands and mumbled something. Something that was similar to “We’re so sick.” Nothing’s new.

“If you’re not shut up, I’ll stop.” I said rather impatient when I was busy taking off my socks. I didn’t like it to have with my socks on.

He shut his mouth immediately and that cute respond made me grinned happily. I kissed him again and this time without him chanting those annoying sentence. He had his point right though, we must have been sick to do this. We were mentally sick, maybe. But oh, if only kissing him didn’t feel this good. If only the feeling of his skin under me didn’t arouse me. The hell with right mind, I would choose to be a sicko any time.

I took a chance to look at him and smiled. It was really him. It was really Hyesung’s body in my embrace. It was his lips I kissed. It was his eyes staring back at me. It was his hands touching my waist. And I had it once again. I thought I already lost him. But I had him once again.

“I missed you so damn much.” Hyesung murmured.

We did it ardently and ravenously. We moved in haste and rather bumpily – I thought we wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. But no, we did enjoy it just alright. He shut his eyes and gripped tightly on my shoulders when we reached it. I looked up at him with my hazy eyes so I could capture the sight of him above me relishing his bliss. Eventually, he detached us and swiftly lied down beside me while I was trying to catch my breath.

“That was – “ He tried to find the right adjective.

“Sick.” I added without thinking. He chuckled then shifted closer. I hugged him just immediately. How familiar the feeling was. To have him pressed skin to skin to me at our aftermath.

“Eric?” He mumbled after a long silence.

“Hmm?”
 

“If I take it all back – the break up words, I mean – could we start again?” He whispered slowly.

“Are you kidding? I thought we already started again. If I remembered it correctly, we just have Babe.” I closed my eyes and grinned when he slapped my chest lightly.

“Now tell me. Who told you that I’m here?”

“Nobody. Hell, I don’t even know that you’re here.” I his messy hair. “Jinnie didn’t know that you’re here, so who’s in the world could possibly tell me your whereabouts?”

“My father.” He said matter-of-factly.

“And you think he would tell me if I asked him?” Yeah, right.

“He knew that you parked your car outside our house every night. He watched you from the window.”

“He knew? So it means you saw me too?” I turned to him to see him nodded. “And you never came out even once?”

“I was afraid I could get weak if I see you.” He pouted.

“That’s why you ran away when you saw me that day?” I couldn’t help but hissed.

“I’m sorry.” He quickly grabbed my arms as if he was afraid that I would suddenly get up and leave him. When I didn’t move – and I never intended to – he relaxed his hands. We stayed in awkward silence after that.

“I better take a bath.” He mumbled after some minutes of silence. He let go of his hands on my arms and sat up.

“This time, you can’t change your mind, Hyesung-ah.” I said. He turned to see me and nodded. “This time, no giving up or saying that this is too hard to take. This time, let’s make it work out. And this time, please don’t quit.”

He hurriedly leaned down on me and kissed me with no hesitation. It was like he butted our lips together. But then he kissed me slowly. A kiss that was so gentle and deep and true – I knew I get my answer.

***

“You shaved?” I asked when he got out from the bathroom. His face now was clean and fresh, with no moustache like before. He only pouted and cleared his throat, but refused to answer.

“It’s not bad, actually. But a bit ticklish when you kissed me. You know, it’s the first time I kissed someone with moustache.” I grinned.

“Shut up! You go take a bath!” He hissed.

“I will.” I got up right away. “Oh Hyesung-ah, don’t touch those cigarettes!” I gestured to the many packs of cigarettes on the table. “Or else – “

“Or what?”

“Oh, you don’t want to know.” I answered firmly.

When I got out the bathroom, I saw him sitting on the couch with a huge water bottle on his hand. He gulped the water slowly and then he smiled when I sat beside him. I glanced at now clean surface of the table.

“You cleaned it.” I pointed at the now empty ashtray. It was full of ashes and cigarette butts just a moment ago before I got in the bathroom. He just nodded. “Stop smoking, Hyesung-ah.”

He snorted insultingly. “You stop first.”

“You smoke too much.” Now that I think about it, this room was chokingly smelled of smoke. How much did he smoke during his stay?

“I was bored.” He fixed his hair in nervous. I rolled my eyes. Oh, please. You were not bored, you were depressed just like I was.

“Well, now I’m here. So just stop.”

“You smoke too, you know it’s not that easy to stop.”

“At least stop challenging me.”

“Okay, I’ll stop.” He gulped the water once before brought the bottle in front of my face. “Water?”

I took the bottle and drank it. “You’re getting thinner. I prefer a strong healthy boyfriend.” I stated. “Order some food. So we could get your weight back.” I eyed him pouted but weren’t protesting.

After dinner, we were conversing on the couch. Despite the fact that we just have , now the mood turned into awkward. We gracelessly sat with our backs stiffened and a brief distance between us. He clutched his fingers nervously and looked anywhere but at me. While I had the strange urge to exhale deeply in every ten seconds.  

“I thought you were a ghost.” I muttered. “Standing creepily like that on the forest.”

“I couldn’t believe my eyes too back there.” He said. “I thought I’m going crazy.”

“Why you came here?” I asked.

“Just because this place is so quiet and far from everywhere.” He sighed. “But my mind turned to the worse here.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was home, I thought that I made a right decision. That this was the best for all and I could somehow feel better again. But since I arrived to this place, I realized that I was drop dead wrong.” He finally looked at me. “And it was stupid to think that I could feel better again.”

“And?”

“And I met you at the forest.”

“If you didn’t see me at the forest, what would you do?”

“Maybe I’ll look for you. The moment I come back to Seoul, maybe I’ll drive straight to your place.”   

“Do you mean it?” Because this Shin Hyesung was a serious case of bipolar. He was unpredictably blowing hot and cold. He was thinking and deciding back and forth of options in a split second. Sometimes it was funny, but more often it was driving me crazy beyond believe.

He nodded firmly.

“But you said ‘maybe’.” I bitterly reminded him. “So there’s a slight chance that you were unsure.”

“Then let me rephrase it!” He panicky exclaimed. “I would definitely look for you.” He said while nodding exaggeratedly.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He finally smiled in relieved.

“But this time, we need a better plan, Hyesung-ah.” I stretched my hand and brushed his thigh. He smiled shyly and shoved my hand away. But I felt that the grim mood was completely behind us now.

“Of course!” He said in a more enthusiasm than necessary. I knew he did that way because he still felt guilty.

“Don’t push me away again. I’m serious, Hyesung-ah.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Now come here. You’re too far.” I reached for his hand before pulled him closer. He chuckled and just complied with me. Now we sat really close with our fingers were intertwined. He curled his lips as if he tried to restrain a smile. Whether he was too happy right now or because he couldn’t stand the stupid grin on my face – I wasn’t really sure. Could be both.

“But,” he suddenly broke the pleasant silence between us, “If you didn’t know that I was here, why you came at the first place?”

“Because today is your birthday and I just want to be alone – “ I jolted when I realized what I was saying. “Oh my God! Today is your birthday! Happy birthday Hyesung-ah!”

He chuckled before checked his watch. “Today is almost ended. But anyway, thank you.” He smiled brightly. “It’s nice to have a company on my birthday.”

“Eeii.. I’m not just your company. I’m your boyfriend.” I poked his cheek with my index finger. He immediately pouted and moved his head away. “Do you feel happier to be with your boyfriend on your birthday?”

“Shut up.”

“You don’t know how I missed the way you told me to shut up.” I grinned.

“So where’s my present?”

“I don’t bring any.” Because I never thought I would meet him here. He pouted insultingly but said nothing. “Oh, wait.” I hurriedly grab my phone and searched something. He tried to peek but I blocked his vision right away by turning my back to him.

“Here’s your present.” I handed him my phone, where I already typed something on the screen.

He took my phone with much confusion before read it.

Love is a promise;

Love is a souvenir;

Once given never forgotten;

Never let it disappear. _John Lennon_ 

“A quote?” He asked perplexed. But judging from his shaking voice, I knew he get the saying. I knew he get what I was trying to say.

“Never let it disappear, Hyesung-ah. Our love.” I smiled. “Happy birthday.”

_____________________________________

A/N

Hehehe.. I'm grinning like an idiot when I saw those upvote(s).. You're too kind.. and I'm happy because of that.. *smooch smooch*

Many of you guessed right that 'the terrifying thing' was Hyesung.. You're too smart.. (even though some guessing about giant bear, Hyesung's father, Taehak (???) and Hyesung's frozen body was interesting too ^^) But I guess, none of you guessed for a mountain spirit, right? ;p

Ah, I was in a very good mood.. so forgive my blabbering.. ^^