Sunshine woke me up very early. I opened my eyes to found myself lying on Jung Mins chest listening to his steady breathing. I could watch him sleeping like that  for ages. He was handsome, no he was beautiful. He looked like angel when he slept. It looks like his sleeping habits changed a bit also as he wasn’t so aggressive during sleep anymore. Seeing him like that formed smile on my face. if someone would tell me few months ago I will be lying in bed with a famous person I wouldn’t believe it. I extended my hand to touch his face. I trailed my fingers slowly on his skin towards lips. I was tempted in that very moment. I was tempted to let myself go at that very moment. I probably would if Jung Min’s eyes didn’t open meeting my gaze.

-          Good morning jagiya – he said with a simple smile.  – What time is it?

-          Not sure – I replied hoping I could still keep him wrapped up around me for a bit.

He looked at the clock, standing next to his bed.

-          Shoot, I need to hurry – he replied storming out of bed leaving cold empty space. I sighed. I should get used to it. Or maybe not. We still don’t know how long I will be by his side.

I swear he was gone in half an hour following s who apparently were ready.  I went slowly downstairs and made myself a coffee then checked my mail. There was one message from my boss. I clicked opened while letting caffeine into my body. Website I was woking on before…. Hmm my boss wanted me to take ownership over it. Since when I supposed to be website noona? But yeah work is work. I supposed to be a moderator… Apparently creating web for that DBSK group wasn’t enough. Problem was I didn’t do much research when I was creating the web as I used all files sent by my boss. I signed. Since they had come back stage after hiatus, similar to SS501 they need someone who will be able to take care of the web to get them “big” again. Fine…. – I mumbled to myself. Boss asked me to meet them sometime within week to discuss the subject. It meant I had a week to get to know the band. I remembered that Hyun Joong knew one of the members, or maybe that was other group. I don’t know. Whenever leader was meeting friends outside SS501 I never looked into it. I gave all members the privacy they needed. I quickly typed a message back to my boss. Surprisingly he replied back almost straight away saying I will get a pay rise for it. I smiled. It shouldn’t be that bad at the end right?

Someone softly knock on the door and I dragged myself to opened it. It was still early. As soon as I opened the door my best friend face like sunshine blinded me. She had two bags with her ready to move in. It was not like her to have only two bags. There was something fishy about it. And then I heard the sound and a van stood in front of the house. Yep, how I expected.

It took as almost whole day to unpack her stuff. When we finished it was almost midnight.

-          Are they always so late? – So Yun asked.

-          Sometimes I don’t see them at all for few days, because they come at 4am or not coming at all.  – I replied.

And then doors burst open and boys came in.

-          We knew you won’t cook so I have some food – the youngest member said, not even saying hello.

All members followed. I noticed how So Yun stolen few glances between her favourite Oppa and Hyung Jun.  What I will do now? She still liked Jung Min didn’t she.

-          Oppa can you pass me rice? – she asked Jung Min.

True was even if I would like to compete with her I couldn’t. I just let myself watching them quietly.

-          So how was your day jagiya – Min said that word again causing all boys to look at me….

-          Nothing much. I got a new task from boss – I sighed.

-          You don’t jump from happiness what is it – Kyu Jong asked rising his brow.

-          I have to be a website noona –I sighed.

-          Joey for who? – So Yun looked at me with that “you didn’t tell me anything” eyes.

-          DBSK, you know that group who was on hiatus?

Leader looked at me and smiled.

-          That’s great! – Young Saeng who was sitting quietly almost jumped from excitement.

-          What? – I asked after a while.

-          Jaejoong, one of the member is my best friend – leader explained. – hey have similar history to us, well they had a bit harder in the past I guess. Say their fandom, some fans I mean were a bit over the top…. Let me tell you something. I will invite him in so you can meet.

All eyes turned towards leader. It almost seemed like he talked about aliens. He never ever invited anyone to the old dorms at all. None of the boys did. It was their hiding place. But the leader  where still smiling and I agreed. It would be easier that way.

-          Since you are taking care of them can you not make our blog? – Hyung Jun asked.

-          You have a website already – I said shortly.

-          Yeah but it would be nice to be more personal with fans. You know if they will be informed you run it they will feel is more personal. You know how they react to our messages on twitter. I did know that. After every simple twit there was thousands messages back. Even if they would type only a heart.

-          I will see if I will have a time.

-          Joey – Jung Min asked  - I wanted to tell you as you will find out anyway…. We will be working with Makoto…

He had that worried look in his eyes. Why did he agreed to it, he hated her… I was a bit insecure about it but played it cool till the end.

-          Sure – I smiled – That long it’s ok with you.

He was shocked but didn’t say anything. Next few days were going by fast. Boys were coming home around 4 and were gone before 7. So Yun also was going to her job. How did she managed to keep secret the fact she lives with SS501? They knew about me within seconds but she was fine.

Then one day, Friday I got text message from Jung Min. He never texted me during the day as they usually had practice or recording. He asked me to visit him in studio at eight as they supposed to finish early. Something was odd about the way message was written, like it wasn’t him. I recon it was because he was just tired from all that work. I texted So Yun before I got ready and left.  I knew where the studio was and security knew me now as well. Well a lot of people did actually. One of them said to me that four members went to the dancing room and Jung Min was finishing his recording. Why they would go there if they supposed to finish early?

I headed towards the room which I was in few times during past few months. I knocked on the door but nobody responded. I walked in slowly. Behind the glass separating recording room and the other room I spotted Jung Min. he wasn’t alone. Makoto was close to him, very close. I was shocked. He was gripping her arms while she was kissing him. I felt pain in my heart. I was furious and jealous. There was anger in me. But did I have a right to be angry? He wasn’t really mine to begin with? But why he started it while he was with her again? But something about the situation wasn’t right. I quickly walked towards the room that my fiancé was with another woman and opened the door. Both people turned the faces towards me. Jung Min with pained expression while Makoto had smirk forming on her lips. I really liked him right? I had too since I was shocked now. I wanted him to be mine. I took him for granted. Or maybe he used me this whole time, made me believe he likes me.

I looked at him heartbroken. But there was something in his eyes what made me lost. I thought about it for a minute. While would he text me  only to find him in this situation? He wasn’t perfect but he wasn’t bad person. And then I let my body go. Jung Min was mine and nobody have a right to take him away. I took few steps.

-          Joey It’s not what you think…. – he started. I didn’t stop. Makoto seemed happy with herself. I guess she didn’t expect what I did next.

-          I know – I said to him. Then I pushed her away with my right hand and stood in front of him.

I put my hand behind his neck, burying my fingers into his hair.

-          You know your mine – I whispered before I moved my lips close to his. I kissed him deeply. I kissed him like my life depended on it. He stood still for a bit, obviously shocked. I bet he expected a slap or something. But after a while he gave in and his arms rested on my lower back.

It was sweet and I enjoyed it. I finally pulled away and turned my back towards Makoto. She had open. Yes that was a surprise right!

-          You need to have a better plan – I said to her – I trust him.

Then I grabbed his hand and we walked out.

-          Yah Mal here you are… Wait Joey what are you doing here? – Hyung Jun looked confused.

-          I was near so I wanted to say hello – I smiled – I guess you have a practice now so I will get going.

Boys came home around 1 am that night. I was already in bed but still not sleeping. I heard Jung Min sneaking in the room. I stayed quiet. He took shower and then softly climb in the bed. He extended his hand and was about to touch my face when I finally spoken.

-          I'm not sleeping….

He took hand back not knowing what to say.

-          Are you angry at me? – he whispered.

-          Why are you thinking that?

-           Uuummm… you have seen me… with… her – he said.

-          Yeah I know. Didn’t my kiss convinced you I am fine with it – I asked turning my head towards him.

-          I was thinking you only did that to annoy Makoto….i swear I didn’t want….

-          I know – I disturbed.

-          How?

-          I got mysterious message early from you and you normally don’t do that. And there was few odd things when I turned up. She set you up…

-          But you could easily believe… - he said.

-          I trust you.. We have a deal right? – I snuggled closer having some need to feel his warmth.

He noticed my movement and put his arms around me. I inhale his scent. He wouldn’t hurt me would he? But could I let myself really believe he was mine? Firstly he belonged to fans, I knew that. His fans really loved him. They stuck by his side for all that years. Then he could have any girl, so why he would stay by my side? I shook off all of the thoughts.

-          Thank you – he whispered plastering soft kiss on my lips.

I didn’t push him away. I liked it.

-          I am sorry – he said then.

-          Why? – I asked.

-          For a kiss. I know you don’t feel the same way…..

-          Don’t be – I was the one this time to place a soft kiss.

I snuggled closer. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t admit I might have like him more and more every day. I was playing safe. I was guarding myself, him and my friendship. Even so I would love to finally admit to him everything. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t….