I turned around shocked. I wasn’t sure what to do or say. I looked at his eyes. They have been so warm and real I knew he didn’t lie. But was I ready? Did I like him enough? Was I able to trust him fully? Not long ago I met with my ex who hurt me and wanted me back, how could I let anyone in my heart.

His face was unchanged, full of concern as I struggled to say anything at all. I surly had some feeling for him but I don’t think I was ready to admit it. I was just about to say something, not sure what really when he took step closer to me and put his finger on my mouth.

-          You don’t have to say anything. I know I have no right to expect anything. Just please don’t leave. Please stay friends. I can’t handle the fact that I hurt you. Please forgive me.

I did only one think I could think of on that very moment. I snuggled in his arms. Tears were threatening to spill. It was good to feel his warmth again, to feel safe. I wasn’t sure till then if I can face the world back but with him it will be defiantly easier.

-          I am sorry – I whispered – I shouldn’t have meet him. 

-          No I am sorry I should first listen to you. There was many rumours about me before and all I did was believe in lies.

-          But you know he was my ex boyfriend? – I didn’t want to leave anything behind.

-          I know.

I snuggled even closer inhaling his scent. Then he pulled away and gave me that longing look. I thought he would kiss me but I guess fact I didn’t respond to his confession drew some invisible line between us. He hugged me quickly again before the doors burst open and four familiar faces fell on the floor.

-          Opps – Hyung Jun said.

-          Yah! Get off me! – shouted leader who was at the bottom of human pyramid.

-          How long did you eavesdrop? – Jung Min gave them disapproved look.

-          We needed to make sure you will behave – Young Saeng winked and rest of the giggled.

I giggled too. They looked like a sandwich and it made me feel better to know they had been worried. Kyu Jong made an attempt to get up first since he was on top. Then was the rest of them. When it came Hyun Joong turn he kept lying on the floor and .

-          Someone… please… help me… up – he said between breaths.

We all laughed before Kyu Jong pulled him to his feet. I came to all of them and we had a group hug.

-          I missed you guys – I said smiling. It was strange as I really felt like I almost lost family because of stupid rumour.

-          Ok guys so let’s eat and then we need to think how to clean up the whole situation.

-          What do you mean clean up? – I asked not understanding meaning of leader’s words.

-          Well there was a lot of speculations in media especially after you left. We need to explain nothing is true on the next conference. It will be hard to do however.

-           Unless they set fake wedding date that would shut up media for a while – said Hyung Jun who within seconds got assaulted by Jung Min.

-          You stop thinking makane – he said to baby. I guess he noticed how my face went scary white on the news about wedding date.

-          We need to have a good explanation.

And with that we left all the talks. We were thinking about saying the truth but it wasn’t possible. Even so we didn’t have any ideal answer on the websites there was still information about a special conference that I will be an additional guest. I tried not to read all those abusive comments underneath of the articles but I couldn’t stop. People had been more than horrible, which was obvious as fans tried to protect their favourite star. It still amused me that some of the fans waited years for their comeback and seemed very passionate about their “love” towards group.

When it finally came day of the conference I was shaking. I have been fully taken care of regarding clothes and make up. I must say when I looked in the mirror I loved how I looked. It was like mix of innocence with a strong accent. With every minute my heart began to pound lauder. I knew some fans might to horrible things to me there and it wasn’t easy. Before we entered on the stage  I got text from my little new friend saying “Hwaiting”. I smiled.

-          Are you ready – Jung Min was by my side offering his help.

-          Yeah – I placed my hand in his.

-          You are shaking – he whispered.

-          I know I can’t help it.

All four boys joined us soon and we moved towards the stage. Mc greeted us but fans remind quiet. There was no green lightsticks like on concerts or fanmeeting. It seemed like that black ocean I read about. I wanted to run at this point but Jung Min’s hand kept me in place.

We sat down on a little chairs and MC started questioning. At the beginning there were normal questions regarding boys and their promotions to which fans cheered. Situation changed when it was my turn.

-          Jung Min-ssi, there was a recent incident where your fiancé was spotted with another man – he started with a daring question

-          Ne – he answered.

-          Would you like to tell us what happened?

-          Well Joanne was having a coffee with her very old friend who visited her from Europe.  – fans went quiet.

-          But as you know there have been some pictures stating it was something more….Would you like to answer Joanne- ssi.

My name with Korean honorific’s sounded weird.

-          How my fiancé said, it was misunderstanding. The person I was seen with is my old friend from school.

There were some shouting of fans who were getting more furious. Seemed no one believed.

-          We decided to check all information points therefore we have a special guest here – MC said and we all looked at him confused – Let’s ask person who is involved in the situation.

I looked to my right and then I saw him – tall, handsome and familiar – Xavier. I was starting to get panic attack. He probably hated me, he wanted a revenge. Now I will have to go back to Europe for sure. But then why there was such a big investigation. We are not a Hollywood stars.

Xavier came closer and gave me a little peck after saying hello to fans and MC. I was sitting there suddenly weak and shocked. I wanted to cry. Jung Min squeezed my hand trying to calm me.

-          Xavier-ssi – ok that was even weirder – do you know Joanne.

-          Yes – said my ex boyfriend in broken Korean, wait when did he learn it? – I know her for a very long time.

-          Well you know why we asked you here, therefore I will be blunt – Mc said serious and fans gasped. – Can you explain the situation.

-          Of course – he said looking at me and smiled. I was so nervous I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad smile but I expected the worst. – I have met Joanne back in high school. I was her friends brother – it was actually truth. – We have been very close. But not close as everyone here probably think.

I got confused, what did he mean? Will he tell the truth?

-          We have been best friends – What?! Came to my mind and Jung Min seemed shocked too. – We have been best friends till she didn’t leave for Korea. We kept in touch of course but when she started getting known it was harder to communicate. I didn’t want to cause her problems. But when I got the news she got engaged, I had to congratulate her. You know we have been such a good friends, I wanted to be during the happy moment – he smiled.

Then he did something, I saw him doing before. He turned towards fans.

-          I know you have been worried, some of you might have been happy to have your oppa back, but believe me Joey and me are only friends. As a matter of fact I have a girlfriend back in Europe.  – he used his charms while lying – I came here to make sure Joanne is happy and I can tell they really love each other, so please take care of them.

And with that he bowed, said thank you and made an excuse to leave. I sat there shocked and quiet. When MC started asking leader some question and moved to another topic I was still sitting there unmoved. Xavier at the end wasn’t so bad person. He lied and he lied for me….