_{A Heart Divided}

^{_________________________________________♦ Chapter 9 ♦____________________________________________________________________________________________________________} 

Onew likes me?  I don't know what to think anymore, I wasn't expecting this at all. Since when? Why now?

“What? How could you possibly like me? You have never once shown any interest in me before, so why now?”

           Onew's face becomes angry again but he also looks hurt, as if someone he trusted just stabbed him in the back. His voice got loud again, but you can hear a crack as he speaks with an emotional voice and says, “I've never shown any interest in you before?! I've never shown any interest?!!?!! Who was there for you when you had no one to talk to? Who was the one that would stay up all night talking on the phone with you until the next morning?!! Who was the one that would sing to you lullabies over the phone on the nights when you couldn't fall asleep? Who was the one that always ran to you every time you would cry?!?! Who would hold you in their arms and tell you that everything will be alright? "

            I could see the anger and frustration in him, and the vein’s in his neck popping out from his anger. He took a pause and a deep breath as he closed his eyes.  His body shook in anger, then he continued speaking, “Have the boys that you liked in the past ever done that for you? No. Only me. But you know what? I'm tired of it. I don't want to do that anymore for you. I'm done, I give up. I'm done looking at only you, and hopping that maybe one day you might look at me back, because I understand now, you never will look at me as more than just a friend.”

           Onew looks up at the sky and releases a big sigh, as if releasing all the anger and frustration in his body. He then looks back at me calmly and says, “Do whatever you want, I won't stop you, because I'm officially taking myself out of your life. So please do me the favor and don't look for me to comfort you when you get hurt, because I'm just going to ignore you. I know it might not seem fair to you…. But I can’t keep being the same way with you when you have feelings for another man, not anymore, espesially now that you know how I feel…it’s not fair to me either.”

             I'm just standing there in front of him with my eyes wide open as I try to process the words that are coming out of his mouth. He’s leaving me. Tears begin to race down my cheeks. Onew closes his eyes at the sight of my tears. He tightens his lips together and begins to walk away from me. 'Stop him' I yell to myself as I watch Onew's back go farther away from me. I try yelling out to him “WAIT, DON'T GO, I NEED YOU!”  But it's no use. It’s as if my voice was stolen. No mater how much I want to yell, the only thing that escapes from my mouth is silence. My body is frozen and unable to move. I'm defenseless as the pain in my heart attacks me, not allowing me to move a muscle. I’m paralyzed. The only thing I can do is cry as I watch the person I truly care for in the whole world turn the corner without looking back.

And just like that I watched as he disappeared from my life.