Miss No Label

   C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y -  S E V E N   

POV:

        Trust Lay. Trust Lay. I repeated the same thought in my mind. It was the last thing that could keep me breathing at that moment. I could not comprehend how things got to where it was. I remembered a kind and approachable Sara, not the woman back there - mocking me and treating me like I'm a piece of trash. 

       Maybe she was right though. In fact, I cannot make myself hate her. She made her point. The worse part of being in my sitauation was the fact that everything Sara said were true. 

        She's engaged with Lay.

       I lived with Lay back in Seoul.

       I continued with my relationship with him even if I knew they were engaged.

       Lay gave me everything I needed. In return, I have nothing to offer him.

       I close my eyes for a while, shaking the thoughts away. I replayed the memory of being in the music room with Lay before all the chaos - the song he composed for me, the way we touched and kissed, his heartfelt I love you, everything. I replayed the same memory over and over again, hoping it could erase the humiliation and the insecurity I felt. 

        As I opened my eyes, I took one deep breath and continued on repeating my mantra in my mind. 

        Just then, a hand tapped my shoulder. 

       "Sara," the deep manly voice said before I can turn around.

       I wondered if fate just loved playing with me. Who would have thought somebody had mistaken me for Sara.

        The voice continued with Mandarin words, which I failed to understand, of course.

       I turned around and saw the biggest shock that could ever happen to me for the night - or maybe for my whole life.

       A bearded man was standing before me, suited with a neat grey tuxedo. He himself was perhaps as shocked as I was.

        Of all places, why in Changsha? Of all people, why him? Of all days, why that night? Could a person really have too much to handle in one night? My mind was in chaos. I felt my knees weaken. I could not comprehend exactly what I was feeling, but one thing was for sure; I was helpless.

        It was my father. He was standing in front of me. 

       Did I hear him right? He called me Sara? He knew Sara? How? 

       Those and a million more questions jolted and popped in my mind. I could not catch up. I froze and just stood for a moment.

       "S-Soojung?" He stammered.

       Soojung. He called me Soojung. So I was not dreaming after all. It was really him.

       "A-appa?" I whisper.

       He reached for my face, but I stepped back. I did not even have time to decide to do it, but I just did. It was as if it was some reflex.

       "S-soojung." His voice was hoarse and low. "Why are you here?"

       I thought he was working for us, his family. I thought he was in a ship, just like what my mother told me. I thought he was carrying those heavy loads from ship to ship and from one country to another to earn money. I thought he was away to give us a better future. 

       Was I thinking wrong?

       "I think I should ask you the same question, appa." My voice was so little. I wanted to keep strong, but my throat was dry and my chest was insanely beating.

        He was silent and I knew my fears were confirmed. He had already turned his back on us. For a long time already, that is.

       "You know Sara?" I asked despite my shaking voice.

       He nodded. 

        I finally managed to glance up and took notice of an envelope he was holding. In English typography, it read Mr. Feng.

       Feng? Wasn't he supposed to be a Jung?

        Noticing my eyes on it, he hid it in his pocket.

       "Mr. Feng." A man, who was obviously American by the looks and the language, approached him. "Miss Feng Sara is looking for you."

       "Okay, Dan." My father nodded, still looking at me. "I'll follow later."

        I eye the so-called Dan as he disappeared. 

       "Appa," I muttered. "Omma waits for you everyday. Do you even know we lost our home? Do you know Yoogeun asks for you almost everyday? Why, appa? Why? Tell me," I paused to catch my breath. "How are you related to Sara?"

       "She's my..." 

       I close my eyes. Before he could finish, I cut him off. "Your daughter?"

       I realized Sara was older than I was. I did not know how to respond to all the realizations in hand.

        He simply nodded. 

       "How could you do it, appa? How did you do this to us? To omma? Don't you love her anymore?"

       "I love you, Soojung. You and Yoogeun." I close my eyes, stopping myself to shout in behalf of my mother. Those times he was gone, I was a witness of my mother's endless tears. "But your mother, we were never..."

       "Appa." I stopped him. I did not want to hear the next word.

        "Mr. Feng." Dan appeared again. I swore I could slap that stranger.

       "Yes, Dan. Please," My father shook his head and turned to me. "Soojung, sorry." He handed me a handkerchief. I did not realize I was crying until then. I just stared at it until he grabbed my hand and made me hold it.

       He hugged me one last time and kissed my forehead. "Sorry," He whispered. "Hate me, but I can't leave my family here."

       Bastard! I wanted to scream but I was too weak. I excerted all my energy into lifting my hand and slapping it into his face.

       "That's for omma." I whisper. 

       I turned around and heard one last apology from him before nothingness. 

       My aunt was right. My father had another family. He never loved us. We were second. 

       Your father never loved your mother. He made it clear that they're not a labeled relationship, but your mother fell too hard. You're nothing but a lousy illegitimate child, Soojung.

       The words from several years back echoed in my ear. 

       I sobbed heavier -  heavier than I ever cried until I fell on the floor. 

       The next thing I saw was Lay getting off his car and running to me. He quickly enveloped me into his arms and whispered comforing words in my ear.

       What if Lay and I would end up like my parents? What if I'll end up getting hurt like my mother? What if Lay leaves me when he gets tired of me? 

        "Krystal," he kissed my ear. "If this is about what Sara said, please..."

       I cut him off. "She's my sister."

        He listened to me intently as I told him everything. We were on the floor, sitting in front of the big glass wall that was supposed to give off a good view of Changsha. All I saw, however, was darkness and pain.

       "Mr. Feng? Your father?" 

       I nodded. I wanted to cry once again, but I stopped myself and burried myself in his arms. I needed his safeguard.

        He kissed my hair and rubbed my knuckles as he held my hands. I knew he did not know what to say, and I understood that he did not need to. He was there at that was what matters most.

       "That explains why you and Sara somehow look similar." he whispers.

        "You think so?" I muttred as I fidgeted with his fingers. "I think she's more beautiful."

       "I believe you are." He kisses my temple. 

       "And I believe I solved another mystery." I close my eyes as I felt a pain pang on my chest. "Sara is your first love, right?"

        Lay flinched and I knew I was right. 

       "I know, Lay." I said as it took him longer to respond. "I'm not mad. Don't worry. I have one question, though."

       "You're not the father of Sara's baby, right?" I whispered - too soft for even myself to hear. 

       "No. Of course not." He replied right away. "I already told you. It was his ex-boyfriend."

       I nodded. "One more question."

       He kissed my temple again, and I took it as a yes.

       "Do you still love her?" It was hard to utter and I was fearful for the answer but I asked anyway. It's better to know sooner than never and just get hurt worse.

       "No." He replied. "I don't think I ever loved her. She loved Lay, not me. I loved the thought of being Lay so I thought I loved her."

        I nodded again.

       "I love you, Krystal." He whispers in my ear. I turned around to face him and see worry in his eyes.

       "Then why are we unlabeled?" It came out of my mouth without me knowing it.

        He blinked. It took a while before he could reply. "I was afraid. But right now, if there's something I'm afraid of, it's losing you."

       Before I could respond, he scooped me from the floor and brought me to bed.

        He kissed me passionately. I could not help but kiss back despite the mourning in my heart after everything that happened.

       "Do you want us to be labeled then? I'll give you everything, Krystal. You know that. Just tell me. I can give you the world." His eyes were darker. I felt sincerity in his voice.

       "It's not that, Lay." I reply in a small voice. "It's just that... you know... my mother and father... they..."

       He stopped me by kissing me again.

       "We're not ending the way they did." He said as he broke the kiss. "In fact, we're not ending."

        I nodded. "I trust you, Lay. I love you and you love me too. Isn't that what's supposed to matter?"

       He smiles and adjust himself so he was literally above me. Our position sent chills down my spine.

       "Yes, that's what matters." He kissed me briefly again. "And I think I'm ready to label us."

       "You don't really need to..." 

       He cut me off again as he shook his head. "No, I want to. Becuase I love you and I'll prove it."

       I froze.

       He grabbed something from the pocket of his coat - a small dark red box. 

       "What... Lay... I..." I was shaking.

       He smiled shyly and pecked on my lips.

        Opening the box revealed a ring - simple yet it was shining in my eyes. I stared at it for a while and froze. 

        Lay grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckled. "Jung Soojung, marry me."

       Oh, commanding Yixing. Isn't it supposed to be in question form.

       For the second time that night, I cried.

       It was different the second round, though. It was pure happiness. Geunine and priceless happiness.

author's note
I think this fic is nearing the end. More or less 5 chapters to go.
Don't forget to comment, okay?
What do you think Krystal's answer will be?

And please check out my new fic. South of Perfect <-- click