Miss No Label

   C H A P T E R   T H I R T Y - T W O   

POV:

        I have always been pained with the inevitable part of me that I always wanted to get rid of. If I could only erase all the haunting memories, I could have done it a long time ago. I was so stupid for running away from it despite knowing it will always follow me no matter what.

       The serenity of the evening and the feel of Krystal's stare were ironic with the arid dryness of my throat. She patiently waited for me to speak - not bugging me to begin nor forcing me to reveal everything out. She just sat next to me, waiting for me to be ready.

        "I'm adopted." I cut the long silence. It was evident that she did not expect it. It made her fully wake up; she almost jumped from her seat. hung open for a second or two, yet immediately closed as I took a look at her. 

       Adopted. The stranged and somewhat vulgar and insecure word echoed in my ear as if screaming the reality I denied for myself. I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep sigh as I saw Krystal struggle for anything to say. Truth was, she did not need to say anything. 

       Flashback. That night when my mother - my real mother, that is - left the young and innocent Yixing at the park, my life started to drastically change. I waited for her despite the comeback of the rain and the coldness of the freezing weather. I stayed at that exact bench despite the loud thunderbolts that scared the premature dependence in me. I forgot about the hot chocolate she promised nor the new toy car I bugged her for several weeks. All I ever wanted was to see my mother come back for me. I waited for her, the heavens know. She never came.

        I called her name while I sobbed endlessly, hoping she would somehow hear my deserate plead. I covered my ears and closed my eyes to shut the thought of the fear-igniting weather. At the middle of the freezing pain, I noticed how the raindrops ceased dropping onto my skin. I slowly opened my eyes only too see a man in suit shelter an umbrella above me.

       "Yixing." I wondered how he knew my name, but I could not think of anything else more but the way I shivered into the extreme and unbearable cold winds and droplets.

       "Who are you?" I asked.

       "Come inside." He commanded as he opened the door, revealing another man in suit - older and fairer than the first man I saw.. The man looked at me blankly from head to toe. "Come inside, Yixing." The younger man said.

        "I can't. Mama will come back for me here." I told him, trying to be the brave soul.

       "We'll bring you to your mother." The man inside the car told me. "Come inside before you get sick."

        They led me to a mansion - a house several times bigger than the house I was used to. "Mama is there?" I asked the older man.

       "You'll see her soon." The younger man replied on his behalf.

        They led me to a large room and changed my drench clothes. I endlessly asked them where my mother was, but they avoided my eyes. As soon as I got out, a girl in her preteens ran to me and gave me a hug. "You're back, Lay." She said. "Jiejie knew you'll be back."

       I shook my head. "I'm not Lay. My name is Yixing." I told her. "Do you know where mama is?"

        She held my hand, leading me to a wider room. I got to see the older man again. She was with a woman with lonely eyes, lying in bed. 

       "Mama!" The girl screamed. "Lay is back."

       The next thing I knew, I was put into a tight embrace by a weeping woman. She was calling me Lay endlessly, caressing my back as she thanked me for coming back. I knew those words were not for me. I looked like their son, Lay, who died of a rare disease. 

        I told the story to Krystal as I forced to maintain a blank expression. I was barely telling her half, yet she was already tearing up. 

       "Don't cry, please." I told her as I wiped her tears.

       "Sorry." She said. "I can't help it. I never thought you've been through a lot."

       "What I told you was not even a lot yet." I told her. "I told you, my life is complicated."

       "Can you continue?" She asked me with puffy eyes.

       I shook my head. "I can't let you cry until sunrise, princess." I tried to laugh.

       "I won't cry." She raised her right hand as if making a promise.

        I shook my head again. I patted my shoulder as I said, "Sleep."

       "Please? Does your mom, I mean, your Zhang mom, know you're not Lay?" She asked. "Oh, I mean... if it's okay to answer that. If you don't want to..."

      I cut her off as I nodded. "She knows. My father cannot lie all those years. But my mother did not want to give me up. She loved me - or more appropriately, she loved Lay that much." I replied. "Everyday, I would escape their tall gates and go back to the park, hoping for my real mother to get me back. I was just disappointed. A month after, I heard my parents talking, saying my mother sold me for a certain price."

       Krystal began tearing up again, sniffing as she listened. "Sorry. I can't help it."

        Thinking I revealed a lot already, I might as well reveal all she needed to know. "I felt the comfort of a family and eventually forgot about my previous life. Back then, I had a scoundrel father who forced me to do errands for him. Knowing I was sold, anger dominated me towards my mother. You might think I'm mean, but I can't help it. With the Zhangs, I was treated like a prince - like a master." I sighed to breath briefly. "Life never vowed to be easy, however. I know they still see Yixing, the adopted member of the family. I had to work every point of reputation and right to be a Zhang - to be Lay. I want to be Lay, but I can't seem to be. I despise Yixing, to be honest. He's weak, stupid, foolish. He hold an unwanted past. But the thing is, he's so inevitable. He's the part of me which runs through my veins. But Lay... He's the perfect one. He's his father's favorite, his mother's love and his sister's best friend. Yixing, I know, is just a cover-up."

       I stopped to pinch the bridge of my nose, wanting to supress the tears I can't show to anyone, not even to the woman I love the most.

       A vague single drop fell as I felt Krystal hold my hand and grip it tight. I knew that tear was Yixing's. It was tear from my real self - the part of me that I wanted to get rid of. Yixing's tear fell, I was certain, because he knew he felt love despite his pain.

       "You've been so strong, Yixing." Krystal uttered as she put me into a tight embrace. "You've worked hard, Lay. It's time to lean on me this time. You don't have to force yourself. No matter who you are, I love you nonetheless." Her voice was like a melodic tune that melted my fears and healed my wounds. 

        I wondered what good deed I've done to be so blessed with a love Krystal shared with me. I have caused her pain, heartache and struggles, yet she loved me still. I told her my dark past, but she accepted me with no hesitation. At that moment, I realized I did not want to change anything in my life. Given different circumstances, I could not have felt such love. 

       "I love you more." I whispered in her ear. It did not matter who said it. The thing was, all of me loved and adored her. 

author's note
I'm not sure if I was clear with Lay's past.
Tell me if I'm not so I can work on it.
Drop your feedbacks, okay?
I'm open to any comment.
I'm so glad I still keep on having new subbies and upvotes.
It motivates me to do better.

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