Ying Jie's POV

Why does he want to tell me his ex-girlfriend so sudden? Does he still love her? I frown.

"It's not what you think." He says and presses on my frowned eyebrows. I stop frowning. I feel him taking a deep breathes, and he starts what he wants to say.

"Well, my ex-girlfriend, which is also my first love, we've been together for 6 years." He says. 6 years? That's long! But... What happened to the 6 years relationship? I ask in my mind, though I'm not sure whether I want to know.

"During these 6 years, we were happy, very happy. Even though sometimes we quarrel or argue, we were really happy to have each other. But she disappears a year ago, she left me, and I don't know the reason why and where she went." I tighten my hug around him. It's like I can feel his pain. I can also feel that he really loves her.

"But that's not the point." He says and looks at me nervously. I can feel his body tense. I'm confused. He told me about his past with his ex-girlfriend moments ago, and now he's telling me that not the point. What is he trying to tell me?

"Actually... My ex-girlfriend and you... Both of you look alike." He says, and I'm surprise. So is he telling me that he loves me because we look alike? Unknowingly, I ask him the question that is in my mind.

"No! I love you because you're you. Although you and her looks similar, your attitude and personality are different from hers. And the love I feel for you is much stronger than the love I feel for her." He says desperately and nervously. I chuckle at his desperateness.

"Well, then that's all I need to know, that you really love me. And I love you too." I say, and I feel his body relaxes.

He told me about his ex-girlfriend. So should I tell him about Sheng Yi?

"Do you want to know about my ex-boyfriend?" I ask, and he gives me a shocking answer.

"I already know about your ex-boyfriend. Xiao Yu told me." He says. That Xiao Yu! How can he tell Aaron without me knowing? Sigh. But I think he's just helping me, so I can forgive him about that.

"It's late. I should send you home now." He says and stands, holding out his hand. I take his hand and we heads to the car.

***

I can hear the sound of the doorbells in my sleep. I reach out for the alarm clock on the bed-stand and open my eyes to look at the time. It's just 7AM. I usually sleep till 9AM or 10AM during the weekends. I get off the bed and walks lazily to open the door.

"Good morning!" Aaron greets with a huge smile on his face. Why is he so early? I smile tiredly at him and walk to the couch. I plop myself down and close my eyes to continue my sleep. After few seconds, I think I heard him saying "Go back to bed and sleep", but I ignore it and continue staying in my position and sleep.

When I woke up, it's already 10AM. I sit up and walk to the bathroom, which are just few steps away from the bed. Few steps away from the bed? Then I realise that I'm sleeping on my bed. Opening the door for Aaron is only happening in my dream? But it feels so real. Not thinking any longer, I walk in to the bathroom to wash up.

I walk towards the living room, and he's sitting on the couch, talking on the phone. So it wasn't a dream. I take a seat beside him and switch on the television. I switch the channel to my favourite, and it’s broadcasting a repeat of one of my favourite dramas, Fated to Love You¹. While watching, he puts a hand on my shoulder, and I snuggle close to him. I can no longer concentrate on the drama when I overheard his conversation with someone over the phone.

“Yes, change the appointment. Later afternoon. Yes. 2PM.”

Appointment? What kind of appointment? Does he have work today, but he pushed it away? Then why is he here?

 “Hey, what are you thinking about?” He turns my head to look at him and ask me. I didn’t even notice that he had finish talking on the phone.

“I overheard your conversation. You seem to have an appointment. Do you have work today? Then, why are you here so early?”

“No I don’t have any work today. I actually came here early because I bought you breakfast, and also bring you to the hospital to see the best haematologist. We actually schedule an appointment at 10AM, but you’re tired, so I asked Mr Kang to change the schedule with the doctor.”

Oh. That explains a lot. I just told him that I accept to go through the chemotherapy yesterday, and he has already schedule an appointment with the doctor. But if I went to see his doctor, doesn’t that mean that I have lesser time to spend with him before I go through the chemotherapy? And what if my condition becomes worse?

“Don’t think. I know what you are thinking.” He says and shook his head. How does he even know what I was thinking? He learnt mind readings?

“You’re staring into space, and your expression says it all.” He answers the question in my mind again.

“Maybe I should stop talking to you, since you can read my expression.” I say, trying to look angry. He just gives me his signature smile, which makes me smile back at him. Now I realise that he has known me well.

He heats up the breakfast for me. Although he doesn’t know how to cook, he knows simple things like heating up food using the microwave. I cleared my doubts during breakfast. He carried me back to my bedroom to let me sleep, which for once I thought I was sleepwalking back to my bed before I ask him that question. He said he wanted me to sleep in a much comfortable bed rather than a not much comfortable couch. The couch and bed are both comfortable for me, but still, I love his caringly sweetness. I really can’t get enough of his sweetness and love for me, and these will be the things I’ll miss if… I mean if, I’m gone. Just in case he really does read people’s mind.

During the afternoon, he brings me to the hospital to see a haematologist, Dr Koh. He did some check-ups on me, while Aaron waits in the waiting room. After the check-ups, Aaron and I went to Dr Koh’s office and waits for the result.

 “Miss Wu, your result shows that you’re already in the late stage. I suggest you stay in the hospital now for chemotherapy.” He says. Stay in the hospital now? Then what about the dinner with Aaron’s mother later? Then how am I going to spend time with Aaron? I’ve got lots of things that I wanted to do with him, but if I stay in the hospital, I can’t do much with him.

“She’ll stay from today.” Aaron says. He wanted me to stay now?

“Can I start next week?” I ask Dr Koh, and Aaron is giving me angry stares. I ignore him and wait for Dr Koh’s answer.

“Yes, but I suggest you don’t. We do not know how fast the cells can grow. And if by next week it worsens, the survival rate will be much lower.” He says. The survival rate now for me is only 40%. It’s still a risk to me. I’ve said I wanted to go through it is because of Aaron’s love, and I really hope I can survive. If the survival rate drops, I’m losing more chances to survive.

“How about tomorrow?” I ask, again. I’m really afraid that I might not survive even if I try. At least give me a night time to spend with him.

“If you insist, sure.”

***

We are now in the car heading to his house. He hasn’t talk to me since we left Dr Koh’s office. No, he did talk to me once, but just only ask me where I want to go. After that, it’s just silence. Sigh. He’s really angry that I didn’t admit to the hospital.

We reach his house. He opens the door for me, but I didn’t get out. Instead, I just ask him, “Are you really not going to talk to me the rest of the day?”

He looks at me, then looks down at his feet, and looks back at me again. “No.” He says. After that, silence again. He holds out his hand, and I took it. I thought he’s going to talk to me again, but no, it’s still silence.

Before we reach the foyer, I stop in my steps. He stops too, since we’re holding hands. He turns to look at me, asking me what’s wrong with his facial expression.

“The only thing that you say to me after I ask you that question is ‘no’. Are you really that angry with me?”

He frowns. “No.” He says. Then silence, again, like what happened just now. He still seems angry to me. I just look at him, telling him I don’t believe that. He looks elsewhere, closing his eyes like he’s thinking something painful, then open his eyes to look at me again. This time, it’s not the angry eyes that I have seen earlier. It’s more like, sad, and scared.

“I’m just not happy that you didn’t stay for the chemotherapy just now. I’m just scared that, I might lose you if you take too long to treat. I don’t want that.” He says, and pulls me in for a hug. I return the hug tighter. I’m also scared too.

“But the survival rate is just 40%.” I whisper.

“Dr Koh said it’s the common survival rate for all leukemia patients. And he is the best haematologist, and he treats lots of leukemia patients with the same survival rate. But you heard him. He says your survival rate will drop if you take too long to get treated, that’s why I hope you can start the chemotherapy today. But you refuse.”

“I just want to spend time with you.”

“You will, if you get treated.”

“But I’m scared it fails.”

“No it won’t!” He said loudly, scaring me. I heard him sigh. “Stop thinking this. You said you wanted to spend time with me, so let’s spend the day happily.” He says and releases the hug. He forces a smile. His forced smile looks funny, so I can’t help but laugh. He laughs with me, and I soon forgotten about our conversation earlier.

***

¹ A 2008 Taiwanese Idol Drama (命中注定我爱你), starring Ethan Ruan & Joe Chen