"Another apartment was found for you, Yunho," Kangta announced as the younger one was drinking his coffee. The two of them were currently in Kangta's house, a place Yunho had been staying at ever since he was released from the hospital. Yunho hadn't stepped foot into his and Changmin's shared apartment ever since Changmin was kidnapped.

Yunho nodded. He was appreciative, he just had a problem with moving on.

Seeing Yunho's calm reaction, Kangta continued. "This new place is fully furnished," he said. "So you and I need to go to your old place and pick up your stuff."

Kangta didn't have to even finish his sentence to know that he had said the wrong thing. He watched as Yunho's eyes widened, instantly becoming wet. Yunho swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt the rate of his breathing increasing.

There was a reason why Yunho hadn't been back at the dorm ever since Changmin was taken.

"Y-Yunho," Kangta said.

Yunho started quickly shaking his head. "I don't need to go back there," he rushed out, the panic evident in his voice. "I can just move into the new one."

Kangta sighed, not surprised to receive this reaction from Yunho. "Come on, Yunho," he said gently. "You need to go back. What about your clothes? Your books? All the poems and songs you've written? Gifts from your grandfather? You need to get those too."

"Someone else can pick those up for me," Yunho replied. He didn't even care if he got all of his stuff back. "I can always buy new clothes and books anyway."

"And what about Changmin's stuff?" Kangta asked. "He needs his stuff, too."

At the sound of his maknae's name, Yunho let the tears fall freely from his face. 

"Yunho," Kangta said gently. "It's been almost six weeks since you left the hospital. I would like you to continue staying here, but doing this isn't going to help you move on."

Yunho felt his muscles becoming slack. He dropped his coffee mug, not even reacting as the clay shattered into a thousand pieces at his feet.

Kangta stared at him in worry.

"I can't go back there," Yunho muttered. "I can't. I just can't." His speaking capacity had been reduced to that of a child's. "I still remember everything. I remember Changmin crying. I remember him screaming." Yunho paused, swallowing thickly. "I remember the bullet hitting me."

Kangta sighed, slowly placing his hand on Yunho's shoulder. "Yunho," he began. "I know this is hard for you-"

Those words seemed to have made something snap within Yunho. Before Kangta could continue, Yunho violently pushed Kangta's hand away. He gave him a fierce look, severely scaring the older man. "What do you know?" Yunho asked angrily. "What do you know about how I feel and how hard it is for me?" Yunho snorted, feeling his head spin. "Do you know what it feels like to be a terrible leader and break every promise you made you the people you've always cared about? Try watching three of your closest friends leave you because you couldn't convince them to stay! Changmin was the only one I had left! I had been with him for over ten years, watching him train, watching him grow up! I'm supposed to protect him! I promised him that I would! And look what I've done!" Yunho started breathing heavily. "I couldn't do anything to save him! I let him down again. Do you know what it's like to watch your little brother be taken from you? Don't you dare try to relate your feelings to me! You have no idea what I've been through!"

Yunho's outburst left Kangta speechless. He just watched as Yunho tried to get his breathing under control.

"You're right," Kangta finally said in a soft voice, a huge contrast to Yunho's previous volume. "I have no idea about what you went through, and I don't ever want to know." Kangta sighed. "But I know that on the inside, you're dying. I've seen how everything has effected you lately. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. It's not fair to you or Changmin."

Yunho started wiping his face, even though the tears kept coming anyway.

"Changmin wouldn't want you like this," Kangta said. 

Yunho dropped to his knees, not bothered by the fact that the remnants of his coffee mug were stabbing his knees.

Kangta followed suit. He got on the ground, careful to avoid any broken clay pieces, and pulled Yunho into a hug.

"Sometimes...I think that all of this is a bad dream," Yunho confessed in between his sobs. "I pray that the next morning, I'll wake to Changmin cooking something."

Kangta held Yunho tighter.

"I can't believe he's gone," Yunho muttered.

"He's not gone," Kangta said. "He's coming back. Changmin has never let anyone down before."

Yunho took a shuddering breath. "I can't go back there," he finally choked. "Too many memories of...of him...of everything that happened." Yunho started sobbing again; no surprise to Kangta. "I'm not going back there you can't make me!" Yunho knew he sounded very much like a child. He really didn't care. He'll argue, cry, and throw tantrums in order to get what he wanted if he needed to.

Kangta felt a pain in his chest as he watched Yunho fall apart once again.

That was his heart breaking.

"I'll go with you," Kangta promised. 

"I already said I'm not going!" Yunho replied angrily.

"And I already said that you have to go!" Kangta argued. 

Yunho looked away, muttering something in between sobs.

"Wh-what did you say?" Kangta asked.

Yunho swallowed. "I'm not strong enough," he repeated. He started shaking his head, repeating that one statement like a chant. "I'm not strong enough. I'm not strong enough..."

"Yes you are, Yunho!" Kangta said, grabbing the younger one by the shoulders and gently shaking him. "You're really strong, Yunho. Don't doubt yourself. Changmin needs you."

"He needed me and I let him down!" Yunho reminded him. "He'll never trust me again and it's all my fault! All of you keep saying that I'm strong and a great leader...I'm not strong! I'm a bad leader and a terrible hyung!"

"Who told you that?" Kangta asked. "Who told you you were a bad leader? A terrible hyung?"

Yunho hesitantly shook his head. "N-no one," he answered timidly.

"Did Changmin say something like that?" Kangta asked.

Yunho shook his head again.

"Then when gives you the right to think like that?" Kangta asked angrily. "Does that make any sense?"

"B-but...but Changmin-"

"Is coming back," Kangta finished. "Would a bad hyung spend every waking hour looking for clues on Changmin's disappearance? Would a bad hyung risk his life to save his dongsaeng? Would a bad hyung be so terribly broken up over the disappearance of his best friend?"

Yunho remained silent, having no answer to those questions. He could only stare wordlessly at Kangta as he tried to make sense of the older one's words.

"Please, Yunho," Kangta said gently after the two of them sat in silence for a couple of minutes. "We need to do this. Okay?"

Of course Yunho didn't say anything. He just started to cry harder, letting Kangta hold him tight as the two of them continued kneeling on the kitchen floor.

BoA burst in, a little too dramatically, into Changmin's hospital room, causing Yunho to look up.

She noticed the bandages wrapped around Yunho's knuckles and became desperate for an answer. Yunho's usually animated face looked dead and expressionless. 

"Hey," he greeted softly before turning his attention back to Changmin.

The maknae was asleep now. By the time he made it to the hospital, he was in extreme shock. The doctor had no choice but to put Changmin under a strong sedative. The doctor said it would be better that way. He said that Changmin would wake up feeling better.

Yunho wondered just how stupid that doctor was.

BoA slowly walked in, grabbing a seat to sit next to Yunho. "Hey," she greeted back, looking at Changmin as well. 

The two of them sat in silence for a couple of mintues. The hospital was so quiet they could hear a conversation happening between two nurses out in the hall. Neither of them had much to say; their minds were racing too fast.

BoA inhaled deeply. "Can you tell me what happened?" she asked, breaking the silence. When Yunho had called her asking to meet him at the hospital, he refused to explain further and ended up dodging all her questions. It didn't help when Kangta called a few minutes later, telling her that the duo needed to be moved out of their apartment immediately. 

Yunho swallowed. "Someone attacked Changmin..." he trailed off, taking a shuddering breath before focusing his eyes on the purple finger-shaped bruises on Changmin's neck.

"Who?" BoA asked, Yunho's answer almost catching her off guard. "Why would someone do something like this?" She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Did one of Jinsuk's friends do this?"

Yunho choked at Jinsuk's name, feeling his blood run cold. "No," he answered, still in disbelief. He remained silent, not wanting to say that man's name.

"It...it wasn't Jinsuk...was it?" BoA asked, hoping that was just her imagination running wild. She looked at Yunho with wide eyes, completely aware that he was dodging her questions again.

But his silence was enough to answer her questions.

"No," she said with a gasp. "Yunho what-"

"He broke out of jail," Yunho answered softly, already knowing what BoA was thinking. 

"What about Kyuhyun?" BoA asked in concern. "He was with Changmin. Where is he now?"

"Six doors down," Yunho answered. "He was attacked by...by him." 

BoA sighed. "He's okay, right?" she asked.

Yunho nodded. 

"Kangta said you and Changmin will be staying with him," she said. "I'll be going over to yo