Chapter 15. Vortex

“I love you. Remember. They cannot take it.”

~Lauren Oliver, Delirium

PART 1

He pushed aside the white curtains to let the morning sunbeam penetrate the room. The world looked terribly normal outside as he watched a couple of kids biking on the tiny park maintained by the hospital just a stone’s throw away from the main building. Some patients were also doing their morning walk guided by hospital staff or by their family members. He sighed, turning a heel and taking the basket of flowers on the side to replace the old ones he brought the other day.

After what seemed to be eternity for them, she was moved to a private room in the Neurosurgery Floor after three days when she fell into a vegetative state— in and out of wakeful state but no conscious response. She was also scheduled to be weaned off the ventilator and some other machines that kept her alive anytime soon. He watched her by his peripheral vision. Whenever he was there, he couldn’t help but to check her almost every second as if she would disappear from her bed. He smiled to himself remembering when his grandfather was in the same hospital and in the same state; he would put his tiny hand on his haraboeji’s chest just to make sure he was still breathing.

Shaking his head, he placed the basket of blooms on the table assigned for all the gifts and well-wishing cards for her. The basket was an assortment of sizes, shapes and colors— yellow and white camellias, creamy white gardenias, lavenders and irises; and pink, yellow and white lilies.

“You should wake up, these poor flowers need an audience,” he mumbled softly. It was still odd talking to someone he wasn’t even sure if she could hear. The hospital people said yes, she could hear, even her sister said so.

He walked to her bedside and dropped his fingers on the back of her hand, gently tapping it, like composing a message on his phone or drumming a note or two. Then he smiled as he let his hand finally slipped on her cool pale skin. “Seo Joohyun…” he whispered gently caressing her skin, “Wake up whenever you feel like doing so… there’s a world you need to see.”

The soft sound of the door opening made him withdraw from her and took a step back. It was her sister. “Doctor,” he greeted with a slight bow as the older woman walked closer dropping a hand on his shoulder.

“How many times do I need to remind you that it’s ‘nuna’ not doctor?”

He grinned answering her slight smirk, “I’m sorry, nuna.” The woman sat at the edge of queen-size bed after checking the instruments by the bedside and took the hand that he had touched minutes ago. “How is she?”

“Her vitals have improved a lot. Although we aren’t really sure of the extent of her injury but we agree to one thing that her condition is another miracle of this hospital. We are just waiting for her to finally snap out of this state,” Yuri looked up to the younger man with a sad smile, “I’m sorry about—“

Nodding slightly, he ran a hand through his hair and motioned at the door, “Anyway, I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay,” Yuri stood and hesitated for a moment before motioning for him to come closer. They hugged. She has been doing that a lot, although she wasn’t that big on hugs but lately, it felt like everybody needed that— especially her. For those passing days, she would only cry in private, where no one could see or hear her. Even if nobody was stopping her, she just couldn’t cry in front of them all.

Yuri patted his back for the last time before he walked out the room and silently closed the door behind him. Sitting back on the bed, she soothed the covers on her sister’s stomach and smile— her lips was already trembling but she cleared fighting back the tears, “Hey baby, umma’s in the house now. It took us a good deal of hours to finally convince her to get a good rest. I think she hadn’t slept for three nights already.”

She wiped away the tears half-thankful that Joohyun couldn’t see them, “A-and Appa’s on his way here. Sorry, it took as a few days to finally tell him because, you know, his blood pressure so Umma said it would be better to tell him gently… but… but there’s really no way of telling this kind of thing gently, right?”

“Ahhhh… Hyunnie… this is really hard… nobody’s ranting at me every day in the house. That’s annoying but I miss it, so you should open your eyes for real or I’m going to bury myself to work until I die as an old maid. Do you want that?” Her own thoughts made her laugh softly, “Ahhh Joohyunie, this is crazy…”

Yuri stood dragging her feet away and brushing her tears away. Being a doctor, she has seen the worst, but knowing that it was her sister on that bed with all the tubes and pale bruises on her skin made her stomach churn.  She closed her eyes as her hands dropped on the windowsill. Yuri didn’t really know what to do; she was used to all the kinds of pressure of her work and problems came easy for her but this time she was lost. Maybe a week off, while Joohyun was still in that condition, would be a good idea. Her colleagues have been telling her that but she was thinking that if she didn’t have any diversion, she would go crazy.

A soft knock pulled her away from reverie as she turned and watched the door open expecting someone she knew. And it was at least someone she knew but never expected. Her eyes widened in surprise, she stood agape until the man walked across the room and stood awkwardly in front of her.

“Yuri.”

“Op—“ she stopped as the man offered his hand, “Eujin-ssi.”

Finally, he smiled, “Yuri-ah…”

The way he said her name, the way he was smiling, the way he wore that business suit, the way he smelled, she remembered them all. Yuri nodded with a smile despite herself but didn’t take his hand until he just let it drop back on his side, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s nice to see you.”

“I cannot really say the same.”

“I know,” the man smiled. She never changed, Yuri hated pretending. “But I heard what happened to Joohyunie.”

Joohyunie. She almost gasped out loud. He didn’t have the right to call her sister that. “Yes.” She nodded instead of letting him see her discomfort of his sudden appearance. Yuri just realized that she wasn’t over that anger yet.

“Yuri-ah, I heard that you are still working.” He started when she turned away and strode to the bed looking at her sister, “Why don’t you take a break from work for awhile?”

She snickered to herself without turning, “I’m fine.”

“It seems that you don’t really want to talk right now. I guess, it’s a bad idea too… a bad timing. When I was told what happened, I came here right away to check on her. The prognosis is looking good, I checked on her reports.”

Yuri finally turned. She had this weird feeling. Why did he suddenly appear out of nowhere and even telling her that he read her sister’s files? Whatever suggestion her mind is offering doesn't really sit in well with her.

“Take a time off, get some sleep… eat… take care of yourself too, Yuri.” He smiled in sympathy despite the stunned look in her face, and then he bowed, “I better go now.”

~~~

That night their father arrived and went straight to the hospital. He looked worse than he was when he first saw Joohyun so she patted him gently by the shoulder, “Appa… why don’t you go to the hotel and take a rest?”

Taiji shook his head without looking at his eldest daughter. He has been talking to Joohyun for almost three hours, filling her stories of him and her little half-brothers back in Australia. Yuri warned him not to sound too distraught and not to cry. It was so hard but he tried for his little girl lying unconscious on that big bed. Aside from the dreadful view in front of him, the beeping of the machines and the sound of the ventilator were just too painful to listen to.

“Appa, it’s past visiting hours. You know I cannot let you stay here,” Yuri said again as she sat on the edge of the bed and held her father’s hand. “Don’t worry about Joohyun, I will look after her.” She smiled when he finally nodded.

“But give me a minute. Can you do that?”

“Okay… I’ll be waiting outside.”

When the door closed, he stood and laid his lips on her forehead, careful not to touch the faint bruise by her temple. He sat back down when he felt his chest was about to burst. His tears fell uncontrollably, “Joohyunie, it's Appa… you have to wake up now, this is killing me and your mom and your Unnie. Do you really have to make us worry like this? Umma wouldn't stop crying, do you like that? Please… please, wake up. Come back to us…”

A tear dropped on her hand so he slowly thumbed it dry. Then he wiped his own face drenched with fresh tears. He smiled and soothed the back of her hand again. It was then he saw her forefinger twitched, then again, like little spasms. 

He wasn’t really sure.

“Joohyun…” he whispered, “Joohyuna, honey?”

Then it moved again.

He gasped especially when he noticed her closed eyes seemed to force themselves to open.

“Joohyun! Oh god! Joohyun!”

He looked around and when he remembered that he was alone, he ran out and found Yuri talking to a nurse.

“Yuri! Joohyun is waking up!”

~~~

It was like being in a vortex. 

Vortices are sneaky. They are sinister. They won’t you up slowly—it would be at lightning speed, without warning. It would be too late to know that you are heading towards the danger zone. 

It would even be too late to realize it existed.

Nobody sees it coming.

She didn’t see it coming.

Seo Joohyun was being by a vortex.

Falling.

Falling.

Spinning.

Spinning.

Turning.

Returning.

Returning.

While most the kids her age were sent to kindergartens, her parents decided to enroll her in an art class. She was the youngest there. One day, the teacher told them to draw something they love so much, like food or toys. Their drawings were displayed during Parents’ Day. That day she didn’t tell her Umma and Appa which one she drew. They both stopped at her drawing and she secretly giggled especially when her Appa said it was such a beautiful drawing and that if she or Yuri would draw something like that, he would surely cry. Her Umma scolded him because she thought he was appreciating some kids’ drawing more. Then her teacher walked by so they asked which one is her drawing and the teacher said, “Oh, it’s that one.”

They were so surprised. Joohyun drew a picture of her Appa, Umma and Yuri Unnie— them, something she loves the most.

Her father’s eye glasses he would normally misplace.

Her mother’s wedding dress she and her sister would love to take turns wearing.

Her sister’s first stethoscope.

Everything… simple little things…

Their old house…

Her parents’ subtle fights…

Her Appa leaving the house…

The divorce…

He, marrying again…

Those painful little memories.

The vortex, it was her deeper and deeper; faster and faster.

No second to breathe.

Her mom’s nervous smile standing beside her boyfriend who became her husband.

Her Appa’s rowdy, happy little sons— their little half-brothers.

Her Unnie’s new job and beautiful home— their home.

Her new life.

Her new school…

Her new friends…

Shinwoo.

The stupid Shinwoo.

How he drove her to insanity.

How he made her weird like that.

How good his hugs felt. How wonderful his kisses tasted.

How amazing…

The happiness…

Shinwoo who loves sunshine and his guitar.

Shinwoo… laughing, smiling stupid, stupid Shinwoo…

Shinwoo singing nursery rhymes at a KTV bar.

Shinwoo climbing a tree…

Shinwoo crying like a girl…

Shinwoo and her invisible engagement ring…

“Sunshine, calling you my girlfriend is getting overrated; let me call you my wife…”

Sunshine…

“Come back to us…”

Sunshine…

Sunshine…

“Come back to us…”

The vortex…

“Come back to us…”

“Come back to us…”

.................................................

This is the start of Kismet Book 2: Again.

Part 2 will be posted soon!

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