Father, I said till

Death do us part

I want to mean it

With all of my heart

Help me to love you

More than I love her

Then I know I can

Love her more

Than anyone else

Standing by the isle, in front of the altar, I can see her through my eyes. Her long white wedding dress that suits her slender curvy waist, never miss to make me nervously gulp. Her chubby pinkish cheeks, eyebrows, and even her pointy nose would even make me breathless. Thankfully and I am not sick at this moment that I could seriously look at her with full views.

But as my eyes stop in those eyes, I was already being dazed. It was hypnotizing me.

Those meaningful and loving gazes is keeping me smile, never imagine that even her eyes would feel so intimidating.

When she smiles, it suddenly lightens me up. My heart, it’s jumping up and down. It almost wants to explode from the way she shared gazes on me.

With our eyes lock from each other, memories flashes before me.

“Hey! Wait… “

“Hmm?” she stops and looks at me blankly.

“You drop this?” I thought she drops this wallet, so I hurriedly stopped her by the second she left the restaurant. I was actually already staring at her side for about 2 hours now—that never fails me to realize her wallet slips off her hand.

“Oh! Thank You so much.” She smile so brightly, and I smile in return.

“Uh… Are you new here?” I asked, wanting a confirmation.

“I am… how do you know?” just as I thought, she would asked me.

“From the way you speak earlier, I thought you were lost?”

“You heard me?” she look surprised.

I was quite embarrassed. I’m sound like a stalker from the way it is.“Just ha-happened so.”

“...”

“So… do you want me to…? Umm… guide you here?” I don’t think this is a good idea, but as I thought of a stranger lost in this town, I feel like I want to help her, and guide her.

“Oh! It’s okay. I have already been asking for directions. I can take care of it.” Much to my surprised, she turns her back on me as she proceeds to walk further.

Instinctively, I caught up again on her. “But it’s better if someone will guide you right?”

She stops. And her eyes laid on me causing me to step back. I don’t get why, but as her eyes laid on me, I couldn’t help and feel this heart beating. Those captivating eyes, I was being drowned. For the first time in my life, a stranger had got me this.

She was silence, and I never know how to proceed. I thought of just retorting what I’ve just said. But as I look at myself in this situation, it’s now or never. I just thought of asking her unconsciously, it would be so bad if suddenly said It was just nothing. And she seems in deep thought after I asked her.

I wanted to avoid her stares, but I couldn’t look away. As if I am already being connected. Her eyes are like talking to me, without any verbal words. From those deep brown orbs, I could see how she wanted to tell me something.

“Umm… so?” I bravely open my mouth, in attempt for her to be snap.

“Okay… I’ll consider it.” She smiled.

“O-Okay… I-I’ll lead you.” I shamelessly responded, smiling in return.

I gulp as I came right by her side, walking along with her. Once I am already in her side, I thought of just smelling her strawberry scent, that undeniably giving me a freedom to feel her ambiance. It isn’t like this earlier, but as I walk along with her without any words, I thought of flying. Flying in heaven?

This is seriously so ridiculous. I just met her, and she’s totally a stranger here.

“So… Umm… where do you want to start?” as I wanted to give her a best company, my mouth speak to it’s known.

“Umm… to the basketball court? Can you lead me there?” she asked softly.

“Sure.”

I said with my best smile.

--

Minutes later, we arrive. She quickly suited herself in a nearby bench, and as I sat beside her. There were some players in the court which keeps her eyes in those players that were diligently working on their own. I watch as her eyes would sparkle, to every shot that a certain tan guy would do. She will even spazz if the guy would smile at her.

I couldn’t keep myself and feel so weird building inside me. As if that tan guy was only in the place exist. I was left alone in my place, just watching her giggle, scream, and would even jump in happiness.

Until the end of the game, she was still smiling to the guy. I just keep myself silence when they are already talking. Who am I to join their conversation right? I’m just a tour guide to this girl. I never know that she has a companion here. I thought of just leaving the place now, but she stops me, calling for me.

“Wait… “

I turned back, nonchalantly.

“Thanks for bringing me here.” She thanks me.

“It’s okay… it seems like you do know that guy?” all of a sudden, I ask about the guy.

“Oh, yup! He’s a friend. It’s his practice today, so I have to watch his last practice. I never know the way here, so I was thankful that you lead me willingly here.” There you go again, that smile.

“No problem. Anyway, I better go.” I quickly excuse myself, thinking of disturbing her from her ‘friend’ she has told me.

As soon as I successfully excuse myself, I feel my heart alone through my journey home. I don’t know what’s it called, but I feel like… being torn into pieces. What has gotten me? She’s only a stranger to be hold. Why am I feeling this weird thing I never know I could feel?

Sigh…

Truth is, I think her smile was just the reason why am I feeling this way. When she smiles to somebody else, it would make me feel like walking off to that place. As if, I only wanted her to smile on me?

For someone so stranger, I was being ridiculous to myself, in just a mere time.

--

Yes, that was our first meeting. And I never know that it leads into series of meetings.

--

“Omo! It’s You!” I was surprised. It’s like how many days passed when I last saw her?

“Y-yeah… so how are you doing?” I wanted to asked, avoiding her stares. Right, by this time, I can stare away from her now. It has been 2 days since I’ve last seen her, and I find myself having this dreams of seeing her. I always find myself wanting to see her, wanting to talk with her. Never know, that it could be this day again?

“Wow! What a coincidence. So are you a worker here?” she asked in surprised.

I nodded, still can’t really find a reason to stare at her.

Later then she pulled a chair and sat across me.

“So… it’s Seo Joohyun, Seohyun for short. I am Mr. Park’s assistant… New assistant to be exact.”

I look at her in surprise. No wonder…

“It’s Im Yoong.” I said, shaking her hand. She had her smile on me again, which makes me look away in an instant.

--

Weeks, months, passes… I’ve been seeing her in every works. She would be always appearing in my cubicle for every works that would our boss would like me to do. And at the same time, I would be appearing the same in hers too, to handle all my works for our boss. We do it in circle, until we got comfortable and were always been seeing at the cafeteria and outside our office.

In every break, I would be the big eater, and she would be the fewer eaters. She was more conscious on health than mine that would lead me to being sick sometimes. And what I’ve loved from our friendship was the way she would actually pay me for a visit every time I got sick. It would always feel like so heaven to me when she always wanted to do so. Of course, I would be complaining sometimes because I always see her exhaust when she does it.

And as time passes, the more I could feel myself falling. What is this feeling? I thought of just shrugging it off and just ignore it.

--

Until one of the days, this tan guy visits her for the first time; it caused me to just let it out. It caused me to just speak whatever is inside me...

--

“YAH! WHAT’S YOR PROBLEM?”

We are at the comfort room. In ladies room to be exact.

 What happened earlier was just ridiculous for me to see. The tan guy was seemingly touching her hand from to time to time. It kills me, so when she excuse herself, I followed her and she lead me into this ladies comfort room.

She was against the wall, as my hands are in the wall, cornering her.

“What’s my problem? You!”

“What?” she was baffled.

“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!” I screamed in front of her, and I got her surprised.

I’ve been holding this for a while now, and I guess this is the time for me to question this feeling I am having for her.

“What are you talking about?” she was shaking in fear as I had my eyes on her, full of bitterness.

“I can’t tell what this thing is. But I wanted know what these feelings inside me are?”

“You’re insane.”

“Insane? I think it’s more than that.”

“Yoong, let’s just—“

Just as she about to go back, I pin her back in the wall and brace myself to continue my words. “Why do you always make me feel so happy? Every time you take care of me? Every time you asked me for dinner, for lunch and breakfast. Every time you smile, you laid my eyes on me, why do I feel like my heart is beating it’s double? When our hands touches mine, I could feel an electrifying feeling, butterflies in my stomach every time you got me fluttered with your words. Why all of these things  happens? What is this? Just insane? I think it’s more than that!”. I said in a whisper.

I keep myself breathing so heavily after I’ve told her. I’m just waiting her, for her response.

But she didn’t utter any word, until a knock in the door was being heard, she quickly let go of me and hurriedly left the room.

I run after her, just to see her packing her things and left with the tan guy. Until then, I never saw her. She just surprised me when she came back, giving me a card.

--

That was 1 year ago... and Now, I’m here. Still standing in front of her, waiting for her to stop in front of me. I close my eyes and pray...

“Yoong… you look so handsome.”

My heart suddenly skips, when I heard her voice, finally.

Those soft voice, that lead me to open my eyes...

and there, she's in front with her best smile. I was breathless. She look so stunning.

"Hmm?"

I couldn't utter any word anymore and just smile.

--

To be continued…

thanks for taking time

" you "