Minho

            What were particularly irksome are the couple names fans have come up with. Granted, they don’t know of our true feelings, but it’s still irritating. I searched the engine and plugged in SHINee couples, and the second hit, underneath Jongkey was 2min. I bristled slightly. This just put us on equal footing.

            Then out of curiosity, I put in Kyuhyun and Ryeowook and got back Kyuwook. We-ell, looks like Ryeowook-hyung has more beef against Kyuhyun now. I smiled to myself and texted him. Hyung, what do you feel about Kyuwook?

            It took a while before he responded, but there was a significant amount of rage in his answer. Let’s not even talk about that… I grinned and typed back a response.

            Hyung, maybe we should hold a campaign against this. I’ll see you at SHINee dorms at four okay? Nobody will be home then. He waited until he received the affirmative and he put his phone away, pleased with himself. The war will go on.

Ryeowook

            When I got to SHINee’s dorms, I walked into Minho’s room and sat on the bed. “So, what are we going to do about it? Because I have to admit, Kyuwook is annoying. I’m older than he is, I deserve precedence. Just because he’s tall doesn’t mean anything. Seriously.” I fumed.

            As well-meaning as ELFs are, they could not possibly fathom the amount of hatred I have for that evil child. Why they would even consider putting us in a couple to ship is unknown to me. I wanted to make a public announcement, telling them that although they meant well, we were not amused.

            I sat down in front of Minho’s laptop and perused through the various fanfiction and increasingly grew more enraged. Every story with my name as a tag has either Yesung or Kyuhyun tagged right next to it. I wanted to scream. Yesung, I can live with, but Kyuhyun?

            I pointed a shaking finger at it. “Just what makes them think I have feelings for the little brat anyway? Is it my tendency to take care of my members? Gah, and the name bothers me.”

            Minho’s eyebrows furrowed as he pointed at a tag, 2min. “You know, if they really don’t want to call us MinTae, at least let it be Minmin, with me being the bigger ‘min,’ because I’m older. 2min just makes it seem so… equal.” He shuddered as if repulsed by the very idea.

            I placed my hands on my chin and looked thoughtfully at the site. “You know what, we’re going to have to create on account, and spread the word that we will no longer tolerate 2min and Kyuwook.”

            Minho looked at me eagerly. “No worries, hyung. I already have an account. We’ll start by writing multiple stories, one-shots about how much we hate the two maknaes. Hopefully it will start a new trend.”

            We sat down eagerly and began to espouse WookKyu and Minhomin.

Kyuhyun

            As I was casually checking the latest fanfiction on asianfanfics.com, I was surprised and amused to see that there was a new one, entitled, “The Eternal Maknaes.” I knew immediately who it would be. I snorted and snapped a picture of it with my phone. I picture texted it to Taemin and sat there, laughing my head off.

            He responded and asked if he could come over. When he arrived, we started to read the rapidly updated chapters of this new story. The beginning of the story told of the laments of two “eternal maknaes” who had to deal with the insolence of their dongsaengs. The story blabbed on and talked about how they were always being shipped together and how the names were wrong.

            “Oh this is funny. Hyung, look, Minho thinks we should be Minhomin. That’s so stupid. At least WookKyu is a smoother name.”

            I snarled. “Kyuwook. I am never second, never have been, never will be. I cannot express my disgust at him. What in the world is he thinking, writing this story?”

            Taemin tapped his chin thoughtfully. “If he wants to change the name, he might as well change it to Taeminho, because it’s very obvious that I’m the boss of the relationship. Gosh, how does Key stand to be second?”

            I took the mouse from him and scrolled down to the comment section.

            You two are absolutely pathetic and have nothing better to do. Rather than breaking ELF and Shawol hearts by protesting their carefully named OTPs, you should be supporting their choices instead. Writing this story is only going to make you seem pathetic. We know you’re the eternal maknae, but why do you act like such babies? Oh, this is amusing.      

                                                                                    -The legit maknaes

            Taemin looked at my curiously. “Now what do we do?” I leaned back in my chair.

            “We wait for their next update.”

Thank you for waiting so patiently! Gah, I so ships Kyuwook

It's my birthday today, so I'm mass updating ♥