“What if…What if I say I don’t love you, Hae?”

Donghae couldn’t answer that.  How could Donghae answer that question?  His lips were slowly gaped.  Once they were gaped, his lower lip quivered badly.  He felt his eyes started getting warm.  His vision was blurry because amount of water that covered his eyes. 

“Why?”  Hyukjae looked at Donghae’s eyes sternly.  “Why are you like this?”  Hyukjae asked.  His tone is as cold as his eyes.

“I…I…”  Donghae tried to talk.  When he blinked his eyes, the tears were rolling down on his rosy cheeks.

“Forget it, Hae…”  Hyukjae cut Donghae’s words. 

Donghae looked at Hyukjae confusedly.  “E-eh?”

“Pretend that I never said that.” Hyukjae’s hands rose.  He cupped Donghae’s cheeks and wiped his tears.  “Now…can you go back to your dorm and take a rest?  I need to rest too.”

“Hyukkie…but…”

“Please, Hae…I’ve said to forget what I was said before.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore…” Not now.  Not when you’re still madly in love with me.  Not when you’re still that weak.

“So…Hyukkie…”

“Hae…”  Hyukjae looked at Donghae with his pleading eyes.

Donghae stood up.  “I understand, Hyuk…I’m sorry for asking you that question.”

Hyukjae closed his eyes.  No…I’m sorry, Hae…

“Hyukkie…are we…are we okay?  Am I still your boyfriend?”

Hyukjae nodded.  Yes…for now…

“Thank you…”  Donghae turned his body, and then walked to the door.  When he was about to open the door, he turned his head to meet Hyukjae’s eyes.  “Hyukkie…”  He his lips before continued, “I won’t force you to say that you love me, Hyuk…I know it must be hard for you to say those words…Don’t worry, I’ll be waiting…I’ll be waiting until you’re ready to say that you love me…I won’t go anywhere but your side, Hyukkie…”

With that, Donghae left Hyukjae and his messed brain.

Hae…Don’t worry…Soon, you don’t have to wait for me again…

“What are you doing this time, Hyung?”  Suddenly, a familiar voice was beamed in Hyukjae’s ears.  Kyuhyun.  He was just coming from outside.

“I’m sitting…”

“Don’t act like you’re stupid, Hyung!  I know you know what I mean!  Why is Donghae hyung crying?”

Hyukjae rose from his seat and walked to his bedroom.  He didn’t have any intention to answer Kyuhyun. 

“When will you stop treating him like that, Hyung?  You always make him cry…you always make him sad…you always make him disappointed…I can’t bear watching him down because of you anymore…”

Hyukjae stopped.  His hand was on the door knob.  His eyes set on his feet.  “Soon, Kyu…Soon…You can have him when he’s done with me…he will hate me, Kyu…don’t worry…he won’t hurt if he hates me, right?”

“What??  Yah~ Hyung!  What did you say??”

Hyukjae entered his room, locked the door.  He lay down on his bed and put headset to listen songs with maximum volumes.

****

Donghae was sobbing on his room, on his bed.  He dared to do that because he knew Leeteuk wouldn’t come home tonight. 

Why are you crying, Lee Donghae…? 

Hyukjae has said to forget what he said to you…You know he didn’t mean to say that, Hae…

He loves you…He loves you like you love him…He just couldn’t say that to you…

He wasn’t ready to say that to a man…

You know he wasn’t a gay on the first place…

He was a gay because of you…He still needs time, and what you can do is giving him as long as he needs.

So, don’t cry, Lee Donghae…Don’t cry…please stop crying…

Donghae tried his best to cheer himself.  He tried his best to heal his heart.  Alone.  But in the end, he couldn’t stop crying.  He kept crying despite his mind kept telling him to stop crying. 

He slept with dump face, tears and unhealed heart.

***

Kyuhyun sat on his bed.  He couldn’t sleep.  And this time wasn’t because his game.  If he could, he would play with his PSP until morning.  But, he couldn’t.  He had tried.  But he failed.  He lost in the first stage.  It made him shouted, annoyed.  And his shouting made his roommate woke up. 

Now, his roommate—Sungmin—lay on his bed and he didn’t sleep too.  He stared at Kyuhyun occasionally to make sure that Kyuhyun was okay.

“Kyu…” 

Kyuhyun startled.  “Y-Yes?” 

“Are you okay?”  Sungmin asked. 

“I’m okay, hyung…why?”

“You look troubled, Kyu…”

Kyuhyun smiled.  “I’m really okay, hyung…don’t worry…”

“Kyu…is it because Donghae?”

“Eh?”  Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin spontaneously.  “How do you know?”

“So, you’re really troubled…”  Sungmin smiled, teased Kyuhyun.  “Want to share?”

Kyuhyun pouted.  “Yeah, you’re right…it’s because of him…But I can’t tell you now, hyung…you will hate me if you know…”

“There’s no way I can hate you, Kyu…you’re my precious dongsaeng…”

Kyuhyun thought for a while before he finally decided.  “Hyung…I will tell you, but please keep it secret from the other hyung.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Hyung…I’m in love with Donghae hyung…”

****

Morning had come.  Donghae woke up, ran into bathroom and make sure his eyes weren’t puffy and his face was fresh.  He brushed his teeth.  When he thought about taking a bath suddenly someone knocked the door.

“Donghae hyung…are you in there?”

“Yes, it’s me Ryeowook-ah…why?”

“Everyone was already here…let’s have breakfast together…”

“Okay!”

Donghae got out from the bathroom, towed his intention to take a bath.  He walked to the dining room and found that almost all his brothers were sitting, waiting for their breakfast, include Hyukjae.  He took a seat between Hyukjae and Siwon. 

“Did you sleep well?” Hyukjae asked.

“You ask me?”  Donghae pointed himself.

Hyukjae frowned.  “Who else, Hae?”

Donghae smiled brightly.  He was happy Hyukjae cared about his sleep.  “Of course, Hyukkie…and…did you sleep well too?”

Hyukjae shook his head.  “I have a nightmare.”

“Eh?  Really?  Tell me, Hyukkie…”

“Hae…”  Hyukjae held Donghae’s hand, made Donghae’s heart jumped. 

“Hyukkie…”

“Do you have schedule tomorrow?”

“I…I don’t know…why?”

Hyukjae looked around him.  Everyone was eyeing him now.  Their eyes full of curiosity that they couldn’t hide, especially Kyuhyun.  He didn’t only eye, but he glared.

“Can you cancel some of your schedules?”  His focus was back to Donghae.

“Ma-maybe I can…I will talk to Jung hoon hyung…but why, Hyukkie?”

Hyukjae took a deep breath, and then said, “Let’s have a date tomorrow, Hae…”

-tobecontinued-

first, I have to apologize to you my lovely readers for abandoning this story for a long time...I'm sorry...

I'm really busy........fan girling.  Yeah...too many donghae's pictures I need to save, too many fancam I want to watch...too many eunhae moments I want to spazz.  Oh. My. God.  I'm so busy.  yeah.  -___-

And time flies so fast...suddenly I have to go back in college next Monday.  Damn.

I hope I can post another chapter tomorrow..*pray*

bye for now...and...

any comments?