It's been a week since 'that night' with Onew. He hasn't texted me and I've haven't been trying to text him either. I've been trying to do anything to get my mind off of me but it was hard my conscious was killing me. And I was sick, I feel so horrible, my entire body hurts. That morning after walking back from in the rain and cold my throat was killing me.

I think Yubin and Sohee has a clue about what's going on but there's no way I'll tell them. I don't want them to think bad things about me but I guess they already do.

I flopped on my bed and sighed. It felt so nice to lay down, but then I still felt bad. I heard the door open and Sohee walked in with a bottle in her hand. She sat on the bed next to me and pushed the bottle towards me. I raised an eyebrow as I tried to figure out what it was. "It's medicine" she said quickly. "Hurry up and take some before Mrs. Hanna finds out"

I sat up grabbed the bottle and toke some of it. I coughed and how nasty it tasted but I guess this is better than suffering. I handed it back to her then laid back down facing the other way. I closed my eyes hoping I could try and get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping either that's how bad I feel..physically and emotionally.

"Do you want me to bring you something to eat?" She mumbled. I shook my head, I wasn't in the mood for food either. "Yenny...what's wrong? If you don't eat then you'll get worse. Did something happen with Onew?"

When she mentioned his name my body froze. "I'm fine, I don't feel well"

Sohee was quiet for a while before she said something else. "Well...alright. If you need anything just let me know"

"Sure"

I felt the bed dip underneath me and I knew she had got up and left. Maybe I can get some sleep I told myself but every time I close my eyes I always think about Onew. And when I dream and they aren't good thoughts its always about him finding out the truth and the outcome isn't good.

I abruptly sat up and groaned. Why is this happening to me!? I coughed and my entire chest felt like it was tightening up. I grabbed my phone from under my pillow and began texting him.

From: Yenny
To: Onew

I'm sorry about the other night...I just got up and left without letting you know anything...sorry :/

I pressed send and waited. While I waited, Yubin burst through the door telling me to hurry up and watch something on TV. I groaned at laid back down drowning her out by putting my pillow over my ear. She shook me quickly. "Hurry up! Onew is on Tv!!"

When I heard his name it didn't take me less than five seconds to get up. She dragged me downstairs and sat me in front of the Tv which was paused. There he was looking nice like always. And the rest of the SHINee members were seated.

"Whoaa..how did you get someone like that?" Yubin asked in awe.

I ignored her and just told her to press play. The host of the show were asking the group a series of questions.

"Another question" she began while looking at Onew. He gave her his best smile, which I loved so much. "What is your ideal type?"

"Someone who has a nice personality, respectful, truthful,  good cook and a nice appearance"

Yubin paused the TV and looked at me. "How in the hell did he even consider dating you. You don't have any of the aspects he named. Especially not 'truthful'...you're far from it" She laughed.

"I'm not in the mood today"

I walked back upstairs. Yenny what's wrong with you?

~**~

Onew didn't text me back. I texted him two more times and I even called. Was he ignoring me? I angrily  stuffed my phone back under the pillow. I can't believe he's doing this. I grabbed my phone for what seems like the hundredth time and dialed his number.

I bit down on my lip as I waited. Please answer. Before I decided to hang up, he finally answered the phone.

"Hello?"

He was still silent and I sighed. "I'm sorry..."

Still there wasn't a reply.

"Lee Jinki, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry just showing up and leaving like that. I'll try and be more considerate" I apologized. "I'm really good at this relationship stuff and I know sometimes I can b-"

I heard him sigh. "It's alright...for now"

Held my chest and let out a breath of air. I felt so relieved. I laid back in my bed before making sure no one else was in the room. "I'll make it up to you, okay?" I muttered. "I miss you, too"

I snuggled up in my blankets and sniffled. This stupid cold I thought.

"Are you sick?" He quickly asked.

I tried not to make him worry but he insisted that I tell him why. "It's nothing, just a little cold...I'm fine, okay? What about you? You don't sound so happy"

I heard him yawn, he sounded so tired. "Just..a little tired. You need to make sure you get better, or else"

I rolled my eyes and smiled to myself.

"Sorry, for interrupting your sleeping time. Make sure you get a lot of rest, or else. Good night, Onew"

He sung me a good night song before we hung up. I laid on my back and looked up at the ceiling, the butterflies were still in my stomach. Why did Onew make me feel like this? I know later regret will wash over me, but I can't seem to bring myself to tell him the truth. I just can't.

Finally, I went off to sleep, but I didn't dream about anything, surprisingly but I was kinda of relieved. The next morning I woke up and I felt better than yesterday. At breakfast, I ate a little and Sohee was happy that I was finally eating. Yubin was being an like always, she will never change. And of course, Mrs. Hanna gave me double chores today since all of this week I was half-doing my work.

After breakfast, I was washing dishes when the door bell rung. I heard Mrs. Hanna rush to the door and muttering things to herself. I wonder who is at the door. I peeped around the corner to see a lady dressed in a suit and a brief case, I guess she was someone important.

I decided to finish the dishes and just mind my business. When I was almost done Mrs. Hanna and that lady came in. "This is Yenny, she's one of the oldest girls here...I'm sure you take an interest in her"

Take an interest in me? What? The lady smiled at me then they left. I was so confused. When I finished went to go find Yubin. She was walking back inside from taking out the thrash. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side.

Before she could say anything I told her about the lady. "Hmmm...she's probably here to adopt one of us"

Whoa, whoa. Adopt one of us!? There's no way.

I felt her pat my shoulder. "Don't worry, the oldest ones aren't usually adopted, just the younger ones" that was all she said before walking off.

The youngest one, huh? The youngest person here is..Sohee. I quickly went upstairs to find her speaking with that lady. When Mrs. Hanna seen me she made me leave, telling me this was important business.

There is no way I'm letting her take Sohee away. No way in hell.

~**~

That night I finally got a chance to talk with Sohee. We went inside the bathroom just so anyone wouldn't hear our conversation.

"What did she say?" I asked impatiently.

"She wants to adopt me...I'll be leaving pretty soon"

There wasn't a hint of sadness or anger in her voice which made me think she wants to go. "Do you wanna go?"

It took her a while to answer and I was starting to get inpatient.

"Sohee you can't leave me" I muttered. "Please...if you go I won't have anyone here"

Tears were starting to well up in my eyes.

"I know but...this is what I wanna do. You'll be old enough to leave her soon but not me. And plus you have Yubin" she told me.

She moved closer to me and gave me a hug, but that's wasn't going to make her stay. "Don't cry, please. I'll make sure I visit, okay?"

I knew that was lie, once they take her we will probably never see each other again. I just can't believe she's going to leave me. "You also have Onew, I'm sure he'll take good care of you. Make sure you treat him good"

I nodded, but she didn't understand. Im probably going to lose Onew too,  once he finds out the truth he probably won't even speak to me again.

This was all too much for me to take in.

"And then I'll go to a real school, I'll have friends...a family" she told me while pulling away. "I'll be happy, finally something good will happen to me"

A real school? Family? Friends? Something we never got to experience. Mrs. Hanna hired a teacher to come in to teach us. Most of us don't remember our parents and we have friends...here at this shelter. I sighed then thought about how I should be happy for her, but I just can't.