;;;;;

His warm breath crawled over her skin as left over from the nips and kisses he’d with during the night. He held her tightly as she lie awake feeling empty of energy and tears. Not only had she ran away on impulse but she’d messed up. She shut her eyes and dug her face into the pillow.

Hours later when the sun reached the tip of the hills and the birds chirped outside, their eyes opened in the dimness of the room. Both were aware about what had taken place and neither knew how to react. She felt Leeteuk remove his arms from around her and the cold air seeped in. He sat up then glanced at the ground where their clothes lay in a ruffled mess and at the door where her shoes had been randomly thrown.

She sat on the bed later in the morning and watched as Leeteuk slipped a shirt over himself. From the way he looked at her she knew that he didn’t know what to say to her. Had it all happened only on impulse?

“You might cry your eyes out, or you might want to drown yourself in the waters, or you’ll want to run away on two feet.”

Taeyeon wanted to laugh in spite of her foolishness. How could she have let those words get to her? The words that spoke of the burden she’d feel after finding out their past. She was too naïve.

The suitcase sat on the ground staring back at her with mocking laughter. She got up a second later.

“It’s still early, no one’s going to be up, so I’m going to leave first.” Taeyeon told. “To my room.”

She shot him a small sideways glance before exiting the room. After going into her room she headed straight for the showers and this time let hot water run over her.

At breakfast she was unable look up at anyone and had been the first to excuse herself. Heading down the front doorsteps she remembered rushing down them just last night. She put her hands up to her head and shook her head.

When she opened her eyes she saw a shadow standing ahead of her. As a light wind floated by she looked up to see Changmin looking at her with a smile lighting his face up.

;;;;;

Instead of chasing her out Leeteuk had gone back to his room. The bed looked like someone had strangled it. Moving the pillows aside he fixed the bed covers and tossed his blanket back onto the bed. However, a light tick of something falling against the headboard caught his attention. Leaning over the pillow he recognized a gold necklace. The lucky charm Changmin had given her.

;;;;;

“Morning,” he greeted.

Taeyeon felt dumbfounded from just staring at him in surprise. She hadn’t expected him to come by at all.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“To apologize.”

“For what?”

“Yesterday. You looked shaken up.”

“I…”

“Of course, you weren’t.” Leeteuk’s voice rung in the air.

They turned to see Leeteuk standing behind her.

“What do you want?” Changmin questioned, uneasiness in his voice.

“Just to return this,” Leeteuk told grabbing Taeyeon’s hand and placing the lucky charm in her palm. A confident smirk grew over his face. “Someone left it in my room last night.”

Taeyeon’s eyes grew wide and Leeteuk laughed.

“Just joking.” he said then he turned to Changmin. “What business to do you have?”

“Psh,” Changmin snorted. “You’re really good with your act.”

But seeing Leeteuk hand Taeyeon the necklace bothered him.

“Are you done?” Leeteuk asked. “Cause I have some business with the lady in wait.”

Leeteuk glanced at Taeyeon, who stared back at him.

“Goodbye,” Leeteuk grabbed Taeyeon’s hand holding it firmly as he led her back into the mansion.

Changmin watched them leave wondering what had happened between the two of them.

;;;;;

“What are you doing? Let go!” Taeyeon ordered as Leeteuk led her down the hall, to the kitchen, and outback to where the pool was.

Closing the screen door behind him he turned to look at her.

“Lets talk.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re too much of a coward to initiate it.”

Taeyeon stared at him with a frown but no anger in her.

“What do you want to say?” she turned away from him rubbing her arm.

“Last night…” he started.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Taeyeon interrupted quickly, “I’ve thought it through.”

“So quickly?” he asked. “You must have a good brain to have thought about it so fast. I thought maybe you would be uncomfortable about it.”

Taeyeon ignored him. “We were confused, we were lost, and we just wanted some affection.”

“Are you talking about yourself?”

Taeyeon didn’t remove her eyes from him.

“I wasn’t drunk, I wasn’t confused, or lost like you. Yes, I did want some affection but that’s not the whole answer.” Leeteuk stated. “I like you. You’re always on my mind. Don’t tell me you’ve been blind to it?”

Taeyeon easily removed her eyes off his face and to the ground.

“And tell me. Why did you want to know about me?” he started. “It seems you know me much more than I know about you.”

She remained distant.

“Don’t you think you owe me a story about yourself?” he wondered crossing his arms then looked at her even more closely.

She almost felt uncomfortable by his unbelievably long stare.

“That gash on your side. Is there a story behind it?”

Taeyeon looked up at him startled and moved toward the door but Leeteuk blocked her by standing in front of it.

“That or the story about us spending a night gets out,” Leeteuk threatened, “I know it would harm you more than it would me.”

Taeyeon gritted her teeth.

;;;;;

“What happened yesterday?!” Yoona shouted.

“It’s all thanks to you. You’re always bringing trouble,” Siwon told her off after finishing his cup of coffee in one of the game rooms.

“Did anybody get hurt?”

“Luckily, no.” Siwon told. “If you don’t tell Changmin to back off I’m afraid that the three of them won’t have a happy ending.”

“What?” Yoona asked. “You want me to what?”

The triangle relationship Changmin, Shin Ae, and Leeteuk had had when they had been young plagued his mind. Siwon was afraid to think that Leeteuk and Changmin were going through the same situation again.

“Do you know something, oppa?”

“I don’t.”

;;;;;

Leeteuk waited for her to go on. She did look like she was having a hard time time-traveling. Maybe it really was something she wished to keep hidden. Leeteuk felt a bit sorry for pushing her but if he didn’t threaten her she would never say anything. He wanted to know about her. How she’d grown up after her sister died. How her life was. He wanted to know more about her thoughts, her feelings.

“You might pretend not to know me after you hear my story,” Taeyeon told. “Will you hurt me after you find out? Or what will you do?”

“I haven’t heard it so how do I make a decision? Is this your way of pressing me to be scared?”

Taeyeon stared at him and smiled a little. He couldn’t read her so he didn’t know what her smile meant.

“I didn’t have what you had while growing up. My mother didn’t devote her time to me nor did my father. My dad practically lived in the hospital and my mom at the attorney’s office, so I grew up alone and isolated in our big house. I became rebellious. I’m not those kind of girls who doll themselves up in the morning. Instead I live on the black side of the world. You wouldn’t want to get close to me if you saw me. I was really evil.

“I jumped kids. I threatened them for money even when I had a stash of cash in my bedroom. You know where all that went? It went to the booze I drank and the cigarettes I smoked. What a beautiful sight for a girl huh?

“My parents lied to me and abandoned me in Australia. The real world I experienced there showed me the world isn’t so beautiful after all. You know who I lived with for 5 years? My homeless uncle. I lived in a cardboard box.”

Taeyeon’s voice seemed to tremble with a kind of anger and hatred that Leeteuk hadn’t known before.

“I was mugged and I mugged others in return. I starved and stole food to survive or I ate leftovers on the street. There were times when I had to be on the run from gangsters. There were other times when I was hunted down like a dog. There were many times I ran for my life because of my pathetic uncle. Because of him I gambled illegally and when we lost, we ran. They came after us with a knife and the gash you wanted to know about, that gash you saw is a reminder of that incident.

“I lived at school in the morning and by afternoon I lived on the street. Everyday for 5 damn years I ran relentlessly and fought for myself. So you see, that’s why I don’t need a friend like you. Not now, not ever. I’ll never get used to this kind of normal life everyone else lives. Because for as long as I’m alive , I’ll still have nightmares about everyday I lived there!”

Taeyeon was stunned with silence when Leeteuk, without warning, pulled her toward him and clutched her tightly.

“You’re a coward,” he whispered. “Do you really think that just because of that I’ll pretend not to know you? Where do you get your ideas from?”

Taeyeon pressed her lips together.

“If you die, I wouldn’t follow you.” he told. “Because I’ll make sure I die before you do. So when you come up, I’ll be the angel to lead you to heaven.”

It was cheesy but Taeyeon felt touched. She relaxed against him and smiled slowly hugging him back.

;;;;;

He was worried. For some reason he felt over-worried. Changmin stared out the window in his room trying to put what he understood together. If his mother had told Taeyeon something the other day what would it be that had shaken her up so bad? He had no idea and that was where he was stuck. His mother, of course, would not let him in on it. She had so many things hidden that he didn’t quite understand. What more did she have hidden from him than just the secret that she’d purposely made a scapegoat out of him? Was it really that bad? Something that would seriously wound him? He couldn’t make anything out of it.

Nothing made sense. Nothing ever made sense. But perhaps there would be a person who would answer him. His father. He had never spoken to his father about the past before. His father was a quiet and reserved man so Changmin had never thought of questioning him before. What a brilliant idea it seemed.

;;;;;

Taeyeon had been ready to sleep. After a long shower she found herself standing in front of the mirror checking out the gash on her side. It was ugly. She allowed herself to slide back into the memory and recalled the man that had caught her. It was painful and had cost a lot of blood. She’d fallen into a deep fever right after and was not sure she had survived. For days she remembered laying on that cardboard shivering with just no more than a t-shirt on. Passersby tossed money at her and snickered as they walked by. She survived because of the money.

Pulling her shirt down she walked over to her bed ready to drop into sleep when she heard a knock at the door. Who would visit her at this time of night? Opening the door she discovered no other than Leeteuk, who was smiling at her.

“What are you…” she started but stopped when he pushed his way in locking the door after him.

Leeteuk looked around casually as if it were any other room he’d ever had and jumped into the bed.

He looked back at her, “Spend some time together.”

“Get out,” she demanded.

“Awww…come on,” he cooed getting up.

Taeyeon frowned at him and felt him wrap his arms around her then tossed her onto the bed along with him. She let out a loud shriek as they landed on the soft cushion. Lying on her side glanced at his eyes shyly and their eyes locked. With a free hand he pushed aside her hair to get a better look at her face.

“Lets just cuddle all night long.” he suggested.

“You sound like a girl.”

“How so?”

“Asking to cuddle.”

“Is that how you feel?”

“No, because I’m a man.”

They burst out in laughter then became silent. She felt mesmerized by his long gaze. During that second she wasn’t sure about what was going to come next. He inched toward her and gave her a long kiss on the forehead. His body resonated a deep warmth as they lie there silently. After a minute Leeteuk turned with arms locked around her and Taeyeon found herself looking down at him, her loose hair falling over her shoulders.

“Wha…” she started.

“Your turn,” he smiled, “now give me some affection.”

Taeyeon found herself laughing at him in a teasing manner and she gave him a light peck. He smiled again and tossed her under him. She glanced up at him feeling their legs brush against each other. His stomach on hers, his chest on hers, he was directly lying on top of her. His hand brushed her cheek and Taeyeon felt a lump in . She lifted her head up when he had made a notion to kiss her but the kiss didn’t come.

“Yah!” she shouted at him realizing that he’d only been teasing her.

“Just kidding,” he told before kissing her twice.

His lips were tender and Taeyeon found herself immediately liking it. She wrapped her arms all the way around his neck pulling his face down closer to hers.

“So what are you going to do,” she started, “if tonight we end up with a ‘you know what’?”

“Do you think it’d happen?” he placed his nose against hers.

“Do you think it won’t?” she asked.

“If it does,” he said purposely tickling her.

She laughed and squirmed underneath him. “Stop!”

“Then I’ll just be responsible for you.”  

He pulled the blanket over them and Taeyeon ran her hands along his back as his mouth moved against her skin. He pulled his shirt off and held her under him in a way that made Taeyeon’s adrenaline rush. And in seconds they had lost themselves. Their bare skin rubbed against each other and their hands moved as if they’ve never touched anything like each other before. When he nipped her neck Taeyeon would reach for his face and kiss him again and again. Her heart raced when their mouths slid against each other and their tongues touched. He smelled so good as he breathed on her with his chest heaving.

It was almost hard to separate, to breathe against each other. The room grew misty and hot with sensation as he moved on top of her. She felt her tense legs wrap around him and in that moment he entwined his hand with hers. In a way it felt like he was telling her everything would turn out just fine. It felt like she could read his heart. The night grew longer as if purposely increasing the time for them to be together.