;;;;;

Changmin had caught up to his uncle but had lagged behind on purpose. They were now walking alongside the road underneath the shade that the looming trees offered even if there were barely any cars that came by. Staring at the monk’s back Changmin tried rummaging through his thoughts for any reason to why he’d wanted to go to the mansion. But, obviously, no clear answer came to him. Suddenly stopping in his footsteps Changmin wanted to go back to the mansion. Taeyeon was obviously still not well, but why was she up? He almost turned around to walk back but felt a hand on his shoulder stopping him. Turning his back to the mansion he turned to see his uncle.

“Where are you going?” his uncle questioned.

“I’m going back,” Changmin replied.

The monk turned away and sighed then turned back to him, “You shouldn’t go.”

Changmin watched him silently.

“You might get hurt if you go,” the monk reasoned, “so don’t go.”

“Why would I get hurt?”

The monk sighed again. “Changmin, your mother is waiting for you back at home.”

Changmin searched his uncle’s face for any answer. “Is there a reason why you became a monk 12 years ago?”

His uncle did not show any signs of hesitation or surprise by his question. “No.”

Changmin still kept his concentrated eyes on him. There was something his parents had always been hiding. Other than the strange activities that went on he didn’t know the reason behind any of it. His mother was always so unreasonably strict and his father had become more cautioned than before 12 years ago when Leeteuk’s parents stopped staying at the mansion for summer vacations. Of course, his memory wasn’t blocked like Leeteuk’s and he recalled even the boating incident. But he’d been told to keep it all of a secret from Leeteuk. It wasn’t until one summer when Teuk’s parents were visiting grandma did he know why.

Leeteuk had looked lost while taking a stroll down the road away from the mansion that hot summer day. The heat had been unbearable and the sun had continued pounding on the blackened roof above his home. Unable to take it anymore Changmin had gone out for a walk. When Changmin had seen him he’d wanted to welcome him with a big high-five, but instead he’d been tackled onto the cement by Teuk. Teuk swore angrily, punched him, and the two of them rolled together on the cement until Changmin had broken Teuk’s front tooth. And those words that Teuk had said to him never left his mind. It made him feel awful and he wasn’t able to eat until a week later because of the gloominess his friend had left him with.

It was a misunderstanding that had made Teuk hate him and what was even worse was that Changmin had no way to resolve it. He’d been told by his parents that Teuk had forgotten his childhood and Changmin had no right to speak about it. He had no way of proving himself innocent in front of Leeteuk and therefore he’d never spoken about it. And now nothing had changed. It was still the same.

An over-worrying feeling suddenly overwhelmed Changmin before he abruptly turned back toward the mansion. Even though it was huge the thick trees blocked even the mansion itself from view. He glanced down the road as if he’d sensed that something happened. His uncle’s hand suddenly landed on his shoulder with a strict grip as if to pull him back if he tried running.

“You can’t go to her.” his uncle stated.

Changmin felt a bit surprised that his uncle knew what he was thinking. But quickly shaking the thought off his head he decided he had to worry more about why his uncle wasn’t letting him go.

“You shouldn’t stop me.” Changmin reasoned.

The monk sighed again. “I said you can’t go to her. She isn’t your story, Changmin.”

Changmin spun back to look at his uncle. “You wouldn’t know that.”

“Go home, Changmin. This is the last time I’m warning you right now.”

They stared at each other rashly. Changmin walked out from under his uncle’s grip and walked down the road toward his house.

;;;;;

Where was everyone? It was as if they hadn’t notice that he’d gone missing. Or maybe his existence to them wasn’t significant anyway. Taeyeon sat next to him toward the side of the wall almost calmed down. His shoulder was consciously cold and wet in the meek silence.

“Well, I guess that’s what you get for trying to be a man.” he told himself quietly in his mind.

With knees drawn up to her chest she glanced at the wall ahead of them. Leeteuk turned to glance at her then turned away.

“I haven’t been inside this mansion before,” Leeteuk began, “if I have before then it’s something that I don’t remember.”

Taeyeon didn’t reply.

“My mother often forbid me from coming here,” Leeteuk told, “they were strict about me coming here. So it’s the first time that I’ve come here.”

“We all know that.” Taeyeon’s now quiet voice said.

“You’re the first person I’m admitting this to anyway.” Leeteuk said then turned to her. “We’ve never officially introduced ourselves huh? Then should we get to know each other better? You can become my chingu.”

“Chingu?” Taeyeon repeated.

“Chingu, as in friend.” Leeteuk clarified.

Taeyeon slowly turned to look at him. Her eyes were still red and she still looked tired, he felt almost sorry for her.

“Name: Park Jungsu, 24 years old. But I’d rather you call me Leeteuk, I’m more popular by that name,” he smiled. “Your turn.”

“Kim Taeyeon, I’m 23,” she nodded as if embarrassed.

Leeteuk smiled at her again, “Why’d you choose to come here of all places for summer? I heard you dropped your summer class to come here. It might have been better for you to have stayed back.”

“At first, I just wanted to find out why you wanted to bring a bunch of us here with you during summer break,” Taeyeon began after a long moment of a pause. “But it turns out it’s nothing interesting. But now that things are like this…I do want to go back…but even if I do I won’t be able to reenroll into class. It’s sort of a waste.”

Leeteuk recalled telling everyone about it in the basement of the dorm. Should he feel bad?

“Do you still want to go back?” Leeteuk asked. “I’ll take you out of here.”

Taeyeon allowed her eyes to glue themselves onto his face. She felt tempted to leave. If he offered she didn’t want to let this chance go…but she couldn’t just leave. She’d come with Yoona.

“No.” Taeyeon said with a shaky voice. “Not until we all leave here.”

Leeteuk turned away finally relaxing his back against the wall.

“You once asked me about the shades of grey.” Taeyeon said. “What do you mean by shades?”

Leeteuk thought for a long while. “Did I say that?”

Taeyeon waited for a better answer to come from him.

“I can’t remember.”

Taeyeon eyed him as if he were bluffing her. “Were you talking about the variation in colors?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I was using it as an expression to talk about how emotions can change. When young I used colors to express the feelings I couldn’t show.” Leeteuk explained.

“Are you playing with me?” Taeyeon asked.

“You don’t believe me?” Leetuek tried. “But I guess it also makes sense you’d think that way since we both barely know each other.”

Taeyeon didn’t say anything.

“My memory has never been clear,” Leeteuk continued, “all memory of my childhood is gone. It’s up here.” he pointed to his head. “But it’s not letting me recall anything.”

“How come?”

“A boating accident.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Haven’t you ever thought about trying to find your memories back?”

“No. My mom probably doesn’t want me to, that’s why she keeps an eye on me at all times.”

“Why? I mean why doesn’t she want you to regain your childhood memories?”

Leeteuk shrugged, “You don’t seem so shy anymore.”

Taeyeon turned away after realizing she’d been looking at him the whole time.

Leeteuk smiled in a way as if he was holding back his laughter. “What about you? How was your childhood like?”

Taeyeon, this time, didn’t dare to turn to him.

“I’ll tell you next time. Should we go join them outside now?”

Leeteuk glanced at her curiously before he got up slowly and turned to look at her before turning back to walk forward. When he took half a step he felt her take a strong grasp of the sleeve of his shirt. He turned to look at her surprised.

Taeyeon turned her gaze to the ground. “I don’t want to walk behind you.”

He couldn’t find any words in his mouth, so he just smiled at her.

;;;;;

“Thanks.” Taeyeon quietly said after stepping out onto the deck.

Turning away from Leeteuk she headed down the trail toward Yoona, who was sitting alone. Gyuri and Siwon was nowhere in sight when Taeyeon reached the table. Her eyes seemed dazed and in a way it looked like she was concentrating on something. When Taeyeon quietly reached the table Yoona’s eyes averted from the ground she’d been inspecting in slow motion. Once her eyes landed on Taeyeon she could see that Yoona looked extremely tired, maybe even more tired than she’d looked when Leeteuk and Taeyeon had first found her. The red veins in her eyes were so visible Taeyeon didn’t know what to say at first.

“Are you ok?” Taeyeon asked after a second.

“U…unnie…”

“Yes?”

Taeyeon’s whole body felt numb.

Yoona’s lips quivered before she was able to say, “I’m tired…”

Taeyeon’s tense body suddenly felt free and she took a deep breath. “Ok.”

When everyone had filed inside for some warmth Taeyeon had hesitated about whether they should bring Yoona back to her room and in the end they did. While Gyuri sat at the bed to cool down Yoona’s sudden fever Taeyeon stared out the window that gave a view of the backyard.

She’d been running Leeteuk’s words over in her mind. A boating accident had caused his mind to block some memories from his consciousness. What kind of memories was it that his mind did not want him to recall? Were they really awful memories? Why did his mother forbid him from coming to the house, and now all of a sudden allow him to stay here with a bunch of friends? Why was Leeteuk suddenly allowed into the mansion? Was Leeteuk connected to the mansion in some way? Or was he connected to the people here? If so, where does Changmin fit in? And the picture she saw at his house…who were those people she saw? And who was it that had been removed from the picture itself? Why had someone removed it?

After dinner and when night fell Yoona’s fever had gotten worse. Gyuri, who had been studying to be a nurse, said Yoona may have pneumonia.

***Short chapter, but I thought I should sitll update with what I have so far.