;;;;;

“You lose!” Taeyeon’s voice rang in the air.

“No way!” Leeteuk shouted tossing the cards onto the floor. “You cheated! I can’t take this. Lets start over.”  

“And let me beat you again.” Taeyeon smirked gathering the cards before her and shuffling them.

“Whoa! How many times have you done this before? Even I don’t know how to shuffle like that!” Leeteuk exclaimed watching her hands skillfully mix the cards up into a neat stack.

“I learned…” Taeyeon paused. “It’s a secret I can’t tell.”

With a smirk she divided the cards equally among the two of them. Of course, it was a secret she didn’t want to tell because it was something she’d learned from gambling in Australia. Her horrid past no one needed to know about.

“Unni?” Yoona appeared by the doorway.

“Uh, yea, what’s up?” Taeyeon questioned but the look on Yoona’s face told her otherwise.

Yoona cautiously glanced at Leeteuk and Taeyeon knew she needed to step out.

“Is something going on?” Leeteuk wondered getting up after Taeyeon.

“No. It’s fine. I just need to borrow her for a minute,” Yoona faked a smile.

Down the hallway Yoona came to a small stop.

“Changmin’s here.”

At the front doorsteps Changmin waited with hands in his pockets. He looked cool, charming, and handsome. But to have come must mean he was unhappy about something. Those thoughts flushed through Taeyeon’s uneasy mind when she pushed herself out.

“You’re here?” Taeyeon said.

He turned to look at her with a mild smile that didn’t mean much. Had he found out something? Taeyeon was almost afraid to hear what he wanted to say.

“I’m going to be leaving in an hour.” Changmin informed her.

“Where are you going?” Taeyeon asked her voice weak.

“Somewhere far…but why,” he sounded less angry than curious, “don’t you sound a least bit sad?”

Taeyeon wanted to scold him but what good would that do when she would only feel worse afterward? Chiding him or Leeteuk out at the moment would make her feel guilty for hiding so much from them. In only one day she had become so afraid of being the cause for removing the smiles from their faces.

“Should she be sad when a jerk is leaving?” a voice asked from behind Taeyeon.

She spun around to find Leeteuk standing there and in that moment she began to panic. Two young boys who had been wrongly turned against each other could only hate each other more, not become friends.

“Don’t kid yourself,” Taeyeon told herself silently, but it had been something she’d feared. Seeing the two of them stand in front of each other and fight.  

Changmin stared back at Leeteuk with a small glare.

“What are you doing here? Telling her off? If so, you should just give it up.” Leeteuk continued.

“Then should I be telling you off?” Changmin challenged.

Leeteuk felt a glare form on his face.

“I,” Changmin began, “only came here for one thing.”

Leeteuk watched as his eyes moved from him to Taeyeon.

“What did mom tell you?”

Taeyeon felt her jaw tighten. Leeteuk frowned at Taeyeon then glanced back at Changmin with the same murderous glare.

“It was nothing,” Taeyeon hopelessly lied.

“Do you think I believe you?” Changmin asked. “When you were hurting, when you looked so emotionally ill the other day? Do you think I didn’t see it?”

Taeyeon felt Leeteuk look at her.

“Be quiet,” Taeyeon demanded her eyes becoming still with anger.

If he said anymore she was afraid Leeteuk would hear about everything else. She was afraid of hurting them both right on the spot.

“What in the world did she tell you?” Changmin’s voice became louder.

Taeyeon stared back at him hard. “I’m not saying it.”

Changmin stared at her for a second then walked toward her, grabbed her arm, and turned around leading her down the road. In her heart she wasn’t angry with him. In her heart she knew he was a good guy. He was someone, she understood, had always been hurting as a child. If she could, she would change everything for him but she couldn’t because she didn’t know how to. And because there was Leeteuk standing at her back.

“It’s something about me, something that would hurt everyone.” Changmin muttered as they began walking away. “That’s why my mom’s forcing me to leave. Before you tell everyone about it.”

“Let her go,” Leeteuk shouted finally catching up to them.

He grabbed Changmin’s wrist with a threatening stare. Taeyeon stared at him worried about how far their argument could go. She didn’t want to witness another bloody battle between the two of them.

Changmin looked at Leeteuk’s hold on him then up to his face. Their eyes locked.

“What are you doing?” Changmin hissed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Leeteuk tried.

“Cut it out, the two of you,” Taeyeon heard her meek voice warn.

However, the two boys did not hear her or heed her warning. Changmin suddenly let her go and in that moment she felt Leeteuk fly backward. Coming to a quick halt Leeteuk jumped back at Changmin mercilessly. They wrestled on the road and got back up to their feet.

Before her she saw two 12 year old boys fighting each other because of a misunderstanding neither of them knew about.

“In order to preserve Leeteuk’s happiness I made Changmin the scapegoat.”

“As my son he’ll also bring my sins with him to his grave.”

“He’ll never be able to achieve the kind of happiness Leeteuk will.”

Taeyeon felt helpless tears well up in her eyes. She knew about everything but was powerless. Leeteuk…Changmin…Leeteuk…Changmin….Leeteuk or Changmin? Rushing forward Taeyeon pushed them apart from each other and stood between them. Changmin on her right and Leeteuk on her left. Her gaze remained on the street they were standing on.

“What are you two fighting for?! Why are you two doing this?!” she shrieked. “Neither of you are right or wrong! You two don’t know anything!”

Changmin and Leeteuk panted and stared at her. They started for each other again but a voice interrupted.

“Stop it! The two of you!” the three of them turned to find Siwon, who was standing at the end of the drive with a frown on his face. “What’s gotten into you?!”

Leeteuk dropped his fists and glanced back at Changmin.

“Are you two adults or children?!” Siwon scolded staring at the two of them in front of the front doorsteps.

Leeteuk and Changmin shot sideway glances at each other.

“It’s not their fault…really…” Taeyeon started from the side. “It’s not their fault.”

Both Changmin and Leeteuk stared at her.

“So…you go on home.” Taeyeon looked at Changmin. “Your uncle’s going to be here soon.”

She watched him stare back at her. He didn’t smile his usual smile like he would always do when she wasn’t feeling well. This time he wasn’t trying to comfort her or lift her spirits up.

“I’m not going, you know that.” Changmin said. “I’m still going to find out what you know.”

Siwon’s face lit up with surprise and he turned to look at Taeyeon who ignored him. When Changmin disappeared around the drive Leeteuk turned to the two of them.

“What was that?” he bellowed. “You met his mother? What did she say to you that got that idiot so worked up?”

Taeyeon only stared back at him unable to spite back at him.

“Just leave it Leeteuk,” Siwon cautioned.

Leeteuk’s stare softened at her and said, “Don’t apologize to me anymore.”

With that she watched as he walked into the house.

“What do you know?” Siwon asked.

Taeyeon glanced at him as if he were something dangerous.

Siwon heaved a loud sigh, “Look, don’t think too much about it.” he gave another sigh. “I hope Leeteuk’s mother returns soon. I’ll see you inside, alright?”

;;;;;

Gyuri paced back and forth in her room putting things together in her mind. The only thing that seemed to be off was Zhoumi’s behavior. She couldn’t find an explanation behind that except for something that went beyond her limits. The possibility that he was getting possessed.

“That’s kind of crazy,” Gyuri shook her head.

Those kind of things had never happened to her before and Gyuri had never worried about the spiritual realm. That’s one reason why she felt so clueless about everything else that was going on. But Leeteuk and Taeyeon seemed to be dealing with everything just fine. Yes, Taeyeon was the one who’d been experiencing most of the trauma. Gyuri decided against going to her but then something also clicked at the back of her head. What if Taeyeon knew something?

Before dinner Gyuri found Taeyeon sitting alone in the living room staring blankly out of the window. Her chin had been absentmindedly resting on her lower arm as she leaned against the couch. She sure did look like she had a lot of things running through her mind. From afar she looked like a lost girl waiting for her parents to come pick her up at the train station.

“Can I talk to you?” Gyuri broke the silence.

Taeyeon slowly turned to look at her and turned in her seat. “Yes?”

“I had been wondering some things. Many things.” Gyuri started without taking a seat. “I don’t know if it’d be a bother asking you.”

Taeyeon waited for her to go on.

“You know with the things happening,” Gyuri went on, “is there some things about it that you know?”

“What?”

“I’ll say it straight out. I went to the third floor yesterday,” Gyuri continued, “Zhoumi’s acting out of the ordinary, and I know you’ve been bothered by most of the things going on. So, I’d like to know how much you know about everything.”

Taeyeon remained silent feeling her stomach drop inside.

“You’re close to that boy next door, so I’m assuming you might know the most about these things,” Gyuri said.

“I don’t know anything,” Taeyeon found herself standing up.

Gyuri looked up at her confused, “Hey, I didn’t mean anything offensive…”

“I’m know.” Taeyeon blinked her eyes endlessly as she looked around.

She did look lost.

“Is something wrong?” Gyuri wondered.

“No. I’m sorry.” Taeyeon rushed out of the room.

Gyuri stared after her puzzled. Had Taeyeon always been that strange?

;;;;;

Taeyeon found a second later that she’d locked herself up in the bathroom. The sink caught her eyes for a moment, she plugged it, and reached for the faucet. When the water had filled it to the top she turned the faucet off and held herself under the water.

“You might cry your eyes out, or you might want to drown yourself in the waters, or you’ll want to run away on two feet.”

Her words ran painfully in Taeyeon’s head. When her lungs cried for air she finally backed up and let out a loud gasp, almost coughing for air. What was she doing to herself?

At dinner she had no appetite. In the shower she scrubbed herself with cold water. In bed lie awake. Her mind was a mess. Then she understood. What she’d learned had become a burden. Seeing Leeteuk and Changmin had become a harsh reality.

Suddenly getting up from her bed she the light reached for her suitcase, opened it, and began to toss her clothes in. It was a move on impulse. During that moment she felt that she didn’t deserve what was being thrown at her. The burden…she didn’t need to deal with it. She’d gone through enough already and she didn’t need to feel anymore horrid pain.

Minutes later she was already on her way downstairs.

;;;;;

Leeteuk had been sound asleep. His bedroom had been the first door anyone would see when walking down the hallway. He was awoken when his door creaked open. Wondering what was going on her lifted his head from his pillow to see that no one stood there. Instead he heard footsteps in the hallway and something heavy trailing after. For the first time he’d felt curious. Getting up he headed down the hallway and rounded the corner to see Taeyeon heading out for the doorway.

He felt confused and couldn’t make sense of what she was doing in the middle of the night. She put on her shoes, opened the door, closed it behind her, was gone just like that. Lost Leeteuk followed her without slipping his shoes on and found her walking down the drive with a box behind her. Leeteuk frowned then realized it. It wasn’t a box. It was her suitcase. Where was she going?

“Taeyeon!” he screamed after her.

He watched her pause then continue quickening her pace.

“Kim Taeyeon! Stop! Where are you headed?” he shouted still going after her.

A few seconds later Leeteuk found himself only 5 steps away from reaching her and when she did they fought against each other. She threw her arms at him but he caught them before she hit him.

“What are you doing?” he managed to say after gripping her arms tightly to stop her from moving.

“Leave me alone!” Taeyeon shouted hopelessly struggling against him.

“You’re running away?” Leeteuk asked looking at her suitcase. “You think doing this again will really get you out of here?! Why do you think I always chase you down?”

Taeyeon stared at him silently searching for words in her mind but none came. Before she knew it he was tugging her down the street heading back toward the mansion. She found her legs going up the steps and down the hall into Leeteuk’s bedroom where he closed the door awaiting her answer.

“You’re running away?” Leeteuk laughed. “Who do you think you’re kidding? Didn’t you say before that you’re going to stay until everyone else leaves? Are you a hypocrite?”

Taeyeon only stared back at him.

“Or is it because of that fight this morning?” Leeteuk asked. “We’ve fought before. It’s only natural we use our fists to try to silence ourselves.”

“You’re right,” Taeyeon shut him up. “I’m a coward. That’s why I need to leave. I can’t keep my words.”

“What is with you?” he questioned.

Taeyeon didn’t say anything.

“Are you troubled by something?” he said.

She didn’t reply.

“Then lets change something,” he suggested, “stay. Change your reason for staying. Stay for me. Can’t you stay for me?”

Helplessness. Self pity. Trouble. Taeyeon felt a tear arise in her eye and it dropped when she tilted her head up locking her lips with his. They kissed for a long time. His hand ran through her loose hair and he kissed her even more intently. Short thoughts ran through her mind as she felt the room burn with sensation. And in minutes she felt his bed underneath her. Why had she pushed Changmin away when she hadn’t bothered breaking up the kiss with Leeteuk? She didn’t know. She was lost.