He hadn’t gone swimming for such a long time that he almost forgot how to keep himself afloat. Keeping his feet moving back and forth in an organized pattern he was able to keep his head above water while he reached for her. When he finally pulled her head out he glanced at her face that had suddenly gone white. Turning away feeling them both freeze he hurried toward the edge and finally managed to pull the both of them out. She felt like a block of ice and worst of all she was too light.

“Taeyeon! Kim Taeyeon!” he shouted slapping her face lightly.

She didn’t respond. How long had she been underneath water? Ever since he walked away from the table last night? Feeling panic spread through him he didn’t know what to do. What if she was dead? Shaking his head he ran over the steps of how to give CPR he’d learned in school in his mind. He had to revive her. Gosh, he would have paid better attention if he knew he’d really have to do it some day. Panting himself he parted her lips with his hands and tried blowing some air into her then quickly pumped her chest without much thought. He felt deeply embarrassed but it wasn’t time to allow his face to turn red. Repeating the steps and counting in his mind Taeyeon suddenly began coughing so hoarsely that he wondered if he’d been too rough on her. He watched her turn onto her side then push herself up still wheezing horribly. Her loud coughing suddenly sounded like loud sobs before he felt her squeeze his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white. Suddenly feeling her head against his shoulder he wondered if she was crying or thankful that she was still alive.

How long had he been stuck outside? Through the life saving process he felt tired already. The rush of steps behind him caught his attention before he turned around to see Changmin rushing toward them.

“What happened?!” he questioned worried and alarmed.

Leeteuk glanced at him and turned away. He didn’t want to see him. Suddenly struggling to get up with Taeyeon still holding onto him he turned to look at Changmin, who he’d always been seeing with Taeyeon.

“Take her, will you?” Leeteuk questioned monotonously.

Without a word Changmin picked Taeyeon up in his arms, but her hand still remained clutching onto his. Leeteuk glanced at Taeyeon to Changmin then to her hand on his before forcing her grip off. When she finally let go Leeteuk watched him carry her into the house.

Heading back into his room to change into dry clothes he slipped his shirt off and reached for a new one. Pausing he stared at the wall before him. Why had Taeyeon gone into the pool? Had she been crying or was that just a severe cough? Shaking his head of worries he put on the shirt and changed into sweats before walking out. As he headed down the hallway toward the living room he heard a commotion from the top of the steps. As he’d expected the others were now up and moving about.

“What happened?”

“Drowned!”

Junsu’s voice was the loudest. Turning away to walk away he paused and looked up the stairs again. Glancing at each one of them at the top he noticed that Gyuri, Siwon, Yoona, and Seungho were no where in sight. Where were they? Recalling Changmin’s words about fevers last night he walked up the stairs.

“Leeteuk!” Jang Hyuk called. “What in the world happened?”

When Leeteuk opened his mouth to speak the door opened and Gyuri stepped out. Changmin, who had been leaning against the side of the door attentively, quickly turned.

“I helped her change clothes but she’s still so cold,” Gyuri said weakly, “what should we do?”

“She could be burning up with another fever,” Changmin told, “is there any medicine in the house?”

The rest turned to look at Leeteuk as if expecting him to know the answer. All he could do was stare back at them clueless. Leeteuk wanted to tell them that he didn’t know, but the mood that the situation was spreading told him not to say it.

“I’ll go look,” was what he ended up saying before going down the stairs.

He rummaged around the cabinets, the shelves, the drawers, almost everywhere in both kitchens before he found some medicine sitting in a small organizer by the sink. Walking back up the stairs he heard Zhoumi’s voice first.

“Why won’t you talk about it?” Zhoumi asked. “Did something happen when you fell in?”

“How did you fall in the first place?” Jang Hyuk questioned.  

“Something happened,” Zhoumi stated as if he knew Taeyeon had seen something. “Your face is too pale, you look like you’ve seen something die.”

Taeyeon turned away from them so that her back was to them. “Just leave me alone.”

“Don’t say anything more, will you?” Gyuri said crossed armed as she saw Zhoumi begin to retaliate and Junsu eye him unhappily. “We don’t need to start this messed up day by arguing.”

Leeteuk took this moment to step into the room to find that Changmin was no where in sight. The rest stared at him heavily as if waiting for him to clear up any misunderstanding they had. Leeteuk ignored them. What was he supposed to do? What did they want him to say?

“Why didn’t you bring up some food for her, too?” Gyuri asked.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Leeteuk replied.

“Never mind. I’ll go find something for her to eat,” Gyuri told walking out of the room.

Jang Hyuk watched her go them stood back from leaning against the wall, “I’ll go find something to eat as well.”

Zhoumi silently followed him after glancing at Leeteuk and Seungho after. Leeteuk stood near the door unsure of what to do and what to say to her. Her back faced him coldly and he wondered if she knew he was there.

“You up?” he asked then felt like hitting himself. Why would he ask that when she was obviously up?

Taeyeon didn’t reply but he saw her move underneath the blanket Changmin had so carefully tucked her into. Slowly she pushed herself to sit up and he finally noticed that her hair was still soaking wet. No wonder she was still cold. He didn’t want to imagine how cold the room felt to her, it made his bones feel tired.

“Would it matter if I leave?” Taeyeon asked.

Leeteuk just silently kept both his eyes on her. The room was too pink for him. Taeyeon didn’t look very girly to him and he wondered why she’d chosen the room in the first place.

“Why?” he asked.

Should he have an opinion?

Taeyeon clasped her hands before her and entwined her fingers over each other tightly, “I don’t want to stay here anymore. Could I call a cab or could you drive me back? We can stop by Incheon and I’ll get a train ticket back to Seoul.”

“Yoona wouldn’t want you to leave.” Now why was Yoona his excuse?

Taeyeon was quiet for the first few seconds before she fully turned showing her super pale face. Leeteuk stared at her before he turned away then looked at the ground.

“Look, I know I was a bit mean last night,” he started. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking for your apology,” she stated. “I just want to get out of here.”

Leeteuk swallowed his saliva in the mere moment while planning what to say to her next. Her eyes suddenly shifted to his left and he turned around to see Changmin standing at the door. Taking a sigh he wondering what kind of situation he was in. Walking over to Taeyeon he handed her the medication along with the glass of water. He didn’t want to talk to Changmin or be in a room alone with him. Leeteuk also did not want to get embroiled into an argument with Taeyeon while she was lying sick in bed. Turning around without wavering his eyes he walked out.

Stopping in the middle of the hallway he turned to look back. Gripping his hand in memory of Taeyeon’s cold clutch he walked the rest of the way toward Siwon’s bedroom. Knocking on the white door he listened for any noise inside but when he didn’t he tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. Opening the door with a quiet creak he found the room dark but lit up by the sun ray from the curtain covered windows. The bed to the right was where Siwon was still sleeping.

“Siwon?” Leeteuk called.

Siwon didn’t reply so Leeteuk made his way over and leaned over the sleeping Siwon to find him still knocked out. Had he really given them a hard time yesterday when he’d gone missing?

“Siwon, wake up,” Leeteuk called again.

Siwon mumbled and opened his tired eyes, “What are you doing?”

“It’s already 10. Get up.”

“I have a headache, leave me alone.”

“Are you sick?” Leeteuk questioned after a moment of silence.

Siwon didn’t reply but had gone back to sleep.  

;;;;;

Taeyeon remained deeply silent as if she were to be guilty about something. Changmin came over and took the bottle of pills from her. Taking the cap off he shook out two small pills onto the palm of her hand and stood back waiting for her to eat them.

“I threw out the food from earlier after I found out they’re making something for you to eat downstairs,” Changmin explained as if she needed to know. “So eat your medicine and get some rest before heading down for breakfast.”

Taeyeon didn’t look at him but swallowed the pills down with the water Leeteuk had given her. He took the cup from her and set it down on the dresser.

“If you want to leave you shouldn’t need to ask,” Changmin said breaking the silence a moment later. “It looks like you’ve been having a rough time. You can talk to me if you want to. Or if you want to go out and have some fun I can take you around, too.”

“I almost died, right?” Taeyeon said almost quietly.

Changmin stared back at her, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there when Teuk saved you.”

Crouching down beside the bed so that he was closer to her he looked up into her pale face before reaching for something around his neck.

“This has been my good luck charm ever since I was a kid,” he said holding the gold necklace with a shiny gold star out for her to see. “I always felt that it brought me luck. I hope it’ll give you some luck too, so don’t get hurt or sick anymore.”

When she didn’t make a move for it he leaned forward to put it around her neck. This time she felt as if she were leaning directly on his broad shoulder and it felt as if she were able to smell in his scent. It was nice and masculine even though it lasted only for a moment. When he sat back she could feel herself gaze into his eyes forgetting everything that had happened that morning.  

He smiled so brightly Taeyeon literally felt something glow within her.

“I’m going to go home now. My mom will be wondering where I am, so go to sleep for a bit, ok?” he said so softly that Taeyeon’s mind felt so blank she couldn’t think of anything.

She watched as he got up and headed out of the room feeling a slight regret to see him go.

;;;;;

As Leeteuk headed down the stairs and down into the hallway he passed Gyuri, who was walking up the stairs with a bowl of rice curry in her hands. Heading into the kitchen he found the others sitting around the kitchen table with plates of food in front of them. The sight seemed so different to him that he felt as if the house keeper had come in to cook.

“Leeteuk, come join us? Where’s the others?” Jang Hyuk questioned.

“Siwon has a cold, so I think they’re all sick,” Leeteuk replied sitting down.

“Wow, isn’t that great? And I thought this was supposed to be summer.” Junsu sarcastically commented.

Leeteuk served himself and ate quietly.

“I was wondering where you all were,” a voice said from the kitchen entrance.

They all turned to see the tall Changmin standing there.

“Are you hungry?” Zhoumi questioned.

Changmin smiled and Leeteuk immediately turned around with no more wish of seeing him anymore.

“I’m about to leave,” Changmin told. “Enjoy yourselves.”

“Be safe!” Jang Hyuk called after him.

Hearing no more of his voice Leeteuk listened to his footsteps disappear down the hallway waiting for the front door to open and close. When it finally did he picked up his spoon again and continued eating.

Gyuri returned down a few minutes later declaring that Yoona, Seungho, and Siwon were out cold and that Taeyeon was growing another fever.

“Gosh, if I knew coming here was such bad luck I would have rather returned home to garden,” Gyuri said loud enough for them all to hear as she sat down at the table.

They ignored her.

“I want to go home too,” Junsu sympathized.

They ignored him too. Leeteuk finished eating in silence headed into the living room to enjoy some TV. The others joined him quietly. Through the window they could see the puddles leftover from yesterday’s rain as well as the gloomy grey clouds overhead. The fat clouds floated by one after another and practically the sun had remained hidden behind them for hours.  The leaves on the trees and bushes swung back and forth with the breezy wind. Having had enough of the waters and the cold Leeteuk had no wish to step outside.

When a commercial break came on Leeteuk left the room hearing the others begin to talk behind him. Not interested in what they were snickering about he walked toward the stairs and stared up the steps.  

“Are you feeling guilty?” Yoona’s words floated around in his mind.

Where exactly had he gone yesterday? Leeteuk found himself trying to dig into his mind but nothing came to him. Why was it always like this? That he was unable to recall anything at all? Frustration slapped him in the face. This was always why everyone thought he lied. His memory had been blocked for as long as he could recall. No memories of his childhood, he could only recall his teenage years, why? How old had he been at that time? 7? 8? ? His mother had talked about a boating accident to him when he was 14 before his father finally left to go overseas and only returned home during holidays. Something must have happened then, but he was never able to figure it out. Why were his parents’ relationship cold when they still remained married to each other? What had happened in his childhood? Just before he could indulge any further into his wonders he heard something from atop the staircase. Returning to reality he squinted his eyes as if it would help him get a better view. He saw nothing at first then it slowly began to appear. Something misty white moving in the air before Taeyeon’s scream entered his ears.

***So something happened between Teuk's parents, as well, in his childhood, but he can't remember any of it.