Taeyeon felt a gasp escape as she grabbed onto the head of the chair for support in the kitchen. Her legs became weak, her energy drained, then her brain came back to life.

“Where’s Leeteuk? Where’s Leeteuk?!!!” Taeyeon screamed.

“W…why? He went out this morning, remember?” Yoona recalled.

“Find him! We have to find him!”

“What’s wrong?” Yoona sounded scared.

“Calm down. Take a deep breath and explain to us what’s going on,” Siwon told setting the bucket of fish down on the kitchen floor.

“No time. Let the others know. We have to find him this instant.” Taeyeon said then burst out of the kitchen.   

;;;;;

The sun was cowering behind the clouds when the door opened, but for some reason it still blinded him from where he was standing.

“Where is this place?” Leeteuk asked stepping down the stairs toward the wooden docks that prevented the water from becoming too high and flooding the house.

“It’s…someplace I know,” Shin Ae replied.

“Do you stay here?” Leeteuk asked.

Shin Ae shrugged, “I drift in and out.”

“Huh?”

Shin Ae smiled, “Nothing.” She continued forward and stepped over the dock placing her feet into the cold water. “Come on. It’s shallow over here.”

Leeteuk nodded, but glanced back. The house was a light blue with gray roof tiles and two windows facing the woods. A plain house, indeed.   

“Leeteuk!” Shin Ae called again.

Her voice sounded distant.

;;;;;

Taeyeon raced through the shrubs, down the small hill, and ran toward the cabin. When she opened the door she found it empty inside. Before turning away she wondered if this was the cabin where that girl had discovered Woo Young and Changmin’s mother. The place where she got beaten.

Returning to the road Taeyeon ran all the way past Changmin’s house. The lake…the lake with the tall tree. Leeteuk might be there. And in Taeyeon’s brain she was praying that he would be there.

;;;;;

“What are you looking for?” Junsu questioned following Gyuri down the hall.

He watched as Gyuri swung each door opened and walked into each room looking around as if searching for a hidden item.

“Hey, are you listening?” Junsu called out.

“Haven’t you wondered at all,” Gyuri started, “why we’re told to not go to the third floor when there’s not even a doorway that leads up to the third floor?”

“She’s old. Maybe she forgot that there’s no doorway.” Junsu assumed.

“Can’t be,” Gyuri said. “It’s hidden somewhere.”

Turning around she walked pass Junsu and head to the next room. Junsu followed her.

“And why are you looking for the third floor?” Junsu asked. “It holds no significance to you.”

Gyuri turned around from where she stood, “There’s a reason. Some reason…some strong, strange reason why we aren’t allowed to go there. And there’s a reason why it’s hidden so well.”

“Then why do you bother looking for it? To find out the reason?”

Gyuri paused, “No, because now after I assume you weren’t lying there’s something here that something wants us to know.”

“You believe me?”

“That’s not the point here,” Gyuri told walking pass him again.

Junsu didn’t hide his smile as she walked pass. He followed her to the next room.

“It won’t be an easy open, easy see,” Junsu told.

Gyuri turned around, “What?”

“Think about it. Like you say if it’s hidden for some strong, strange reason then it won’t be easy to look for. You think that if you just open a door you’ll find stairs leading you up to the third floor?” questioned Junsu. “It won’t work like that.”

Gyuri took his words into thought, “You’re right.”

As she hurried pass him Junsu grabbed her arm lightly stopping her.

“What?” she questioned a little aggressively.

“Are you that nervous that you want to keep walking pass me and opening those doors?” he asked.

Gyuri felt speechless unsure about what he’d just said. She felt herself fall loose when he kissed her and she responded immediately. His arms climbed around her hugging her tightly while her arms traveled all the way around his neck. She could hear her body calling for more but her mind didn’t want anymore. Pulling away with half her arms still around him Gyuri loved the smell of his breath and the moisture he’d left on her skin.

“I don’t want this,” Gyuri told removing her arms and stood back gritting her teeth.

Without waiting for his response Gyuri began to head down the hallway when she heard loud footsteps. It was as if someone were in a hurry. Around the corner Yoona appeared panting looking panic stricken.

“What? Is something wrong?” Gyuri questioned hurrying toward her.

“We need to search for Leeteuk,” Yoona replied out of breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, but something is wrong. Taeyeon just headed out 5 minutes ago,” Yoona started.

“Where’s Siwon?”

“He and Seungho are getting a head start on the search. I was looking for you and Junsu so we could go together,” Yoona explained. “Where’s Zhoumi?”

“Junsu’s with me, but…we should leave Zhoumi behind.”

“Wha…” Yoona stopped then nodded. “Lets not waste time.”

;;;;;

He wasn’t there. If he had been there before she’d left he’d left no trace. Taeyeon spun around toward the road running and just running. Where could Leeteuk be? Of all the places she knew…

“Jung Soo and his wife also had a daughter. They came up regularly during the summer with invites from Soo Ae and stayed nearby in a blue watch house by the creek.

Taeyeon slowly stopped in her steps. Watch house….the creek…

There was a certain place Changmin particularly enjoyed going to. If she followed that river and that river led to the creek…would it? There was a possibility…

Taeyeon rushed toward it feeling her might run loose. Reaching the garden of flowers she ran alongside it to find that her luck had dissolved. It was leading nowhere.

“Where are you?” Taeyeon wondered putting her hand up to her forehead.

Looking beyond the river she saw a field of golden cattails stretched across it like a field of rice. The golden cattails shimmered in the afternoon sun, shimmered in the afternoon sun? Taeyeon frowned and jumped through the river water coming to the other side. Golden cattails shimmering in the afternoon sun? She had to be kidding herself. Luck was on her side after all.

;;;;;

“I’m coming,” Leeteuk told hurrying toward the edge.

Once he reached the dock he couldn’t help but glance down into the water to find that it seemed deeper than she had claimed. He could see nothing but layers and layers of water underneath the water.

“Are you sure you can go that far?” Leeteuk questioned.

“I’m fine! Hurry up and join me!” she shouted.

Leeteuk glanced at her again and down to the water. Slowly removing his shoes and setting them aside Leeteuk first placed his feet into the water feeling goosebumps travel up his legs and to his arms. It was cold…how in the world did Shin Ae manage to swim all the way out there without any trouble at all? And she didn’t look a least bit cold.

Glancing down at the water he imagined absurd looking fishes swimming underneath. Would any of those fishes eat humans?

Gulping Leeteuk jumped into the water to find that he had to tiptoe in order to keep his head above the water. Shin Ae lied. The water was deep.

She swam over and reached her hand out to him. Leeteuk grabbed it and she pulled him farther out.

“You swim?” she asked with that smiling never disappearing.

“No…I haven’t…for a long time I haven’t.”

“Are you lying? You were pretty good when you were saving your friend.” Shin Ae told.

“What?” Leeteuk questioned confused.

“I’m just kidding!” she giggled.

Leeteuk felt his heart beat a little faster then a little slower. Shin Ae suddenly turned around and put one arm over his shoulder. He could feel her cold hand on his back. She was beautiful…her features were so beautiful. Her eyes were so big, too. Leeteuk felt himself fall underneath her spell as she slightly closed her eyes for a kiss. However, before she kissed him he felt himself plunging underneath the water.

Cold air surrounded him. He couldn’t move but he opened his eyes to find that he was alone. Desperate to get above the surface he uselessly moved his hands and his feet around. And yet, he didn’t move from where he was trapped.

;;;;;

As Taeyeon neared the creek she couldn’t sight anyone but a blue watch house. The blue watch house where Jung Soo, his wife, and his daughter used to stay. The vacation house. For a moment she really doubted if Leeteuk would really be there. Out of breath Taeyeon skimmed the area glancing at the creek water teasing her that it would jump ashore and get her wet. Before she turned around one thing did catch her eye after all then she knew she’d been right. Leeteuk’s shoes were set on the dock, but he was no where insight…meaning only one thing…

Taeyeon’s heart pounded in fear, in panic. The water…no way.

“No way, no…Leeteuk! Park Jung Su!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “Leeteuk!”

She cupped her hands around desperately. No one showed…no sight of Leeteuk. Could he be in the blue house? He would be. She’d see him open the door and walk out wondering why she was there. He would walk out…but he didn’t. The shoes on the dock were clear. Taeyeon wasn’t stupid.

“Leeteuk!” she shouted once more feeling desperation climb over her.

What was wrong with her? After the story she didn’t know how she felt. But she felt terrible for both Changmin and Leeteuk who were just puppets in their parents’ hands. They were victims…

Without bothering to take out her cell phone she jumped head first into the creek and dove underneath. Leeteuk had to be somewhere. If it wasn’t too late before he would float up to the surface she’d see him somewhere under the water.

How long had she been swimming in the water that shook her skin cold? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? She dove under and came up again. No sign of Leeteuk. Was there no hope that she’d find him?

“Leeteuk!!” she cried.

No one answered her. Only her echo came crying back.

“He’s here…somewhere. I know he’s here. Let me find you before it’s too late,” Taeyeon self talked.

She dove under and spun around holding her breath for as long as she could. And just then she saw it. It looked like a glow at first then it became clear. Leeteuk had been hidden underneath the dock that stretched the farthest out from the watch house. He was hidden underneath the shadows. Without going up for more air Taeyeon increased her pace feeling her muscles ache from the strenuous stress she was giving them.

“Not until I reach you, don’t give up,” Taeyeon prayed.

Leeteuk looked as if he were sleeping, dreaming a peaceful dream. His arms floated at his sides and his head sort of cocked backward. Reaching for his arm she pulled him toward her and put her arms around him pulling him up to the surface. Cold air shocked her stunning her for a moment. She pulled herself onto the dock first then reached for Leeteuk and dragged him up onto land.

“Please be alive, please…” she bent forward on her knees with her ear against his lips hoping for some sign that he was alive.

But…he didn’t budge. No breath.

Taeyeon shook her head.

“Live…please live,” she begged.

“My only chance of saving myself, in order to preserve Leeteuk’s happiness I made Changmin the scapegoat. No one said anything. Out of grief Jung Soo and his wife left and never came back. Woo Young and Soo Ae…whether they knew my intentions or not, did not say anything.

“Why make Changmin the scapegoat, you might ask. I’m his mother, I sinned, as my son he’ll also bring my sins with him to his grave. As my son he’ll never be able to achieve the kind of happiness Leeteuk will. And until I die I will make sure Soo Ae and Woo Young never find out that the motor accident was just an accident.”

Changmin’s mother did not understand. No one was happy. Even Leeteuk’s mother was not happy but living a delusional life because everyone had lied to her. Leeteuk would never be happy as long as he did not retrieve his memory. If he and Changmin weren’t allowed to know some truth to their past they would never, never be happy. Neither of them would be able to achieve happiness if the other didn’t achieve it.

“Live…please breathe. We can all fix this together,” Taeyeon pleaded pushing against Leeteuk’s chest and giving him CPR. “Come back! Leeteuk!”

Taeyeon didn’t know if it was the water on her face, or the water dripping from her hair, or if she were really crying. She needed Leeteuk to come back so she would be able to solve everything. Give everyone the closure they needed and give the girl, who had died, peace.

She continued pushing against his chest desperately. Out of strength Taeyeon just sat beside him, her shoulders limp, her arms lifelessly slung by her sides, clueless about what to do next. She didn’t know…she wasn’t someone on an emergency team who went out to save people’s lives. She wasn’t a nurse or a doctor like her parents, who were so great. She was just Taeyeon…Taeyeon, who didn’t have a future.

Then something entered her ears. Leeteuk’s coughing. Her eyes widened when she turned back to look at him. Water poured out of his mouth like a fountain and Taeyeon smiled, her laughter muffled with small wracking sobs. She grabbed him and held him against her chest.

“Leeteuk! Leeteuk!” she called his name over and over. “Oh my God! Thank you, thank you for living!”