Jaejoong’s POV :

 

Yeah I got their attentions alright. To say that they were shocked was seriously an understatement. They were still freezing solid even after five minutes.

 

If I wasn’t used to it, I would’ve smacked them in the head.

 

I turned around and looked at the scene of sunrise in front of me. It was exquisite. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the morning breeze. I let out a huge depressing breath. Despite all the thrill and excitement, I couldn’t help but had a huge doubt growing inside me. I wondered if I was doing a right thing. I wondered if Yunho really worth the risk of getting molest or abused again. I wondered if I would ever find someone to love me for me.

 

They both probably finally snapped out of their trance. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Yoochun murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“So um like what? You’re not gonna hide anymore?” Junsu asked.

 

“I’ll stay hidden, it’s just that I’m going as someone else.”

 

They looked at in confusion but didn’t say anything. They gave me the floor to speak and tell them everything.

 

I proceeded to tell them everything the truth. I trusted them with my life and didn’t even try to cover up my feelings for my husband. I told Junsu and Yoochun everything about Yunho. Everything from the moment we agreed to get married to what happened last night. About our plan to get a divorce after the company was his , all about how judgmental he was, my little trip to the grocery store, our conversations during meal and all the little things.

 

Also about the nightmares – and the kiss.

 

Of course by that meant I have to tell Yoochun my worst experience – the day of the murder. Junsu knew about the nightmares as I did occasionally have them, though it has been almost a year since I last had it.

 

The nightmares were similar but not always in the same way.

 

Yoochun just squeezed my hand so hard that I didn’t even think that he noticed it. He didn’t say anything through the entire time. Junsu was always a softie and understood how talking about my parents could hurt me like nothing would. He tried to keep his tears at bay but locked his eyes with mine , never looked away as if he dared me to blame myself for everything that happened.

 

To tell the truth, I did. For a long time up until now, I couldn’t stop playing ‘what ifs’ in my head.

 

I shook my head countless times during my story-telling to prevent me from getting carried away. But I could not help but to picture it. Could not help but to remember it.

 

After a while, we sat down in silence. All three of us were so deep in thoughts.

 

Yoochun broke the ice as he vowed to do anything to make me happy and keep it that way. Junsu nodded in agreement while wiping his eyes dramatically. I smiled at them, forever grateful for having such wonderful friends.

 

I remembered the real reason for waking them up way before dawn. I needed their help.

 

“So, um the reason why you are here is I want you to help me at the prom.”

 

“Yeah right, the prom. So what is your plan?” Junsu asked, clearly excited.

 

“It wasn’t detailed yet but I’m going as a girl.” I said, beaming so brightly at them.

 

They looked at me incredulously. Yoochun let out an uncomfortable laugh.

 

“Is this some kind of a joke? Well cousin, it’s so funny that I forgot how to laugh.” Junsu rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah Jae. You are undoubtedly incredibly ridiculously wonderfully beautiful. But you have to admit, that is absurd.”

 

“Are you flirting with my cousin, Park Yoochun?” Junsu looked at Yoochun with something in his eyes that I could not detect what.

 

As Yoochun opened his mouth to answer, I cut him off, “I’m going as my cousin – the love of his life. As someone Yunho claimed to love.”

 

Yoochun was visibly pale. He looked as white as a ghost and I was positive that his skin felt so cold like the dead. “You don’t mean..”

 

“No. Not Junsu.” I quickly denied. I looked at Junsu and said, “Remember that Yunho once asked me about the baby picture in our living room? I told him that she is my cousin, right? Well, the three of us knew that the baby was me but he doesn’t. He thought that the baby was my long-lost cousin. He thought that the baby was a girl. Well who wouldn’t. As you said, I’m beautiful neither handsome nor hot.”

 

“And he loves her? Just by looking at a picture of a baby? Is it just me or he was actually a e?” Junsu said, clearly not believing it.

 

“It’s true. He said the same thing to me. He was so captivated by the beauty of the baby. He told me that he couldn’t help it but felt a tug in his heart. He seemed serious about it.” Yoochun said.

 

I frowned. All the more reason for me to believe that Jung Yunho only cared for looks.

 

“Then, what is your point?” Yoochun turned to me.

 

“I’m going to make Yunho realize that he feels something for me – that it is me he loves, that he could fall in love with someone just by knowing from the inside. I’ll make him see that he is capable of loving me – the real me. Call me crazy but I really think that he does. I’m just too ugly for him to see it – yet.”

 

“You’re gonna get hurt, Jae..” Junsu said hesitantly.

 

“I know. If.. If he is not going to realize it ever, I guess we are just not meant to be. We’ll get divorce in six months and that just it. When the time comes, whatever the consequences are, the girl he loves is not going to stay forever.” My voice was so soft that I thought Junsu and Yoochun might not hear me. But I know they got my message.

 

They said nothing and I didn’t expect them to.

 

“Whether Yunho knows the truth or not at the end, it won’t matter. I’ll be through with him.” Those words came out of my lips and I didn’t even realize it.

 

I was so deep in my thoughts when, “You’re gonna need s Jae.” Yoochun joked, tried to break the tension. I knew he was uncomfortable with all these – after all Yunho was his best friend.

 

We laughed briefly as the bell rang, marking the beginning of the school period.

 

I was starting to put down my bangs when Yoochun held out his hand and touched my face, “You’re ing beautiful, you know that right? Too bad my best friend was an and undeniably dumb.”

 

I chuckled nervously and wore my glasses. “But not beautiful enough to love me?” I joked.

 

“What can I say? I’m hooked to that bubble and squeaked voice.”

 

We laughed together. I wondered what would it be for me to fall in love with Yoochun. It would be much easier. Then I knew why. “We can’t choose who we fall in love with.” I said, didn’t notice that it was out loud and Yoochun heard me.

 

“Yeah. You are just like an angel Jae – inside and outside but you’re not Junsu. It would be great to be in love with you but it will never be perfect. And I’m not Yunho. We will never make it through.” Yoochun voiced out his words and I was surprised that he could read my thoughts.

 

We smiled at each other and it felt so good that I had someone I could lean on. I would be forever grateful with Yoochun and Junsu in my life.

 

Speaking of Junsu, “Are you guys coming? We don’t have forever. And I hate those stupid private moments between you two.” He growled at the door leading to the staircase.

 

“We’re coming duckbutt.” Yoochun said – laughing. “Do you think he’s jealous?” He whispered at me, eyes full of hope and glee.

 

“Knowing my cousin, I know so.” I replied. I was so happy for them.

 

We were still chatting and joking around when we reached the floor to Yoochun’s class . Mine and and Junsu’s was at a floor below. We saw Yunho coming up the stairs. Looking at him, I could not help my eyes to wonder at his lips.

 

Damn! He was a one hot and marvelous kisser. I wondered what would have happened if gave in to our lust. We would have christened our marriage.

 

I shook my head briefly.

 

Act normal! Act normal! Here he comes.

 

Yunho’s POV:

 

As I climbed on the stairs to my classroom, my mind was still reeling on the last night’s event. Damn the kiss was hotter than the one at the church. I couldn’t believe how incredibly aroused a nerd could make me. I nearly creamed on my pants.

 

Justin very early in the morning and I thanked God for it. I didn’t know how to face him. It would be so awkward and I didn’t think I could handle it. Just when everything was going to be okay between us, the uncomfortable aura was back again. I sighed deeply.

 

I was just nearing my floor when I saw the trio. I gulped nervously.

 

Did Jae say anything to them? If he did, they must have thought badly about me. After all, I did think and say pretty nasty things to him.

 

“Oh hey Yun.” Yoochun greeted me just like he always did. I breathed out in relief. Maybe Jaejoong didn’t kiss and tell.

 

The irony of that statement.

 

Junsu smiled at me genuinely, “Hey Yunho. How was it to be a husband?” he grinned.

 

I looked around and satisfied that no one heard him. I narrowed my eyes at Junsu and said with the lowest voice I could muster, “Thank you for the public service announcement but will you keep it down? I- I don’t want anyone to know.” I glanced at Jaejoong as I said that. “And maybe Jaejoong doesn’t want it either.”

 

“Yeah Su, we agreed to keep it low. Hey Yunho.”

 

“Hey .” I shifted uncomfortably.

 

“So we’ll see you at lunch?” Yoochun asked Jae and Junsu. I was so glad he said we. I wanted to spend time with Jaejoong too and I hoped we could get things passed between us.

 

“Sure. But uh is it really not a problem? I really don't want to get into troubles with your em – fans.” Jaejoong said, looking at me.

 

I remembered the incident he got with Yoona and her fellow maidens. I sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Junsu and Jaejoong nodded and we parted ways.

 

A month has passed since our wedding.

 

After the kiss, we managed to get back to being comfortable around each other and got closer than ever. Jaejoong explained to me that he had a nightmare that night and apologized for coming into my room just like that. I assured him that it was okay and I really didn’t mind. I meant it when I said that I would be there for him - whenever.

 

In the past month, there were a few times he would sneak into my room and cried softly while holding my hand. I let him. We stayed like that in the dark for a while. He stayed on the floor beside my bed and I never offered him to come up. I was afraid that I would lose control. Kissing him was one of the best feelings I’ve ever felt and it was absurd. I couldn’t help to think how ridiculously it was for me to love it. This was Kim Jaejoong and I’ve never seen someone so .. physically unattractive as he was.

 

However, I couldn’t deny how comforting it was to know that I could be there for him even though there was nothing I could do. When he sobered up, I would caress his face and wiped his tears. I loved the feeling of his skin and I wondered how he looked like everytime. I tried to picture his looks but I was no artist. I just couldn’t imagine it. By now, I was used to the structure of his face and I would easily detect him in the dark if I was to touch his face.

 

I was on my way home, driving in my Audi R8 from my parents’ house when my cellphone rang. I glanced at the screen and it was Jaejoong. Unconsciously I smiled as I picked it up.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey yourself. Where are you? I thought you said you would be back at five?” he asked me.

 

“I’m on my way now.”

 

“Oh you’re driving? Why are you picking up the phone? You shouldn’t be..”

 

“On the phone while you’re driving. I know dear. But I don’t want my wife to worry if I don’t pick it up.”

 

“. I’m not your wife. I’m a guy.” He scolded me though I can hear him smiling from the other line.

 

It had become our private joke. At first I was just trying to make it up to him by acknowledging his status in my life but only when we were alone. I stressed out that it was just a joke, not wanting him to have his hopes high or anything, but nowadays, I was used to it. I liked it when I can joke around and called him pet names.

 

I sighed. I just wished he was pretty enough for me to be proud of out in public. I wished his appearance met my standard.

 

“Yun? What’s wrong?” he asked. I guessed I got carried away with my thoughts.

 

“Nothing. So what did you girls did while I was out?” I smirked knowingly. I knew he was with Junsu, doing homework just like a good nerd student.

 

Again, I just wished he was not a nerd.

 

“Finished up our project for Mrs Lee’s class. He just left. And we are not girls.”

 

I laughed. “I’ll be home in 20 minutes. Want me to stop by and grab anything for dinner?”

 

“No need. I’ll cook ..”

 

I didn’t hear anything else as I heard a loud shriek at my left and I saw a car speeding into me.

 

A silver Volvo car was what I last saw before I felt the impact. Jaejoong’s voice was lost to the sound of the hiss of the tyres over the smooth tarmac. I barely had time to scream before the airbag knocked me back and sideways. The car tumbled over and over into the central barrier before coming to an absolute stop.

 

I couldn’t remember anything else aside from Jae’s constant call of my name from my phone. I could hear him crying so hard and screaming my name from the total silence around me.

 

He must’ve been so worried. He must’ve been so scared for me.

 

He must’ve.

 

Jae ..

 

And unconsciousness took over me.

 

---

Hey !

Sorry for the hours late update . It's the weekend and I tend to wake up late on weekends . Doesn't everyone ?

But I didn't break my words to update daily . 

So here's an update :)

 

And here's a request ;

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU GUYS GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW YOU WANT YUNHO TO DISCOVER THAT THE GIRL SHE LOVES IS ACTUALLY JAEJOONG. 

As time passes, I find that my original idea is a little bit off track hehe . Well, it was years ago when I came up with the idea.

You can send me a message instead of a comment. Well, don't want to leak it out if I decided to use it xD

I will seriously consider your ideas and thank you so so so so much in advance.

And so , what do you think of the new chapter ? If you read Forever Mine, you would know how much I enjoy dramas xD

So yeah , untill the next post :)

*****

P/s : If you noticed , I've changed the foreword because it was off tracked xD