Seoul, 3 August 2024

 

"Ireona! Ireona! Appa, umma, ireonaaa~" I feel like I'm waking up to an earthquake. "Mommy, wake up, please," Little Miss I-Speak-English showers my cheeks with kisses. I curse my husband in my head. This is all his fault for promising to take the kids out to the mall today. It's Saturday, I'm so tired, and I just want to sleep in. As a working wife and mother, it's a luxury for me to be able to wake up past 8 a.m. everyday.

"Princess, stop jumping on the bed, you're going to accidentally kick your little brother," I hear Ji-Yong's drowsy voice from beside me. Tch, this is your fault, dude. Shortly after, the earthquake, a.k.a our little devils bouncing on our bed, comes to an end.

 

"Umma… Good morning," now it's Dae-Hyun's turn to shower me with kisses. Unlike Ga-Young, Dae-Hyun loves to peck me on the lips, which always makes Ji-Yong jealous for two reasons. One, Dae-Hyun rarely wants to kiss Ji-Yong, and two, Ji-Yong is a dimwit who doesn't like other lips touching his wife's, even if they are his own son's lips. "Good morning, sweethearts," I greet my kids as I groggily sit myself up. I shake Ji-Yong's shoulder s without mercy; this is all because of him and now he wants to steal a few minutes of extra sleep?! I won't let that happen! Ji-Yong finally opens his eyes and sits up as well, welcomed by our kids who immediately cling onto his arms.

 

"Oh?! Umma, why are there red marks on your chest?" Ga-Young points at me while still holding onto her daddy dearest. I furrow my eyebrows and look downwards to my chest. I gasp loudly when I see a few bruises on my cleavage and tie up my nightgown robe straightaway to cover them. Gaaah~ Kwon Ji-Yong! I hate you!!! I yell in my head. "Umma got bitten by mosquitos last night," Ji-Yong giggles like a ninny. I roll my eyes and suppress the urge to punch him in front of my babies.

"Did it hurt, umma?" Dae-Hyun wraps his little hands around my neck. Omo, did what hurt? Oh God, please don't tell me my sweet innocent boy heard anything we did last night… "That's weird, I've never seen any mosquitos in this house," Ga-Young speaks again before I can say anything.

To irk me even more, my childish husband just laughs at our daughter's remark. Wait for it, Kwon Ji-Yong, I will strangle you the minute our kids get out of this bedroom! "Ga-Youngie, take Dae-Hyunnie to the dining room and we'll have breakfast, ok? Umma and appa will be down in a minute," I smile at my children. Ga-Young and Dae-Hyun nod with enthusiasm and walk out of our bedroom.

 

"OUCH!" Ji-Yong yelps when I smack his arm violently. "What was that for?" he pouts. Oh God, this man just infuriates the hell out of me! "What was that for?! Huh? That was for the mosquito bites, you pabo!" I yell. He lets out a hearty laugh, "aww, sorry, yeobo… What else could I have told them, hmm? Should I have told them that last night daddy bit mommy all over her body?"

"AISH! Yah, Kwon Ji-Yong, that's not what I meant. You--"

"Ok, from now on I shall speak the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it'll corrupt our children's minds" he grins and puts his hand in the air, as if making a pledge. I throw him a sharp glare, secretly trying to burn a hole in his face. He keeps smiling like an idiot and kisses my lips, "my morning kiss." He pulls away only to kiss me again, "to replace Dae-Hyunnie's kiss." I chuckle at his act; sure, he can be a pain in the sometimes, but he can always get away with it.

 

I ruffle his hair, "let's go downstairs now, we have a long day today, all thanks to you." He jumps out of bed and pulls me up, "and afterwards we'll have a long night again, also thanks to me." I pinch his arm, but he happily takes it and laughs. He pecks on my forehead and leads me downstairs.

 

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I ask Ga-Young, who's sitting in front of us looking pale and sweaty. Is she not enjoying the breakfast? But everything looks and tastes fine, Ji-Yong and Dae-Hyun are eating as if they haven't eaten in 3 days. Hmm… "Are you ok, sweetie?" I ask her again after not getting any reply. She pouts and shakes her head no, "umma… stomachache." Eh? I furrow my eyebrows; she was fine just now, did her tummy ache because of jumping too much?

 

"Princess, if you don't eat breakfast, I won't take you to Times Square mall," Ji-Yong says. "I can't eat, appa! My tummy hurts! But you've promised that we would go today so you have to keep your promise!" Ga-Young whines, she looks like she's about to cry soon. I squat down next to her, "did you eat something bad yesterday?"

She shakes her head again, "I ate breakfast at home, lunch box at school, and then dinner at home. I also had pepero and banana milk." Hmm, there's nothing wrong with what she ate. What is it, then?

"But umma," she whispers to me, "I haven't pooped in 2 days…" I chuckle at her explanation. I put my hand on her belly, and as expected, it's firm.

 

I take a bottle of prune juice out of the fridge and tell Ga-Young to drink it. She doesn't really like the taste, but hey, if she wants to poop, she just needs to it up. "This is the last of it, umma will ask Mi-Sun ahjumma to buy more, ok?" I coo at Ga-Young. She nods her head and finishes the prune juice.

"What's wrong, princess? Are you constipated?" Ji-Yong asks. "What is comspitated, appa?" Dae-Hyun grows curious. Ji-Yong snickers and brings Dae-Hyun to his lap, "con-sti-pa-ted, son, can you say that?"

"Yes. Conspipated. What's that, appa?" Dae-Hyun's failed attempt in saying the word correctly causes both me and Ji-Yong to laugh. "When you're constipated, you can't do number 2," Ji-Yong explains.

Dae-Hyun blinks his eyes, trying to grasp his father's statement, "Ga-Youngie noona no poop?" Ji-Yong smiles and nods. All of a sudden, Ga-Young gets up and runs off. "Umma, it's coming! It's coming!" she shouts while running away from the dining room. The two males laugh and I follow Ga-Young to the bathroom.

 

"It's still not coming, umma, eotteokhae?" Ga-Young mewls after we've been in the bathroom for almost 15 minutes. I massage her belly, "it's ok, sweetie. Just take your time, it'll come soon."

"Argh, but we won't go to Times Square mall if I don't poop. We have to go today, umma," she keeps whining with her feet dangling.

"Is everything ok in there?" Ji-Yong knocks from outside. I open the door slightly. He's holding Dae-Hyun in his arms and peeks inside. "It's still not out yet, huh?" he grins. "Yah, our daughter is constipated and you have the heart to laugh?" I scold him. He puts Dae-Hyun down and walks inside the bathroom.
 

"AAAAA! Appa, what are you doing here? I'm on the toilet!" Ga-Young screams, surprised by the presence of her father. Ji-Yong pulls her hand, "appa is here to help, princess. Didn't your umma tell you that your appa is the constipation fairy?" Ga-Young sighs and caves in when Ji-Yong picks her up. Ji-Yong bounces her body up and down in his embrace. Ga-Young pouts at first, weirded out by what her father is doing. But after a few moments, she looks like she's enjoying it.

"Omo, omo, appa! I think it's really coming now!" she cries out. Ji-Yong smirks and puts her down again. "Everybody please get out of here, I'm really going to poop this time," she sits on the toilet and the three of us get out of the bathroom.

"Constipation fairy, tch…" I scoff as Ji-Yong, Dae-Hyun, and I stroll back to the dining room. Ji-Yong sticks out his tongue, "Captain Kwon always knows what to do when his girls have tummy aches."

"Appa! Appa! How about this little guy? He's sooo cute!" Ga-Young squeals delightedly and points at puppy in the glass case. It's a baby golden retriever. In a week, our daughter will turn 7, and she told us she wanted a pet as her present. She forced us to buy it today because she said she wanted to show the puppy to her friends when we have her birthday party next week.

"You want to try holding him, young miss?" one of the employees of the pet shop asks. Ga-Young nods her head excitedly and stretches out her hands to hold the puppy. The little guy wiggles happily in her arms. "Can I hold him too, please?" Dae-Hyun reaches for the puppy. "Noona, he's so cute!" he tells Ga-Young excitedly.

 

"Golden retrievers are good dogs for families, especially when your children aren't so little anymore," the employee informs us. "Princess, do you like him?" Ji-Yong turns to our daughter. "Yes, appa, I love him! Can we get him, please?" Ga-Young flutters her eyebrows to cajole her father.

"Yes, appa, pwease~" Dae-Hyun adds, "I will pay you with a kiss on your cheek!" I giggle at his attempt in bribing his father.

"Ok, but can you promise me you two will take care of him? I won't buy him if he's only going to be an extra work for Mi-Sun ahjumma," Ji-Yong says sternly. "Promise!" the two siblings say in unison and hold out their pinkies.

 

"Why can't we take him home today, appa?" Ga-Young whines while we're all having lunch at a restaurant in Times Square mall. "Sweetie, the pet shop has to take care of his certificates and his first vaccination before we can take him home. We'll come back on Tuesday, ok?" I asnwer for Ji-Yong. "An expert now, huh?" Ji-Yong nudges my side and I let our a snort in return.

 

"Dae-Hyunnie and I have decided on his name! Can we go to a shop where they make dog tags, please?" Ga-Young asks after we finish our lunch. I giggle in silence; these two have been whispering to each other throughout lunch, obviously they were deciding on the name. "We sure can. Princess, hold your brother's hand and stay close to appa and umma, ok? It's getting crowded out there," Ji-Yong says and then pays for the meals.

 

We walk into PetCity, the strore where they sell clothes and accessories for pets, and Ga-Young and Dae-Hyun runs to the counter. "Appa, umma, don't come close! It's a surprise!" Ga-Young shouts, making us stop right where we are. "Yah, I'm going to pay for it and I can't see what you're buying?" Ji-Yong pretends to sound angry. "No, you can't!" our children answer in unison. Clearly, their dad's aim to look angry failed. I laugh at the scene and drag Ji-Yong to look around the shop and pick out a few clothes for our new puppy.

 

"We'll pay for whatever they bought as well," I tell the cashier and pay the amount she mentions. "Is it done yet?" Ji-Yong looks at our kids, whose eyes are darted on the tag making machine.

"Jajjaaan…" Dae-Hyun flaunts the silver dog tag. I take a closer look and laugh immediately after seeing what's engraved on it. "Congratulations, Mr Doggyman," I pass the tag to Ji-Yong. In a split second, his expression becomes exasperated. "You named him after me?" he whines while looking at our children, who giggle at their dad in response.

 

"Appa, Kwon Dragon is a perfect name for our new puppy," Ga-Young explains. "And why is that?" Ji-Yong raises his eyebrows. Our children hug Ji-Yong's legs and laugh. "Because the colour is the same with your hair colour when you were young, appa. You know, the one in the photo we have in our living room. Also, this year is the dragon year. So, it's ok, right? We can't change his name now, we already bought the tag," Ga-Young says sweetly.

 

I laugh so hard while pointing my finger at Ji-Yong's pouty face in mockery. "Arasseo, we can call him Dragon, whatever," Ji-Yong finally replies, although still frowning. The kids jump cheerfully and I whisper to him, "hopefully Dragon will become our next miracle dog, hmm?"

"Laugh all you want now, Ga-In ah, I'm annoyed and I'm taking it out on you tonight. Let's buy a rope so I can tie you up in bed. All. Night. Long," he smirks and squeezes my buttcheek, making me blush instantly. I can't believe the punk just did that in public!

"Yah, Kwon Ji-Yong!!!"

He turns his head around and winks at me while dragging our children out of PetCity.