Yuri:

As I step out of Oasis the cold breeze of the late afternoon hits me, I hug my coat tighter around my body as I mentally remind myself to start wearing thicker clothes, winter is nearing and seems to be earlier than usual, well I love winter since it’s my birth season. I look up the dusk sky as I rub my palms together and tuck them inside the pockets of my coat.

I was about to walk out when a person suddenly appeared in front of me, I looked up and found a pair of almond eyes and a gentle smile  from the man I love.

“Hi” he softly said, I suddenly realized how much I missed him

“Hi” I smile back “I thought you wouldn’t come and pick me up?”

“Did I say that?” he slightly tilt his head, I shook mine as I look down. Well we didn’t spoke to each other the whole day, I thought he’s mad at me

“I’m not mad at you love” I shot my head up and gave him a look… did he just read my mind??

“what?” he chuckled as he tap my nose with his index finger, but then his face soften “I’m sorry about last night… are you mad at me?”

“No…” I shook my head again, then his face harden a bit as his brows furrowed

“you should be” he said…. What’s wrong with him??...

“do you want me to?” I blinked at him

“no… of course not” he relaxed again and flashed me his dazzling smile “let’s go” he said as he took my hand and started walking “Cold?” he asked but didn’t wait for my answer as he let go of my hand and wrap his arm around my body pulling me closer to him as we walk towards the parking lot

My Yunho is back, not the bossy, irritable, hot blooded, all business like Yunho last night but my sweet, warm and squishy Yunnie and it made me smile like a fool. This day doesn’t seem to be bad at all.

“Did you eat?” he asked as we stop at the traffic light….

I felt him look at me and I just bit my lip at him…. Oh no…. his lips now pressed in a hard line and his glance turned into a glare

He look back at the road ahead as the light hits green and started driving again “when will you learn?”

“Sorry… I totally forgot… I..” I was cut

“you forgot to eat? Who in the world does that?” okay he’s mad…. That’s not new though, Yunho has issues with food.

“well… me….and lot’s of people does” I wanted to answer him but chose not to and live life peacefully “I wasn’t hungry Oppa” I almost whispered

He just sighed “Early dinner then…” then he made a quick left turn changing the direction we’re going to

We ended up into a Japanese restaurant we frequented and as soon as we sat on our table he ordered without asking what I want and it’s not like I have any complaints, he definitely knows what I want. And as soon as our orders arrived he started to loosen up again. We ate in complete comfort, talking about random stuffs and bickering about silly, nonsense things….

“Let’s go home” he said as soon as we finished eating and he seems suddenly anxious…. “I have something to tell you love” he added

“Okay…” I simply answered looking at him, why does it feel like something’s not right??

“later when we got home” he smiled then stood up and extend his hand to me, I took it and we went out to head home.

The whole ride home was mostly quiet, I can clearly see his anxiety and uneasiness in his face every time I take a glance at him and I can’t help but be nervous of what’s he’s going to tell me.

I know he’s been going through something these past few weeks and he’s trying to hide it from me but I still see it in him the look of confusion, discomfort, stress and sometimes pain and it scared me, I wanted to know what caused all of it but I don’t want to be the first to ask him, I trust him enough to tell me when he knows it’s the right time for me to know or if there’s even a need for me to know. And I try to convince myself that it’s just something work related. But now it’s seems like he’s going to tell me about it and I don’t know why I’m suddenly nervous….

He was quietly sitting at the dining table watching me while I make us both coffee. I placed his mug of coffee in front of him as I sat across him, I took a sip from mine then look at him in the eyes, he’s face is impassive yet I can still see hints of anxiousness in his eyes

“So… what’s it you’re going to tell me?” I ask as lightly as I can, he was stirring his coffee before he look up and met my gaze still with his impassive expression

“please don’t be mad... and please understand” he said almost pleading, apprehension suddenly hit me as he said those words. I just looked at him urging him to continue…. Do I really want to know whatever it is he’s going to say?

“remember a few weeks ago I went to Jeju to meet an interior designer?” he paused and looked at me, I nodded… okay so where are we going here? “that designer is Tiffany Hwang I've worked with her before… so we had a meeting with her and… and she introduced us to her new partner” his voice shook a bit and I felt my heart beat faster.

He suddenly stood from his seat and kneeled in front of me, he held both of my hands and looked at me in the eyes…. Fear, anxiety, pain and all sorts of emotion written on his face…. And I’m just utterly confused and nervous, I don’t understand, what’s wrong with that Ms. Hwang…. Did he had an affair with her???... My eyes widen at the thought and I gave him a questioning look…. “what’s... wrong with her?” I mumbled looking for answer in his eyes

He hung his head low, still holding my hands tight, then he look right up to me again and I was shocked to see tears on his eyes, he’s hurting, he’s on a great pain and it hurts to see him like that. “wh… what’s wrong?” I stuttered, I don’t know what to do, I held his face with trembling hands

“it’s…. it’s Yoona… her partner is Yoona….. she’s…. she’s alive” and then he broke down, and I don’t know what happened to me all I felt is my body tensing and my heart throbbing so hard it hurts and then my mind just went blank, I know he’s still saying something but I just couldn’t hear him.

“she’s alive…. Yoona…. Is alive” all those words kept on repeating on my mind and I don’t know how to react. I looked at Yunho who’s staring at me with anxious eyes, gauging my reaction and waiting for any response. He’s still holding my hands tightly.

“Love… please say something” he pleaded waking me… I blink at him as I recover myself, and I felt myself release a great amount of breath, I don’t know how long I’ve been holding my breath.

I’m shock, utterly and greatly shocked….. I know I am and because of that I just felt numb, so numb that I heard and absorbed everything he said, every word of it….. but I just can’t seem to articulate and process it.

I know I have to give him some kind of reaction, any reaction but….. What would be the appropriate reaction when the person you love told you that the girl he loved and dedicated his life before but was forced to let go because he thought he’ll never see her again….. is actually alive?!

How should I react when of all people, I myself know what this man has gone through when he thought he lost that person, when I myself know the pain he felt, I myself saw how broken and dead he was, I myself believed that he could never love another woman aside from her…… And yet I took a risk and love him….. But she’s back so where should I put myself in the picture?? 

“I love you Yuri…. I do… please don’t forget that” I heard him say “this will never change anything between us…. Please trust me” I heard everything but I can’t seem to comprehend.

I felt my body unconsciously rise from the chair and I realized that at that moment I just want to get away from there, I suddenly don’t want to hear anything and hide.... just hide and runaway.

As I take a step I felt him tug at my hand, I look down at him still kneeling and looking at me with anxious pleading eyes “Love please talk to me” he pleaded kissing my knuckles

“I need to be alone” I flatly said my voice hoarse as I try to swallow the lump on my throat, I tried to remove my hand from his but he just tighten his hold and pressed my hand onto his face

“No please…. You have to listen to me…. Don’t hate me”

“I… I don’t… this is just too much…. I need to be alone please” I harshly tugged my hand away and ran into my room. I locked the door and slide down onto the floor feeling all my energy leave my body, I hug my body as I sat on the floor and there I let go…. I let everything out and started sobbing.

different kinds of emotions are running through me, It hurts a lot, it felt like my heart is being smashed by a big rock, it also felt unreal, how can a person veryone thought is gone forever suddenly comes back?.... But more than all of that... I’m scared, scared of what might happen now that she’s back…. I know Yunho loves me, I never doubted that but I also know how great is his love for Yoona, he loves her so much that I’m sure he wouldn’t even look at me if he never thought she was dead and if he was never that broken two years ago. 

I want to get mad and shout and curse at him, at her….. but can I do that? Do I even have the right to? It’s not like it’s their fault that all this mess happened….. so who should be blamed? Is it me?... Yes, maybe it should be me, I know from the start that loving him is a great risk, that loving him will just hurt the both of us, that loving him is so wrong… yet I chose to, I chose to love him and this is my punishment. But isn't this too much of a punishment? being the obstacle between the two of them, I never wanted that.... He loves me, I know that but I don’t know if that love is enough for him to choose me over her, I don’t know if that love is as great as his love for her…. I doubt it, all these years that we’re together he never allowed himself to forget about her, she’s always there in the deepest part of his heart and I was never against that…. I know I can never replace her in his heart…. but then, no one expected her to come back, no one even thought of that possibility.

So now do I have to end my role on his life here?.... Should I let him go?... Can I do that?.... Is that what he want?.... Will he be happy if I do?

What should I do? so many question are running on my mind, everything is so messed up. These are all frustrating and exhausting…. I buried my face on my knees as I cry my heart out….. I love him so much that it hurts a lot....

But then a sudden thought hit me, he’s hurting too…. I remember the agony in his eyes as he was kneeling in front of me. I was so shocked, I was hurt…. But what about him? He’s in a great confusion and agony too…. How can I hate him? How can I when he’s the one who’s hurt the most? He never wanted these as much as I do.... Nobody wanted this to happen. He's caught up in this ed ip situation that leaves him with the hardest choices in his life, and theres no one there to help him or atleast make it easier...

All these time that he kept it to himself, how much pain did he endure? How did he cope? He dealt with all of it on his own…. He was protecting me, protecting all of us….

“I love you Yuri…. I do… please don’t forget that…. this will never change anything between us…. Please believe… trust me” those words flashedback into my mind and hit me hard, he just told me he love me and that I should trust him, yet I’m here crying and hiding cowardly harboring my pain.... just my own pain.

He said he loves me, and that’s what I’ve been holding on to for the past years of my life, he loves me and he never fail to prove that. I never questioned the amount of that love two years ago when I chose to love him and live my life with him so why should I now? why now when I know that that love is much strong than what it was two years ago... As long as he loves me…. Then that’s enough.

"That's right... just love him Yuri, love him as long as he tells you to.... trust his love and love him even more..."

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand then rose from the floor and open the door of my room ready to face him . I found him on the couch, his elbows placed over his knees and his head buried on his palms, the TV is on but he’s not watching, he's drifted into his own thoughts, own troubles and pain. I slowly approached him without him noticing and stood in front of him, the moment he felt my presence he shot his head up to look at me

“Yul…” he called looking at me with wary eyes…. He was crying…. I sat beside him and we just stared at each other without saying any word just looking into each other's eyes. His intense, anxious and wary eyes slowly and eventually relaxed as so is mine, all the doubts and apprehension gone.... We just need to trust, rely and love each other.... I can live with that.

After some time he raise his hand and caress my face and a smile crept into my face, I scooted closer to him as he relax and lean comfortably against the couch, I wrapped my arms around him and lay my head on his chest, I feel so exhausted after all the crying and thinking and all I want is to lie on the comfort of his arms and forget everything.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered as I felt him kiss my head

I shook my head “no… I’m sorry… I know you’re hurting” I caressed his chest

"I was so scared...." he hugged me tight "scared that you might leave me after knowing about it... I don't want you to, I can't let you go"

“I know... I won't leave as long as you tell me not to..."

"Thank you love.... I love you!"

I looked up at him "you’re not okay right? I know it's hard... I'm sorry”

I felt him tighten his hug on me “I’m not…. But I know I will be soon as long as you're with me…. We’ll be okay soon… It actually feels good that you know already..." he caress my face and looked into my eyes, we held each other's gaze "Just please stay with me love, I am living my life now because of you, don't forget that... I love you and that will never change” and that’s the assurance I needed, those are enough for me to believe and trust our love.... his love 

He tilt my chin and gave me a soft, passionate kiss sending all the unspoken feelings between us. I buried my head on his neck “I love you too… I don’t want to leave either” that’s the last word I was able to utter before I close my eyes and drift into sleep.

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“let’s get you to bed” Yunho softly mutter as he carry the now sleeping Yuri into her room, he carefully laid and tucked her to bed before lying on his side of the bed. He watch her sleep and gently wipe away the stain of tears on her eye “ I’m sorry for making you cry….. thank you for holding on to me and for loving me” he whispered as he kiss her softly on the forehead “I love you so much….” he finally said as he lie and pull her close to him as he too drift into dreamland holding her protectively close to him…..

Tonight, before you fall asleep,

I'll run my thumb across your cheek

Cry cause I'm here to wipe your eyes

I know I made you feel this way

You gotta breathe, we'll be okay

Cry cause I'm here to wipe your eyes

Wipe Your eyes (Maroon5)

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Hi guys!

I'm really not sure about this chapter, I've done alot of thinking about Yuri's reaction after knowing the truth.... and after all the changes  and alteration in my mind it turned out like this. I know everyone has been anticipating this moment and I hope I didn't disappoint you  guys.... And I actually hesitated posting this cuz I find it lacking.... But I'm really sleepy now and can't think properly, so if you guys find it lame or crappy or lacking, feel free to tell me your opinions and suggestion I'll be more than happy to edit it and make it better...

Thanks!

Please comment:)