Yunho’s eyes started to water, a big lump of something was suddenly stuck on his throat, his face paled and heart pounded uncontrollably “What is this? Am I dreaming? How can this be... Is she real?” a lot of questions running in his mind and none of them he could answer.

Everything just seem so unreal to him, how can a person he thought was already gone in his life, a person he thought he will never be able to see again, a person that he... after all the dreadful days, all the agonizing pain, all the sorrow and all the longing that almost killed and crushed him to pieces.... learned to live without. And how can the one person whom he thought he had lost forever be standing infront of him now, breaking all the walls he created, digging in all the memories he had buried deep down inside his whole being and making his heart flutter at an unknown yet at the same time familiar pace within just a minute.

He couldn’t think straight, it’s as if everything stopped and all he could see is her beautiful face smiling at him and all he could hear is the restless pounding of his heart, both giving him pain and shattering his newly built heart and he doesn’t know why.... Without even thinking he just felt his body move and the next thing he knew he was standing up and with just a simple “Please excuse me” he dashed out of the restaurant and started running without any place to go, he just wanted to run away from that place and avoid that sight.... He longed for her, he wanted to touch her feel everything about her, that’s true but  with an unknown reason the sight of her all alive and standing before him hurt him a lot, and after everything he has gone through he just doesn’t want to believe that the reality he was living now is all a big damn lie...

He kept on running until he lost all the air to breath, he suddenly stopped and while panting he looked around and realized that in front of him is the calm sea with it’s clear water emitting a sense of peacefulness completely opposite of the chaos he’s feeling inside now.... He heaved a heavy sigh before falling on his knees and sitting on the sand, he looked at the calmness of the sea hoping to ease just a bit of the tugging feeling inside him when his phone suddenly rang, he took it out from his pocket and answered it without looking at the name “Yoboseo” he weakly said

“I miss you!” a familiar sweet and gentle voice said, automatically giving him warmth by just the sound of it “are you busy? Am I disturbing you?”

“No” he simply answered with a small smile on his face “I miss you too... how are you?”

“I’m good... how about you? Are you okay? Is there something wrong?” she worriedly asked

“nothing I’m fine just sleepy.... I’ll be in a meeting I’ll call you later okay?”

“Okay... rest if you have time... I love you!” she cheerfully ended, upon hearing those words he felt like his heart is being ripped and crumpled into pieces, he love this woman a lot, he’s living his life now because of her and the thought of hurting her will break him more and more and he couldn’t do that... he wouldn’t.

He paused as the tears he was trying to control starts falling from his eyes “I love you... a lot” he softly answered before ending the call and dropping his phone down. And there with the sea as the only witness he let out all the heavy loads he’s carrying and broke down crying his heart out. As he questioned God “Is this some kind of a joke? If it is then it’s not funny at all!” he shouted without no one to hear him How do you want me to face this? What the hell do you want me to do?

After having a drink to calm himself and clear his mind Yunho went back to his hotel room later that night, he took a shower and settled himself on his paper works to occupy his mind and distract him but after hours of trying his best it’s still no use, he threw all his documents aside and pour himself a glass of wine, he sat on the couch as he turn the pages of Yoona’s portfolio lot’s of questions were running on his mind and none of it he has an answer, he thought of looking and confronting her but then he doesn’t think he has the courage to face her and see her face again. He remembered what Changmin told him earlier when he found him by the sea and talked to him

“It’s definitely her hyung.... I was also so shocked I don’t know how things happened... I’m sorry” he said as he looked at his brother’s troubled face it’s as if he’s seeing the Yunho two years ago and it frightens him “Hyung please pull yourself together... the only thing I think you should do is to confront her and ask her yourself don’t torture yourself again like this hyung”

“I don’t know if I have the courage to face her Min... How can I face something, someone whom I thought is gone forever? I don’t even know what to tell her”

“I know... but you have to do it sooner or later the only thing that will ease your mind is her answer to every question you wanted to ask her.... I don’t know how or If I should say this but you have Yuri now hyung, she’s the reason why you’re here all healed and whole just please don’t forget that” he stood up and patted his hyung’s shoulder “just call me if you need anything”

He let out a loud heavy sigh hoping that it could atleast lessen his burden, and with a grunt he threw his head on the couch and run his palm on his face. A sudden buzz from the door interrupted his thoughts he lazily stood up and walked to the door not forgetting to peak a glance at the clock “Why is Min still awake?” he mumbled to himself. He opened the door with an annoyed look plastered on his face “Min it’s...” he cut his own sentence when he saw the person in front of him, the annoyed look on his face was changed into a stunned one, there standing on his door is Yoona with an uneasy look on he face

“Oh... I’m sorry Mr. Jung am I disturbing you? I’ll just go now” but before she could turn her back Yunho had stopped her

“N... no i.. it’s okay”  he stuttered, disbelief is still written all over his face seeing her is still unreal for him. “do you need anything?” he asked trying his best to act normal

“I... I was just wondering if I could to you about something?” Yoona asked timidly while biting her lips

Yunho moved to the side and gave her way “Sure please come in” Yoona bowed slightly and started walking in and that’s when Yunho noticed that she’s limping and is holding crutches on her left side, his eyes widen as realization hit him he sttod frozen on his place as he watch her limp her way in to the couch, it pains him seeing her like that, he held onto his chest as pain started to strike again.... Why? Is she crip?... No... this can’t be!

“ca...can I sit here?” Yoona asked with her angelic smile waking Yunho from his trance

Biting back the tears that were threating to fall “Su... sure” he followed her trying his best to compose himself, he sat across her and looked at her from head to toe realizing how much he had missed her yet still couldn’t believe that she’s real. He wanted to ask her why she’s using crutches, he wanted to ask her a lot of things but his mind just went blank upon seeing her face knowing that she’s just a mere meter away from him.

He cleared his throat “Can I help you with something?” he was able to ask

Yoona let out a sigh before speaking “It seems like I gave you a shock earlier I’m sorry” she looked at Yunho before speaking again “I know you know me, I came here to Korea to actually look for you” she could clearly see the shock and confusion written all over his face “I know you’re confused and have lot’s of question, I hope I can answer them all so please let me speak” she looked at him again and all he did is nod so she continued

“Two years ago I woke in an hospital bed in London without any memory left in my mind I didn’t even recognize my parents who were beside me that time, they introduce themselves to me and told me who I am and everything that happened to me... The accident really injured me badly I was in coma for a while and when I woke up I couldn’t even speak properly at first so I had gone through therapies to correct my speech, my lower body was completely paralyzed so I had to learn how to use my feet and walk again, that’s why I have this” she patted her crutch Yunho followed her movement before looking straight into her eyes

“What did your parents told you? I mean... what did they say happened to you?” He wanted to hug her there and then guilt is eating his insides he couldn’t help but blame his self on what she has gone through and the fact that he wasn’t there with her when she’s struggling to be better isn’t helping at all.

“They said I had a car accident here in Seoul and they had to fly me to London to have better treatment and that we’ll be living there and not come back here. I was like a lost child I don’t know what to do I had lot’s of question but they especially my father doesn’t give proper answers to them it’s like they’re hiding something from me, so without any choice I started my life again in London creating new memories and continuing my studies there, I tried my best to be happy with my parents but there’s this certain part of me that longs for something, for answer to a question that I also couldn’t figure out it’s like a part of myself is missing and I couldn’t find the answer to it cause their preventing me to.... Almost a year ago my father passed away and that’s when my mother told me to go back here and look for you because only here and only you can help me find the missing pieces in my life and help me find the answer to my questions so that I can redeem the lost me” Yunho clenched his fist in anger after knowing how Yoona’s parents lied to her and everybody, he couldn’t help but think that al of these wouldn’t happen if they didn’t hide things from Yoona and made them believe that she’s dead.

“Wh... what are those questions you wanted to ask?” Yunho finally spoke now understanding what really happened. He was even shocked on how he was able to act calmly at their situation, knowing that the person he once dedicated his life and all this time thought that he will never see her again is now sitting across him

“Actually it’s more on I want you to help me know me... I mean, who really am I? And there’s this one question....” she looked at him and held his gaze before asking “Who are you? What’s our relationship? Why did my mom told me to particularly look for you? How much do you know me?” she bravely asked him

Yunho was taken aback by her question, how will he answer her? Should he tell her the truth that he was her fiancée, he’s the reason she suffered and lost her memory and he thought she’s dead so he loved another girl.... can he tell her all that and make her hate him?!... He cleared his throat before answering “Me and Changmin were your childhood friends but the two of us are the best of friends” he settled for that answer... he’s not completely lying he reminded himself “Our parents were also friends before that became enemies but that doesn’t affect us our friendship stayed and became stronger, I’m your best friend and I know you so well that’s why your mother wanted you to find me”

“Really?” a bright smile appeared on her face and it melted Yunho’s heart, he nodded with the same bright sincere smile “But” she suddenly asked dropping her smile off “my mom said that what everyone here know is that I’m dead.... I’m still wondering why, do you know the reason?” she looked at him and saw how gentle he looks at her she can see a sense of longing on how he looked at her and his soft almond eyes gives her a familiar feeling that she couldn’t describe.

Yunho finally shook his head “I actually don’t know” he simply answered, everything is still too much for him to take, what will he do now that Yoona is back in his life again?... He couldn’t help but be angry on her parents for letting them suffer so much without each other. The life he’s living now is so much different from his life before it is a life without her, a life wherein she doesn’t exist, a life where his priority is not her, how will he fit her into it? those questions were running on his mind yet he can’t help but feel happy knowing that she’s alive and is with him again.... But how about the other person he’s living his life for now? The other person he promised to love and protect?!

“Yunho-ssi” she called as tears suddenly stream down her eyes and seeing this Yunho’s heart break “Please do me this favor, help me know myself... I may not get my memories back but please help me know myself better and create new memories with the real Im Yoona, I want to find myself” she sobbed and Yunho’s heart breaks even more, he couldn’t see her crying like this. He sat beside her and lifted her chin “please don’t cry” he wiped away her tears with his thumb “I will help you, you don’t have to worry” he softly whispered while staring straight to her eyes, Yoona’s sob become louder as she scooted closer to him and wrap her arms around him “Thank you.... thank you soo much!” she said while she buried her face on his neck.

Yunho froze by her action and as her body touches his a familiar sensation hit him everything came back he suddenly felt how much he loved this girl, how much he had missed holding her in his arms, feeling her soft skin, smelling her unique addicting scent..... everything just felt familiar and with a bitter sweet feeling a tear started to fall from his eyes as he also wrap his arms around her slender waist and hold her protectively close to his body, all his worries suddenly disappeared as his heart started beating a pace known to him.

But is this right?!

That night after his conversation with Yoona, Yunho lied on his bed with lot’s of thoughts running through his mind, he felt happy knowing that she’s alive, he’s happy that after a long time he was able to see her and hold her again yet he couldn’t ignore the fact that if he continue this someone will get hurt and he can’t let that happen cause he truly love that person so much.... But how about Yoona does he still love her?! He couldn’t love her anymore..... He certainly know that changes will happen from now on but how big of a change is it? Will he be able to cope with it? He was living a reality that turns out to be a big lie and now within just a day everything is different.

How can something he struggled and forced himself to believe and accept all these years that he almost chose to kill himself than try to accept..... turns out to be a big freaking lie?! And why now? Why the hell should it be now when he has learned to accept the fact everything he’s living for before is gone, when he was able to move on and to open up his heart again.... why now should all of these happen? The reality he has come to accept and believe just crashes into pieces with a just a snap and suddenly he doesn’t know how to deal with his life again.

If this is a game God want’s me to play, then can I just quit without putting up a fight?!

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Hi everyone! I'm really sorry for this very late update, we were really busy preparing for my sister's wedding and to be honest I kinda lost inspiration in writing maybe bacause of my long hiatus but don't worry I will never leave this story.... ever:))

Here's an update, it was really hard writing this cause I had to put myself into Yunho's shoes and feel everything for him, I actually planned writing this in his POV but I might not give it justice so it turned out like this.... Hope you enjoy and feel how I felt while writing this... Sorry if there are errors I wasn't able to proof read it since I'm really sleepy....

And please excuse my failed attempt in creating poster.lol

Enjoy!:D