48 | SECOND CHANCE

Baekhyun

Discomfort shakes me when I receive judging looks as soon as I get into the restaurant. Oh, right. I just got beat up. I’m surprised I was even able to drive safely with one busted eye. Well, I could still see from it, but I must admit that it was half-open for the most part, my vision wasn’t necessarily affected. The bright lights of the restaurant pooled on top of my eyelids, and I had to press a hand over my forehead as I make my way in.

“Baekhyun, are you okay?”

“Oh my god, what happened to you?”

“Who did this to you?”

I suddenly feel like a celebrity getting suffocated by the paparazzi as my co-workers herded a circle around me, with my boss joining the last. “What the hell?” Kyungsoo whisper-shouts, quickly grabbing me to one corner. “What ha—” I break away from his grip to proceed to walk to the office. I didn’t come here for this.

I’m here for Soobin.

I know what I did to her isn’t something I can just take back in one talk. I’m aware of how much I’ve damaged her, how much I’ve burdened her ever since we started dating. Maybe I won’t get her back, maybe she won’t forgive me, maybe I’ll never get a second chance … but I just want her to know that I love her.

After my encounter with Hanbin, I realized how much my love for Soobin matters for both of us. How much I care about what we have.

I want her to know that I can love her so bad that she could keep me forever if she still wants to.

But if she doesn’t anymore, at least she knows that my feelings never changed. I mean … if she’d still want me, that’d be awesome. But I know I ed up so it might not be that easy. It shouldn’t be that easy for me. She deserves better than that.

“Hey, Baekhyun. You can’t just come in looking like that—hey, you don’t even work today.” I feel Kyungsoo’s presence right behind me as I reach the door of the office. I snatch it open, and my boss grabs me by the arm again. “What the hell happened to your face? Who did this—”

I yank him away once I get a full view of the office inside and meet Soobin’s eyes. Oh, and Miyoung’s in there too looking at me with the same look Kyungsoo gave me earlier. “Soobin,” I call her name in between breaths. “I need to talk to you right now, please?” My voice came out more desperate than I expected it to be, and I honestly don’t care anymore.

Miyoung turns to Soobin and mouths something to her before moving a few steps away as if giving me the pass to come closer.

“Soobin,” I march towards her, but Miyoung blocks me, maintaining an arm’s length between us. “Why are you here? What happened to your face? I’m Soobin’s spokesperson right now.” She explains possessively.

I meet Soobin’s eyes as she peeks over Miyoung’s shoulders. “Wha—what happened to you?” Her voice is so quiet, I barely heard it.

Before I could even answer her question, Miyoung raises a hand right against my face. “Those eyes tell me you want to get back together. It’s too soon, give her time. I just had a talk with her, you .” She sasses in defence.

Kyungsoo closes the door of the office before finally rushing to his girlfriend and wrapping an arm around her neck from behind, gently head locking her. “Oh my god, you did not just call him a in his face—come here, let them talk.” He covers before dragging her away.

“It’s fine. I’m an actual anyway.” I muffle casually before looking down at Soobin again and to my surprise, she extends an arm to touch my busted face. She immediately catches herself and retrieves her hand as if accidentally touching a hot object.

“What ha—happened to you?”

Even if it’s painful, I find myself smiling as if her voice alone is Tylenol. It still hurts but being close to her right now makes m forget everything. “I uh—” My heart spirals as I search for my words. “I ran into a pole.” I manage to say, praying she’d buy it.

“Wow, so original. Must have been a huge pole.” Miyoung sarcastically comments from behind and I just hear Kyungsoo muffling incoherent words to her, probably trying to shut her up again.

Soobin’s shoulders tense up as creases like she’s tasting something she doesn’t like. “How—”

“Don’t worry about it, please. It’s nothing. I don’t even feel it that much.” I tell her quietly.

Her lips move to speak but words fail her a couple of tries, then she eventually gives up trying. I glance at the other pair behind me and nod at Kyungsoo. “Is it okay if we have some privacy? Just for a while?” I ask nicely.

Kyungsoo immediately nods and twirls away to leave until Miyoung grabs him back by the throat. “What’s the point of leaving? Trust me, we’re going to eavesdrop behind the door anyway so we might as well hear it in full volume.” She argues with certainty.

I hate that she has a point. This couple pressures the bejesus out of me, and I do not love it. But at the same time, they’re the only ones who probably understand and know my relationship with Soobin the most.

“How did you run into a pole? Ar—are you drunk? Are you sick? Did someone push you?” Soobin’s innocent question makes me look down at her again and as soon as I did, I feel her cold palm right against my forehead. The cut above my eyebrow hurts a little when it got into contact with her skin, so I flinch.

I should have seen it coming. Of course, she was going to buy my lie. It’s Choi Soobin. She’s the epitome of innocence.

I gulp hard to force the words out of my mouth. “Do—don’t worry about it, let’s … talk about something else, okay?” I cup her shoulders to gently push her down to sit on the loveseat with me.

I glance at the couple on the other end of the office again. Kyungsoo shrugs in complete submission while pointing at Miyoung who’s impatiently glaring at me while tapping her foot like a concerned parent waiting to find out who stole the swing from her child in the playground.

“Uhm, Soobin. I want to talk about us.” I look down at my girl who’s still anxiously inspecting my cuts and bruises. “I know that I have no right to take my words back just like that and expect everything to go back to normal because I’ve already hurt you. I can’t change that, but I want to tell you—”

Soobin impatiently gets up and walks over to her desk, not letting me continue my speech. She opens her bottom drawer and takes out a white box that has a red cross logo on it. She goes back to sit beside me and starts digging through the box.

“Uh, I initially didn’t want to tell you because it’s my problem, but you see, my—” The burden in my chest starts getting more and more uncomfortable as I fight through my pride. “My dad is—” Looking away, I choke on my own words again and fail to continue.

I’m scared to put more pressure on her if I tell her about it. But I know that I eventually have to, I just don’t know where to start.

Soobin starts cleaning my wounds with a cotton ball soaked in hydrogen peroxide. Her eyes are full of attention, full of presence that tells me I can now breathe easy. So, I do.

As if I’m about to go blind, I savour the sight of her as she treats my wounds. This has been the calmest I’ve ever been for the past three days.

And it’s all because she’s near me.

I’ve hurt her with my words, pushed her away, rejected her in the harshest way. And yet she’s here, taking care of me like I’m a lightly scratched gem.

She tips her head in concentration while dabbing around my compromised features, light groans slipping out of as if she could feel the pain from her own touches.

I find myself propping my head closer to hers and her hand on my face slows down until she’s all frozen. Counting the rapid times she blinked, I eventually catch her gaze and hold it with mine. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for saying things I didn’t mean. I just didn’t know what to do—”

She cuts off the eye contact and squeezes her eyes shut like my words were poison to her. I lean my forehead against hers, letting me hear her loud swallows after each heavy breath. “I kn—I know this isn’t gonna fix anything, I just—I’m sorry I ed up.” Tears flood the corners of my eyes as I close them.

Her unsteady breathing vibrates through me, and I start mirroring it until I’m sobbing as hard as she is. “We do—don’t have to get back together if you don’t want to but I just want you to know tha—that I love you and … it’s not your fault at all. Don’t ever think it’s your fault, promise me.