25 | BURNING HISTORY

Soobin

I stir awake from the alarm clock blaring adjacent to my left ear. 

I believe sore is the word I am looking for and the sensation is trapped deep within my lower core. is the next word that comes to mind right after that.

I had . With Byun Baekhyun. Last night.

Either that or it was a very lengthy vivid dream and I am totally imagining this tenderness in my body. Phantom post- soreness, per se. Is that a thing? Examining my room that is lit by the morning sun, I quickly take notice of my blue nightgown and pink robe neatly hung on the armchair in one corner.

I look over to the right side of the bed. Empty. No Byun Baekhyun. So, there really is a possibility that I was having a dream about Baekhyun which is likely, on my part, to happen so I wouldn’t be so surprised. But how about the rain? The confession or should I say several confessions? Everything? Were those parts of the dream?

But then … I peek down at myself from the comforter. I am fully and there is no way I stripped myself while sleeping. Or was I sleep-stripping while having a dream? That’s possible too, right?

I don’t know. I really don’t know what to think right now.

Disregarding my displeasure about the matter, I get off the bed and walk to the armchair to grab my robe. After wearing it, I go straight to my bathroom to get ready for another day of work. It doesn’t take me two steps further into the door to perfectly hear running water from my shower and my gaze sharply shifts to the sliding door of the shower stall that is currently closed shut. The frosted glass shows me a blurry vision of a body.

A body.

A male body. Broad. Brawny. Pale. Familiar.

“Ba—baekhyun.” I hear myself whisper under my breath. I think he heard me because he stops from scrubbing his head and he turns over his shoulders. Despite the frosted glass blocking me from seeing his gloriousness very clearly, it makes me nervous when he turns his body.

He was here. And he is still here. It wasn’t a dream.

Everything that happened last night was real. They were all real including the—

The shower stall slides open and peeks out a drenched-faced Byun Baekhyun. Water drips on the tips of his bangs that lay softly over his forehead, almost covering his eyes that are looking straight at me. His biceps contract as he folds them on the edge of the door, keeping it open while he rests his chin on it.

He smirks. “Hey.” I am dazed by how his voice sounds together with the bathroom echo. Water trickles off his lips, skating down his prominent chin and off they go to the tiled floor. I watch it happen many more times. The wet dots on his muscular and flushed arm are also a sight to see and I am not sure if I’ll ever recover from this involvement.

I am looking very erted right now.

Choi Soobin, calm down. Just calm down and calculate your thoughts before you say them. Calculate, calculate, calculate—

“It wasn’t a dream.” The words shoot out of my mouth like a bullet before I could even start thinking of a good way to start this conversation. Good morning. How are you? Did you get a good night's sleep? There were a lot of words waiting in line at the tip of my tongue.

But, of course, I say the worst thing that is meant to stay only in my head.

Classic, Choi Soobin.

Baekhyun drops his head but I catch the grin on his face that he attempted to hide behind the glass door. “I ne—I need to get ready though. I also … need to … take a shower. I have work.” I glance at my digital wall clock beside the mirror cabinet. It should be me standing inside that shower stall instead, taking my shower and getting ready for work as usual.

He looks up, jerking his head off to one side. “Come here.”

Come here as in … there? In there? With him? A lump grows in my throat as I place a hand on my throbbing chest, familiar heat spreading across my entire body like how it did last night. No would be the most appropriate answer to give this man right now.

But instead, my body immediately says Yes and I find myself shuffling my way towards the shower stall. This time, however, I am able to stop halfway before hell breaks loose again.

“I’m—I’m gonna wait—I’m gonna—” I make a U-turn to escape my own stupid decision but Baekhyun grabs me by the wrist, twirling me back to face him. His wet grip is warm and firm. His fingers travel up to the fuzzy fabric hugging my arm until I feel them dampening the skin of my neck.

Baekhyun pulls me in, letting me see that smile of his very up-close. “Okay then. Suit yourself. I’m almost done anyway.” He suddenly kisses me and my entire body jolts with self-awareness. Morning breath. Morning breath. Morning breath. The discomfort surprisingly doesn’t last long when he makes it deep and sultry, the wetness of his tongue coating me with pure lust and the complete indifference of how bad my breath probably is right now. 

He slowly pulls away, the tips of our tongues lingering for a stretched moment. His dark gaze meets mine and I don’t know what the heck I was thinking about anymore. All I know is that I am getting in there because I want more.

He’s like a walking hex that pulls me in every single time.

I slip off my robe and I step into the shower stall with Baekhyun looking genuinely surprised. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting you’d actually—” I shut him up with another kiss. I cannot believe I am initiating a kiss when I am the one who has a morning breath. This man right here has a sweet minty breath so I know he already brushed his teeth so I understood if he had the guts to do it earlier.

But me? Where am I getting this?

My whole body immediately gets soaked under the waterfall shower as Baekhyun pulls me in, his grip full of yearning. I have never made out with someone in the bathroom before but I must say, this is quite … nice.

I never really understood the purpose of my wide-plated waterfall shower. It came with the condo when I got it. I didn’t bother asking the previous owners—a married couple with no kids—why and neither did I bother to change it since it was working perfectly fine.

But now I probably understand why. It covers both of us entirely and I would expect a totally different scenario here if we had a standard-sized shower above us right now. It wouldn’t have been ideal because one of us would be freezing while only one gets the water.

Why am I thinking about this again? I am making out with the Byun Baekhyun. “Ow—” He suddenly pulls away, groaning in pain. Oops, did I do it too hard? He is smiling as he pinches his top lip. “Sorry, it got caught on your—I’m fine.” He looks down at me again like nothing happened and proceeds back to the kissing.

“Wait—I actu—I need to—” I attempt to speak in between kisses until Baekhyun’s lips eventually travel down my neck. I am now perfectly capable of speaking since my lips are free but the way he kisses and the water off my neck makes it just as hard to make up a sentence.

It only gets harder when he starts one while he massages the other. “Do—don’t you have clients to meet soon? You mi—you might want to save yo—your energy for them, right? I don’t want you to waste it on me.” I finally manage to ask and that makes him stop immediately. He takes a step back as he looks down but I see him rolling his tongue in his cheek as if he’s holding back words. Did I say something wrong? I was just trying to help. I know how his job works and I don’t think whatever we’re doing right now is going to make it better.

If this, whatever we are doing, leads to again.

He wouldn’t have enough energy for later.

Am I right? I just don’t want him to get in trouble at his other job.

“Did I sa—say the wrong thing again?” I ask quietly as the water blurs out my vision of him. I see him leaning on the tiled wall and I worry that he’s feeling very cold right now, being away from this warm water overhead.

H