27 | PENICILLIN

Soobin

Current jolts through me when Baekhyun gathers me close in his arms, giving me one of my favourite smiles of his. The smile that says, I’m right here just looking at you and only you. However, I can’t help but be nervous about what he’s going to say.

From what Kyungsoo looked like when he came out of the office and told me Baekhyun had something to tell me, it seemed serious.

“I do have something to tell you.” He answers me after a long silence. He gives me affectionate on my hair, his fingers eventually settling on the crook of my neck. “Is it okay with you if your boyfriend opens up about something very personal?”

Aside from the plainspoken question, the way he asked it flusters me to the core. Boyfriend. My boyfriend. That’s … him. It’s going to take a while for me to get used to this new title of him in my life.

I was about to respond when the door cracks open, making a sound that makes the two of us turn. It’s Kyungsoo peeking his head in. I don’t know why but I grew more self-conscious and I find myself hopping away from Baekhyun’s hold.

“Chef! We weren’t—I was just—he was in—I wasn’t doing—” I fail to come up with a proper excuse of why I am embracing a co-worker. Right now is not the time to announce this newly found romance of mine.

I glance at Baekhyun hoping to get a backup but he only rubs the smile on his face, hiding his laugh behind his knuckles.

I look at Kyungsoo again and he’s just rolling his eyes while pursing his lips in a straight line as if he’s in the most boring class he’s ever been to. “Baekhyun, I’m gonna let you talk with your girlfriend. I’ll take over the bar, for now, I’m giving you ten minutes.” Our boss announces.

My eyes grow larger, his words replaying in my head over and over again.

Girlfriend? Did Kyungsoo say, girlfriend? Me? To Baekhyun? Wait a minute—how did this happen? I throw a sharp look on Baekhyun who is now proudly smiling down at me. “Don’t worry, I’ve only told Kyungsoo so far. That’s fine, he’s our boss anyway.” He tells me.

“Just finish this talk quickly, okay? No dirty business in here, please.” Kyungsoo warns us, pointing at both of us like an angry parent before closing the door shut.

“Ugh, he talks like he doesn’t do any dirty business in here,” Baekhyun grumbles under his breath as he takes me to sit on the armchair. He grabs the wooden stool beside and sets it right in front of me so we are facing each other while seated. “Anyway, I wish I could tell you this at a better time and not rush it in ten minutes but … it’s best if you know now since you’re going to meet her tonight.”

Her. He meant her. Lee Mooyeon.

Somehow, it’s starting to terrify me even more. If this opening up is regarding his old client, I fear that his relationship with her is even deeper than I thought. Maybe she wasn’t just a former client who grew feelings for him. Maybe something did happen between them, mutually.

I’m not sure I am ready to hear whatever it is.

I lower my gaze to my lap as I fiddled with the buttons of my blouse. With every millisecond that he doesn’t talk, my fear grew larger. If it’s taking him this long to start talking, my theory may be right.

Did he really … fall for her at one point?

After all, Lee Mooyeon is very beautiful. She’s in her fifties but she’s still very beautiful. It’s hard to even believe she’s not that close to our age. I mean, there’s a huge possibility that she had received numerous amounts of plastic surgery through the years but I almost want to applaud whoever her doctor is because she looks very natural.

While waiting for Kyungsoo and Baekhyun outside, I couldn’t help but look her up on the internet. According to the internet, she’s married to a politician and her son is a famous runway model.

I looked him up too. His name is Seo Minjun. I have to admit … he’s very handsome. His facial features are on point to my type of guy. His small sharp face, his prominent chin, his small droopy eyes, his thin nose, his soft thin lips, his big smile—In fact, he looks a lot like Baekhyun.

Wow, that’s weird. I feel like I was just completely describing Baekhyun just now.

I guess my ideal in a guy will always be influenced by Byun Baekhyun. I wouldn’t have even cared to look at this Minjun guy’s photos on the internet if he didn’t resemble Baekhyun a little. My point is, I don’t like him that way. I was just giving my opinion regarding his looks and I don’t think that’s bad.

I flinch when Baekhyun snaps fingers right on my face. “You full-on spaced out right there. Are you okay?” He asks.

“No, I was—I was listening. You were saying?”

Baekhyun looks away and laughs. “Babe, I haven’t said anything.” I don’t know where to focus. Is it the fact that I just got busted for spacing out and he hasn’t actually said anything and I thought he said something already or that fact that he called me babe for the very first time?

It’s weird to hear that word from him. I’m not a big fan of endearments. I just prefer calling them by their name. In my opinion, it feels more personal, more connected, when I use their name.

I mean, my ex-boyfriends used the same endearment to call me but I never … used it on them in return. But for some reason, I don’t mind hearing babe on Baekhyun’s voice. He doesn’t make it weird and it still sounds like … he’s calling me. It doesn’t feel too detached from Choi Soobin when he uses it to call me.

As long as it’s Baekhyun’s voice, I’d definitely turn when I hear him say, babe. God, I sound like a maniac. Or maybe I am one.

“Tell me, please.” I insist this time.

Baekhyun leans closer, locking out fingers together in between us. “You see—” He chuckles as he lowers his gaze to our hands. Sometimes, I wish I could read him better, even just for a bit.

I don’t mind not being able to see through other people.

But I wish I could do that to the man that I love, at the very least.

“—Lee Mooyeon was never my client.” His words instantly shake the thought off my head. Fear and something else swells in my chest, making it very hard to look back at him now. She was never a client? But … the gift, though.

Baekhyun lifts my hands close to his lips and kisses them, his eyes squeezed shut as if he’s in some sort of pain. “She’s my … mother.” The last word that comes out of his mouth and against my knuckles leaves a bad sensation in my chest.

“Yo—your mother?” I repeat what he just said. His colour is off as he looks away with a faded smile. “Well, she gave birth to me but that’s pretty much it.” He explains, his voice barely making a sound at the end.

Silence wash over us and I lost all the ability to speak. I couldn’t comprehend whether there’s pain and sadness in his eyes … or are they plain emotionless at the moment. What I’m sure of is that his smile felt emptier than ever.

And it’s breaking me quite a bit. That’s not one of my favourite smiles of his.

It’s forced. It’s what I do a lot and seeing him do it makes it ridiculously painful to see. His gaze then glittered with faint concern as he looks back at me. “That day when I got the gift, I—” He in his mouth, closing it in a tight straight line. “—I had to lie to you. I’m not supposed to tell people about my relationship with her. She made me sign a contract when I became an adult and, in the contract, we agreed that in exchange for a monthly allowance, I need to keep my mouth shut about us, like forever basically, I guess until she dies.” His explanation only makes the feeling worst in my entire body and I am unable to respond.

Swallowing the tightness in my throat, I look up. For an inappropriate amount of time, all I could do was stare at him. I am frowning so hard I could feel the deep creases forming on my forehead.

It grounds me back to awareness when Baekhyun cups my cheek. “I’m okay.” He tells me, a smile that’s a bit more real this time spreads his lips wide.

He may be okay but this is not okay. She is not okay.

How could a mother do that?

“Just promise me that this will stay between us. Aside from you, only Kyungsoo knows about it now. I trust you and I know you’re not going to say anything but I just want to tell you that she can put me in trouble if I speak up. I have zero proof of my relationship with her because she made sure they were all gone before she created that contract. She even gave birth to me at home just to be sure and so her name was never in any of my papers.” The more that he says things, the more that anger boils inside of me.

And I don’t get angry. I rarely get angry. I don’t even remember the last time I got angry.

But today might be different.

“Does her … family know?” I ask even though there are a ton more important questions I wanted to ask. But I’m afraid it will only boil me up even more if I bring it up. Baekhyun shrugs. “Her parents knew before they passed. They were the ones who helped her hide the whole thing. She was only, like, twenty at that time. Her husband could possibly know something but I’m not so sure. Her son, I don’t think so.” He replies.

I find myself re