43 | PURPLE RAIN

Soobin

I am stuck in yet another one of my parents’ family dinners. Ever since Hanbin came back, they’ve been forcing me to come over and have dinner together more often.

When it was just me and Hanbin was in Japan, they rarely did this, and I only had to come over for special occasions. I guess I really need to accept my new fate. This will be happening for the rest of my life as the least favoured child. It’s still better than having other relatives with us.

At least, I only have to deal with a small intimate crowd and my brother’s screaming ego that is well-enabled by my parents daily. Speaking of the devil, they’re not even here yet and I’m starving. Why do we always need to wait for them? Why can’t I just start eating first since I got here first?

I try to sneak a piece of side dish with my chopstick, but my mother quickly catches me. “Soobin, they’re almost here. They just had to get some groceries for their new house. Be respectful to your brother, please sweetheart?” She slaps my hand away from the side dishes.

Ugh, not even side dishes? I just want a little bit. I’m starving. The last thing I ate was ramen this afternoon. Baekhyun was at my place from morning until afternoon today and he cooked me my favourite, as always.

Unfortunately, he had to leave early to pick his father up from the hospital after his dialysis. But my point is, I haven’t eaten in seven hours and if I was home right now, I would have been done cooking pasta for my dinner.

Hanbin is the one who’s late, why do I have to suffer?

I drop my chopsticks in surrender and take my phone out. Baekhyun hasn’t texted me since we parted this afternoon. He usually texts me when he gets home so I assume he’s not home yet. Maybe his father’s not feeling well, he always feels sick every after dialysis. I feel really bad for the old man, I wouldn’t want to have to deal with such kind of pain three times a week.

I wonder how much longer Mr. Byun must do it. I don’t know much about the condition, but I hope there’s an end to it sooner or later.

When that happens, not only would Mr. Byun have a better quality of life, but Baekhyun would also have a much lighter responsibility by then. I’d really love that for them. They’re very good people and most especially, they genuinely love each other, and I really envy that kind of family.

And I’m not going to lie, there’s been a lot of moments where I find myself daydreaming about … being part of that family someday. His family.

Now, looking at my family, I watch them chat about random things. People around the neighbourhood, gossips, and more things they have probably heard from Hanbin. I’ve been here for nearly an hour, and they haven’t, not even once, asked about me.

I mean, does “Have you been eating too many instant noodles lately? You look so bloated, my dear.”count as asking about me?

What can I do? My boyfriend likes cooking my favourite food for me. He doesn’t care if I get bloated, he actually thinks my chubby cheeks are cute. Scrolling through a series of messages I shared with him previously, I can’t help but smile as if it’s my first time seeing them again.

He is officially my new favourite obsession and I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of this one. I wish there’s a way for me to express them in words that he’d understand—how much he means to me. It’s greater than any feeling I’ve ever felt for someone.

He’s my best friend, my confidant, my … soulmate. I would have never put it that way before, I never believed in such mushy stuff.

But somehow, he makes it a reality for me.

“We’re here! Sorry, we’re a little late.” When I finally hear my brother’s distant voice, I make it quick to leave a message for Baekhyun. Once I’m eating, I will not be able to touch my phone because my mom doesn’t like it.

Hi, Baekhyun. I’m at my parents’ having dinner. How was the rest of your day? I hope your dad is feeling okay. I will see you at work tomorrow. I love you.

I make my text message as straightforward as possible before hitting send. Since I know I’ll be away from my phone for at least an hour, depending on how many stories Hanbin has in store for tonight, I want to tell him everything before hiding my phone in my pocket.

“Oh and we bumped into our favourite neighbour so we thought to invite him.” Hanbin’s voice grows louder making me look up from my phone. I do a double-take when another person follows behind him and Hara.

“Oh, hi, Baekhyun! Come sit, I will set a plate for you too. It’s good to see you!” My mom stands up and I just sit there dumbfounded as I stare at my boyfriend who is led to sit right across from me. What is happening? What the heck is happening right now? Why is he here? And why did he come with Hanbin and Hara?

“This is perfect,” My dad beams. “You know, since the last time didn’t end up so nicely for everyone, we’ve been really hoping to start again and catch up with you better, Baekhyun. Glad Hanbin decided to invite you over!” He says, indirectly apologizing for what happened at the party without actually apologizing.

I try to catch Baekhyun’s eyes but he always managed to dodge them. “Thank you, Mr. Choi. I’m glad to be here too.” He smiles at my father while lowering his gaze. There’s something different about his demeanour but I can’t read it. Ugh, I wish I was better at this.

Since I can’t seem to make eye contact with him, I decided to turn to Hara this time. She also looks quite … pale. Something is up and I don’t feel good about it. I don’t know what’s happening right now but the fact that my brother’s the only one who has the same smug smile on his face … I have a feeling that this is not going to be good.

Hara doesn’t meet my eyes and instead, looks up at my mom. “Mom, I don’t think Jisoon could join dinner tonight. He’s sleeping on the couch right now, he didn’t want to eat, he’s too tired from shopping.” She explains with a timid laugh.

“Oh my, that boy—that’s okay, we’ll feed him when he’s awake later. Let him take a nap, I know you guys had a long day shopping for everything.” Mom replies as she sets the plate and utensils for Baekhyun who remains mum. “Here you go, Baekhyun. Don’t be shy. Eat a lot, okay? You’re too skinny for a guy, my god.” My mother affectionately rubs his shoulders which makes him laugh while looking down. Once everyone was seated and ready to eat, I take a chance to stretch my foot from under the table until I am touching Baekhyun’s leg.

He doesn’t budge. He remains tensed and still, not a single glance at me.

Anxiety fills my throat and it becomes impossible to gulp them down. Not having any more choice, I take my phone out to text him. “Soobin, no phone during dinner.” My mom softly reminds me but I don’t stop.

Baekhyun, what’s happening? Can you look at me?

I hit send before hiding the phone under the table. “Sorry, mom. It’s work.” I make up an excuse. I hear Baekhyun’s phone dinging, but he doesn’t do anything about it. “It doesn’t matter. Have some respect especially when we have a guest, do that when we’re done eating, okay sweetie?” My mom reprimands me with a frown.

In the end, I was given no choice but to start eating. I don’t feel hungry anymore and I couldn’t stop looking across me.

This is just plain awkward. What is my brother up to?

As if hearing my thoughts, Hanbin suddenly clears his throat loudly. “I would like to say something.” His voice suddenly chokes and it’s my first time seeing this kind of expression from him. I realize I wasn’t overthinking it when my mother quickly reaches for his hand across the table. “Wha—what’s the matter, son?” She asks.

Hara looks at all of us, finally meeting my eyes. She looks … confused. I don’t think she knows anything about this. However, Baekhyun continues to stay calm but this time, he has set his utensils down completely.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter