40 | SWEET THING

Baekhyun

Thirteen Years Ago ...

This is my last high school fair. I should make the most of it.

I guess this is what about being a senior. Everything will be my last hurrah. I mean, I’m sure there’s going to be similar events once I enter university but who knows how busy I’d get, right? University will be different, it’s tougher and it’s more serious than high school. It will determine my future … my career.

And I doubt if I’d still have time to play and perform by then.

I don’t know what to expect and that’s what’s both scary and exciting. But above all these … the thing that the most is that I won’t be in the same school as Choi Soobin anymore. And what if I don’t end up going to the same university as Hanbin and we stop hanging out? I’d have no reason left to be a part of her life at all.

I will be out of Soobin’s life before I could even tell her how I feel.

Why do I have to be such a coward?

I see all these couples enjoying the fair together, walking hand in hand and sharing snacks they got from different booths. Why can’t I do that with her? I haven’t even seen her today.

I doubt if I will.

There are too many people all over the campus and she doesn’t really like crowds. Although, I have a feeling she could be hiding in the library or the school garden. That’s where she usually likes to hang out.

Should I … look for her? And then what though? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? I have zero reasons to be looking for her right now.

With my eyes half-open, I lazily watch my best friend talk to some female students asking about our band. We’re taking a break from playing right now since we’ve been playing since eleven. I’m here eating my first meal of the day, a whole unsliced roll of Kimbap, while Hanbin boasts about the many many instruments he could play.

One of the bassists, Taesun, left to have an actual meal in the cafeteria with his classmates while our drummer, Minsoo, sits beside me while talking to his girlfriend on the phone. His girlfriend is a university student three years his senior and I gag every time he uses a cute voice.

Ugh, what the hell am I doing here?

Why can’t I take a break too and have an actual meal at the cafeteria? It’s too expensive. Why can’t I talk to my girlfriend on the phone too, and use a cute voice? I have no ing girlfriend.

And my dream girlfriend is nowhere to be found right now.

“You look pathetic eating Kimbap like that.” Hanbin sits on my other side and playfully hits the back of my head, but it was hard enough to make me cough and almost choke. “Hey!” I glare at him, but he just laughs.

“Uhm,” I swallow my food before speaking. “Isn’t your sister participating in anything for the fair? I haven’t seen her all day.” I finally managed to ask after so many failed attempts of getting my best friend’s attention. He’s been too busy entertaining students. Honestly, I don’t even ing know half of the things he’s saying, he just loves to bluff and show off.

“Ugh, don’t remind me of that brat. I told her to watch our performance earlier but she didn’t want to come here. She keeps saying that it’s too bright—what does she expect, it’s broad ing daylight and we’re out in a huge field. She keeps making a bunch of stupid excuses to not support me.” Hanbin rolls his eyes as he leans on the chair.

I clear my throat. “Maybe it is … too bright,” I suggest. “Doesn’t have to be a stupid excuse, maybe she really does find it bright, you know?”

Hanbin flashes me a disgruntled look but doesn’t say anything. “I’m just saying—” I chuckle while looking away to hide my panic. “—maybe you don’t have to always take it personally. I’m part of the band but I don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to watch me perform. It’s fine, not everyone has the same music taste as us.”

“You don’t take it personally because you didn’t compose the songs we’re performing and you’re not the one singing, your position as a keyboardist is like five percent of the whole ing music, man. Of course, you won’t mind if nobody cares about your performance. “ Hanbin argues back with a smirk. “You can probably eat your stupid Kimbap while we’re performing and the song’s going to sound the same.”

It’s because he wouldn’t let me sing even if I sing. And he wouldn’t let me compose even if I compose. But is it going to make a change if I use that as an argument? Nope.

I share eye contact with Minsoo who seems just as defeated as I am. Sometimes, Hanbin just leaves me speechless.

Like … I have no words. It’s almost like a waste of energy to even argue with him. I know he’s the leader of the band and he’s older than me by six months which is like nothing, but he still makes it a thing that he’s the oldest in the band.

“Let’s not fight. Come on, man. It’s our last school fair.” I force a smile as I nudge him. Instead of giving in, Hanbin only frowns more. “You’re the one who started defending my loner of a sister. She promised our parents she’s going to watch me perform our new song and—”

“Okay okay, what if I look for her? I’ll bring her here, what do you think?” I try to brighten up the mood while patting his shoulders as I stand.

Hanbin yanks me away as he also stands up. “Do what you want. We’ll start performing again in five minutes. If you’re not back by then, I don’t care. As I said, the music’s not going to change without you. And you’re just wasting your time on my sister, I’m gonna get her grounded later anyway.” He walks away to go to our tent again where our mini stage is located.

“Come on, Hanbin.” I sigh as I frown in his direction. “I don’t think getting her grounded is necess—”

He cuts me off by strumming the electric guitar that’s plugged into the amp making me and everyone around us wince in pain. He does this while looking at me straight in the eyes with that prideful smirk of his. “What did you say, bro?” He yells.

I flick my tongue. “I said, you don’t have to—”

Hanbin strums the electric guitar once more, for longer this time, before stopping again while laughing at me. “What’s that? I can’t hear you. Baekhyun.”

I throw my hands up in the air. Ugh, no I’ve pissed him off completely. He’s going to be an to me the whole day now. Before our band receives complaints from another student because of what he’s doing just to get back at me, I decide to just admit defeat and walk away.

The thing with Choi Hanbin is that he can be cool at times, he can be quite funny sometimes and he can be nice on rare occasions. As long as you stay on his good side, he’s going to be extremely nice.

I’ve known him for over two years now, I’m used to walking on eggshells around him, so as our two other band members. Hanbin is like a brother to me so I accept his flaws, no matter how frustrating he can be. That’s just me being a real friend, right?

Meh, I’m sure he’ll grow out of it once we’re out in the real world as working adults. It’s just a phase. I like to call his nasty attitude, the Rockstar Attitude. I mean … I don’t have that but maybe it’s because I prefer ballad and acoustic? But whatever, we’re all different.

Anyway, on to my mission!

Not necessarily bringing Choi Soobin to watch us perform. I just … wanted a reason to go look for her. I don’t mind if she doesn’t want to come with me.

One of my two guesses was the correct answer. The library. She always hangs out here whenever we don’t have classes because of special events and I … always try to find a way to be here as well because, why not? I write the best songs whenever she’s around and the library is also the perfect place to concentrate while writing.

And it’s not like I ever joined her at the same table. I’m always staying far away, in a distance, just … looking at my inspiration, meters away.

But when I find her in there all alone, she was asleep. Books, papers, pens and a calculator were all scattered around her table.

It’s like she’s currently doing a group assignment except … it’s just her.

I shyly bow at the librarian at the front desk before quietly making my way towards Soobin’s table. She had her head rested on the table as she uses her fuzzy pencil case as a pillow. Hmm, convenient, I must say.

I inspect all the books on the table. They were all … mathematics books. Wait, what? Why is she—

I flip through one of them and there’s a name I don’t recognize the name on the label sticker at the front. This is not her book. So as the other five books beside it, except one of them that is rig