A/N: Okay! Let's give Jenlisa the spotlight shall we???

Chaennie subscribers don't worry, I am working on a multi-chapter fic (tripled saved to not lose my progress again ofc.) So keep you eyes open for that!

----------------------------------------------\

–I think I shut you out as a form of protection now there's an empty space that's growing in my head and in my home starting to show, I thought you should know.--

—------------------------------------------

 

There’s a rule.

 

A rule that Jennie made.

 

A rule that she dislikes.

 

And yet follows every time

 

“You are really leaving so early on a Saturday morning?”

 

Jennie stops in the middle of pulling her top over head, an inaudible sigh coming from her lips, before pulling the rest of the fabric all the way down.

 

Yes, she might’ve made the damn rule, but that doesn’t mean she had to like it.

 

And it’s not like this is the first time this has happened, it wasn’t; And it’s not like she had never left without saying a word before, she has. But she also knows every time it gets harder to do so, for a reason she honestly doesn’t want to think about.

 

Lisa is… well Lisa.

 

She’s pretty in the morning, even with her mess of hair and slightly smudged make up from the night before. It's these types of things that make Jennie question everything and say to hell with it all and simply turn around to tuck some hair behind Lisa’s ear and kiss her goodbye with promises of talking to her later, of seeing her later but she doesn’t.

 

Because that would mean Jennie has to uncover the pandora box of what this is and again she doesn’t want to dwell on it, that's a big NO from her part.

 

“Yeah, Mom wants me home for brunch… you know how it is.”

 

“Right, go live your fancy schmancy upper east sider life, Jen.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Oh, bossy. I like it.”

 

Jisoo has asked her a million times why her and Lisa don’t just go exclusive, because they do all the things a couple do, except without actually being one, but she finds that everytime she answers she doesn’t have a solid reason.

 

But she knows why, and Jisoo does too, even if she doesn’t tell her. Jennie is afraid of what it might mean for them because as soon as you cross that relationship line it’s very difficult to go back, if you even can, especially if things go to . Because honestly Jennie is pretty sure she wouldn’t know what to do without Lisa in her life.

 

And for those reasons, she’s out.

 

It’s been a year since this started with the excuse that they were both very drunk, but now a year later what reason could there even be? Except the obvious answers…

 

“I’ll see you again tonight though?” Lisa asks. “I know you aren’t working and neither am I, so.”

 

Lisa’s right and boy does Jennie hates how she knows, how they both know she will be back in this bed tonight

 

“You’re annoying and I don’t like you right now.”

 

“I know,” Lisa says, and then adds, “I find that really attractive on you though.”

 

—---------------------------------------

 

Lisa’s running late. As per usual.

 

Jisoo and Chaeyoung are running later.

 

Also unusual but it is annoying. And Jennie refuses to think about why they are late when she has unfortunately caught the live show on more than one occasion.

 

So now Jennie is sitting alone and the unthinkable happens. The woman Jennie has been trying to dodge at the gym appears at the opposite side of the bar. She has already told Chaehyun she’s not interested but the girl just can’t take a hint. She lowers her head trying to hide herself but to no avail as the girl has already seen her.

 

“.”

 

She turns around to move but when does she find herself colliding with someone else…

 

“Lisa?”

 

“Sup Jenduk.”

 

Jennie looks at her, she is wearing a leather jacket and the brunette’s fingers reach out and run over the collar of her automatically, it;s white and has tiny birds on it.

 

“This suits you.”

 

“I know. So are you gonna tell me why you looked like a runaway bride?”

 

“That woman at the bar,” Jennie says, and nudges her head back, “that’s the woman I was telling you about from the gym. I was trying to get out of here before she spotted me.”

 

Lisa looks back and sees the woman in question. “Do you need me to roll up my sleeves? Cause I can fight?”

 

Jennie smiles and shakes her head. “No but thanks for the offer.”

Suddenly, Lisa is pulling her close wrapping an arm around her, pressed against Jennie’s hair as she whispers in her ear. “Put your hand on my back pocket.”

 

“Huh.” Jennie’s distracted, because suddenly she’s surrounded by how Lisa smells, achingly familiar and sweet.

 

“She’s coming, so just put your hand in my back pocket.”

 

Jennie nods and leans into the taller girl, placing her hand on Lisa’s backpocket as instructed. There’s an odd feeling in her chest but she tries not to fixate on it too much because you’re better off just treating hesitation like seasickness. If you feel it in your stomach just look forward and focus on what is ahead of you.

 

The woman looks at them and then at Lisa with a jealous look, she pauses as if hesitating to make her move or not, ultimately she opts to leave them alone and turns around to go back to her friends.

 

“It worked!” Jennie said.

 

“Told ya’’” Lisa replied, turning around and leaning her elbows onto the wooden counter of the bar. The she turns around with a drink on each hand and a blinding smile.

 

“That smile.” Jennie says quietly. “You only smile like that for me.”

 

“I only do a lot of things for you, Jen.”

 

And Jennie, despite her denial, maybe wants Lisa more than any friend or no strings buddy should.

 

.

 

—--------------------------

 

“Jisoo, I think I’ve done something stupid.” Jennie says as she walks through Jisoo’s front door with a six pack of beer knowing this conversation would probably be heading down a dangerous road.

 

“What kind of stupid are we talking about?” Jisoo asks her from her room as if Jennie walking into her apartment without previous warning was an everyday thing.

 

The brunette plops down on the couch and lets out a resigned and weary sigh.

 

“Lisa.”

 

“Oh that kind of stupid.” The older girl replied, coming out of her room. “What happened?”

 

“It’s Lisa”

 

You know, sometimes you need to either go big or go home.

 

“Lisa? Your friend Lisa the one with the black hair or no, was it black? That Lisa?” Her mom asks.

 

“Yes, mom. That Lisa. What other Lisa do you know in my life?”

 

“Oh she’s nice! Bring her to the wedding with you.”

 

“Oh God.” Jisoo shakes her head quickly. “Does Lisa know?”

 

Jennie sheepishly shakes her head. “I came home and moped around here.”

 

“Well you better tell her.” Jisoo said, taking a sip from her drink. “Maybe this is what needs to happen.”

 

“Don’t start.”

 

“You were the one who encouraged me to tell Chaeyoungie how I felt.”

 

“That’s different.” Jennie argues. “You two are meant for each other is disgusting.”

 

Jisoo blinks. “You know, Jenduk, for someone really smart you can be really stupid.”

 

—----------------------------

 

Lisa is laying flat on her back, half submerged underneath a Mercedes that she’s currently servicing, she’s kind of done already but she needs to stay here for a moment, because her mind is going a million miles an hour and…

 

“What?”

 

Jennie is currently standing over her, looking downwards at her.

 

“You heard me.”

 

Lisa rolls backwards from underneath the car, and gets back to her feet. She gets a rag and cleans her hand and throws the rag absentmindedly somewhere around the room. With a sigh she turns to Jennie, hands on her hips.

 

“Oh I heard you.” She says. “I just didn’t understand you.”

 

“I need you.” Jennie says slowly, because this was weird. They were so in tune with each other that Lisa, not understanding her, was throwing her for a loop. “To be my girlfriend…”

 

Lisa looked at her expectantly.

 

“Again…”

 

Another look.

 

“Please.”

Lisa finally nodded and chuckled, Jennie did the same thinking that was the taller girl accepting to help her, except it wasn’t…

 

“No.”

 

Jennie’s smile dropped. “Huh?”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

The brunette frowned. “It’s not– like it– it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

 

“I know that.” Lisa bites back.

 

Jennie almost flinches at the venom on her voice because where did that come from?

 

“Please, I– we were talking about it and then my mom mentioned it and now– I– your name just came out alright?”

 

“Well get Chaeyoung to do it.”

 

“My mom knows she’s with Jisoo.”

 

“A lot of people go solo to weddings, Jen.”

 

Jennie gets closer to her, moving her hand to her arm. She can feel the muscle there and when she looks upwards she notices, Lisa’s has delicate eyelashes, dark and soft.

 

And Lisa, all she can do is track her eyes across Jennie’s face, lingering on before meeting her gaze again. This is a bad idea for her, she knows it, she can feel it and she’s not sure she’s ready to deal with the implications of when this thing goes sideways, because it will, she knows it.

 

And yet…

 

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

 

“You will?” Jennie asks with a bright smile.

 

“Yeah.” Lisa grumbles. “But only for the booze.”

 

“Thank you.” The shorter girl takes her hand and squeezes before pressing her lips against her cheek. “See you tonight!”

 

Lisa throws a smile in her direction as the brunette turns to leave, exchanging a quick hello with Chaeyoung who had just arrived.

 

The australian girl bids her goodbye with a smile before turning to her best friend with a pointed look and Lisa knows she just heard the ‘wonderful’ news.

 

“Hey.” She greets her, looking down at her shoes.

Chaeyoung walks over and leans back against the Mercedes, crossing her arms. “What are you doing, Lisa?”

 

And the Thai girl doesn’t know. “Helping a friend out. Our friend.”

 

The blonde gives her a pointed look.

 

Lisa sighs, deflating. She walks over and leans against the car next to her friend. “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just make a clean break from it and move the hell on for everyone’s sake.”

 

“Moving in isn’t always easy.”

 

“Yeah, but it should be.” Lisa says, frustration sipping into her voice. “No strings, nothing, that’s the rules. It should be easy.”

 

“Lisa..” Chaeyoung starts. “I don’t think you two have ever been no strings.”

 

The two remain quiet for a while, Chaeyoung with an arm around Lisa’s shoulders and the latter resting her head against her arm. It was nice, this comfort, the comfort from someone who despite not understanding her actions, doesn’t judge her but is always there for her ready to pick up if she falls.

 

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath suddenly and steps in front of Lisa, placing her hands on her arms firmly looking at her. “Listen to me.” And oh boy, she’s serious. “You love her.”

 

There it is.

 

Lisa blinks and then looks to the other side as she feels a gentle pain flood through her chest.

 

“Loot at me.” Chaeyoung says and Lisa does. “You love her and that is a great ing feeling, unless it hurts like this. Whatever it is that you are doing with it now, is not working. And we both know you have been trying to run away from it for the longest time. You need to make a choice Lalisa.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I love Jennie, she’s my friend, but I love you more because you are my best friend, so if staying apart is what you need then we will stay apart,if you want to tell the truth, you tell the truth and if it falls apart, I will be right there. But you need to make a choice.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And?”

 

“I will.”

 

—--------------------------------------------

 

“I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of doing this. We’ve danced around the issue of ‘us’ for too ing long, Jennie.”

 

In hindsight maybe she could’ve been more subtle, maybe ease into the conversation a bit instead of coming out with an ‘I want you’ right off the bat. Hell they had barely sat down and there Lisa goes starting the evening with a bang.

 

Now maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad had Jennie’s response been anything other than…

‘Lis, we’ve been through this, why would you want to complicate our friendship?’ She said it so easy, as if their current friendship was so ing simple right now and so Lisa snapped.

 

“We practically do everything together, we do literally everything couples do and I mean everything but actually admit it and now we are what? Supposed to be fake ing dating to keep up appereances with your parents when it would be so much ing easier to just admit!” She was nearly shouting now. “You know why my name came out of your mouth when your mom mentioned your date to the wedding?”

 

Jennie frowns, glancing around noticing a couple of the restaurant's patrons looking their way.

 

“I know it is scary to think what that means for us, but it's either right or wrong, is that simple and we are right, Jennie.”

 

The two stare at each other for a few seconds, the sounds of forks scraping plates, waiters walking round and delivering dishes resonate around them.

 

“Lisa, I don’t–”

 

“Then I can’t do this anymore.” Lisa interrupts and abruptly stands up. “I’ll be your date to the wedding because I already gave you my word but after that I’m out.” She said, dropping some cash onto the table. “This really is no strings attached for you, isn’t it?”

 

“Lisa, that’s not—”

 

“It is. It ing is.”

 

—----------------------------

 

Can a person feel empty?

 

Jennie felt like she could, there was some sort of emptiness in her chest. It had been that way since that night six weeks ago. But now she is sitting on the bed watching as Lisa unpacks.

 

It was tense, very tense. The drive over here was torture almost. And Jennie felt empty but then, then they arrived and the show started and when Lisa pulled her close and introduced herself as ‘the girlfriend’ Jennie didn’t feel so empty. It felt right again. And when she let go it felt empty again.

 

It’s only then that Jennie realizes Jisoo was right, she felt empty because she was accustomed to the happiness that came with Lisa and when she was gone it was like the weight was dropped off, it felt lighter but not in a good way.

 

It is also then that Jennie realizes that Chaeyoung was right at the end of the day, you either say how you feel and it up or say nothing and let it you up anyway.

 

“Shouldn’t you be over there with your family?” Lisa asks later when they are both sitting on an uncomfortable rock at the beach. Jennie’s family were playing volleyball somewhere behind them.

 

Jennie shakes her head. “I’m here with you.” And then. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

 

“There’s a lot of things that aren’t a good idea but we do them anyway.”

 

“I think that says a lot about us then,” Jennie says, keeping her eyes on the ocean now. “I want to talk when this weekend is over. I don’t want this to be what’s left of us.”

 

Us.

 

If Lisa notices she pretends not to. Creating ideas and illusions are not what she needs if she’s moving on. So she nods and rests her head on Jennie’s shoulder, deciding that at least for now she should try to save whatever is left of their friendship. Just for the weekend.

 

“Do you want to go in the water?”

 

“In the ocean?”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Before she can leave, Jennie is on her back with her legs around Lisa’s waist, her chin rests on the thai’s shoulder and is warm and soft against her neck.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Jennie’s lips press against Lisa’s neck and she can feel the noise against her skin when she talks. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

 

“I know.”

 

A short while later when Lisa decides she would rather play volleyball than stay in the water, Jennie realizes that her body sometimes feels without Lisa curled against it.

 

It all still feels like a dream really: soft sheets and warm skin against her own, soothing and luxurious and Lisa's arm is draped across her shoulders.

 

‘Jennie has a moment of fear that this really is a dream and that soon she will wake up alone.

 

“I missed you.”

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize. I get why you left. You were angry.”

 

“Kinda.” Lisa admits. Because she was kind of angry, but more than that she was frustrated and she was hurt. And she didn’t understand why something simple needed to be complicated.

 

“I kept wondering what you were doing. Lisa must be watching that new superhero movie. I wonder if Lisa is asleep right now. I wish I could go down on Lisa right now. Lisa needs to stop and eat right now. I don’t mean me but… well maybe me.”

 

Lisa makes a noise that tells Jennie she knows exactly what she’s talking about.

 

“Do you think it’s always like this?” Jennie whispers after a while.

 

“What?”

 

“This feeling in my chest and the flutter in my stomach, just… being happy around you.”

 

Lisa doesn’t say anything. She can’t and she doesn’t want to be afraid of what comes next.

 

“You make me happy.” Jennie says. Adjusting herself to look at the blonde. “I was afraid of what it meant, because you know I like structure, I like following rules and being you just threw me in for a loop every single time, and so I made rules.”

 

“I know, I remember.”

 

And Lisa did, After the second drunken night, Jennie woke them both up with an entire ppt about the rules they should follow, hell she was close to making Lisa sign a contract if it wasn’t for her forcefully yet consently for a round two.

 

“But clearly they didn’t work.”

 

Lisa lifted her gaze from the sheets to the brunette after that.

 

“This wasn’t a no strings thing for me, Lis.” Jennie finally admits. “But I was scared, because it sounded way too good to be true, it felt way too good to be true.”

 

“Then just take the chance, Jen.” Lisa tells her. No. She pleads. “I know you, inside and out, the good, the bad and the ugly and I’m still here, I’m in it for the long haul.”

 

“You’re my best friend, Lisa.”

 

“And that won’t change. We’ll just be… more.”

 

They way she said it, so simple, uncomplicated and so sure.

 

Jennie stares at her, noticing how the sun creates a halo around her, as cliche as it sounds. And just then Jennie realizes yet again, Jisoo and Chaeyoung were right, the risks, the rewards, the laughs, the smiles and the love - that’s the exciting part.

 

Because sometimes you have to fall. Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes you have to take the big risk and throw caution to the wind and leap into the unknown.

 

But if you’re lucky enough then someone will be ready and waiting to catch you when you do and it will all be worth it.