A/N: Chaennie Story, I was reading this book called "What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions" Is about this scientific theorist dude that literally answers pretty ridculous questions with math and one the questions was about soulmates thus this one shot was born, If you are interest in reading the soulmate part here is the link: https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/

Enjoy!

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What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?

—Benjamin Staffin

Why exactly does a relationship don’t work? What exactly needs to happen for it to stop working? Is it timing? Is it love or lack of it? Is it a chemical reaction? 

This were all questions Chaeyoung asked herself on the daily, because you see she was in love once, hell she probably still is. And she hates it, she hates it because she has to live with seeing the person she’s in love with every day, work with her, sing with her, dance with her, act as if it was all fine and dandy with her. Because did she mention said person is also her bandmate…

Getting together was something easy, really it was Jennie who did most of the work, she started flirting first, she asked her out first, she kissed her first. And Chaeyoung remembers accepting and saying yes to everything with a blush and nervous giggles.  The only thing Chaeyoung had done first in their relationship was asking her to be her girlfriend.

She remembers perfectly how she somehow managed to give Jennie a two minute speech full of stutters and nervous chuckles about how much she cared about her, about how much she liked her and spending time with her, about how she loves her smile, and her eyes and the way the older girl would look at her.  Needless to say Jennie ended her torment quick by chuckling and grabbing her by the cheeks to pull her into a kiss, the word ‘yes’ being said in between kisses against her lips.

Chaeyoung still remembers when they were happy, every time she walks in the kitchen she can’t help but remember those times where Jennie would get up to some baking and Chae would sit by the counter just watching her and helping her every once in a while, she still feels the gentle way Jennie would pass her fingers through her hair waking her up after the blonde had fallen asleep on top of the counter. 

She also remembers how sometimes before falling asleep she would grab her sketchbook and draw the picture perfect view of her girlfriend in front of her, sometimes she would wake up early just to sketch her while the brunette was soundly sleep.

She remembers the times where they would sneak kisses in between dance practices or photoshoots, or when they’d use to sneak out the dorm to go on a date without their manager following them everywhere. The endless teasing from Jisoo and Lisa, the late nights spent talking about their future both as a couple and as a group.

Back then Chaeyoung was sure of a few things…

1.- Blackpink would stay together for a long time, eventually they’d be successful enough to move out of the dorm and to their own house. In this house Chaeyoung would have an office space, an art room of some sorts. With tall ceilings and big windows to let the natural light come in. Jennie would have her own space to tackle on any craft she was currently into, since the blonde knew how much Jennie liked art and crafts.

2.- By this time Chaeyoung hopes she’d already propose to Jennie, the ring would be a floral rose gold engagement ring, she pictures the coffee table filled with wedding magazines and the free times on their schedule would be used to visit venues and decorators. 

3.- Kuma would probably have a new friend and roommate as Chaeyoung imagines by that time she’d finally get a dog of her own, maybe another fish as well. 

4.- Most likely both Chaeyoung and Jennie would have solo albums out by then, they would probably schedule skype dates whenever one of them would be on tour and late night calls.

5.- She would still be irrevocably and hopelessly in love with Jennie Ruby Jane Kim… just like she is now.

Yes, breaking up .

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Getting their own dorm with their families was a blessing in a way. Even if they were still living in the same building, having another dorm to go to when things got too hard, or when it was too painful to share the same air as the other girl was something Chae desperately needed. I mean think about it… how is Chaeyoung suppose to move on when she has to spend 24/7 with her ex girlfriend? Exactly… she couldn’t.

She still wakes up in the morning and turns to her left to find Jennie, only to realize the girl is not there anymore. She still walks out of her room and expects to see Jennie cooking breakfast only to remember the cruel reality of how things were with them now.

They break up on a Sunday evening the words coming from Chaeyoung’s mouth in fast waves with tears on her eyes. 

She says it was for the best, their schedule had become too grooling, both of them getting their own separate gigs, Jennie most of all having to travel to the point where they barely saw each other anymore and when they were on the same place they’d get home without even talking, it just wasn’t the same.

Chaeyoung knew something had changed, she had felt it. But she didn’t want to give up so she tried, she tried to accommodate her schedule to talk to Jennie, spend time with her. Their relationship wasn’t something she wanted to give up on, but boy did the other girl made it difficult. See the brunette always had a hard time communicating, specially when it came to her feelings. So after endless cancelled dates, endless quiet nights, Chaeyoung got tired of waiting, she got tired of trying.

So they break up, they break up with the promise of staying friends, because even when it hurt she couldn’t just stop talking to Jennie, not to mention they were still on a group together.

Chaeyoung didn’t want to break up, she really didn’t but her heart and mind tells her it needed to be done. So she has herself to blame for doing a lot of things while being suspended in time, all while Jennie seems to be doing somewhat okay. The blonde often wonders if she’s the only one who cries in her room at night, if her heart is the only one breaking into tiny little pieces just at the mere sight of the other girl. If she’s the only one who still feels the pull towards the other. 

Somehow Chaeyoung convinces herself that she is, that the other girl didn’t care, why would she? She certainly didn’t seem to care on those last few weeks of their relationship. When she thinks about that Sunday she remembers how Jennie was just accepting all of it, didn’t put up a fight, it was almost like she was expecting it which made things worse because to the blonde it meant that the brunette truly stopped caring. 

So Chaeyoung lets her go, because sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go.

It’s been a month since then and to say that things were awkward was an understatement, to the blonde it felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around her, trying not to mention Jennie’s name or anything that had to do with her, Jennie seemed dead set on avoiding her, Jisoo and Lisa always trying to cut the tension by talking nonsense or joking around whenever her and Jennie were on the same vicinity.  Going back to friends would take a while Chaeyoung thinks.

One day her and Jisoo are talking about first kisses, Jisoo says her first kiss felt like in the movies, although awkward, time felt like it stopped around her, like everything around them just vanished and it was just the two of them, she then says it feels different to what if felt like to kiss someone while being in love, she says although time still stops running she also feels safe, warm, at peace.  The blonde can’t really help but think that’s exactly what if felt like to kiss Jennie and how somewhere deep in the drawer of her bedrooms bedside table, you’ll find an old diary describing how her first kiss felt and she tries to not think about how her first kiss was with Jennie.

Chaeyoung is starting to feel like she might never get over her.

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The blonde wonders if she’s meant to say something or if she’s just suppose to wait until the other girl does. She looks up from where she was staring at her shoes to see the other girl leaning forward on the balcony railing looking down, as if the was gathering her thoughts…

How did she find herself on a hotel room balcony with her ex after two months of barely communicating you wonder? Well it happened like this…

They had performed at Japan for the release of their EP, management had thankfully given each of them their own hotel rooms and Chaeyoung as usual was starving after the performance, so as soon as they got to the hotel she headed up to her room to change into more comfy clothes and told her manager they were going out.

She needed food, yes, but she also needed the fresh air, ever since their plane landed she could feel Jennie’s gaze on her constantly, sometimes she didn’t even care that Chaeyoung had seen her look at her, then the older girl seemed to always be within reaching distance of the blonde which was weird. Since the break up their sitting arrangements had changed, Rosie on one end and Jennie in the other with Lisa and Jisoo in between, but not this time, no, this time Jennie took it upon herself to sit next her, even asking Jisoo to move once or twice. 

Jennie acting that way...as if she cared as if she wanted to be close her was confusing her to no end and it was exhausting. Chaeyoung mind and heart was going crazy so she thought maybe some fresh air and the distraction of walking around the market would help ease her thoughts a bit. Does the other girl not get she needed the time and space to move on?

It seems not, either that or Jennie didn’t give a about the ruckus she was causing on her mind because when she got back to her room Jennie was sitting by her door, getting up as soon as she saw Chaeyoung arrive.

Chaeyoung stares for a bit confused…

“I…” She clears . “Can we talk?” 

Chaeyoung continues to stare at her surprised, her heart beating a mile a minute, she takes a deep breath and finally nods wordlessly. She opened her room and gestures for Jennie to go in first, the blonde closes the door slowly and stares at the door refusing to turn around.

Suddenly she felt the other girls hand on her waist trying to turn her around… 

“Je...Jennie?” 

“Rosie… please turn around.”  She says softly.

The blonde gathers all the courage she has and turns around, surprised to see the amount of care and love in Jennie’s eyes, the girl is looking at her as if she’s the one who put the stars in the sky as if she’s the sun that makes the flowers boom in the spring and its too much for Chaeyoung to handle so she shakes her head and walks away from the girl towards the balcony.

So now here they are, Chaeyoung willing her heart to stay put and silently begging Jennie to be gentle with her.

“Jennie..what are you…”

“I read a book.” Jennie interrupts suddenly. “I mean Jisoo lend me this book… ‘What If’.” She continues not looking at the blonde. “By Randall something…this science guy that wrote a book answering ridiculous questions.” 

“O..okay.” Chaeyoung responds slowly and frowning confused.

“Pretty interesting you should read it…” She says still looking straight ahead before shaking her head. “Anyways… one of the questions he answered was What if everyone actually had only one soulmate? What are the chances of us actually finding our soulmate…”

“And?” She answers still confused.

“Listen to this…” The brunette responds and takes out her phone, opening her kindle app as she finally turns towards Chaeyoung, still not looking at her but at her phone. “Let’s suppose you lock eyes with an average of a few dozen new strangers each day. If 10% of them are close to your age, that’s around 50,000 people in a lifetime. Given that you have 500,000,000 potential soul mates, it means you’ll only find true love in one lifetime out of ten thousand.” She reads and then finally looks up to look at Chaeyoung.

“Out of ten thousand lifetimes you only find true love once?” Chae asks. “That’s… stupid.”  She said her heart beating even faster, deep down already knowing where this talk is going and Chaeyoung has a hard time not wishing to the stars above that she’s right and that this conversation is heading exactly where she wants it to go.

“It is.” Jennie confirms and takes a few steps closer to the taller girl. “Chaeyoung… I’ve spent this past two months hitting myself on the back for losing you, for not fighting for us, I’ve spent countless of hours wondering if maybe it hurt the same for you as it did for me, and then I’d stop thinking altogether because I felt that I had no right to hurt because yes you broke up with me, but that was on me…”

“Jennie…” Chaeyoung starts and its getting pretty hard to contain the tears in her eyes, her knees are buckling so she sits down on the balcony chair while trying to steady her heart.

“That was on me.” She repeats. “You made that choice because I didn’t fight hard enough for us, after I read that I realize that this is it. This is the one out of ten thousand lifetimes where I find you.”  By this point Jennie couldn’t keep her tears at bay, sniffling she suddenly kneels in front of Chaeyoung and takes both of her hands on her own. “Chaeyoung if I’m right… and God do I hope I am tell me… why does it feel like you still love me?”

Chaeyoung’s tears are now free falling as her voice cracks with her response. “Because I still do… so much.” She admits.

Jennie nods with a soft smile, one of her hands moving up to wipe softly at the blonde’s tears. “I never stopped loving you, Chaeyoung.” She confessed softly. “No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop and to be honest I don’t think I want to stop.” At this point the older girl sits next to the blonde on the bench and pulls her closer, the blonde’s arms going around the brunettes and grasping at her shirt pulling her closer. “I’m so sorry, Rosie.” She says against her hair. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you. I love you so much.” 

After some time the blonde has calmed down and pulls away from the brunette, the brunette once again takes the blonde’s hands in hers. “This is it, Rosie. This the lifetime. So please take me back.” She pleads. “It won’t be like last time, I swear to God, Rosie, I will do my damn best to make you feel loved, please be mine again.” She says, her voice cracking, begging, her eyes pleading.

Chaeyoung frees one of her hands and reaches out to wipe at the brunette’s tears. “One in ten thousand huh?” She asks chuckling. “So how does that work? Like in the others we just don’t meet or we don’t work out?” She asks not really expecting a response.”Guess we have to do our damn best to make this one work right?” She says with a smile, and she swears the smile she gets from Jennie can cure any sickness and fix any problem. 

She then grabs the older girl and pulls her in for a kiss, her tongue prying the other girls open, the hands at her waist pull her closer and she feels all of the hurt, all of the heartache, all of the what ifs just fade away. Truth is she never really stopped being Jennie’s.

7.53 billion people in the world. 7 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one.