A/N: This was written very fast and on my phone. So is a mess probably full of typos. Sorry about that.

---------------------------

Lalisa Manoban grew up wanting to be a Kpop star, she would have posters on her wall, would sing and dance in front of her mirror using her hairbrush as a microphone, it was very movie like but it was what she did. Later on she started going to dance classes and the feelings she got from there were like no other, she decided then and there that one way or another she would be a kpop idol.

It was her luck when one of the biggest companies at the time held audition on her home country. She hesitated and her mom was not to happy about it but she did it anyways, imagine her surprise when out of every one, she was the one who was chosen. This was the first step to achieving her dreams.

Next thing she knows she’s flying over to Korea by herself, it was daunting and she was scared, of course she was, how could she not, she was moving her life away to a whole different country where she knew nobody, didn’t speak the language and her parents were not there.

Walking into YG’s building as an official trainee was like a dream for Lisa. Despite all of her fears and insecurity something was telling her it would all be worth it. When she walks on her finger trail across the walls, looking at the pictures in the hallway, the training rooms, the recording studios, the rest of the trainee’s. She wanted to look at them, really look at them to make sure it was all real and not a dream.

Lisa met Jisoo first.

It was her first class and while everyone around her were talking as any other group of friends would, she was in the corner trying to remember the teachings of her first Korean lesson. This was common for her as no one was aloud to talk to her in any other language, so how can you make friends with someone if you cannot understand what they are saying and you can’t say what you want to say in their language, it was lonely. But it was okay, it would all be worth it. That was her motto, that was what kept her going.

When the teacher arrived and mentioned they would be pairing people up to evaluate their progress as a team, Lisa felt relief this way she wouldn’t be chosen last and out of pity, though she only hope she could get paired with someone patient enough to understand and communicate with her.

She was paired up with Jisoo and to her surprise the girl was nothing but nice, incredibly patient. After the class Jisoo asks Lisa to go lunch with her, they talk strategies, song options, dance moves etc… It was a long conversation but not once did Jisoo showed any indication that she was frustrated or tired to talk to her in fact Jisoo asks her to hang out later that same day.

And so their friendship begins, they work together on class, have lunch where they come up with ideas, choreography and finally practicing. Lisa learns Jisoo matched her intensity, matched her humor and crazy antics, match her desire to fulfill this dream.

Working with Jisoo and hanging out with Jisoo was like magic, everything was simple, their chemistry while performing was seamless. They were in sync, working off each other perfectly, Jisoo understood her, knew what Lisa wanted to say and relayed the same to the people around them, and in turn Lisa listened to her every time Jisoo taught her something new, writing down in her notes and making sure to practice it well.

Eventually their friendship moves forward and they no longer only hang out during lunch or after class, now, now Jisoo takes her to her family gatherings on their free time, invites her to spend the holidays with her, treat her as her own family. Then the touching starts, like any they hug, they hold hands, walk with their arms intertwined and Lisa starts noticing she actually craves for Jisoo’s touch, and that’s when things get dangerous.

Lisa has developed a crush on Jisoo, she knows it, she accepts it, but she does nothing about it. Why would she? Things change one saturday night as they are practicing it was stupid, it was incredibly cliche but it happens. She’s helping Jisoo with a dance position, adjusting her arms, legs and when she gets to her head it was like time stood still, they were close, maybe too close, close enough that Lisa can’t help but glance at Jisoo’s lips, preparing herself to go for it when their trainer comes in and tells them the practice room was reserved for somebody else.

Jisoo doesn’t look at her afterwards, Lisa notices that, and it affects her more than she could admit as when their evaluation comes she messed up, made a wrong turn. She still remembers the loud yelling of their teacher, the embarrassment she felt. Jisoo finds her crying at night in her room, lays down behind her and holds her close.

Things go back to normal after that night. The incident is not mentioned and Lisa’s crush get buried so deep into her mind she almost believes it’s not there anymore. Almost.

---------------------------------

She met Jennie second.

She had been around a lot in the same classes, she was friends with Jisoo and of course Lisa knew who she was, who wouldn’t know Jennie? But still they never officially met, until like with Jisoo they got paired up together. Lisa was nervous of working with her after all it was Jennie, YG’s princess, the was an insanely hard worker, and she was intimidating.

At first it was as easy as it was with Jisoo, they didn't really talk much about anything other than their training, they clicked, they had chemistry but they weren’t actually friends. They flowed together just like she did with Jisoo, and just like Jisoo she had a raw passion for this business, she could dance, she could sing, she could rap she was so good at it and for Lisa that was inspiring.

Working with Jennie improved Lisa exponentially, it was all you could do to get paired up with someone who has been in here longer than you, who had more experience, you needed to get up on their level to the best of your abilities. So she stepped up because she had to, if she wanted to accomplish her dream she had to step up. She got better, she got better because of Jennie.

After some time, they started hanging out more thanks to Jisoo, the three would hand out together a lot, Jisoo would help her with her Korean while Jennie helped explain things to her in english, she didn’t care about the no english rule, she didn’t care at all about what anybody said. Unlike Lisa did, she was a foreigner, could barely speak the language and sitting next to the other two she stuck out like a sore thumb. She was aware of the stares and the comments and Lisa, Lisa could only cry in her bed at night.

It’s all changed one day when they are walking to class, her and Jennie overheard a group of trainees talking about Lisa making fun of her Korean, of her body, ‘the usual’ Lisa thought, but Jennie didn’t think like that oh no, if there was one thing to know about Jennie is that she fought tooth and nail for her friends, she could be lovely, friendly but attacked one of her loved ones and you attack her.

Jennie makes sure Lisa hears her right, holds her hands and looks her in the eye. Tells her she is more deserving to be in this place than them, tells her they don’t know what they are talking about, that she’s great, she’s talented, a great performer, a great friend, tells her she has more guts that anyone here, that she was brave enough to leave her home to follow her dreams and that was more than any of them had ever done, that if there was anyone who would make it, it would be her.

Lisa starts looking at Jennie differently then. Starts looking at herself in a different way, and realized just how much it meant to hear someone like Jennie say she deserved to be here, to have someone like her believe in her.

Lisa starts looking at Jennie in a different way, and just like with Jisoo she buries it deep, deep down into her mind she almost believes it isn’t there. Almost.

--------------------------------------

She meets Chaeyoung last.

She still remembers the day clear as day a tall brunette, with a guitar on her shoulder, a light blue shirt that hung loose on her yet fit her so well. Skinny jeans and white vans. Lisa had trouble functioning like a normal human when she meets her. Chaeyoung says hi first, the thai girl will learn later on who much of a social butterfly Chaeyoung is, Lisa says hi back and the conversation starts flowing from there.

Chaeyoung tells her about Australia, tells her how she auditioned, tells her she’s nervous because even though she knows Korean, she’s not fluent in it. Lisa feels happy because at least there’s one person who understands how she feels, and so she makes it her mission to make sure Chaeyoung feels welcomed and at home. She gives her a rundown of the building, tells her the dos and don’ts, tells her she can have lunch with her if she wants.

Lisa is happy to know her and Chaeyoung are pretty much on the same level of Korean classes, so they make the agreement to practice with each other, Lisa tells her they can ask Jisoo for help and that the older girl was very good at explaining things in a simple way and that she was very patient when doing so. She tells her that if she wants to have a conversation in her native language (because she knows you tend to miss speaking in your own language quite often while living somewhere else) she can always talk to Jennie, who lived in NZ for five years.

The official introduction comes during lunch time, Lisa and Chaeyoung come out of her language classes and once again Lisa gives her the rundown of the cafeteria. When they sit down Lisa is in the middle of telling Chaeyoung her plans about moving to Australia if this didn’t work out when Jisoo and Jennie sit down. And it was incredibly just how quickly they clicked, when they least expected it they were making jokes and talking as if they had known each other for years.

It’s a great surprise when they get home and realize Chaeyoung is staying with them. Jennie asks Chaeyoung to play them a song on her guitar and she then one songs turns into five and it was like magic just how well they fit with each other, how well their voices merged with one and another. Lisa for the first time in a while felt like she belonged somewhere.

Things take a turn when Lisa starts noticing how in love with Chaeyoung Jennie is, the shorter brunette could not stop talking about her, when they were together it was cute to see just how smitten Jennie was with her. Jennie knew Chaeyoung was not acquainted to the cold that came with Korea’s winter so whenever she noticed her shiver, Jennie’s coat would be around her in a second, Jennie would never stray to far from Chaeyoung.

And then came Jisoo, Jisoo was more subtle but with an observant eye you could see she was just as smitten. Jisoo would turn softer when around her, gentler, the australian girl tended to go into her own world often ignoring the rest of the world, and when that happened Jisoo would keep a watchful eye on her, making sure she didn’t fall or hurt herself. Jisoo was always there taking care of her in the most subtle of ways.

It was cute how in love with her they both where. It was cute until Lisa realized she was looking at Chaeyoung the same way Jisoo and Jennie were. It was cute until she realized it was the same way she still looked at Jennie and Jisoo. And Lisa hated herself for developing this stupid crushes on her best friends. She felt guilty, she would feel sick to her stomach everytime those thoughts came to mind. Because the worst and most confusing part of all she didn’t know who to be more jealous of.

Lisa met Chaeyoung last, but crushed on her the fastest probably the very first moment she saw her in that elevator. She needed to put a stop it asap so she did the same thing and buried those feelings, so deep, and hide them so far away into her mind she almost forgot they were there. Almost.

--------------------------

This was never planned for.

Falling in love with a woman was never anticipated. (Lies, she always kind of knew.)

But finding love with three women? Well now that was impossible… right? And yet, here she is, completely in love with three other women. Who are her friends, her family, her bandmates.

Kim Jisoo who shared her dorky humor, who’s family treated her as if she was one of them, who made sure to leave her notes and letter whenever she was left alone in the dorm during the holidays, who was patient, who took care of her and who still does.

Jennie Kim who is shorter than her yet is so much more prepared than she is, who trained with her after class because she wanted to, who gave her advice, who stayed by her side, who defended her.

Park Chaeyoung who would always greet her with a smile, who was honest and sincere, who would always hug her and follow her crazy antics, who would always make her feel at home.

They were her constant, always there, always ready to hold her, always ready to be held by her. So when she realized her crushes had evolve into something more it was terrifying and the worst part is, is that she could see the changes in between the three of them happening right in front of her eyes, how the shy glances and the touches became something more, conveyed something more.

And Lisa can’t take it anymore so she starts keeping her distance because she loves them and they love each other but not her, not like she does. She knows that now, so she keeps her distance, starts making excuses to not hang out, to head out early, to come back later, because what she needed was space to get over them, to get her feelings back in check and back to friendship, because that is all they’ll ever be.

Because how could they love her? She’s a foreigner, she’s too loud sometimes or too quiet, she can’t really sing, she can’t cook for her life, her dancing could be better, she’s the odd one out in between the four of them, so she gets it, she doesn’t deserve them but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

It all blows up on a friday night, they corner her, lock her up in the dance studio just the four them and demand an explanation.

“We're supposed to be your people. You guys are my people. But now you've cut us off and and we just want to know why?"

Chaeyoung sweet Chaeyoung asked, eyes teary, jher heart on her sleeve as always, asked, looking at her, pleading her for an answer.

“I’m fine, it’s not personal.”

She tells them, grinding her teeth, lying again like she had done so for God knows how long.

“It’s feels pretty ing personal, Lalisa. We are not ing strangers, we are your family, we are in this together, so stop lying to us.”

Jennie, passionate straightforward Jennie asks, or rather demands. But she knows her, knows behind the anger it’s the hurt talking.

“Lali… just be straight with us, we understand everything is kinda overwhelming right now with our debut and everything so if you need time to yourself or...or if you don’t want to do this with...us anymore, then at least tell us why?”

Jisoo always the patient one, the level headed one, her unnie, her teacher, asks her, calmly not pushing but the edge of her voice tells Lisa she too is desperate for an answer.

And then, then like a boiling pot the pressure becomes to push and everything comes spilling out, in a jumbled mess between gasps, and tears and I’m sorrys her feelings come out tired of being pushed down for years.

“I love you… I’m in love with you… all of you.”

She tells them that and the silence that follows makes the room go still, she doesn’t look at them though, she can’t. She crosses her arms so tight as if protecting herself and looks at the floor.

“I don’t how, I don’t know when but it happened. And I didn’t know how to deal with it so I… I pushed you away because I needed to deal with it and… and I saw you in Jennie’s room the other night cuddling, kissing and I realized that I wanted to be a part of that but how can I? I get it you guys see me as a friend as that’s okay, but… but this is why I avoided you because it was the best way I knew how… to deal with it all.”

After all is said and done Lisa feels like running for the hills again, except she can’t move, because there is a dumpling sized human hugging her tight, who gives her a light slap in her back with her hand.

“You are ing idiot.”

And then a tall australian koala is hugging her too, keeping her in place along with the dumpling, her words muffled against her.

“We love you, in the same way that you love us, we didn’t say anything because you hadn’t showed or given us any signals that you felt the same, but you are our family, Lalisa, how could think you are not included?”

Lastly the most calm and collected person between all three of them, comes and hugs them all from behind, her words muffled against her shoulder.

“You have been keeping it all to yourself, haven’t you? I’m not sure how many times we have to say it but damn it Lalisa! We are here for you, your problems are our problems so don’t dare keep us of the loop.”

And just like that Lalisa Manoban finds herself surrounded by three beautiful pillars, one who talks to her about love, one who shows her love and one who teaches her about love. She feels guilty for hiding, for not talking, for thinking she was helping them. And as she feels so safe and complete surrounded by their arms Lisa notices that she has always felt like she belonged with them and that it was her own fear and her own insecurities making her think otherwise.

Lisa met Jisoo first. She met Jennie second. She met Chaeyoung last.

But when it came to love, she fell in love with them all at the same time.

And her girls? Her girls fell in love with her first.