Iridescent

i. When I met her the sky was angry orange, and I have a terrible headache.

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When I met her the sky was angry orange, and I have a terrible headache. I can barely squint properly and recognize the pale faces around, but I knew something big will happen that day. It's the prickle on the hairs at back of my neck. It was the angry ball of energy bouncing at the back of my head. It was hard to explain.

Everyone's busy like how everyone always are days before fashion shows. I remembered clearly how the smell of concealer, competition, envy, anxiousness and excitement hanged in the air heavily as I let out a painful guffaw. A good friend said something ridiculous and laughing was reflex. I pressed my head hard with my nimble fingers as I willed the laughter to stop, cussing in my thoughts. She was a shadow in my peripheral vision as I wheezed and she blocked my periphery all right so I pivoted in mid cuss, subtly.

She doesn’t have freckles was the first thing I noticed and that she was flawless and bright like a Barbie doll with black hair. I really loved freckles.

She was standing in the corner, timidly, blending with the jostle of people around as if she hated to be noticed. Ridiculous, I thought with genuine curiosity as I strained the bounds of socially acceptable. I stared longer.

Even the harsh light that hurts my eyeballs seemed to turn kinder as it caressed her face. It was astounding, and I thought I recognized her from somewhere but I can't point where or when, so I kept on staring and tried to remember. I tried harder than I usually do, but I still came up empty and my head kept on pounding. The prickling got crazier 'till the angry ball exploded as dark spots dance in my front of my eyes. It was more disorienting than the out of control laugh, but she was so beautiful, freckles or no and I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her.

Cold onyx eyes met mine. It was always embarrassing to get caught checking someone out when you’re trying to do it subtly, my cheeks burned but I kept the connection. Definitely beautiful. She looked down with a ghost of a smile on her lips. The room tunneled, I finally remembered her name. It made me smile to myself.

A touch on the shoulder broke my moment of triumph; my friend was saying something I didn’t understand. I turned to her unwillingly, grimacing at the harder pounding. She was eyeing me knowingly but she didn’t comment on my momentary daze, mentioning something else that was apparently supposedly important instead. I listened with determination, the urge to look back at the freckles-less beautiful was as insistent as the headache that won’t leave me alone.

It never did that day, and I didn’t see her again for what seemed to be two lifetimes.

***

The next time I saw her, it was starless, but the night was bright of blinking l.e.d. lights. I just had another pointless discussion turned into an emotional shouting match with a very special friend and I just want to replace the bad burning in my throat and the itch in my bloodshot eyes.

It was a party of someone I’ve worked with and I said yes even before she finished with the so yeah part of her invite. It was one of those many nights when people forget that there’s still tomorrow and that they promised that they will never again drink that much. It gave me the perfect idea about promises to be honest, so never mind.

I was mindlessly flirting with the person tending the elegant bar when someone interrupted us in a slurred shout. The few people I know in the place were either trashed or grinding somewhere less crowded so I didn’t make a move to know who it was. I didn’t even bother to turn as the girl I was flirting with left, thinking it wasn’t anything fancy, but boy I was wrong because I never forget the next few seconds that followed.

The person that came was apparently really drunk and the bartender seemed to be having a hard time hearing whatever it was so she leaned closer and I bit the insides of my cheeks at the dazed look on her face. The bartender’s jaw slowly dropped wide until she recovered. It was hilarious especially with the lights teasing her face. She seemed to forget her job for a few amusing seconds so I turned curious. I really shouldn’t have.

Two ladies were kissing in frenzy, with a lot of hair grabbing and a tad bit grinding. It was quite a show before they turned and my stomach dropped faster than the bartender’s jaw. The burning in my throat resurfaced immediately and it has nothing to do with vodka.

There she was, the freckles-less beautiful, the Krystal Jung, disheveled and intoxicated. It was hard to make out her whole profile but I recognized her. Her eyes were really hard to forget. The odd feeling of dread settled hard on my shoulder so I shrugged, politely turning away. I can feel her gaze as I called for the still dazed poor gal behind the bar. She moved in a jolt, smiling cheekily at me before getting the bottle of vodka that I’ve been gulping since I came.

Everything went on in a blur after that, but I remember how deeply we both sighed loudly as the show left for another venue, me and the poor still dazed gal behind the bar.

***

The sky was white when the first exchange of words between me and her happened. The first hint of cold was just starting to resurface and I was in a fair mood. My lovely dope friends and I were having an uneventful lunch, goofing around in a very un-model like manner. The snapshots we had that day were one of my favorites. I was sandwiched between the two towers.

Of course the clumsier of the two, the one with a very high pitch voice, has to spill something on my pants because there’s no fun when no one gets wet apparently. It was sticky, so I begrudgingly left the table for the restroom, waving off the oh my god I’m so sorry high pitched apology. I walked lazily, grumbling about the fact that it’s the wine she has spilled on me of all the beverage on top.

The short walk was over thankfully too soon. The room was empty and cozy, if you can call rest rooms that. Perhaps it’s the lights on corners that were slightly dimmed. It’s the yellowish glow matched the lonely mirror dominating the room. It seemed out of place and it made me stare until I finally noticed my reflection. I looked unrecognizable to me. A frown formed, rippling brows, the sticky pants forgotten.

I jutted my lips, feeling off, then wiggled my eyebrows, just to feel like I’m still me. It didn’t do the trick so silly faces followed. Tongue out, crossed eyed, ugly faces just so I can see the Llama I know. I was so close to seeing me again, when a soft giggle broke my concentration. My head snapped to the side, she was there eyeing me with amusement dancing on her freckle-less beautiful. She can barely hide her smile as she shyly looked away. My mind was blank and I am not me anymore didn’t matter at the moment.

Have you ever looked at someone in a millisecond, and you feel so attracted to the way their head tilt and the shadows dance on their face? It was disconcerting. The small smile on her lips was not helping the matters for me, but I didn’t bother to look away from her adorable shy face. The time didn’t stop, like the cliché romantic films I love to laugh about. It went on, and I wanna say dammit, but she was walking away and I don’t want her to, so I stepped in blocking her with a hello on my lips. Hopefully with no trace of awe in my face.

She was obviously surprised, jumping a little. I find it attractive too, and it made me say the dammit word in my head. I’ve always find humans beautiful in different ways, but not in a daze and not with the dammit. She bit her lip nervously before she managed to croak a hi back. Adorable. Definitely adorable.

It was awkward for a few heartbeats. She was looking at me, and I was looking at her with the dammit still. Her eyes we’re almost golden at that angle, I don’t know how that was possible. She was taller than me, and my neck strained.

“Err, Krys-tal right? Hello again. Fan-cy meeting you here. I’m Amber.”

I think I stuttered and I sounded so silly even to me. ‘Fancy’ . I held back a groan, pulling up a smile, suddenly conscious of my sticky pants.

“Yeah. Uh- I know you, You’re Amber, yes. I’m sorry, I was just and you we’re. Uh. It’s nice to meet you? Really I’m sorry, for…”

“nah, it’s okay silly.” I said in a hurry, thinking the words. Too adorable.

I pulled her close for my customary “proper greeting” although I didn’t embrace her like I normally do with new acquaintances. It was a really awkward slight brush of her cheeks with mine. I would have face palmed if I could but that was not an option when your nerves decided to get hay wired just because of a fleeting touch. To make it worst for my electrocuted sense, her shoulders were bare and my pants were sticky off all the days it has to be. There were goose bumps on her skin when I pulled away, I easily caught that avoiding her eyes. She probably noticed the sticky pants already. .

As if by divine intervention, her phone saved me from embarrassment. She reached for it, looking at me with big eyes, her apologetic look was seriously not okay for me. Really not, so I smiled timidly before going for the first cubicle. Waving slightly before the door closed shut.

I heard Minhyuk before the rest room door made the slightest noise. It was that same day I started feeling off whenever I heard that name.

***

I could see the milky way when we first hangout with each other. It was an ordinary night many more awkward chance meetings after the embarrassing first conversation. I was out skating aimlessly from an inspiring lost on a basketball friendly game. The gang was planning to go clubbing after another ludicrously expensive dinner that I bailed out of. A visiting relative was my excuse, not too ingenious but they let it pass.

She was there on the sidewalk walking stiffly as the paparazzi and some fans swarm around her like bees. The uncomfortable stance was obvious at my vantage point. I was at the other side of the narrow street, walking to a different direction. It was hard not to stare so I did, but I tried subtle which was obviously a foreign concept to the people walking with her. She looked so irritated of the attention and it was almost amusing if not for her obvious unease.

My left foot touched the pavement when we were almost passing by each other. Her head turned directly to my direction. Those unforgettable eyes have the pleading look on them. It was irresistible, so my hand shoot for her arm as I intentionally slid my long board to the direction of the nearest hyena almost throwing him off balanced. It took them by surprise and their attention turned to me. I hated their stares, those unkind crazed look. It made my stomach churn uncomfortably but I have no time to regret my decisions at that point.