"People photographs what they are afraid to lose!"


Nancy said to a scrunching Yeonwoo.


Yeonwoo was writing something and she was so immersed on it that Nancy can't help but to admire a focus Yeonwoo.

It is just too cute when Yeonwoo twirk her lips or smirk or bite it that Nancy keeps on stealing side kisses.


She did try to push a deep kiss but Yeonwoo won't respond, she remains stiff ignoring Nancy. So instead of being frustrated, she take multiple selfies of Yeonwoo.

Finally, she got the tall girl's attention through a raised brow and "what are you doing?"


"You're such a lover of words, babe."


"I am a lover of all kinds."

Nancy keep on taking pictures. Yeonwoo put her hands to cover her face, she whines.


"Come on babe, let me take pictures of you."

"What for?"

"I said it awhile ago, didn't I? People love taking pictures.

A beautiful view, precious moment, things they like or the person they love and afraid or don't want to lose. People photographs them just to wish they could cherish it forever or relive in that moment again.

So if you want to know what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph." Nancy winks at her.


But we still lose each other.



Yeonwoo sigh at the sad memory as she put down the frame of her and Nancy making a finger heart while wearing a couple pink sweaters. Clearly, she was cringing at that time but she can never say no to Nancy.

She lifelessly plop back to bed.



3rd day.

Counting it in her head as if she's looking forward to the day Nancy will come back. But as another day passes, it just become harder for her to breath.


She turns around and was met by an unfamiliar face. Yeonwoo smiled bitterly.


There's no one like Nancy.


"HEY!"


"The !"

The woman was surprised of Yeonwoo's yell that echoes to the whole apartment. She brush her eyes to fight the sleepiness but another scream from Yeonwoo makes her want to strangle the girl.


"Get out!"


"What?!"


"I said get the out!"


The said woman didn't move,confused.

Yeonwoo with all her strength, drag her up from the bed.


The woman quickly pick up her discarded clothes from a hot bliss they shared awhile ago, before Yeonwoo can throw her out .


"What the is wrong with you?! You're crazy!" She fights but Yeonwoo is strong.

The tall girl was gripping at her arms strongly, its like Yeonwoo's nails are digging in her skin and it's hurting her. The girl grunts.


When Yeonwoo successfully drag the woman out, she locked the door, sighing as she look at herself through the broken mirror. She's disgusting!



Abruptly, she open the fridge and took out an alcohol. She drink it straight from the bottle to atleast fill the emptiness inside her but she knows it was all futile, her tears fall again.


Because baby, even the drunk me can't get over you.


She just let them fall freely and continue drinking.

It became her only way to fall asleep these days, to wait for the tiredness that comes after the tears.



She never thought that losing Nancy would be this damn hard!


Yeonwoo saw it coming! She even practiced it when Nancy was still around.

She's prepared but it still damn hurt! She thought she'll be okay but it feels like she just lost all the reasons to live and what funny is, it was her fault that she have to die everyday.


She's a total mess.

Isn't it expected though? It usually what happens when a love leave in those dramas, they become miserable.

Yeonwoo always thought it was so clichè but look at her now.

She chug a whole bottle.
Alcohol heal wounds. Well atleast for a moment as she wait for sleep to engulfs her.





"Yeonwoo the girl yesterday complained. It was the 5th girl, please..stop it Yeonwoo."



She ignore Daisy as she drinks a shot of Zombie.

It's funny how her life changes before and after Nancy.

People used to buy drinks for her and she'll get paid by just drinking it, now, she pays for her own drink. There are still who buys for her though she decline them all, she's not within the counter anymore.



The alcohol lingers in and Yeonwoo walk to the dancefloor in where her target was dancing. She's been eyeing this girl since she came in. Long black hair, tall and damn that body that moves ily to the music, it suits Yeonwoo's taste so well.


Daisy just sigh defeatedly.


Yeonwoo smirks before she position herself behind the woman and starts grinding. She successfully got the girls attention. Yeonwoo smirks.

She push her body closer, her hands making it's way on the girl's bare stomach and slowly yet dangerously sliding it down.

"You're hot." She whispers in her ears.


Her hands play with the girl's navel and the woman shot her head back, leaning so close to Yeonwoo with slightly open.

Yeonwoo can actually hear silent whimpers and the girl was biting her lips suppressing a moan as she wraps her hand in Yeonwoo's neck from behind. Yeonwoo continued her wandering hands until it rests on the girl's waistband.

She smiled as she feel the girl was so hot and aroused.

Yeonwoo by ing the girls shorts and zipping the zipper down slowly.


The girl stop Yeonwoo's hands from going further down and face her. She grab Yeonwoo's nape and kiss her roughly. Yeonwoo busy herself by tracing the girl's perfect curves and kiss her back with an equal intensity. They both gasp for air.


"Seolhyun. And your hot yourself too."


God! This girl is so gorgeous and seductive.

Yeonwoo thought as she taste her lips again, biting it in the process. Their body was moving in a very slow yet pleasuring tempo. Yeonwoo can actually feel herself burning and getting excited.


The woman clings to her. Yeonwoo was proud of herself. This is better than all the girls she had for days.


The girl's kisses become aggressive. Yeonwoo likes it when a girl fights back, oh how she love a little challenge.


She put her hands to the girls waist and grinding it against hers to the rhythm she wants. Wow, they are actually at the same height level and Yeonwoo love how their body physically contact and fits. She's enjoying the moment when she feel someone watching her.


Probably Daisy. Daisy was worried, they're friends afterall but Yeonwoo couldn't care right now. She push the thought away.


Seolhyun put her hands inside Yeonwoo's clothes to her stomach, tracing her abs. Yeonwoo was so aroused but she stops the girl's hands that was about to go to her chest and stare at her intensely.

"My place."
And just like that, Yeonwoo knows she won't be lonely tonight.





But she was wrong! So damn wrong because there she is again in the middle of her dark apartment, drinking.


Wondering when will she be healed.


Sometimes she wishes that she don't have to deal with the aftermaths of her action, like you know, specially when she let Nancy go.


But losing someone isn't a one time event or occasion.


It happens over and over again, she lose Nancy over and over again!


She lose her everytime she lay in bed with Nancy's scent on the pillows. She lose her everytime she open her eyes and Nancy wasn't beside her. She lose her everytime she pick up the mug Nancy bought for her.

She lose her everytime she thinks of kissing her, holding her hands, coming home with an empty spaces between the sheets and by wishing she could tell her about her day. She lose her every damn time over trivial things and she knows she will never be the same again.


She wish the pain stop that day or atleast she have someone else's to blame but no, it was all her fault and she's dealing with it now.


That day, it was so damn hard but the next day was even harder. She knows it was going to get worse and she wasn't going to be okay for a long time.


She doesn't even know how long can she survive this.


Oh, I don't have you here with me
But at least I have the memory
I tried to make it through the night
But I can't control my mind
I'm just thinkin' bout you.



****************


Taeha stayed abroad for a month for some business and when she come back, she directly go to Yeonwoo.


Daisy calls her a week ago, the poor girl said she can't bear seeing Yeonwoo in that state anymore.


Yeonwoo was with alot of girls and each one of them complains after. Yeonwoo got involve with some fights and illegal races and Daisy also told her that Yeonwoo was spending money in illegal things.


When Taeha asks about Nancy, Daisy just answered that she didn't see her anymore and Taeha already knows what happen.


That idiot.


She punch the password and enter Yeonwoo's apartment directly but she was meet by a dark room.


She steps and a sound of glass was heard. She look below her and indeed, it is a shards of broken glasses. And it is freakin everywhere!


Taeha was familiar with the room and as she hit the lights on, a very messy apartment surprised her.

Bottles are everywhere, some are broken and some are not. Then there's scraps and left overs of a pizza and some foods Taeha couldn't decipher anymore.


She scans the place and found Yeonwoo, sitting at the floor leaning over the sofa with a bottle of whisky in her hand. The tall girl was staring at something and when Taeha follow her gaze, it landed to a one picture frame of Nancy and Yeonwoo beside the tv.


The frame seems like the only thing that isn't broken or dirty at this place. Great, even the tv was broken!

She can't help but tear at what she's seeing now.


Is Yeonwoo this wrecked too when we broke-up? She don't think so.


Yeonwoo become quieter and aloof when they broke up but not this wrecked. The Yeonwoo now? she's ruined!


She approach the emotionless woman.

"Where is Nancy, Yeonwoo?"

This got Yeonwoo's attention as her gaze diverted into Taeha.


It pains her seeing Yeonwoo like this. Her eyes are tired and lifeless. The bags under it clearly signifies that the girl have always been crying and lacking of sleep. Yeonwoo became even thinner and there are scratches and wound all over her body. But strangely, the girl was still so beautiful.


"Answer me, where is Nancy Yeonwoo!?"


She slap Yeonwoo hard. So hard she can actually feel the pain in her palms throb.


"What did you do?! What the hell did you do? Where the is Nancy?!" Taeha burst out in tears but Yeonwoo remains emotionless, staring at her.


"She's gone."


Taeha slap her again but this time, it was harder that Yeonwoo tilt her face to the side.


"What are you doing with your life, you idiot! What do you think have you done! Nancy, she fought for you! She loved you when you are the hardest to love and you just give her up easily!? You're a coward, you don't ing deserve her!"


The veins in her neck was showing as she shouts but she didn't care if it was the middle of the night and there she is, tired but yelling because she wants to put some senses up in Yeonwoo's small brain.

She knows Yeonwoo will do it but she didn't know Yeonwoo will do it easily, atleast she should've put a ing fight!

"She loved you with her all you idiot!" She grasp Yeonwoo by her collar and shake the girl strongly.


Yeonwoo's tears drop but her face remain emotionless. Taeha feels like breaking down by the sight of her bestfriend like this. She saw Yeonwoo so scared when the girl killed that guy before but now, Taeha can't exactly tell how to describe the girl!


"I--- i couldn't do a-nything. I love her too. More than much but-- I- there is nothing I can do. I--m weak. I gave her up!"


Taeha didn't understand the rest of Yeonwoo's words as the girl was whispering words now to herself like a mad person. The only thing she can derive from the girl's mouth is how she miss Nancy alot.


She look around the apartment and found empty bottles of pills and medicines aside from the bottles of alcohol. What the is Yeonwoo doing with her life, it's only been a month and the girl seems like she want to end her life.


Why did Daisy tell me about this just now?!


Taeha feels like Yeonwoo didn't just gave Nancy up, but she also give up on herself. And she knows her assumptions we're right when she stare at the girl in horror as Yeonwoo said the words ..





"I want to die."