The party started and it feels awkward to me already. Momo didn't leave my side and I know she's waiting for a chance to tall to me alone somewhere to talk. Even when I brought the food as a topic, she didn't even seem interested whatsoever.

Then while I am trying to avert my attention from Momo. I notice that Dahyun or Dubu is also looking my way but like it's not a sneaky way of looking. Instead, she seems comfortable looking at me as if it's normal to stare at people for a long time. Maybe being beside Momo makes us a TV show scene that's irresistible to ignore. You can tell I am trying to escape my position but I have literally nowhere else to run away to. It just that I don't want to talk about the past because it won't change the present me at the moment. It's just useless.

Also, I thought of Mina as a savior but then I remembered that it might be a bad idea. Because that would capture Momo attention and it would mean more questions to gain from her later on. Still, it's not like I can hide the fact that Mina and I have a history and not a total stranger as she might think about both of us. But for sure I can avoid it being discovered as much by not making it obvious.

Then we have the cute bunny sitting on one of the chairs at the corner. She seems the shy kind of person with her figure. Her eyes keep landing on Jeongyeon and you can tell that Jeongyeon herself trying hard not to look the bunny way. I just don't know what's happening at this moment. But what I know for sure, if Chaeyoung wants everyone to get along fast, we need at least to interact.

Now the girl with big eyes is just playing with Mina and Chaeyoung all the time. And by playing, I mean teasing for sure as I witnessed it before. Not forgetting how clueless Chaeyoung could be between them.

"Okay guys, before anything, I want you to see the rooms and pick one for yourself. Or at least have a look and maybe decide later. But note that it's going to be first come first serve basis." Chaeyoung said facing everyone in the room. "Let's go upstairs and have a quick look.

She leads the way and everyone moved from their spots to follow her. Momo was tagging along with me. Jeongyeon was followed by Dahyun and the bunny girl. While Chaeyoung was leading followed by Mina and Jihyo.

We stopped at the first room and we all entered to have a look. The light was coming through perfectly to show every edge clearly. It gives a refreshing feeling. It has two beds but I honestly feel that it's big enough for an extra person to live in. Maybe because it doesn't have a bathroom in it.

"All right let's go to the next one." Chaeyoung exit going towards the next room. she stood in the middle of the room ready to talk. "This room is already full, so if you were considering it, then sorry to crush your hope." Oh really, it doesn't look like there is someone living in this room at all. Too empty and clean for someone to be living in. "Jeongyeon unnie and Kyungwan unnie are occupying this space. Now let's head to the last one."

Jeongyeon gave a quick eye contact with the bunny girl and then followed tearing her eyes away. But wait, I still don't know that girl name. "Hay Momoring, the bunny girl name is Kyungwan? No one introduces us." She looked at me and then at the girl. Then she shrugged. "I have no idea. Just like you, that's the first time I see her. I wonder whose friend she is among us."

After going through all the rooms, we went downstairs to gather for a discussion. "Okay guys, let's all sit down in a circle." So we all followed what Chaeyoung said by sitting anyhow besides each other to form that circular shape.

Again, the formation is not really that strange. I feel it's really easy to read the atmosphere around everyone. At this point, I don't even know what I have put myself into. "Since you all saw the rooms now it's the time to decide which one to occupy. Put in mind that Jeongyeon room is already filled with Kyungwan in it. So you get to choose from the two other rooms that left. So, anyone?" Well, at least this time she pointed at the bunny girl which I am sure that Kyungwan is her name. "Oh, by the way, let's make a round of name introduction so that we all be on the same page."

Momoring raised her hands gesturing Chaeyoung to stop. "Were you by any chance running a company in the U.S.? Gosh, why so formal? I even could do a better job than that. We are not in a meeting boss." Chaeyoung scratched her neck out of nowhere, "sorry guys, I like to be polite when I am talking. Let's start with me. I am Chaeyoung as you all know."

"Um...obviously" Momo scoffed, then she got a glare in return. "I am Mina, nice to meet you all." In which Jihyo was beside her, "Okay penguin, you don't have to be so sweet like that. I am Jihyo, everyone." Then she gave a wink to Mina who obviously was annoyed. Everyone was giggling about their interaction. I think I should get used to them being like that. Even though Mina cuteness is not strange to me at all.

"Jeongyeon..." Wow, that was iconic. Short and simple. "Chaeyoung you need to learn from Jeongyeon. She's a tough one and I like that. I think we will get along well." Momo interrupted again gaining another glare additional to an eyeing from Jeongyeon.

"Um... I am Kyungwan." The bunny girl introduced so shyly, trying to hide behind Jeongyeon but still hesitating. I wonder if she's her friend, it just that the vibe it gives out, make me think that way.

"I am Dahyun but you can call me dubu." She flashed a big smile toward us, and when I say a big one, I mean it's a huge one. She looks like the expressive kind of person. "Momo at your service, except with food. Sorry I expect to be served regarding that." Momoring said shrugging her shoulder. I almost laughed out loud because of her. Like I really missed her silly self.

Okay now my turn, "I am Sana." Just easy and simple. Jihyo looked at Chaeyoung waiting for something after we all finished introducing ourselves. "Okay now what? Please tell me you have something in mind and we aren't going to stare at each other all day like that." Chaeyoung thought for a minute then her expression change as if she found what she was looking for.

"Do you all guys know about the Jitzu book?" I noticed that Jihyo was caught out of guard for some reason. More like surprised. "From where did that come from Chae?"

"Jihyo. Remember when we were in the woods? We had a similar gathering and we had fun talking about the book. So I thought it would be a great communication tool for all of us. What do you think Mina?"

Mina nodded, "yeah, I really love that book so much. I think it's a great idea to seize. I am going to grab it." She left Chaeyoung side and headed upstairs to find the book I guess. Jihyo gave a big sigh. I wonder if she doesn't like the book they're talking about. "So, this book is full of short poems. It's famous for the relatable feeling it gives for readers. Literally, any poem could refer to you in a way or another. Last time we played it in the woods with Mina, Jihyo, Momo, Jeongyeon and me of course."

"Yeah, only for us to discover that there is a person missing and we had to go help in searching for them. This really could have gone wrong any moment at that time." Momo added. That actually reminds me. I was also in the woods recently where I had my break down. I was planning to relax and breath my way out of all that's been piling on my shoulder. But guess what? That bastard had to come back again and make me do things that I don't want to be involved in. It's like I don't get a chance to free my mind at all. I am beginning to believe that I have done something bad in my past life for me to get cursed like this. I am not sure for how long I could keep up the act before I collapse. For sure not now though, if I can't do it for myself, I had to do so for my family.

"Sana, you okay there?" I snapped out of my thoughts when Momo voice crashed in. I looked at her in the eye and she looks really concerned. "Yeah, I am okay Momoring. Everything is okay." I gave her a small smile as an assurance but I know she won't buy it. I turned my attention to face Chaeyoung trying to change the topic. "So, what are we exactly trying to do with the book Chaeyoung?"

"Well, you could call it a moment of truth. There are some poems in the book that's a little long and contain more lines. I was thinking to read one of those and try to share our inner thoughts. It will help get an idea of what kind of experience we all might have gone through." Such a thing actually exist! Mina reached beside Chaeyoung and sat down handing the book to her.

"Jihyo, how about you open the book randomly and read the first poem that has more lines than usual?" She handed her the book and it seems that Jihyo is a little not comfortable with the request. "Okay," is all she said softly that even Mina was a bit concern of what's happening. I mean, how hard it is to read a poem? Come on. It's not like it will hunt down the precious memory that you wouldn't want to share with anyone. Well, as long as you don't make it visible, everything should be okay I guess.

She went ahead and opened the book and we are all waiting silently for her to read. It's kind of exciting but enters little fear within your heart. Jihyo eyes were fixed at one angle on the book not moving anywhere else. Her eyes seemed a little sad somehow. "Here goes nothing," she said before she hit us all with the words.

"Remember, December"

She's saying every word gently, slowly to get swolled by our ears.

"The day I said Goodbye"

I remember that day clearly like yesterday. I couldn't say my farewell properly. Got your heart broken and walked by without looking back. 

I could feel Mina eyes staring on me.

"Dead expectations, I was aiming so high"

What was I expecting when I chose to help you. At the time, I was aiming to remove the danger from your side, but I end up being the one in danger. I regret nothing... Nothing but hurting you...

"Peace I found on you, until you took it and flew by"

My head dropped down, staring at my hands. You can't imagine how much easy life looked in my eyes after meeting you. It was dark and empty. You made it shine and filled it with colors. I was the one who broke everything... Broke us...

"Would I be able to say 'Hi'? Cause I no longer going to be shy"

Who would have thought that you would approach me again? You became such a brave women. You used to be so shy in the beginning but you opened up later and now you're even much stronger. The way you were speaking to me that day, took me by surprise. I never imagined that day coming, but it did.

"Come get in my sight, come in complete my night"

"The worst thing I ever did, letting you go without a fight"

How would I enter a losing fight. There was no other way for me to avoid such ending. I had to do it for my family. I didn't want to drag you down with my issues. I kept you safe, far away, hoping that I won't get to see them again.

There was no more sound coming out of Jihyo, and there I snapped out quickly from my deep thoughts. I raised my head to look her way and she was stilling looking at those words probably. I could see regrets through her eyes. I looked around at each and every one of us. Almost all had the same look except for one. The bunny seems more like confused in a way. As if she's searching for something in her mind.

"Okay everyone, that was it for this poem. I bet we all were able to at least relate to one line if not even all. Now my question is, have you ever had to say goodbye to someone? It doesn't have to be verbally." Chaeyoung raised a hand after stating her words, indicating that she has gone through such thing before. Momo suddenly cling her hands on my shoulders bringing me closer while bouncing with a bright mood. "Well I had to bear the fact of this girl leaving me without a word. But it doesn't mater anymore, because she's now in front of me and I won't let her escape again." She gave me her warmest smile and I did the same. 

After that, everyone seems to follow and raise a hand including me, except for Kyungwan. All our attention was on her as her expression seems a little disturbing. Dahyun was sitting on her left tried checking on her. Even Jeongyeon seemed a little worried. "Are you okay?" She looked at her with same eyes without blinking. Then she just averted her eyes to face her hands. "I just...can't seem to remember if I did had some experience. It's..." She leaned a little to the right as it seems that she got dizzy a little. Dahyun took a hold of her as soon as she saw her leaning. "Did you eat before you come here?" Jeong spoke firmly after her attempt to catch her before dubu did immediately. She shock her head answering the question, "I will get her to lay in the room upstairs if you don't mind Ms. Chaeyoung?" 

"Call me Chae please, this house is for all of us now, make yourself at home. Let me help you." And that's how almost everyone followed those two to the room leaving me and Momoring along with Jeong in the living room. She was looking at them going upstairs until they disappear. 

without a word or an eye contact, Jeong walked toward the kitchen and I followed her moves with my eyes.. She started getting some stuff out the fridge and placed them on the table. I looked at Momo and then we both moved toward her. She placed everything on a tray. It was a jelly along with a piece of cake. Then she went again and grabbed a Vita500 drink as well. I think I know what she's trying to do. Sugar is the best for the bunny at the moment, I was smiling thinking how thoughtful she is. "Please don't smile like that." I was surprised when she spoke to me. Is she shy?...How cute <3

"Would you mind bringing this to the...Uhm ...her...please..." Oh I am not going to do that for sure. For some reason she doesn't want to interact with the bunny but she has a soft spot for her and I could see that. "How about we all go upstairs to join the rest? What do you think Momoring?" I gave her a wink to follow along. Even though with the confused look, she did play a long. "Yeah let's do that. Come on."

I get a hold of Momo hand and start walking toward the stairs. We get a hold to see if Jeong is following and indeed she was. Now I only have to kick everyone out of there to leave them alone and it would be mission accomplished. 

We reached the room and they were all around her trying to figure what's going on. "Guys, let's leave her so that she could breath. Joeng brought her some food that. I am pretty sure that she will be okay after getting some sugar. Let's go." Everyone gave me a nod and start getting out giving Jeong a space to get in. "Be nice." Dubu said to Jeong while she was leaving. 

"Hay, I am not heartless." She gave her an annoyed look. "I know you aren't. You holding this in your hand is more than enough prove. I trust you, I just wish you get let loose sometimes." She patted her shoulder while passing by her side. I followed a long with everyone wishing for the best. 

Reaching the living room. I saw Momo finally in kitchen searching for food. "The rest are playing games in the room there if you would like to join." Chae spoke getting my attention. Mina was beside her as well. "It's okay, I would like to take a look around the house if you don't mind?"

"I already said make yourself at home." With a welcoming smile exchanging gratefulness, I left them to start my journey of discovery. I took a little tour in the house without entering any room, just to familiarize myself with it. Then I went out to have a look on the exterior view. 

I reached the backyard and the sun was about to go down. That orange dark color mixing with the dark gray sky. It looks be..."Beautiful isn't it?"...

I know who that is, I can't mistake her voice at all. Still lingering in my head since out first meet. I kept silence as I found peace on this moment. "We used to sit sometimes by the river and watch the sun going down slowly. It used to refresh our soul back then." Again, I didn't say anything. 

Our relationship used to be soft and full of innocence.  You wouldn't imagine how simple and satisfying it was. I would be lying if I say I didn't miss it... Us...

"Sana..." Here is she coming with seriousness. "Are you okay?"........

I turned her way, I am really confused. From where did that come from? I thought she's going to ask another question instead. "What do you mean Mina? I am fine as you can see." She shook her head, "I didn't mean it that way. I meant, are you doing okay? Your family? Your situation, is it the same as back then? Do you still need help in anything?" I turned away from her, "I am doing okay, don't worry. Things are still the same, but the end is very near. Just a little bit more and I... we will be fine after that."

"So, you're not fine after all..."

"Mina...we are not friends anymore. Don't worry about me and let it be. That soft side of yours is what bring you trouble all the time. If you weren't that easy, none of this would have happened." Now I am sounding angry. God I don't want this to happen now. I need to leave before I spill everything. Looking at her she seems confused. 

I start walking away from her. But then she got a hold of my hand. "Don't run away without explaining. Being concerned never a bad thing." I took my hand back and faced her, "I wasn't referring to that. Remember how you used to say yes to everyone and always nice to others around you. That side of you captivate others but in the same time started a fire. If you want to blame anyone for what happen, blame yourself for it."

And just like that I left her there standing alone while I am heading inside somewhere away. I didn't mean to hurt her, but that was the truth. What I did back then was for her own sake. I tried to save her from those people. They wanted to trick her and play with her feeling because she was an easy target. 

Those girls back then where just jealous with their boys. They wanted to play a game on her and her heart and it was just a coincidence that I heard it back then. Didn't know what got into me to interfere when I was just trying to live peacefully away  from trouble. I took the matter in my hands and I was able to screw their plan. I thought it was the end, but feeling for her born in my heart and I got used to her around. 

Never know she would say yes to me, but she did. When I thought they would leave her alone after getting a partner, they came again to ruin her through me.

Look at me now, I am hurting her. What makes me any better. If I told her the truth, she would feel bad. And I would have to tell her about my actual situation regarding my family. That's why I am holding back and trying to run away from her.

I just hope that staying her won't break here or even me.

----------------------------------------

Merry Christmas everyone. I was determined to give you all an update as I was away for a long time. I was working on this during my work hours adding small pieces everyday. I know that my story is not the best, and it's mostly depressing, but it will get better soon. Wish you all a good time with family.