To Mr Xu Minghao

Today, I saw you.

You were with the sunshine guy again. This time, it was only the two of you and I was a little relieved.

Alright, maybe more than a little.

You two walked side by side, hands brushing against each others, faces inches apart as you whispered words to each other, your heads tilting back in sync as your laughs chorused together, all the while you two walked quite close to one another.

You looked so happy, Xu Minghao, that it made me feel a little better.

It warmed me that you were happy.

But I was jealous.

I am jealous.

How can other people make you laugh so brightly and smile so beautifully when I cannot even find the courage to approach you.

My dear dongsaeng, your Hyung has no courage; no guts.

You're better off not knowing I exist anymore.

You're probably better off having forgotten me and although it will hurt, I will manage.

Sometimes I think that I do deserve this, after all.

Written to you
With love
Lee Jihoon.