Sooyoung walked in with a smile, as always. ''Auntie! Are you feeling better now?'' She rushed to the counter, looking expectant at the woman behind it.

''Oh, Sooyoung-ah. Yes, yes, I'm much better. Thank you for the medicines.'' She smiled tenderly. Vivi's mom looks like Vivi. Sooyoung finds her cute too.

Sooyoung's smile fades when she notices Vivi staring at the rink with a box full of roller skates on her arms. The boy must be here. But today is their day. They're suppose to play bowling and drink smoothies, then go up to Vivi's house and watch a movie at her room. That's how Saturdays works. No boys, no people, just the two of them. Sooyoung gave her a smack on the playfully and Vivi came out of her trance, yelling and turning to look at the taller girl with a frown. Sooyoung thinks it's cute. She smiled innocently, Vivi's frown increased. ''You .''

''Says the one staring at her customer for three minutes straight. Can you see through his t-shirt or what?'' Vivi's face became red, Sooyoung chuckled, it sounded kind of bitter, because it wasn't her the one making Vivi blush. At least she managed to get her attention.

///

Sooyoung thought her anxiety would never be back. Last night prove her wrong as she had an attack, it was bad, she vomited too. But there was no way she was going to tell anyone about it. Seeing how the mysterious guy smiled at Vivi and she got all shy just made her feel worse. She's gonna change his name for 'jerk'. It's decided.

She knows Heejin has notice her sudden change of behavior. Heejin always notice things first, she's fast and sharp with that kind of things, because since she isn't good talking, she watches. Sooyoung wasn't doing too well on the dance practice, and that was a new thing. ''Unnie, you're acting weird lately.''

Sooyoung took a long sip from her bottle and placed it back on the floor, turning her head to look at Heejin, raising an eyebrow. ''What do you mean, Heejinie?'' She knows what she means, but also, she doesn't want to talk about it.

''You've been distracted.''

''I'm just lacking a little of sleep, don't mind me, I'll take a nap when I get home.'' She smiled. Heejin knows it's fake.

''It's been two weeks.'' Sooyoung tilted her head innocently. Actually, for her it feels like it's been a whole year. ''And you're still acting weird.''

Sooyoung sighed, sitting with her back against the wall and flipping her hair to one side. ''Do you believe in God, Heejin?''

''I mean… I don't know. I've never thought about that…''

''I don't.''

''Uhm. So, you're acting weird because you don't believe in God?''

Sooyoung smiled tenderly. ''You are talkative today, huh?'' Heejin lowered her head in embarrassment. ''It's okay. I like your voice.'' She made a pause. Was it a good idea? Probably it wasn't. But she never has good ideas anyways. ''I'm gay.''

It was quick and short, it's always better to say things like that. Heejin blinked twice in surprise, Sooyoung was smiling bitterly. Heejin always knew her happy attitude was just a cover, people tend to wear masks to protect themselves. Sooyoung's mask is strong, but it's breaking. ''I know.'' Was all she said and Sooyoung's tears fell unintentionally, even if she was trying to wipe them. Heejin kneel down and hugged her tight. ''Unnie.'' The older hummed in response, her face hiding onto Heejin's neck. ''I still love you the same.''

It's been the first time Heejin says 'I love you' to someone, and she doesn't regret it.

///

Vivi has been doodling on her notebook the whole recess. Sooyoung grabbed it without warning to look the draws. ''Oh… god, you're cringe worthy.''

''Give it back!'' Vivi stood up from her chair, trying to reach the notebook, but Sooyoung handle it with her hand in the air. Vivi pouted. Sooyoung melted a little, just a little. ''Yaaaah, don't be a pain in the and give it back.''

''Why? Are you ashamed of those hearts? Or maybe of the 'Kahei likes Yoo-'' Vivi covered with both hands and a big frown on her face. Sooyoung it.

The shortie put her hands away with a disgusted expression. ''Ew.'' Sooyoung smiled and grabbed the girl by the waist with one hand, pulling her closer and giving the notebook back.

''There you go, princess.''

Vivi chuckled and took the notebook. ''Weirdo.'' Yeah, Sooyoung wasn't expecting a compliment, a cute insult was music for her ears too, anyways. The bell rang, Vivi's eyes widened in surprise, she didn't noticed the time. ''We're late!'' She grabbed Sooyoung's hand and ran, Sooyoung doesn't complain, she just follows her.

Vivi's hands are so small and soft. She doesn't want to let go.

///

She's tired.

''Are you giving up?''

''No.''

It took her less than a second answer Heejin's question. There was no way she would ever give up on Vivi. She needs a plan. Vivi is clueless, but Sooyoung can't express herself freely like she wants to, she can't say 'I love you' outloud that easily and when she does, Vivi thinks she's talking about friendship, of course. Maybe three years ago she could still think about her like a friend, but not now, there was no going back.

It was all or nothing. And Sooyoung is afraid.

It's there a way of seducing Vivi? Maybe seduction wasn't the answer, but that's the only way Sooyoung knows. Because she doesn't think she's that much, she thinks of herself like a selfish and arrogant person, someone you don't want to deal with. A coward. But hell, she knows how pretty she is, if not, how else were all the guys at school crushing on her? Oh wait. They didn't. They just like her face and body ratio. People love thin waists, Sooyoung thinks they're s.

I may be getting crazy.

The headache and the anxiety are back with the insomnia as a plus.

Am I that ugly?

Everyone seems to fall for me except her. I guess falling for your best friend it's not easy.

Heejin told me to write down, she said it'd help me. I wonder how is this going to help on any way.

I want to scream to the world how badly in love I'm with her.

How soft her skin is, how small her hands are, how beautiful is her smile.

How cute she's when she gets shy. (Or upset).

Hell, I'm so whipped.

Am I asking for a lot? I don't think it's much.

Mom always says God choose our fate before we're born.

I want to know where that God is so I can ask him myself. Did I ever do something wrong to you?

If you're messing up with me because I did something, then I'll apology. If you are just playing, I want you to know I can play too.

Fate is bull. And I'm going to prove it.

I'll get the girl.

From Yves to Dear ing God.

P.S: I know you're bull, too.