Sungmin POV

I opened my eyes to the familiar, worried faces of my fellow members - Siwon, Heechul, Shindong, and Ryeowook.  As soon as my gaze met theirs, the room erupted into accusatory yells, pained sobs, and gasps of relief.

"Lee Sungmin, are you ing crazy?!  Or are you just stupid?! Why would you do this?!  I swear, once you get better, I'm going to kill you!"  Heechul's face was bright red, angry frustration masking his face.

"Sungmin!" Ryeowook wailed, covering his face with his thin hands, hunching over and sobbing into my chest.  "I was so worried!  Why did you have to hurt yourself?  Are you feeling alright?  Do you need anything?"  He quickly wiped away his tears and let his hands flutter around me, continuing to inquire about me condition.

"Hey," Siwon said grimly, though the relief that hid under the surface of his voice was evident, "How are you feeling?  We've all been very worried about you.  Leeteuk got released.  He's been by your side every minute up until about an hour ago.  They left to go check on Kyuhyun.  Kyuhyun's surgery should have ended.  We're still waiting for them to come back."

It took me a while to form the words that I wanted to speak.  Every time a word formed in my mind, it slipped off my tongue and refused to come back.

"K-Kyuhyun.  Is he...alive?"  My timid question sounded weak, due mostly to my fear of the answer I would get.  This earned me all of their sympathetic glances.

"Relax," Heechul said.  "He's alive.  He had to go in for surgery.  I'm sure he's fine, though.  I'll call them and see."  He turned to grab his phone from the small chair that sat in the far corner of the room.  "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook, though.  I'm still going to kill you."

"Don't say that!  He just woke up!  You shouldn't threaten people when they're still recovering!"  Shindong glared at Heechul, looking about ready to punch him.

I looked at Ryeowook and smiled in spite of myself, his shocked expression and Shindong's reprimanding making Heechul grunt in disbelief as he turned away to the window, his phone pressed tightly to his right ear.  The relief I felt was overwhelming.  Kyuhyun was alive.  Kyuhyun, my reason for living, was still alive.  The sound of his name ringing in my mind made my heart want to fly.

"Sungmin," I turned my focus to Siwon's voice. He sat himself down on the edge of my bed, his face free of nothing but seriousness and expectance.  "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"  I couldn't think straight; not when all I could focus on was the fact that Kyuhyun was still in my world, where he truly belonged.

Siwon's eyes narrowed and flicked down instantly to my arms, which I just realized were bandaged thickly; so thickly, that I wasn't able to move them.  I suddenly remembered the events that had occurred before I slipped out of consciousness.  Images and memories flashed around in my head.  Pieces of glass.  The white glint of my own bone.  Blood.

"Oh."  Siwon's eyebrows were beginning to disappear into his hairline, looking at me with an expression of pure reproach and disbelief.  "I...I know it was stupid.  I just thought Kyuhyun was...dead.  I couldn't think of bearing to live in a world without him.  I just...wanted to remind myself of the fact that I was alive.  Because I deserved pain.  I deserved to be hurt if Kyuhyun was dead."

Hearing myself verbalize my intentions, I sounded ridiculous.  My reasoning was beyond any sane comprehension.  Siwon seemed to agree with me.

"Sungmin, that makes no sense."  His voice begin to take on an angry edge.  Siwon rarely got enraged, but when he did, it was best to stay away from him.

"I know that now.  Because now I know that Kyuhyun is alive."

"So if Kyuhyun were dead, this would still be okay?"

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean, Sungmin?  I guess I'm just trying to figure out what would possess you to do something so idiotic.  Did it ever occur to you that the blood loss could cause you to die?  Do you know how close you were to death, Sungmin?  How do you think Kyuhyun would have felt about that?  How do you think we would have felt about that?"

"Jesus Christ, why isn't he picking up?!"  Heechul's irritated voice interrupted Siwon's frightening lecture.

"Heechul!"  Siwon's voice was offended as he turned to glare at Heechul, who raised one eyebrow in utter mockery.

"Oh, sorry.  I meant Jesus ing Christ."

"That's your eighty-fourth sin.  I've been counting since the beginning of this month.  You must really not want God's forgiveness."

"You hit the nail on the head right there, Siwon.  Oh! Donghae?  Hey, how are things over there?  Is Kyuhyun alright?"  Heechul spoke into the phone urgently, his face void of its previous playful grin.

My head snapped up to gaze directly at Heechul, trying to decipher the expressions that flitted across his face like flying colors.  I watched as Heechul's mouth fell open in shock and tears began to fill his onyx-colored eyes.  Panic made its way into my each and every feeling.  What had happened?  What could possibly force Kim Heechul to make an expression like that?

"I...I understand.  Got it."  Heechul nodded imperceptibly and let his arm drop to his side.  The phone fell from his hand as he crouched to the floor and buried his head in his hands in complete resignation.

"Heechul," Ryeowook said uncertainly, drawing towards the man that now resided on the floor, curled up as if he didn't want to face the world.  I prepared myself for the worst, clenching my fists together.  the action sent several intense shots of pain up and down my arms, forcing me to shut my eyes as the only way to endure silently.

Heechul spoke, then, speaking into his sleeve, causing his voice to come out muted and muffled.

"Kyuhyun," he began, "can no longer sing."  His voice was filled with nothing but misery.

"What?!"  Ryeowook and Shindong's identical yells of indignation echoed throughout the room, bouncing off the walls.

The pressure of Siwon's weight on the bed disappeared as he jumped up, face masked with panic, and ran out of the room to wherever the rest of our group was.

I myself wasn't able to comprehend Heechul's words.  Kyuhyun couldn't sing?  That was ridiculous.  Were they playing some kind of joke on me?

It's no joke, a voice whispered to me.  Look at his face.  Is that the face of someone who's joking around?

The world turned to black and white, all its brilliant color fading from my sight.  Kyuhyun without his voice wasn't Kyuhyun.  What was going to become of him?  What would be the fate of Super Junior?  Kyuhyun had always been our anchor.  With his talent and wit, he held us together.  He held me together.

If he was no longer part of the group, I was bound to fall apart sooner or later.

Preferably sooner.