Lies
Bleeding Sapphire BlueKyuhyun POV
The blinding flash of light that appeared behind my closed lids woke me from my otherwise peaceful moment of reprieve; reprieve from the constricting pain of reality. Regret accompanied the instant incapacitating pain in my throat and chest as my mind floated back to the realm of consciousness.
Deep within my body, I felt something compressing and squeezing the life out of me. Its grasp refused to loosen, forcing me to endure endlessly; not letting me fall back into blissful ignorance. I was sick of the burning; tired of being rendered helpless under the unyielding power of whatever force insisted on my continued inability to move; speak; live.
I didn't know how long I had been like this. Weeks? Days? Mere minutes? I couldn't be sure. My senses became more alive and alert as voices grew to an audible volume. Though I couldn't feel any part of my body and my eyes remained shut, my ears strained to pick out as many words as possible; as many words as would give me some hint of what was happening to me; of my present condition. I wasn't dead, though I knew I had been very close to reaching that point. I was alive. But was I well? What was the reason for my continual resignation to the bed that I felt beneath me? What was preventing me from recovering?
"...ability...sing..."
What? What about my ability to sing? What's going on?
My mind was plunged into a deep pool of confusion. The accident hadn't been that bad. I was still alive and no one else had been as seriously injured as I had been and still remained to be. Surely...nothing had happened to my ability to sing...right?
Don't be stupid. The world isn't that cruel.
Right. I wanted to laugh out loud at myself for thinking something like that. My voice was fine. As soon as I recovered, I would be able to once again stand up on stage with Super Junior as their eternal maknae. I'd be able to continue on with living my dream, fully healed and with no lasting side-effects of the accident.
Unless the world really was that cruel. Unless God believed me to be better off without the one thing that made my life worth living. Unless I really had lost my voice.
Shut the up.
I was getting irritated listening to the negative thoughts that flitted through my mind. The terrible possibilities of my condition wouldn't leave. They infected every crevice and corner that existed within my mentality and rooted themselves to my every thought, turning my mind dark and bitter. I wasn't about to let my own mind get the best of me. It could piss me off as much as it wanted, but I wouldn't give in to its impossibly evil whispers.
"Hyuk...come...me..."
Donghae. Eunhyuk.
I instantly recognized the throaty, rough voice. It had been my constant companion for as long as I had been lying in my bed, unable to do anything or respond in any way.
Uneasy and unsteady footsteps followed Donghae's address to Eunhyuk. They grew fainter as the pair drew away from where I resided and left me there, wanting more than anything to know what was going on.
Am I alone now? Was it just Donghae and Eunhyuk that came? Is anyone else here?
A soft, agonized voice spoke right next to my head. If I had been able to, I would have yelped in surprise. Leeteuk's usually smooth tones interrupted my inner thoughts. I was able to catch each and every word that escaped his mouth. I listened intently, hoping that his words held some hint as to what my condition was...or maybe even news of Sungmin.
Sungmin, I'm sorry I've been like this. Just wait for me a little longer and don't do anything stupid.
"Kyuhyun, it hurts so much to see you like this. I feel so hopeless looking at you right now. I want you to smile again. I want you to open your eyes and tease me again like you always did. I want you to wake up and tell me that you're okay. Kyuhyun, please, get up and tell me that you'll pull through this. Promise me that you'll be able to handle whatever the future has in store for you."
Leeteuk was crying. I could just imagine the tears that flowed down his face. He had always been most prone to unnecessary tears. If his words hadn't had such impact on me, I would've tried to laugh. His next words, however, cut off my thoughts and emptied my brain of all sense.
"As your leader, I made a promise to myself to always protect you. You're the youngest. That's why I feel most responsible for this. Kyuhyun, your singing was everything to you. I'm...more sorry than you can imagine...that I wasn't able to protect that as well. You're not you without your voice. I swear if I could, I would do anything to get it back for you."
No. No. He's lying. I can still sing. I still have my voice. What is he saying?
"And for Sungmin...I should've been able to protect him from himself. I didn't think he would hurt himself that badly. I...can't believe I can still call myself your leader. I'm weak. If anything, someone like Siwon should be leader. I, who can't even look after my younger brothers, should not have been made leader. Kyuhyun, I'm so sorry...so sorry..."
"Teuk," Yesung's voice cut in, colored halfway with sadness and halfway with contradiction. "It's not your fault. Don't talk like everything is your fault."
If my mind hadn't frozen, I would have agreed with Yesung, but I could barely think for myself, let alone aim concurring thoughts to my elder.
My voice was gone. Sungmin was in pain. My leader was blaming himself.
Though my eyes refused to open, I felt the hot burning of tears build up behind my lids. Leeteuk's small gasp was completely audible as the tears overflowed and spilled over. My cheeks were being flooded by thick tears that refused to cease. I felt someone's finger brush against my skin and wipe away the tears.
My mind didn't linger too long on wondering who the fingers belonged to. My voice was gone. My voice; the one thing that had been my driving force; the one thing that had gotten me through the most difficult times; the one thing that had always brought me joy when nothing else could; it was gone.
Sungmin, how could you break your promise. Why did you have to go and hurt yourself when I need you the most? Sungmin, I miss you. I need you now. More than ever. Why did you have to betray me? You promised.
And now, I have nothing left. Sungmin, don't make me let you go when you're the only thing I have left to lose. I've already been reduced to whatever it is I am now. Don't force me to erase everything that I am. Please. You're all I have left. Please.
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A/N: I have a surprise for you guys! I was sick today, so I stayed home from school. And guess what? I got four chapters of BSB done. BUT DONT READ AHEAD! IF YOU DO ITLL JUST RUIN EVERYTHING FOR YOU! So Hell Yeah for QUADRUPLE update!! :D But omg....this fic is over for me...i can't believe it's done 3 omg....this is so depressing...ill leave an A/N in the final chapter...but not for the next two chapters<3 See you then!!
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