Eunhyuk POV

I couldn't think straight anymore.  I needed to be alone and get away from everyone.  I kept my face passive as I walked slowly to my room.

Without turning on the light, I shut the door and collapsed onto the bed, squeezing my eyes shut and burying my face in a pillow.

He doesn't think anyone knows...but I see right through him.

Donghae was in pain and I was the only one who bothered to notice; the only one that cared.

As much as I wanted to be with him and as much as it hurt me to know that he was still in love with Sungmin...all I really wanted was to heal Donghae; to ease the pain of his broken heart and to be his shoulder to cry on.

And of course, being my selfish self, I would still imagine what it would be like to love him openly, and how his feelings would match my own equally.

My heart gravitated towards the very thought of him...the sight of him...everything about him.

It's like I was addicted , attached to the idea that someday, he would look only to me; that someday, he would no longer be suffering.

I wasn't sure when I started to feel this way...maybe when I first saw his hard, unyielding mask start to crumble.

The other members were too oblivious to notice how Donghae had been gradually breaking down.  Recently, he started to show his true colors; show his true feelings.

How can I possibly stop his pain?

It was so easy to say that I wanted to help him...so why was it so hard to implement?

Because life is a .

My thoughts turned bitter so easily these days, I barely knew myself.  I was cold not only on the inside, but on the outside, too.  I had to work that much harder to keep my feelings under check and to sure that nothing rose to the surface and boiled over.

At the moment, I detested Sungmin.

They had been so in love.  They had been so...perfect.

As hard as it was to admit to myself the fact that Donghae and Sungmin belonged together, it was true.  There was no point in denying that Donghae and Sungmin had been the most compatible people I had ever met.

That was, until Kyuhyun joined the group.

Through all of that, I had been watching from the sidelines; waiting in the wings.

I didn't think my chance would come so soon with the appearance of Kyuhyun.

The rage I had felt when I found that Sungmin had left Donghae for Kyuhyun...was inexpressible.

I had promised myself that I would live happily, knowing Donghae was happy and safe from heartbreak.  In any case, I promised myself that if he would ever come to any harm, I would be his protector.

We were best friends.  It never really occurred to me that our friendship could be a barrier. 

My love for him would always be vanquished by the friendship we shared.  Even if it hurt me, and even if it put me in pain, I would be there for him.

Now, though, I felt useless.  I was at constant war with myself.

There were two things I could do, neither of which yielded good feelings on my part:

1 - I could simply live as his friend, comfort him when he was in need of it, and forever regret never confessing my true feelings.

2 - I could steal his heart.  I could be selfish and take him as my own.

The latter would probably set my conscience up for ruin.

I was so conflicted.

To any outsider, my worries would seem trivial.  They would say:

"Why don't you just confess and get it over with?  At least your feelings won't rule your life anymore."

"He is obviously getting over someone he thought he would be with forever...don't be selfish."

"Go for it!  You have nothing to lose."

The fact of the matter was, it wasn't that easy.  I had my moral codes to live by, and I couldn't surpass those just for the sake of what my heart wanted.

Donghae, I made myself a promise to always be there for you.  I've been doing a pretty crappy job of it lately, but not anymore.  Now, it's all about you.  I can live being the supporting cast for a little while longer.  I can bear it...for you.

I made my decision.  I would, as his best friend, help him.  I would heal his wounded heart and I would put a damper on his pain.

That's what friends are for, right?

Wrong...if you were really his friend, you wouldn't be in love with him.  You would simply live to be his friend.  You wouldn't have ulterior motives.

"Shut up."

 That voice in my head was really starting to piss me off.

"I do not have ulterior motives."

Great, now I'm talking to myself.  I'm really starting to go crazy.

Donghae, damn you.  Damn you for making me feel this way.  Damn you for being so perfect.

Damn you for making me fall in love with you.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: Sorry if you're waiting for and getting impatient.  I promise, it'll come soon enough.  I just have to get these introductions out of the way.  Hopefully, these boring intros will get you into the mindset of the characters, which will really help in understanding the overall plot.

Thank you for the subs and support!

I will work hard just for you!

I'll make it up to you with this:D