Eunhyuk POV

I can't believe he left...I can't believe he actually left the dorm.

I was worried to the point where I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, and I couldn't even talk without my mind trailing off to Donghae.  Donghae's absence from the house, from the family, rocked all of us to our cores.  We had never imagined that things might turn out this way.  We couldn't go on as Super Junior.  Not like this.

My thoughts seemed to perfectly mirror those of the other members. During our free time, we sat in the living room, in shock and unable to speak.  Our group was becoming dysfunctional.

I had missed out on the fist fight that had occurred between Donghae and Kyuhyun.  I could see the proof, though.

It had already been two days since Donghae left, and even so, Ryeowook was still tending to Kyuhyun's injuries.  The injury didn't seem to want to heal.  I could tell our maknae was getting irritated.  His long fingers twitched, as though he were going to jump up and go after Donghae any second, though we had no idea where he could be.  He was cursing under his breath, Ryeowook making a point to ignore the foul words that exited his younger's mouth.

Yesung and Shindong had gone out to eat.  I couldn't blame them.  The cloud that hung over the dorm was practically killing all of us.  We were hopelessly lost, not knowing which way to turn.

The thought of Donghae alone...of Donghae lost...it stabbed my heart repeatedly, making it feel as though my chest was b with blood.  I was suffocating.  He was hurting and needed comfort. He needed me.  It burned my insides to think that Donghae was suffering now...all alone.  He was comforting his broken heart.

I had to remind myself every five seconds that it wasn't Sungmin's fault.  That it wasn't Kyuhyun's fault.  That all of the blame landed on Donghae.

The reluctance to accept that truth surprised me.

As much as I love Donghae, shouldn't I consciously try and listen to my rational thoughts?  It wasn't Sungmin or Kyuhyun's fault that he left.  It was his choice.

But no matter how I looked at it, no matter what I angle I turned the situation, my blame always ended up pointing toward Sungmin.

If Sungmin hadn't left Donghae, he wouldn't have abandoned the dorm. 

Sungmin didn't leave Donghae.  It was the other way around.

I was getting into the habit of ignoring what was actually true and making up things that I wanted to be true.  The fantasies I made up in my head...they were contaminating my mind; infecting it with thoughts that, once in existence, refused to disappear.

Everything I wanted to be true?

That Donghae loved me, that Donghae wasn't just using me for and as a distraction from his pain, that I belonged with Donghae.

Everything that was actually true?

That Donghae didn't love me, that Donghae was just using me for his own pleasure, that Donghae was using me as an anesthetic, that Donghae and I would never be together.

Lee Hyukjae, you need to wake up.  Quit kidding yourself.  Donghae, as much as you wish it to be otherwise, will never fall for you.  He's dug his own grave and no one, not even you, can help him get out.  He either needs to figure it out on his own, or he'll turn into a monster.  There is nothing you can do.

The desire that built up in my chest, ready to explode out at any second, was a blessing and a curse.  It felt good to know that I had something to work towards, a goal I had to reach.  However, it pained me to know that my dream was unreachable.

I thought about Sungmin, who was sleeping deeply in the other room.  Sungmin, who had gone through so much and dealt with so many hardships, was still able to find love with Kyuhyun.  How had he done it?  How had he been able to let go?

For me, letting go was a definite impossibility.  At the very thought of simply trying to forget Donghae, my heart froze, my world turned to gray, and all that flashed across my mind was me...alone.

"Eunhyuk, I need more towels and clean water."  Ryeowook's voice was panicky. 

I looked up from the couch.  The entire left side of Kyuhyun's face was swollen bright red, and starting to turn a terrifying shade of purple.  I understood why Ryeowook was so worried. 

"Dammit....Donghae...bastard..."  I caught random snippets of what Kyuhyun was growling to himself.  The sound of his name - Donghae - made my insides curl in on themselves.

Leeteuk, who was on the phone with the manager, shot Kyuhyun a disapproving look.  He didn't like it when the younger members swore.  He hadn't let Kyuhyun help Sungmin when Siwon found him outside in the rain.  He said that his injuries needed to be taken care of before he got sidetracked with Sungmin.

"Okay, I'll be right back." My voice was bleak and lifeless.  Would I continue to be this pathetic until Donghae got back?

I got up from the couch, making my way towards the bathroom.  On the way, I peeked into Sungmin's room.  Even in sleep, Sungmin's face was scrunched up in worry and distress, creases forming in between his eyebrows.  I wanted to soothe him and tell him that everything was going to turn out fine.  He needed the reassurance more than myself.

Even though the irrational side of my mind blamed him for making Donghae leave, I was worried about him.  He was so fragile...

You're so weak.  You cave in to Donghae.  You cave in to Sungmin.  Where's your strength?  Where's your will power?

I wanted to scream out loud at that voice in my head.  I did have will power.  My love for Donghae was just too much for my will power to overcome.  I was a slave for what I felt for him.

Once I made it into the bathroom, I searched the racks for clean towels.  As I bent over the sink to fill a small, plastic tub with warm water, something in my pocket vibrated.

I shut the water off and took out my phone, expecting it to be another member telling me to hurry up.

Inbox: (1)

From: Donghae

Received 11:54, Callback #: 5687533246

                The Pil Sang Motel.  12:30.  Come alone.

                Don't tell them where you're going.

                Bring some extra clothes for me.

                - D

I very nearly dropped my phone into the bucket of water.  I felt sick and excited at the same time.

It was Donghae.  Donghae was okay.  Donghae was safe.  Donghae wanted me.

But why didn't he want me to tell the other members?

Because he only wants you.  He only craves your presence.

I wanted so badly for that to be true.

Leeteuk would be so mad if he found out Donghae had contacted me and I hadn't told any of them.  But I would remain faithful to Donghae.  I would do exactly as he asked...because I loved him.

I replied with an "okay."  I rushed downstairs, shoved the water and towels into Ryeowook's hands, and turned to Leeteuk, who was off the phone, now sitting on the floor looking depressed and anxious.

"The manager said he would send more people to look for Donghae.  He doesn't want us going out by ourselves.  Aish, that Donghae....if he-"

"Hyung," I said urgently, my voice an octave higher than usual.  My heart was racing.  I could hear it beating within me, pumping my blood and oxygen as fast as it could, trying to keep up with my sudden adrenaline rush.  "Do you mind if I go to the gym for a while?  I need to get out of here."  I made an effort to calm my voice.

Leeteuk nodded remotely.  He barely registered my mood, which I was thankful for.   I ran upstairs and open the door to my room.  Grabbing a duffel bag from the closet, I shoved almost half of Donghae's clothes into it, sweat running down the side of my neck.  I had to get to Donghae as fast as possible.  I needed him, but more importantly, he needed me.

I wasn't thinking of what would happen once I got to the motel.  I wasn't thinking of the consequences of concealing Donghae's whereabouts from the other members.  My need for Donghae canceled out all other feelings.

My insides thirsted so much for his presence, it was almost unbearable.

I walked out the door, avoiding suspicion from Leeteuk by waiting until I was completely out of sight of the windows to start sprinting.

Donghae, I'm coming.

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A/N: This was a short, crappy chapter, I know.  I'll try to make the next one better.  Kyuhyun's POV should be interesting, no? :P

Please continue to subscribe, support, and comment!  I'm interested to know, if you don't mind me asking, how's my debut fic so far?  Is it lacking, too repetitive, maybe too generic?  I'd love to hear what you all have to say, seeing as your'e the main reason bother to write this chiz.

Anyway, hoped this chapter wasn't too bad...my mind kept getting distracted by the super amazing plot twist I have decided to give this storyline.  It won't come until the end, which is a pretty long way away, so don't hold your breath.

Thank you again for all of your love~