Forgiven
Bleeding Sapphire Blue
Kyuhyun POV
"Cho Kyuhyun, if you die, I'll kill you!"
Through my half-opened lids, I saw Sungmin, his face twisted into an expression of complete anguish as he fought against Siwon's steel grip. Despite the pain that accompanied seeing Sungmin so broken, I felt complete. I had never really appreciated how strong, willful, and beautiful he really was. I didn't think death would be the only thing to help me realize that. With my life slowly tipping off the edge of existence, I could finally relish in the warmth of the perfect spotlight that Sungmin cast over my life.
I was thankful that, before I closed my eyes for the last time, I was able to see Sungmin. That I was able to re-memorize every wonderful feature of his face. That I was able to remind myself how much I loved him. God had answered my prayer, and for that, I would be forever grateful, no matter where I was - earth, heaven, or hell.
My eyes glazed over so that I stared, but was blind to everything.
No. Please. Let me see his face for just a little longer. Let him come to me. Let me...let me...
I was fading. Fast. I knew that I would be long gone before Sungmin came close enough to touch my cold, dead fingers. Regret washed over me. He didn't deserve the pain I was, once again, delivering onto him. He didn't deserve to watch me die.
As best I could, I sent a silent apology through my eyes.
Sungmin, I'm sorry I'm putting you through this. I'm sorry you have to watch me like this. I'm sorry for not being strong enough to make it through this like a man. I'm sorry that you ever loved me, because if you weren't, you'd be in less pain.
My eyes slid closed and I felt one last breath of air escape my lips before I became all-too aware of the darkness that smothered my body and my mind. I had to accept death. I had to welcome it. There was no way out of it, therefore no use in fearing it. I relaxed into the blissful void that was immersed in the absence of pain.
A miserable, heart wrenching scream of sadness, anger, dejection, and pain broke through the surface of the thin layer of death that had already begun to settle in. Sungmin's voice shattered my already unstable heart as its beating increasingly slowed.
Oh, God. Please. Please don't leave him without me. Let me get through this. I don't care about death. I care about Sungmin. Don't let me leave him like this. Let me live to comfort and heal him. Please.
No one was going to listen. No one would be able to hear my faint, dying voice as it was swept away by the winds of the deceased. I didn't want to accept that in a matter of minutes, Sungmin would be alone in the world.
I distantly registered the way I was being placed on yet another hospital. Roughly. Carelessly. As though the doctors had already accepted the fact that I wasn't going to make it.
For Sungmin, please act like I will make it through. Let him think I'm going to live. Let him be in less pain.
My mind revolved around Sungmin, and I knew it forever would, as long as I was stuck in that place between life and death. I changed my mind. They could take my voice. They could remove all musical talent from my existence. That wouldn't matter. As long as I was well enough to hear the music that rang through my soul whenever I saw Sungmin's face; whenever he sang for me; whenever he plucked at my delicate heartstrings.
I didn't know how long I was going to continue lying there. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. It could have been days. I was aware of the fact that I was still alive, however, holding onto that one strand of life that kept me rooted to the earth. That one strand was Sungmin; my love for him, and the knowledge that I would always love him.
"Kyuhyun."
What? What do you want?
"Kyuhyun...I...I'm so sorry." That was Donghae's voice. What was he doing here? I knew I should have been filled with anger at the very thought of him, but I didn't have the strength to hate anyone. Not when I was so desperate to stay alive.
Don't be sorry. I don't want apologies. Go apologize to Sungmin. He's the one you really hurt.
"Not just for Sungmin....but for this. I'm sorry I caused this. I'm sorry you're in pain."
What are you talking about? It's not like you caused the accident. Why are you apologizing?
"The truth is...I caused the accident. I was driving the opposite way on the road, and I nearly crashed into your van. I...I swerved out of the way and your van...you..."
Through the shock and turmoil that filled my senses, I realized that Donghae was crying. He really was sorry. He really did realize what he had done wrong.
It's not your fault. You didn't realize this would happen to me. You didn't do it on purpose.
"I don't love Sungmin anymore. You can love each other in peace. I won't interfere anymore. I realized...that I have Eunhyuk."
Eunhyuk? I guess the fans were right about EunHae...But you're really giving up on Sungmin? Why?
"I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You probably can't even hear me. I don't know whether or not you're going to...live," his voice broke, "and I don't know if you're willing to do this for me, but hold on. Just hold on. Sungmin needs you. Without you, I don't know how he's going to cope. You should see him right now. He's...."
No. Don't tell me. That will just make me feel worse if I'm not able to hold on.
"Nevermind. You can't hear me. I'm just being an idiot. Just know that I really am sorry. If you don't know what I'm saying and if you don't remember this conversation later...then that's fine. I just needed to tell you. I don't expect you to forgive me. I just thought you needed to know."
Don't worry, Donghae. I forgive you.
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A/N: Well....there's not much to say about this chapter, other than that it was completely half-assed and kinda sorta crappy. Oh well. My mind isn't working well right now. I kinda have a lot of problems at the moment. My eyes are all poofy from crying myself to slep last night =.= so I look like utter *sigh* damn whoever made it so that salt water makes eyelids swell up to be the size of a rhino's ....ugh
sorry im just ranting right now. getting it all off my chest...yup
so anywa, thank you so much to my 112 subscribers<3 you guys are amazing! please continue to comment on the story whenever you want! I never thought I'd get past 100, fyi, so this feels like a major accomplishment ^^ I love you all~~~
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