Sungmin POV

"I...lo-love...you, Hyu-hyuk."

What?  He...he loves Eunhyuk?  No, he doesn't.  He loves me.  He told me so many times.  Kyuhyun loves me.  Don't say "Hyuk," Kyu.  Say my name. Say you love Sungmin.  Say you love me.

Donghae, who was supporting my weak figure, was frozen in the doorway.  He didn't move an inch toward the small gathering that revolved around Kyuhyun's bed.  I shoved him away roughly as I took an unsteady step towards his voice.  His beautiful voice.  The voice that I thought I'd never hear again.  I only had eyes for Kyuhyun, though I didn't think my heart would be able to survive the reality that he thought he loved Eunhyuk.  That he no longer loved me.

"What is he talking about?" I asked in a dead voice.  I felt my eyes narrow as Eunhyuk started and turned, a confused and abashed look on his pale face.  He seemed to be alarmed that I was walking and talking on my own.

Siwon moved forward, his expression careful; guarded.  He was worried about me; worried about my reaction to the knowledge that Kyuhyun's sanity was long gone, accompanying my ever-fleeing soul out of this world.  Each second that sliced through the silence found my heart sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss of numbness.

"Sungmin...Kyuhyun is...his head got banged up in the accident.  He doesn't know who's who.  He even convinced himself that Eunhyuk possesses all the traits that you have.  I asked him what Hyuk's hair color was...and he said brown."

I laughed humorlessly, the empty sound making Siwon's eyes flash in fear.  I wasn't myself.  There was no possible way I could be; not when my lover didn't even remember that he loved me.  The strange thing was, I couldn't feel the pain.  It was as though the heart break Donghae had forced onto me made my heart permanently immune to any other kind of emotional pain.

But I wanted to feel the burn that entered every crevice of my heart.  I wanted to feel the of fire that ran against the edge of my emotions.  I wanted to feel some kind of reassurance that the love between had existed.  I needed to know that I hadn't just imagined it and that this wasn't  just a rude awakening.

"Siwon, it sounds like you're expecting Kyuhyun to get better.  How long will it take?"

"What?"

"How long will it take for his head to get screwed on straight again?"

"The doctors have no idea.  They don't even know what's wrong with him."

"Who the hell does, then?"  My voice shook with anger.  I wanted out.  I didn't want to have to deal with any of this anymore.  Life was turning into a nightmare; reality was turning into pure drama.  No mercy was ever bestowed on the weak-minded and fainthearted.  No respite would ever be given to people like me; the people that needed it the most.  I wondered to myself if the world was evil; if it was set on driving me out of sanity and into the deep hole that was being dug in the back of my mind.

I turned to Kyuhyun, then, ignoring the presence of the others.  There was no one except me and him.

"Kyuhyun," I started, reaching a hand out to his battered cheek.  "You love Eunhyuk?"

The smile that spread across his face was blinding.  The happiness that he exuded was enough to light up the world.  If only he knew that his cheerful smile was that very thing that caused the descending darkness which continued to shroud my life.

"Y-yes.  M-more than any...thing.  L-like how you...love Dong...hae."

I nearly choked.  Donghae?  He thinks I love Donghae?  This isn't last year.  This isn't when he first joined Super Junior.  This isn't when I was with Hae and he was with...

Realization jarred me.  Kyuhyun thought it was last year.  He thought it was when he and Eunhyuk had been a couple and Donghae and I had still been together.  But why, then, would he familiarize Eunhyuk as me, Sungmin?

Because of the accident.  Don't blame him for guarding him mind.  This is his way of protecting himself from the trauma.  Give him time.  He'll come to eventually.

"Yes," I answered with a sad smile, causing Siwon, Eunhyuk, and Donghae to look at me in shock.  Verbalizing my realization would get us nowhere.  "You must love him a lot."

The happiness that glowed from within his eyes was enough confirmation.  Now, Kyuhyun loved Eunhyuk.  There was nothing I could do about it except go along with it.  I walked over to Donghae and looped my arm around his.  Never taking my eyes off Kyuhyun's face, just in case the action would trigger some recognition of present reality, I placed my head in the space between Donghae's shoulder and chin.  The perfect placement of my head in the crook of his neck brought on a tidal wave of memories from when we were still together.

Not now.  Please.  Not when I feel so vulnerable and weak.

As was expected, my silent plea went unheard.

You're being selfish, Sungmin.  Kyuhyun's alive and well.  Even though he's not aware that he loves you, he's happy.  Don't ruin it for him.

That voice in my head was right.  I wasn't about to go and ruin the blissful oblivion that seemed to have Kyuhyun in its more than capable hands.  I wasn't ready to barge in on the cheerful aura that draped itself around Kyuhyun.  I didn't have the strength nor the heart to even think of it.  If I really loved Kyuhyun, I would let him go...for the time being.

If leaving him with Eunhyuk was what it was going to take for him to heal, then I would simply have to endure in pained silence.  I walked forward with Donghae still at my side.

"I'm really glad you're feeling better, Kyuhyun.  I so happy you pulled through.  Your strength is amazing.  I don't think I would've been able to get through this alive if I were you."

"I-I made it th-through...for H-Hyuk."  The admiration, adoration, and pure love that flooded Kyuhyun's features whenever he looked at Eunhyuk was impossible to doubt.  Eunhyuk simply looked down, his face ashamed.  I placed a hand on his shoulder, telling him silently that it wasn't his fault; that I didn't blame him in the slightest.

"I know," I whispered.  The tears that followed, as much as I wished them to be otherwise, reeked of sadness, bitterness, and anger at the painful reality that once again, the one person that mattered most to me was slipping through my fingers little by little.

Kyuhyun was alive.  That was all that mattered.  I wouldn't have cared if Kyuhyun had come back with no memory of us at all.  At least then, I could get him to fall in love with me again.  I wouldn't have cared if Kyuhyun had come back with a missing limb. 

The one thing I would have cared about was, of course, the one thing that happened.  Kyuhyun, though very much alive, was in love with someone else.

In which case, I thought to myself, I'd be better off having been in that accident with him and having taken his place.

If only...

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A/N: DAYUMM TRIPLE UPDATE! I am on a roll today, guize.....actually its past midnight so...that means I don't have to update til tomorrow kekeke i know i know...the brilliance of loopholes and the flexibiity of the definition of "midnight" XD so...this chapter is kinda depressing. sungmin's too nice of a person. polar opposite of hae. i wonder why they were ever together...anywayzzzz hope u all enjoyed this chappie! im glad i was able to update so much! in case you're wondering what happened to the eunhyuk pov continued, i merged it into the original eunhyuk pov, so they weren't separate chapters.  it felt kinda choppy. so yup, NOW this is officially 27 chappies long :P love you all~~<3 please continue to comment AND subscribe! ;P