Kim Sujin, 5th of august

As we were waiting for Moonah in the car, I stayed sit waiting to see people get out of the station. I looked at YongGuk rearrange his shirt and bite my lips. « She will not meet you YongGuk I've told you. »

« But I don't understand why … She should be happy for you. »

I shrugged, I really didn't want to have this conversation again. « I'll just go greet her please. »

He sighed, his good manners keeping him bothered by my offer. The fact that I didn't want YongGuk and Taeyang to meet my parents was simple : I didn't want to them to feel humiliated by my mom. She could be harsh on her words and it was too early for now to involve her in this blossoming relationship. We were doing fine. YongGuk worked less, slept more and had various activities outside of his lawyer job. He would hike with a senior, do pottery with me and go biking with the girls everynight. I stared at him enough and he sighed, grumpy. « Okay but you'll explain me all of this. »

I kissed his cheek and went to the train station, leaving him in the car. I walked to the station and spotted with relief my little girl, her green pastel coat standing out in the sea of black coats. Mom required she spend the weekened with them and today we met at the bus station of Hansan, so I could pick her up from her weekend. As I approached myself, I noticed her uneasy look. My mom was holding her hand too tighly, making her arm way too flexed and she had trouble to stand. « Moonah ! »

« MOM !!! » She yelled, trying to get away from my mom grip.  My mom nagged her harshly, making me  run to them quicker. I hugged Moonah instantly and finally my mom set free her hand. « Hi my hazelnut !!! How are you doing ? »

She didn't answered and for all answers, she hugged me even more tigh, hiding her head in my coat by the way, making my mom shake her head in disapprouval. « You shouldn't let her do that. »

« She just misses me. » I explained to my mom. « Well, thanks for bringing her back. »

My mom sighed. «It's nothing. »

We stayed a few seconds in front of each others and soon I took the bag on the floor. « Well, take care. »

As I walked back to the car, I confirmed my initial feelings, Moonah was tense. I got closer to the car and YongGuk waved to me, his back resting on his car, making Taeyang dance.

«Moonah look who's here to welcome you ! » She didn't bulge and I tried to put her back on the floor, without success. « Darling we need to get in the car at least. »

«Stay with me. » She whispered slowly. I entered the car in the back seat difficulty and she stayed here, making me unable to fasten my belt. YongGuk started to drive and Taeyang got closer to us. « Did you have fun at your grandma ? »

Moonah shrugged and finally sat properly making me able to fasten her seatbelt. She looked like someone that wanted to cry. « Grandma fed you too much ? Your stomach hurts ? Want to throw up ? »

I checked her temperature and got worried when she looked at me terrified. « Is it true you're going to hell Mom ? »

« Huh ? » I stuttered. What is she asking me about ?

She sobbed a bit and finally explained herself. «Grandma said that you are a sinner and that  now you won't be going to paradise but hell. »

I froze a minute and sighed. « Grandma said that to you ? »

« She said that we should all pray so God will save you. I'll pray everyday Mom. I promise.»

She bursted in tears and buried her head in my chest, searching for some comfort. I hugged her tighly in silence, patting her back. I closed my eyes and hugged her tighly to comfort her. I wasn't aware of my surroundings anymore, I could only hear the loud sobbs of my terrified Moonah.

"Sujin ... Sujin ? "

I raised my head and gasped. We were home and YongGuk had opened my car door. I nodded and got out of the car. YongGuk softly brushed my arms and I nodded in awknowledgement of his attention. "I'll take care of the bags. Just go and take care of her , huh ?" YongGuk whispered to me.

 I stood up and get in the house, heading to her room. We got in her bedroom quickly and I lied her on the mattress; she looked vulnerable and terrified.  « Moonah, my baby, I promise you I won't die and go to hell. You know grandma is christian right ? »

She nodded slowly. « In her religion, if you do something wrong you 'll have to face the consequences of what you did. But I can assure you that it's okay, nothing will happen to me. You don't have to pray everyday for me Moonah. »

YongGuk knocked on the door and slowly opened it. "I've made some medication for her."

I blinked twice looking at the glass of water he had in his hands. He gave it to Moonah and her back as she drank it. He made sure to make a half empty glass of water for the little girl who never finished a glass of water. As she gave him back the glass and thanked him, he pinched my cheek and left promptly. 

« But why Grandma lied to me like this ? » She asked, not understanding anything.

I made her head rest agai my chest, so she could feel my heartbeat, this would always made her quiet when she was a baby. « Grandma she's a little bit angry at me, so sometimes she can go overboard with religion. »

« She learned me that praying was very important. You don't pray. »

I sighed. «Some people believe in god like your grandma, but some don't believe in God, but whatever is their choice, we have to respect it okay ? I don't believe in God so I don't think I'm going to hell. Hell and paradise it's not sure, it's more probable it doesn't exist. »

She stopped to cry and stared at the wall beside me. I considered my sentences. Gosh how a 6 years old was supposed to understand that. I looked at her furrow her eyebrows in incomprehension. « I am confused. »

I took the brush and started to head to the bathroom. «It's normal. Want me to tell you something ? You don't have to pray and worry about religion for now. When you'll be older, if you want to have a religion let me know about it. »

« And for now ? » She asked, eyes still puffy from crying.

« Hot chocolate and sleep ? »

She nodded and I dragged her to the kitchen and smiled seeing YongGuk come to me. «Hot chocolate for everyone !!! » I screamed with joy.

Moonah giggled and I kissed her cheek. As we all sit around the kitchen table, I looked at Taeyang reach for her friend. «I was bored without you. » I poured hot chocolate into every one cup and looked at Moonah, she seemed so relieved. I was relieved that she got better. YongGuk hand came to find mine and I raised my eyes on him, he seemed worried for me. «Everything is fine ? »

« Kind of ? »

I tried to be smiley and contribute to an happy atmosphere, giving to everyone hot chocolate with tons of marshmallows. If only I could deal with life this easily. Solve everything by preparing hot chocolate and topping it with marshmallows.

After this, I put Moonah to sleep  and closing the door of her room, I stormed outside. YongGuk grabbed my wrist and made me turn around. « Hey, what happened ? »

«You heard it she terrorized my daughter telling her that her sinner of mom is going to hell.  I'm so angry right now. » I didn't leave him any time to speak as I stormed in my drawing room to call my parents.

I typed the number and got my father to say hello. « Dad I need to talk with Mom. »

He sighed and soon my mom greeted me back. I interuupted her. « Mom I hope you enjoyed terrorizing her all weekend about hell and sin. »

« What ? I was just giving her a religious education. » She justified herself.

I sighed. «  When it's about learning prayers, I was okay. But now, hell you're telling a little girl that her mom, the only person raising her is going to hell. Do you even realize how cruel it was ?! » I yelled, getting out of temper.

She scoffed. « Don't blaspheme. I didn't terrorize her. »

« She cried all the way home and just got stopped one hour ago. She looked traumatized over the fact that I die. I do know you hate me, whatever I'm fine with that. But don't say to my precious daughter about my death and hell stuffs. »

 «I just want her to have a bright future not like you. You're living in a man house that you met last month. I heard that he has a daughter too. Well, you don't give good friends to your daughter. »

I gasped and stayed silent for a while, listenning to her nagg me. As she was waiting for an answer, I tried to take a great breath. « So, we have two options,  you stay in your lane and forget about giving my daughter a religious education or I don't send her home. »

« You wouldn't do that ! »

« I'm going to hell already I don't ing care ! » I screamed loudly, exasperated by her.

*

Bang YongGuk

I was in my study room, trying to work knowing that Sujin was having an argument with her mom. My door was opened to indicate that I wasn't too busy. That's how I caugh a little girl running in the corridor. I stood up and followed her. As I came in the hall, my eyes found Moonah in pyjamas, slowly opening the door of Sujin drawing room to hear the argument. I came to her side and furrowed my eyebrows. I lifted her and brought her to my study room before closing the door.

«You shouldn't spy your mom talking to your grandma. » I stated to her.

« They are having a fight. Because of me. Grandma she said that mom is a sinner  and it's not nice. »

« Yeah. It's not nice. » I repeated. I got utterly shocked hearing Moonah talk about hell and sin in the car and couldn't comprehend how adults would dare to talk about those sensible things with a child.

«I hate when Mom is having arguments. Sometimes she calls dad and yells at him too. Grandma said he's a sinner too. YongGuk sshi , are you a sinner too ? »

I smiled at the question.  Her grandma is angry at her daughter for having premarital , as a christian. Moonah sat on my desk chair and I made the chair turn over, making her gasp and giggle. I looked what happened of this supposed sin between Kang Joon and Sujin, and giggled. I kneeled and pinched her cheeks. Moonah was adorable. Her cute bob hair making her look like a doll. « YongGu sshi, not answering ? »

« Ah sorry, I was thinking about it, sweety. I am a sinner too I think. »

She widened her eyes and gasped. « So are you going to hell ? »

I laughed and shook my head. « I hope not. Everyone does some mistakes in liife, but that's what you made after those that defines you as a person. »

She stayed silent for a while, trying to comprehend what I just said and I got worried seeing her sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have get involved in this stuff with her.

« I just have one question. » She said determined. I nodded and she made fist of her hands. « Is my mom going to hell ? »

I shook my head. « No way an angel like your mom is going to hell. I promise. »

She nodded relieved and soon, sobbed a bit. «I'm glad. »

I came to hug her and she crossed her arms around my neck, getting her little head on my chest. I rocked her in my arms, as she was crying of relief. « It has been an hard matter for you huh ? Now it's over. » I reassured her.

« Huhhh huh. » Was the answer I got. I chuckled gently. «Now stop worrying about this. Can I get your promise about this ? »

She nodded obediently and kept hugging me. I walked a bit around, holding her against my heart, trying to make her quiet and sleepy. « Now you need to rest. It's okay now, relax, everything is going to be okay. Forget all about this, Moonah»

She was already drifting away in sleep. I caressed her hair, to comfort and soon she was soundly asleep, drained by her worries. I wiped with some tissues her cheeks still stained with tears and the door opened on Sujin. «Have you seen Mo-»

I motionned her to stay silent and she looked at us with surprised eyes. Her body stayed froze for a moment while she stared at the view in front of her. She seemed really shocked to see me take care of Moonah. She blinked twice and  walked to me slowly. «You comforted her ? »

« Yeahh, she was concerned about you calling your mom. » I whispered.

She nodded, a bit taken aback. « Sorry I should have understood that she was awake. You should have call me. »

« I can do this much for both of you. »

She smiled slowly, tiredness present on her face. « I need comfort too. » She whispered before hugging us in a weird hug. I was now trapped in her embrace for a while. She suddenly pulled away and dragged both of us to our bedroom. I lied on the bed, Moonah still tighly hugging me half asleep and Sujin came to spoon her daughter. Sujin looked at me with smiley eyes and grabbed my hand to hold it tighly.  « Thanks. »

I slept straigh to the morning, until I felt someone move around. I opened my eyes and looked at noticing someone getting in the bed. Taeyang looked at me and smiled with her sleepy smile I adored. « Come here. » I said motioning to my chest. She climbed there and lied there, her head resting on my pillow next to my head, going back to sleep.

Unlike all the girls of the house, I was awake and I knew I won't get any sleep now that morning came. I got up to eat something. I was having a coffee when Sujin arrived. « Yo sinner, what's up, how is hell ? »

She laughed to me and punched my chest lightly. I looked at her prepare her tea. «You're okay ? »

She sighed loudly, putting her tea bag in her cup. « I'm so angry. Mom doesn't want to hear anything. And I don't even know if Moonah is fine or not. »

« But what about you. She said that you're a sinner. »

Blowing on her cup, she chuckled. « Yeah,it's been 7 years she does. It doesn't hurt anymore. »

« When she learned I was pregnant.  I'm going to hell anyways so let's have some character.» She precised to me. I nodded and got my chair closer to her. I caressed her hair, before twisting a strand. Soon, my hand came to pinch her cheek.

« Maybe for others, you're a sinner and going to hell. But you saved me. You're taking care of me and helping me to heal nicely. I can't say how grateful I am to you. »

She blushed a bit and sipped her tea silently. «If you ever feel down because of your mom or anything, remember that you're my angel, alright ? That you're that precious to me. »

Her lips quivered a second and she nodded. « Stop being cheesy. »

A smile appeared automatically on my face. « You like that anyways. » She put her cup on the table and came to sit on my lap. «We'll go to hell together, okay ? »

I shook my head. « And I'm the one being cheesy ? » Her giggles were so cute that I found myself hugging her waist and kiss her cheeks.

Suddenly, she looked at me and shook her head. «I should told my mom you're a divorcee, so she'll pray for both of our souls. She will hate that. »

I pouted a bit at this sentence. « I would like being appreciated by your parents. I mean I would like to meet them but you won't let me !»

« Mom is too religious to be glad for us. A single mom with a divorcee both with children ? There's possibility she faints. » Sujin said with an amused face.

My lips formed a frown at this sentence, I wasn't particulary proud of being a divorcee and I receiced a sudden kiss. «But I like this fact you know. It's as if we were the pieces of differents puzzles learning to adjust to live together. I never dreamt of having this after Moonah was born. »

« This ? » I asked.

She rolled her eyes. « You know what I'm talking about. »

I sighed and shook my head. « No. Explain this to me. »

« A family ? A loving boyfriend, someone that makes me go on date and that sleep hugging my body. That will play go and have pottery dates with me. That helps with my daughter.  Just you know having a relation and living together it's completely crazy.»

« Your first boyfriend is definitely going to hell after how he mistreated you. » YongGuk stated dryly. I motioned him to shup up.

« Please say that less loudly. I don't want Moonah to hear that. He didn't mistreat either. Just neglect I guess. »

« Sinner. How can he leave you alone while pregnant ? » YongGuk asked, angry. I sighed and decided to a bit.

« Did I tell you his family call me to complain about how I try to make Moonah hate her dad  ? »

He widened his eyes and felt confused as I laughed loudly. «How can you laugh about this ? You're an mad woman.» He commented.

« Just your reaction. No everybody can be nice and responsible like you. I learned that the harsh way. » I said, before shoving a piece of apple in my mouth. He sighed and pecked my lips.

«Now you have to learn how to rely on me, okay ? »

Angel like the song of B.A.P/

By the way how do you find their recent comeback ? I'm personally very pleased with the music of Honeymoon and the loves are amazing ! I have to listen to the full album soon !

Have a good day