Jiyeon’s POV:

The next few days that went by in a blur after the graffiti’s fiasco, a miserable blur if I might call it so. Ever since that day, Hoseok hasn’t contacted me and no matter how much I called him, he just wouldn’t pick up any of my calls. And even if I saw him around in school, he’d pretend to not see me and just walked away from me.

And you know what’s the worse part?

The worse wasn’t the embarrassment from calling his name out loud when I see him and being well, obviously ignored, neither was it from being shameless and spamming him with an average of 50 calls per day or for walking beside, okay more like pestering him along the hallways every chance I could in an attempt to get him to at least, acknowledge my presence.

The embarrassment wasn’t from the stupid things I did to get his attention, such like waving my hands stupidly around, wearing a horse mask as per his nickname J-horse, walking to his home silently beside him only to be treated like a ghost or even going up to the stage during assembly time to call for his name, hoping to at least get a response from him and hopefully be able to talk. But even that failed, which resulted in the entire school laughing at me, thinking I was doing a ridiculous dare.

And yet, these weren’t the worse part. The worse part came from my feelings hurting each and every single day, being ignored by Hoseok, to have someone who was once so close to me cutting me out of his life, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back in. The worse part came from me knowing that I’ve been cut out of his life, and I had no idea why. I mean, well I sort of have an idea why, it happened from the graffiti’s fiasco, but why would that affect Hoseok so much?

Could it be that he likes me?

No. How can it be? Or can it?

Shaking these thoughts away, new monstrous thoughts decided to swirl my head. Except this time, it was thoughts of Taehyung’s once again.

Ever since that day, scenarios of Taehyung planting a kiss on my cheek kept replaying itself over and over again, and the only purpose of this memory? It was to give me more emotional torment than I could handle. All I could think of was how I’ve let Jisoo down, how it was probably the thing that ruined the friendship between Hoseok and me. The rumbling feelings of the heart when I recalled Taehyung’s intense gaze served no further help except throwing me into what I’d call, the deeper depths of hell.

I could no longer face Taehyung nor Jisoo, for facing them only reminded me of the fact that I didn’t even have Hoseok now. Granted, well I still have Haneul and I told her everything that transpired, but hey, what can a best friend do apart from hearing you out and lending you a shoulder to cry on? Nothing else could take away the huge empty void in my heart. No, scratch that. I already had a void in my heart thanks to Ji Eun’s death, so it’d be adding on the huge empty void already in my heart. The rest of BTS functioned as per normal as usual, but I was certain that all of them at least knew what was going on between Hoseok and I. How could they not? All of my seeking-Hoseok’s-attentions bound to get their attention too. Except, no matter how much I badgered Yoongi and Namjoon or sent Haneul to badger Yoongi, none of them would tell me why was Hoseok ignoring me.

For the second time in my life, I felt like I lost everybody important to me.

Remind me again, why did I let myself and my ice cold façade to drop and be attached emotionally to them?

Tae Hyung’s POV:

After what happened at the Graffiti’s place, Hoseok came by to my place, wanting to speak with me. Alone.

Now, Hoseok’s my hyung and I definitely respect and adore him, with the years of friendship and everything. But ever since Jiyeon appeared, there always seemed to be some sort of tension between him and me. I always felt like Hoseok was probably judging me and he probably didn’t approve of my ways and what not, after all, why would he?

It was apparent that he had taken a liking to Jiyeon. Something that has caused me to be oddly jealous even though I tried to keep my feelings for Jiyeon at bay, and avoided her by sticking to Jisoo.

As Hoseok stood in front of me, I could see the darkening in his eyes and gone was the sunshine hyung that I came to know of. His lips were in an upside down triangle, a tell tale sign that he was upset.

“Hey Tae. I came to speak to you today about Jiyeon. I just.. I really wanted to let you know that I do have feelings for her and that I may not know to what extent my feelings are for her, but it hurts, it hurts every-time she mentions you, about the ‘memories’ or whatever that you guys had. It hurts that I’m living under your shadow” Hoseok’s voice trembled as he muttered the words, spilling his feelings about whatever he’s been feeling for the past few months.

Having Hoseok talk and confess about his feelings in such an upfront manner to me, I was taken aback, and at the same time, speechless.

Speechless because I was appalled at how brave he was to face and admit his feelings, something that I could have never done, speechless because, in this case, I hadn’t just hurt Jiyeon, but also hurt my Hyung. Remorse was starting to seep into my bones, weighing down my already sinking heart.

“However, what hurts most was seeing you plant a kiss on her cheek. Seeing you do that, I noticed the glint in your eyes. She isn’t just a play thing to you, and you weren’t treating her like a life buoy for your feelings as well, most of us assumed. We know that you’ve a secret of your own, that you’re dealing with a lot on your plate. And as much as you try to tell yourself not to fall for her, not to get attached to her, I know better Tae. I see better.”

As Hoseok continued, the sinking continued and I felt my knees getting weak. This time, it wasn’t because of the guilt, but because he was right. No matter how hard I try to distance myself away from her, all I can think about is her. If she ate, if she was alright, if she missed me, if she moved on, if she truly tried to not fall in love with me and most importantly, was she happy with Hoseok during my absence? My heart sank because whatever he said, was true, so true that it was starting to hurt.

“It hurt me because, I see you suffering. I see you falling head over heels in love with her but you try so hard to hold yourself back. It hurt me because you’re in denial. It hurt me because if she wasn’t a play thing to you, then what is Jisoo? I don’t know man Tae, are you in love with the two of them? Or is Jisoo a substitute for Jiyeon, or is it the other way round? But I see it. I see the kiss you gave her, I see that it was sincere, it was genuine, I see that that was your true feelings. And for that, it felt like a knife stabbed right through me, knowing that one of my best bro, is in love with the girl I love and yet they’re denying themselves to be together.” Hoseok’s voice grew softer and I could see the tears brewing in his eyes and his effort to hold it all back.

“I just want you to be happy with her. I want you to be happy Tae. Trust me, Jiyeon is one heck of a special girl and if you let her go, you’re gonna regret it. I want you to give yourself a shot at being happy, to stop punishing yourself for all that has happened to you in the past. For that, I am going to leave Jiyeon. Not because I think I’m standing in your way of course, I don’t think I have a shot at that” His voice shook as he let out a tiny chuckle, a chuckle that sounded so fake even a deaf person could tell Hoseok’s really sad and he was just trying to hold it in.

“I’m leaving her because I want you to be her knight in shining armor. The one that protects her, to make her laugh, to make her smile, to be her sunshine and make her rainy days a little bit better.”

And with that Hoseok gave me a pat, turned around and walked away from me.

Can I really be her knight in shining armor? Was I even a knight-in-shining-armor material?

Jiyeon’s POV:

-driiiiingggggg-

Ah, there goes the bell, signaling our recess. Another period of ti