Jiyeon’s POV:

It’s been about a week since I avoided BTS and Taehyung. Yes, Hoseok included. In my period of healing, I’ve thought a lot of things through. And anyone from BTS would probably hinder my thoughts.
 

I came to realize whatever that has transpired, was a one sided crush on my side and I feel like I’ve been too emotional about it.

For some reason, Taehyung has been bringing out a lot of emotional parts on my side. One that I was not used to after guarding myself with my icy walls for years but it’s as if he always managed to bring old emotional Jiyeon out. I had no idea how he did it, but everytime I interacted with him, he was able to create storms inside of me, bringing out all my emotions.
 

Which brings me to the realization, was I after all just a masochist looking for pain to cover up the void that I felt in my heart? Was he a way for me to get past the whole survivor’s guilt that’s been building up within me? To feel like I deserve pain and meltdowns in my life? Did I in fact truly like this guy, or just the way he made me feel?
 

Argh, it’s 2.01am right now. Thank god it’s a Saturday today or I’m screwed thanks to my bloody late night thoughts. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, I have absolutely no idea why I’m overreacting over a crush. Okay he may not even be a crush after all. 

I picked up my phone, thinking if I should call Haneul since she’s really the only one that knows my past and well she’s the best bet I’ve got to count on for such conflicting emotions. But I decided not seeing the timing, she’d probably be fast asleep with her limbs sprawled out everywhere.

I threw on a baggy sweater with my sweatpants accompanied by uggs. At this point, I really didn’t care if I looked unbalanced or if I dressed like a fashion terrorist. All I wanted to do was to get on my baby, my Harley Davidson Road King bike, that was colored in Red hot candy color and drive around town getting a breather.

And my plans were foiled.

I gawked blindly at the guy who has his hands up as if he was about to knock the door right before I opened it. What the hell was he doing here?

“Hi Jiyeon!!” There it is again, flashing me his signature boxy smile. Gosh, can he stop doing that and sending tingles throughout my entire body?

“Ta-taehyung?” My jaw was still wide open as I stared in disbelief. Huh, Is this a dream? What is he doing here at such a late timing? As if he could see the questions coming out of my head like a pop-bubble icon, he pat my head and proceeded to let himself into my house.

“I bought us popcorn and some rice cake! Figured we might as well spend some time together considering we haven’t been around each other much this week!” What??? I stared at him as if he was some crazy deranged guy that ran out of the mental hospital.

He tugged my wrist and sat me down beside him.

Little did he know that my wrist was not the only thing that he had tugged.
One single action of his sent me into a downward spiral, tugging my heartstrings along with it.

“Do you have any movies in particular that you want to watch?” One of his eyebrows was raised at me, waiting for my response.

I shook my head.

“Actually, Taehyung, I was about to go out on a drive, so if you don’t mind I’d really like to go for that drive now.” I had to get away, before I had my thoughts getting jumbled up again and end up over-reacting, overthinking.

I saw his mouth inched a little open as if to protest about my previous statement. “By myself.”

Now he just looks like a kicked puppy and for some reason, I felt myself softened up at that expression of him.

He really does seem like a puppy. So cute.

All of a sudden, he leaped up from his place on the couch and started jumping around me begging me to take him on the drive. God he’s really an epitome of a puppy.

“Come on then, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m riding on a bike. Think you can handle that?”

He merely smirked before following me out the door,  heading towards the carpark.

“Woah. Is this your bike? IT LOOKS SO COOL!” He exclaimed out so loud in the very quiet car park that I actually felt embarrassed even though there was really nobody here. “I didn’t know you’re a biker. God you’re so cool and awesome! So is your bike!” His mouth kept opening and closing and I couldn’t tell if he was in awe that I could drive a bike or he was in awe of my bike. Nonetheless, I chuckled and threw him a helmet.

“Here, put this on so you wouldn’t die even if we crashed.”

“U-uh, your driving skills are trustable right?” Just when I thought his eyes couldn’t get any bigger than it is already, it just got a whole lot larger, fearing for his life.

“Well, I’m still pretty much alive but there’s no guarantees so.” I started putting on my own black helmet onto my head, making sure that it was buckled tight whereas he was staring at the helmet helplessly.

“How do you wear this thing?” I snorted when I saw him fiddle around with the helmet, unsure of where to buckle and how to get it to fit properly.

“You haven’t rode a bike before?” He shook his head slowly, looking like a lost puppy. Pfft, this guy.

Three steps closer towards him and I never realized that he was actually quite tall. Normally I wouldn’t have had to try and reach his head, but now that I had to, I realized he was about one head taller than me? I stood on my tippy toes, trying to help him wear the helmet and there he was having his elongated lips curling up at the corner, as if he wanted to laugh but was suppressing it unwillingly.

“Hold onto me, I’m not sure if you’ll actually be okay with it, considering this is your first time, so I’ll go slow.”
 

“Well, if this was in some other situation, I’d definitely think you meant something else. “ I felt heat rushing to my cheeks. Urgh, stupid taehyung.

Why is he shaking my heart up like that? He’s freaking confusing my heart even more.

Do I really like him or do I just like these storms and emotions he created in me?

I sped off, forgetting the fact that I told Taehyung I’d go slow. But mostly because I wanted to get back at him for his statement, what better way could there be than to just speed off making poor puppy Taehyung scared? I laughed cynically when I felt his grip on my waist tightened. At the same time, tingles were sent throughout every inch of my body, from my fingertips down to my toes. Flustered, I ended up driving faster than I intended to and his gripped only tightened even more. Although this time, he was also leaning on my back.

I drove us around Seoul because to be honest, I didn’t had any idea where to go at 3+ in the morning. I looked around the night scenery, taking in the beautiful lights that seemed like bokehs, the cold winter air that was passing through me despite my thick winter clothings.

Taehyung was starting to be less afraid of the speed now and he let one hand go, gesturing to me all the buildings and street lights that he deemed pretty. As cheap as this may sound, I whimpered silently about the loss of contact, the loss of warmth from him. And so, I sped up again, hoping for him to hold me tight.

I chuckled lightly seeing as to how hard Taehyung was holding and hugging me, my plan worked. I’m pretty sure he looked like a mouse caught in a trap , frightened and helpless.

“Yah! Park Jiyeon! Are you doing this on purpose?!” I heard his muffled shouting from behind me and I sped even faster.

This time, I had a destination in mind.

I dropped us off along the riverbank, taking in the beautiful scenery that came along with it. In the darkness of the night where the