J-Hope: Write an essay on the Kingdom of Silla. What? Huh? I can’t do it.

Uncle Amos: You can. We have gone through a lot on this topic. Just remember the videos and books that I recommended. ‘Hwarang’ the drama that I told you to check it out? I hope you actually did your homework.

J-Hope: Err… Fine. * Takes pencil and start writing a draft *

Hana: How is everything? *Brings out orange juices from the kitchen*

Uncle Amos: Your son is doing fine. He just needs to believe in himself.

J-Hope: I don’t understand how History is a requirement to go TISA.

Hana: Oh darling. TISA is not just about the training and finding your talent. It is also about your academics. That’s why I hired Mr Amos here since he was a student in the academy.

J-Hope: I didn’t know that until today. Tsk. you should have told me from the beginning even before we left D’Cirque.

Uncle Amos: Well. I didn’t know you wanted to go to TISA and hey, I know the treat and tricks of TISA. So you might as well call yourself lucky.

Hana: Alright. I need to leave. I will see you later. *Kiss J-hope’s head* Bye darling!

J-Hope: Bye Mama.

*Hana grabs her handbag and coat. She left the apartment with a smile before closing the door. *

J-Hope: This is so unfair! How is she able to teach the boy to dance and not me?

Uncle Amos: Someone is jealous.

J-Hope: I’m NOT! I mean she could put her time and effort to train me so I can dance like her. What is the use of me studying all this crappy subjects when I just want to dance?

Uncle Amos: Whoa. Hold up young man. Dance is just dance. Everyone can dance. Even me. *start dancing*

J-Hope: Ok. Ok. Stop! You are so embarrassing. I can’t believe you’re my teacher all these years.

Uncle Amos: Anyway, what I am trying to say is that professionals take their craft into another left. You can either be good or bad at dancing. Still, if you learn more from the world, you will be one of the greatest people. Learning never stops.

J-Hope: Hmm. You win then. TISA is my goal now so back to the Kingdom of Joseon. *Sigh*

Not long after we met Madam Soomin, Mama has been offered a ‘part-time’ job. She is mentoring Madam Soomin’s grandson for the same dance competition. Fortunately, that day she is not training that boy in my house. I am happy that she has a job to cater to both of us but it seems unfair to me. I hate this feeling since I want Mama to mentor me instead. Of course I showed Mama my choreography and she gave me bits and pieces of advice. Still, I wish I have Mama to myself.

I do feel lonely too but at least I have Mr Amos by my side. He has been my home school teacher since I was young. Headmaster Alice hired him to teach me and the other young performers since she believes education is an important factor. I guess I can't run away from all those lame subjects since TISA requires 4 passed subjects. Sigh…

Uncle Amos: That’s for today. In a few weeks’ time, it will be your written test and also the dance competition. Are you ready?

J-Hope: I am always ready!

*Love Battery ringtone is playing*

Uncle Amos: Hello! Yes… It has been a long time, doctor! The Maxel Art Gallery? Hmm…Alright. I will be there and see if I could help. *Hangs up phone*

J-Hope: You seem busy huh? What are you exactly?

Uncle Amos: I am really a busy man. I can safely say that I am like a guardian angel.

J-Hope: Hmm. That is hard to believe.

Uncle Amos: Young man, someday you will realise what’s really matter. Make sure to study and practice hard.

*Hoseok and his mother is sitting at the dining table. Hoseok is studying while Hana is busy sketching. *

J-Hope: Mama, what are you doing? I have never seen you so hardworking. What’s with all those sketches.

Hana: I am trying to get inspiration from the dances that I performed and putting up new dance moves.

J-Hope: Is that choreography for your upcoming performance when we come back to D’Cirque?

Hana: No, darling. This is for Madam Soomin’s grandson. He seems to have trouble with his dance but full of passion. His dancing is like water flowing through the music but needs some guidance.

J-Hope: Oh… That’s… Good…

Hana: Is there something wrong? I could help with your homework.

J-Hope: It’s ok...Mama

Hana: You don’t look ok to me. What is it you want to tell me? I am here for you.

J-Hope: It’s nothing.

Hana: Are you sure? It is written all over you face. You are hiding something.

J-Hope: I said it is ok, Mama.

Hana: It is not good if you are distancing yourself from me. I want to know what you are feeling. I know how it feels to balance the dance competition and the written test. I can find a way to…

J-Hope: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM FEELING!

Hana: Hoseok!

J-Hope: You want to me tell you what’s wrong?! Let me tell you what’s wrong! It’s YOU!

Hana: Hoseok?!

J-Hope: You think you understand how I feel? Mama, you don’t! Maybe it is just me but you have been spending so much time with that student. I happy that you got a job but I think you are so passionate about it that you forgot about me.

Hana: I never did, darling. I am making time with you like right now.

J-Hope: But not like this! I have always wanted to dance your choreography. I want to be just like you. I want to us to dance together. I thought leaving D’Cirque would probably give us the opportunity to work together. I don’t remember the time I had spent with you since we moved here. It has always been TISA and the dance competition. Now, you are making new moves for the student. What about me?

Hana: Hoseok, you have been brilliant in my eyes. I watched you grown so much even I am busy. I am doing my best to cater for the both of us. You are already talented! Everyone in D’Cirque knows that. We have been discussing whether you are ready to be part of the show. You just need proper training.

J-Hope: How is that? TISA? That’s your answer?! How I wish I have a father! You have no idea how jealous I am to those kids with 2 parents. *Storms off*

After that heated argument, I heard my mother crying in the dining room. We never talked for days. We just pretended not to see each other even though she had breakfast ready in the morning. It was our very first argument. It was also very hard for me to concentrate in my studies as well as my dance. I got a lot of scolding from Mr Amos for making many careless mistakes.

♬Hey mama

ijen naege gidaedo dwae eonjena yeope

Hey mama

naege akkimeopsi

jusyeotgie beotimmogieotgie

Hey mama

ijen adeulnaemi mideumyeon dwae useumyeon dwae

Hey mama

Hey mama

Hey mama

I’m sorry mama

haneulgateun eunhye ije araseo mama♬

*Turns off music player*

J-Hope: Sigh…

I lay down on the grass patch and looked up to the sky. It has become a habit for me to come to the park while waiting for Mama to finish her dance lesson at home. I took a deep breath. The competition is coming up in a few days. I just completed my written test for TISA and all is left is my focus for dance. I looked at my wrist watch for the time. It is going to be over soon. I better make my way back home. I got up and start my heavy steps home while I pass by a group of happy children.

Areum: My teddy is so cute right? My mother made her a dress! My Oppa say Apple is getting prettier like me every day and maybe she will be a dancer too!

I smirked to myself as I heard the excitement of the child. She seems to have a very good family. Her brother is so nice too. I wonder what would be like if I have a younger sibling too. That would impossible but it is nice thought. Still, I don’t really spoke much to Mama. We never did update each other but my guess Mr Amos has become our messenger in our silent treatment. He told me that both mama and I need to sort this out ourselves. I want him to guide us but he had to rush to a party at a famous gallery.

I am almost reaching home when suddenly a loud siren was heard from a distance. I looked up front and saw an ambulance parking right at our apartment. I wondered who need help. Perhaps it could be the old man who has been living alone. He could have sustained another fall. I walked even faster to the entrance until I saw familiar orange hair colour on the crutches which the paramedics brought out. Oh !

J-Hope: Mama?!

That was when I found myself running towards the ambulance. A boy shorter than me was standing near her. That must be the student. I approached him

J-Hope: Is my mother in there?

The boy looked at me for a moment and finally realise that I have the features as my mother. He helped me explain to the paramedics that I am her son and to take me in the ambulance too. When I got in, I saw mama’s pale face. She had stains of blood on her shirt and at the corner of . She was already on the oxygen tank as she lay unconscious. I held her hand. It was cold. That was the moment I felt the most regretful in my entire life.