When he woke up the next morning, Jongdae was alone. He wondered if it had all been some bizarro dream, Baekhyun sleeping on his couch, crying into his shoulder, Baekhyun...kissing him. Jongdae rolled over and buried his face into his pillow, trying to figure out how he felt. He decided quickly to forgo analyzing his emotions and see if Baekhyun was anywhere in his house.

He rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, Jongsu’s room (where Jongsu was still fast asleep) , the front of the house, the kitchen. No trace of Baekhyun. Jongdae tried not to read into it, he probably just had to go to work and didn’t want to wake Jongdae. Typically though, Baekhyun would have let a note, but maybe he was late, or maybe Jongdae just missed it.

“Uncle” Jongsu was in the doorway, bleary eyed, “can we visit grandma today?”

“Yeah but after school okay? Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll make breakfast.” Jongdae said, kissing Jongsu’s forehead and heading to the kitchen. He kept his eyes pealed for a note, or something. He checked his phone, no texts or missed calls. Jongdae began to panic, what if Baekhyun was more drunk than he thought and didn’t know what was going on, maybe Baekhyun didn’t actually want to kiss Jongdae he was just stressed or tired, maybe Baekhyun did want to kiss Jongdae but Jongdae was just a bad kisser.

He pushed that last thought out of his head, he was fairly sure he was a good kisser. Also if Baekhyun really was even a little drunk the quality of the kissing wouldn’t have mattered. “Uncle!” Jongsu exclaimed, rushing up, Jongdae realized while he had been caught up in thinking he had accidentally overfilled the cereal bowl, leaving a pool of milk on the table and floor.

“Aish” He hissed, finding a towel and quickly wiping it up. Maybe he should call Baekhyun, or text, that would be more casual. Should he stop by the coffee shop? He threw the towel in the sink to take care of later and set up Jongsu with breakfast while he went to get dressed.

He checked his phone again, nothing. He opened Baekhyun’s text thread and tried to think of something to say but all he could think of was “good morning” and that sounded lame so he put his phone down and got dressed.

Jongsu had cleared his plate and they were ready to go, thankfully the school Jongdae taught at and the school Jongsu attended was the same so the commute was easy. On the bus Jongsu told Jongdae about a weird dream he had had but Jongdae was only half listening. He was hyper aware of his phone in his pocket, waiting for it to vibrate. It never did.

The school day was long and arduous.

“Are you okay?” Jonghyun, one of the literature teachers waved his hand in front of Jongdae’s face, Jongdae looked up startled as Jonghyun sat across from him at the lunch table.

“What? Oh yeah. Just uh, rough night.” Jongdae could feel himself blushing, was he supposed to not mention it? Would Baekhyun be upset if Jongdae talked about it? He trusted Jonghyun who had become his closest friend aside from Baekhyun.

“I’ve had some of those.” Jonghyun said slyly, “girlfriend spend the night?” Jongdae realized Jonghyun didn’t know he was gay. That wasn’t a big deal since Jonghyun was the gayest elementary school teacher he had ever met.

“Um, not exactly.” Jongdae said, trying to focus on his food instead of Jonghyun’s piercing eyes.

“Girlfriend didn’t spend the night?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend”

“Oh, is that why you're grumpy?”

“Why are you doing this to me! Just eat!”

“No I’d rather dig into your personal life if that’s alright.” Jonghyun put his face forward so Jongdae was forced to look into his pouty eyes.

“This, friend, uh, spent the night, and this friend has done it before so it wasn’t a big deal but this time was um, different.” Jongdae poked at his rice. Jonghyun leaned back with satisfaction.

“This friend...is it a boy?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jongdae focused on his rice.

“Ahhhh. What was different about it?” Jonghyun leaned forward again, a smile spreading on his face.

“I have to go, I just remembered I promised I’d meet with Principal Lee during lunch.” Jongdae hastily made an excuse and stood up, almost spilling his food.

“I’ll figure you out yet Kim Jongdae.” Jonghyun yelled after him, Jongdae wove through the students back to his classroom where he was safe from Jonghyun.

Jongsu was sitting in his classroom alone, eating quietly with his head down.

“Jongsu?” Jongdae asked, walking forward slowly, almost as if not to startle him, “what are you doing here? Why aren't you with your friends in the dining hall?” Jongsu looked up but quickly looked down again but Jongdae had enough time to notice Jongsu’s puffy eyes and tear streaked face.

He walked over and sat down next to Jongsu in one of the small desks. “Jongsu? What’s wrong?” Jongsu didn’t look up from his untouched food. “Why are you here alone?”

“I just wanted to...I just wanted to be alone.” Jongsu muttered.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Jongsu are you crying?”

“No” Jongsu wiped away a tear. Jongdae wasn’t sure what to do, so he simply got his food and returned to the spot next to Jongsu.

“Mind if I eat with you?” He asked softly, Jongsu shook his head and Jongdae sat down. The two of them finished their lunch in silence until the bell rang, when Jongsu lept up and left the room before Jongdae could say anything else.

After school got out Jongdae masterfully avoided Jonghyun and found Jongsu sitting, alone, on the curb. That was weird, Jongsu wasn’t alone, he had friends that he played with and hung out with at school so Jongdae wasn’t sure why Jongsu was alone today.

“Want to get hot chocolate on our way home?” Jongdae asked, taking Jongsu’s backpack so he wouldn’t have to carry it. Jongsu shrugged, “Let's stop by and see your Hyungs in the coffee shop, you can get a cookie too if you want but only because today is special.”

“Is grandma going to die?” Jongsu asked quietly. Jongdae stopped dead in his tracks. That’s why Jongsu had been so upset. Jongdae felt his heart ache. He walked up next to Jongsu and they resumed their trek to the bus stop, Jongdae put his hand on Jongsu’s head.

“I dunno Jongsu. I hope not.” Jongdae said, there was no point in lying to Jongsu at this point.

“If she dies what’s going to happen to us?”

“We’ll figure it out okay?” Jongdae stopped and knelt down, putting his hands on Jongsu’s shoulders and looking him in the eye, “Hey, I’m not going anywhere okay? So you and I are gonna figure it out. We are in it together alright? Also you have all your Hyungs at the coffee shop and Taeyeon Noona who will help take care of us. We are gonna be alright okay?” Jongdae said firmly, so firmly he almost believed it himself. Jongsu nodded and bitterly wiped away another tear. Jongdae sighed and stood up again, taking Jongsu’s hand this time as they continued walking to the coffee shop.

Jongdae wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not that Baekhyun wasn’t working, but judging by the look Luhan gave him when they walked in Baekhyun had already told LUhan and by extension, Minseok that they had kissed. “Well well well, look who it is.” Luhan said, his usual greeting for Jongdae, “He isn’t here right now if that’s what you were hoping for.”

“We were hoping for coffee so if you can’t help us with that I guess we can go somewhere else-” Jongdae pretended to turn around, Luhan held out his hand.

“Alright fair enough. What can I get you. Sorry I don’t have your order memorized yet.”

“You don’t have anyone's orders memorized.” Minseok emerged from the back room and playfully hit Luhan’s arm.

“I do! I know that you like...” Luhan paused and thought, Minseok glared with his arms crossed, “coffee...” Luhan offered weakly. Minseok rolled his eyes.

“Hopeless. You are utterly hopeless.”

“You love me anyway though” Luhan said,

“Jongsu have you ever had a frappuccino? Starbucks has really good ones I hear.”

“Alright alright sorry.” Luhan refocused his attention on Jongdae, “What can I get you.”

“One hot tea, one hot chocolate, and whatever cookie Jongsu wants.” Jongdae said, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. Jongsu pointed through the glass and Luhan got it for him. Jongdae opened his wallet and a small piece of paper fell out. He picked it up and realized it was a note. From Baekhyun.

It felt like Jongdae had forgotten how to read, the note wasn’t very long but it did take about three read throughs for him to process what it was saying.

“I don’t mean to kiss and run but I had a schedule change and had to leave early. I hope you slept well Jongdae ahh-- we’ll talk soon...-BBH”

That was it? I hope you slept well, we’ll talk soon? Jongdae wasn’t expecting a love letter but this seemed...insincere.

“Um, are you going to pay with that?”

“Do you accept notes from Baekhyun here because if so I have a lifetime supply” Jongdae recovered and shoved it into his wallet, retrieving his real card and passing that to Luhan.

“He left the note in your wallet?” Luhan raised his eyebrow.

“Luhan-” Minseok said in almost a warning tone,

“What?” Jongdae said, looking between them, “What did he say? You knew about the note?”

“Uh, yeah” Luhan looked down.

“What else do you know?” Jongdae felt himself blushing. Luhan made a weird face and it looked like he was going to try to act out what he knew so Jongdae stopped him, “actually nevermind you probably know everything.”

“Sorry...”

“I mean I figured he would tell you. It’s not a secret or anything I don’t think.” Jongdae looked at his tea and didn’t say anything. Luhan handed back the card without swiping it,

“Consider these, sorry my roommate is an and doesn't know how to interact with people, drinks”

“It should be stronger than.” Jongdae laughed, trying to smile,

“It’s...you should call him, or just go over, he is at home right now last time i checked.”

“I have to visit my mom but I might talk to him later.” Jongdae suddenly wanted to be anywhere other than the coffee shop.

“Jongdae before you go-” Luhan looked like he was about to shout whatever he needed to say but he glanced around and said in a soft voice, “He really likes you...Baekhyun I mean, he..uh...he really likes you” Luhan looked around like he had just said something dirty or wrong, which in a way wasn’t in inappropriate reaction. Jongdae didn’t say anything, but simply grabbed Jongsu and left with their drinks.

The visit to his mother's was short, she was still in a coma so all there was to do was make small talk with Junmyeon and then leave.

On the bus he checked his phone, a text from Jonghyun asking if he wanted to get drinks, a text from Taeyeon asking if he wanted to get drinks, Jongdae ignored them. Jongsu fell asleep on Jongdae’s shoulder and he opened the thread from Baekhyun again.

Jongdae: Hey.

It was a lame text he knew, but he wasn’t sure what else to say. Baekhyun read the message but the three dots did not appear, Jongdae panicked.

Jongdae: You left pretty early this morning, is everything okay?

Baekhyun read it, Baekhyun started typing, Baekhyun stopped typing, Baekhyun started typing, Baekhyun stopped typing for a really long time, He typed, he sent;

Baekhyun: Yeah.

Jongdae wasn’t sure what to say to that. Baekhyun started typing again but it stopped shortly after it begun and no more messages were sent. Jongdae sighed and put his phone in his pocket. Maybe Baekhyun had changed his mind. Maybe Luhan was wrong. Jongdae leaned on the window and watched the city float by. Jongsu was still asleep when they got to their bus stop and Jongdae didn’t have the heart to wake him, so he somehow managed to shoulder all their bags and carried Jongsu the three blocks to their house.

The house was bright and quiet, melancholy in the light of the winter. Jongdae had a small christmas tree in the corner, he remembered decorating it with Baekhyun and Jongsu before making hot cocoa and settling on the couch for a movie, he had stockings above the fireplace, one for him, one for Jongsu, one for his mom, and one for Jongdeok. Jongsu insisted they hang one for his dad and Jongdae wasn’t about to argue.

Jongdae laid Jongsu on the couch and covered him with a blanket, watching the soft rise and fall of Jongsu’s chest as he breathed quietly. Jongdae hadn’t wanted to be a parent, he hadn’t planned on it, but now every time he looked at Jongsu he got such an overwhelming feeling of love and warmth, he wanted nothing but to protect Jongsu and make sure he succeeded.

Jongdae stood up, not sure what to do. It was too early to start dinner, too late to start anything else.

He checked his phone again, Baekhyun was radio silent. He sat at the dining room table and put his head in his hands.

Jongdae wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but he was awoken by a crack of thunder and lightning, accompanied by his phone buzzing next to him.

He answered without looking at the caller id,

“Hello?”

“Jongdae?” Baekhyun unmistakeable voice rang through on the other end. Jongdae stood up and went to the living room where Jongsu was sitting up looking scared,

“Uncle what’s going on?” he asked quietly,

“It’s just a storm okay? It’s no big deal.” Jongdae said to Jongsu, helping him into his bed “Baekhyun?”

“Yeah hi um,” Baekhyun sounded, scared? Frantic?

“Is everything okay?”

“Um, well, our power went out.” Baekhyun said, Jongdae remembered how Baekhyun was scared of the dark.

“Are you alone? Where are you?”

“Yeah Jongin is with Taemin and the others are at the coffee shop, I was home alone and the lights just all went out.”

“How much phone battery do you have?”

“I’m fine on phone battery, I’m trying to find candles or a flashlight or something but Minseok ing hides eve- WHAT IS THAT- oh oh okay it's okay it was just the tree outside.” Jongdae could hear banging as Baekhyun presumably tore his house apart in the dark, he could also hear dogs barking.

“Baekhyun where specifically in your house are you?”

“I’m uh I’m in Jongin’s room because I thought he had a flashlight but i guess he lied all he has is a herd of dogs. I bet Minseok has a flashlight but last time I went into his room I found stuff I wish I hadn’t found...”

“Ok relax okay?” Baekhyun sounded like he was on the verge of full panic attack, “When are Minseok and Luhan getting home?”

“I don't know! I think they were going to the hospital? So maybe late? I know I was going to be alone for dinner and then the storm and now the lights are out and I- “ there was a crash and Baekhyun swore and a dog yelped,

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun? Baekhyun!” Jongdae was really close to trying to find a taxi to go to Baekhyun’s house.

“It’s okay I’m okay i just tripped and fell I’m okay, oh , im bleeding. It’s fine I’m fine. I haven’t found a flashlight yet.”

“I have power here, are the busses still running?”

“I can’t leave , Jongin will kill me if i leave his dogs alone during a storm.” Baekhyun sounded defeated. “Jongdae” He sounded small, Jongdae wanted to hold him, or comfort him, Baekhyun was such a ray of light in and of himself it was hard to picture him in the dark.

“It’s okay you’re gonna be okay. Just stay on the phone okay? I’m not going anywhere.” Jongdae, “do you want me to come over?” He wasn’t sure how he was going to do that but honestly if Baekhyun asked he would run. Baekhyun was silent, “Baekhyun? Stay with me okay? I bet the power will come back on before you know it okay?”

“Jongdae-” Baekhyun sounded like a child, “I’m sorry”

“For what?”

“I- I’m sorry” Baekhyun was concerning him now.

“Baekhyun it’s okay alright? Whatever you think you did you are fine okay? I’m here for you now and that isn’t gonna change.”

“Jongdae ah-”

“Where are you now?”

“Minseok's bed.”

“Alright, that’s a good place to be. Tell me about it.” Jongdae used this when Jongsu had hard nights, he would have him describe his surroundings, it would distract Jongsu long enough for him to fall asleep.

“About Minseok’s bed?”

“Yeah”

“It’s big, it's warm and soft, he has really thick blankets and soft pillows.”

“That sound’s really nice.”

“Sometimes when I would get scared as a kid I would sneak to Minseok’s house and sleep in his bed, he never minded. Even after Chanyeol left I would sleep with Minseok and Luhan..” Baekhyun sounded like a child, “Even though he probably didn’t want me here Minseok would never kick me out.”

“Minseok is a really good friend.” Jongdae said. He hoped Baekhyun was calming down, he sounded calmer. Jongdae was still considering going over. If he didn’t have to deal with Jongsu he probably would have already been at Baekhyun’s house.  “Baekhyun the storm doesn’t look like it's letting up.” Jongdae said, checking the report online, “Do you want me to come over?”

“It’s late, and the busses won’t be running and you have Jongsu and my house is cold and dark and-”

“Do you want me to come over?” Jongdae repeated,

“Yes.” Baekhyun said softly.