`It was the perfect ending for a story only i didn't know. A story where i never even existed or gradually start to believe i wasn't even alive.`

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

narrator's POV

sunggyu strolled inside the town he used to called 'home'. It's been years since he last came to boclain. It was this rushing feeling, a familiar kind of warmess but at the same time, none that he had known before.

Boclain was a complete opposite of the cosmopolitan Hevediths. the smell of fresh baked cinnamon rolls was overwhelming, flowing over the air of this little country, the sound of kids squealing, frolicking in the winter snow, playing snowball fights, birds chirping, owl howling and everything in between. he missed everything here. but the glittering stars on the twilight dawn was what he missed the most.

the sun has settled down, turning itself into the bleak dark sky full of gleaming stars. his footsteps lead him to the open wide hill. sunggyu closed his eyes trying to find the place he used to know. this place.. there used to be a small cottage standing alone, the velvet roses around the corner of the house as the sweet smell blazed all over the house, the small stone pavement infront of it, there were laughter, hapiness and glorious moments, it was all once upon a time.

a teardrop rolled from his cheek as he opened his eyes slowly finding himself in an empty grass field. *there used to be the three of us here..* sunggyu kissed away the small drops of water flowing just below his eyes as he sat on the grass, eyeing the land that was once his'. "sunggyu..?" a voice strolled its way to sunggyu's ear as he turned around. a boy, probably his age sending in a quick grin at him "you're sunggyu, right? it's me jiseob" he said in a husky voice, sunggyu furrowed his eyes as he fliched "you're that.. jiseob who run the.. ramyeon shop?' the guy beamed and nodded "you really are sunggyu!" he gave him a quick boy hug

"how do you know it's me?" sunggyu looked at him, amazed "it was easy to spot you, i just felt that it was you," he said sternly "but it's been years since i last saw you so i wasn't very sure at first.. but dude! it's really you!" jiseob still couldn't believe he could meet his once best friend again

"where have you been?" jiseob looked at him concerned "i moved to heveridths because of that old guy's job" sunggyu rolled his eyes "how are your parents?" jiseob asked. sunggyu wasn't very sure with what jiseob meant by 'parents' because no parents would abandon their child, even when that child ran away, they're not even trying to find him, bring him back and show him some love. "i don't know" sunggyu coldly answers. the term parent only exists until he reached the age 14. he hadn't remember their faces anymore since then.

jiseob gave him an apologetic smile as he tried to change the subject "man! i hate to admit it but i kinda miss teasing you! it's been like 4 years and you never contacted me," he started to nag "not even once" jiseob flicked sunggyu head as sunggyu growled "you never change, jiseob. this has always been your only life" sunggyu said sarcastically "dude i have a life other than flicking your head!" jiseob swung his arms around sunggyu as he start to head lock him and sunggyu only laughed. for a moment, he felt better.

"why are you here? did you finally came back?" jiseob kicked the pebbles on the road as they walked around the area "i don't know.. " sunggyu glanced at the unfamiliar pathways, he remembered clearly that these pathways used to be a small lake "liar~" jiseob hummed "where do you live now?" jiseob took sunggyu's expressionless truth as a joke "i said, i don't know.. i just arrived here" sunggyu shrugged "you're serious? i mean.. you don't know where are you going to stay for tonight?" jiseob throw him a concern face, sunggyu only nodded "come to my house, then!" he offered as he lead sunggyu to a small ramyeon shop between the other small stores

jiseob lead sunggyu to a small guestroom on the second floor, he creaked the door open and found a nice comfy bedroom "so.. this is your room! use it as you please" jiseob slapped his friend's back as sunggyu coughed "thanks.." he smiled a little "no probs.. " sunggyu sat down on the bed, he felt both tired and confused. "hey, you want to tell me what happened?" jiseob sat next to him. sunggyu told him everything since he was the only person he could trust right now. jiseob and sunggyu used to tell everyone everything, maybe jiseob was the only one who knows about him.

---------------------------***------------------------

"it's been hard on you" jiseob softened as he patted his friend's back. sunggyu only shrugged "it's all.. messed up" sunggyu bit his lips "dude. you're not alone. count me on" jiseob swung his arms around sunggyu as he smiled "thanks.. really... for this room, for understanding.. for everything" sunggyu bitterly smiled. jiseob laid down on the bed as sunggyu sat beside him "so.. this girl you're talking about.. how is she? she knows youre alive.. right?" jiseob slowly said as slight of concern slid down his mouth. sunggyu eyes jolted as his heart flinched "sun-ah.. did seungyeol told her i was dead too? what if.. " sunggyu quickly stood up as he grabbed his coat "Darn!" he screamed as he banged the door and ran downstairs.

"hey wait!" jiseob was after him quickly pulling him back inside. sunggyu eyes were alarmed and terrified, he shook his head slowly "don't stop me.. i have to go see her before she believes the rumour" sunggyu shook his friend's hand but jiseob kept pulling him back "it's really dark right now! it has passed 1 am! besides you can't go anywhere in this kind of weather" jiseob pointed the storm outside the window. sunggyu eyes glued to the fact he was right. he starred at the white nightmare ahead him as the breezy wind stormed off the trees, blowing them off.

"but.." sunggyu clenched his fists. he was just too worried, he was afraid. "can't it wait till morning? i know you're worried but you can't act stubbornly" jiseob reminded as he lead his friend back to the corner table of the shop. he offered sunggyu a bowl of ramyeon but sunggyu refused to eat "i'm afraid.. this is the first time i felt this way.. i felt so.. " sunggyu sighed as he looked outside the window, as the snow storm kept coming. he suddenly remembered her smile, the sweet nocturne of his heart. "sunggyu-ah.. don't be like that.. i'm sure she'll be okay" jiseob patted sunggyu's back slowly to calm him down. sunggyu didn't say anything but that moment of silence has been very

-----------------------***---------------------

sunggyu slightly curled up as he stretched his hands. his eyes twitched as the shed of light entered the room, he growled a little before turning to his right and glanced at the clock. 4.16. the clock hand kept moving, it was the only sound he heard that morning. he quickly stood up as he shivered, quickly grabbing the old leather coat and put it on. he looked around the room feeling unfamiliar and realized he was not home, he quickly grab a pen and leave a note, thanking his only friend.

sunggyu tip-toed to the door as he turned the doorknob slowly, creating a small creak sound from the friction of the door. he went downstairs quietly. there was no one. he slowly pushed the enterance door open as the winter wind emerged in creating his whole body to shiver. it was a grand escape. he looked around the small country as the sky turned crimson red, the sun has risen. he quickly strolled as he kicked the snow out of his old pair of converse.

he walked to the border, slowly reaching the limit between the two countries. when he was about to take a step closer, he remembered sungyeol's words "sorry seungyeol.. i guess i have to break the promise" he said to himself before confidently stepping through the borderline from boclain to heveridths. so there he was again, bringing himself to the war.

he looked around the city as he walked his way to the castle. he realized everyone was wearing pitch black clothes as some of them looked rather horrible, like they've been crying. he walked pass a number of people slightly chattering and glanced at him. sunggyu would politely bowed down but they quickly looked away, they just did. he started questioning himself 'what happened to this once crowded, colourful, glimmering town?' Sunggyu kept the thought to himself as he walked through the zebra crosses and finally stood in front of the giant gate of the castle.

suddenly, the guards started to throw him glares as they start to mumbled something. a familiar looking guard quickly strolled and walked outside, grabbing sunggyu by the collar and dragged him away from the castle's gate. "Are you insane?!" seungyeol threw him on the hard pavement as sunggyu growled in pain "what..?" sunggyu catched a view of horror in seungyeol's face.

seungyeol quickly hide sunggyu in a small alley beside the castle "you can't be here! i told everyone you're dead!" he slowly screamed at sunggyu as sunggyu eyes flinched "i have to see her.. i just have to.. you didn't tell her.." sunggyu looked at seungyeol, biting his lip "right?" his voice shivered. seungyeol breathe heavily as he couldn't held down his emotion

"i'm sorry.." he slowly said, the once horror look was now a very sorrowful face. sunggyu shook his head slowly "where is the princess? i need to see her now" sunggyu walked outside the small gang, sungyeol hold him back "you can't..!" he shook his head "why?" sunggyu eyes frozen "because.. she's dead" seungyeol words slowly swollen by sunggyu as a drop of tear fell down from his now wattery eyes. he gave sunggyu a book. it is.. it was her diary.

it has never crossed the tiniest part of his mind. The fact that his lover was dead was nothing but a fiction, a nightmare. she's not dead..

sunggyu tried to smile as if it was the funniest joke he has ever heard "haha.. hahaha!" he laughed as tears kept strolling off the side of his face "sunggyu.." seungyeol slowly opened his mouth, looking at the sunggyu "hahaha.." sunggyu laughed slower as he pulled his face up facing sungyeol who is now trembling "i.. i'm sorry.. she.. suicided" seungyeol voice slowly squeaked as he moves closer to sunggyu "DONT COME HERE!" sunggyu screamed as sungyeol jumped and quickly stopped "she's not dead.. " sunggyu voice trembled

"she's not dead..." sunggyu shook his head as he fell on his knees, crushing into the hard pavement. his tears flows a river. "she's not.." he kept repeating while rocking back and forth, a small smile escaped his face, he was now mentally crushed. "sunggyu.. " seungyeol tried to calm him "SHE'S NOT DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" he grabbed sungyeol by his collar and crashed him to the floor

sunggyu ran for the castle and barged in "let me in!!" he screamed as the guards started to quarell "you can't be kim sunggyu.." a guard said. suddenly sunggyu was thrown by a bucket of salt "get away from here!" a woman screamed, sunggyu tried to clean the salt off his face as he tried to see the person who threw him. it was the queen. she hysterically screamed as the tears fell uncontrollably, stood beside her was myungsoo who was crying and yunho who stayed in silence. "GO AWAY!! YOU MURDERER!!!! GO AWAY!!!!" the queen growled at him. sunggyu felt his heart crushed into pieces.

"YOU DARN BOCLAIN PEOPLE! GET AWAY FROM MY COUNTRY!! GO AWAY!!" the queen lost herself. myungsoo held her back "umma.." he sobbed as he grabbed onto her black dress "get in myungsoo.. get in" a soft voice escaped , trying to not showing a harsh expression for her now only child. myungsoo looked back to sunggyu, gave him a slightly apologetic face then went in along with yunho.

-----------------***---------------

after what happened, Heveridths never laid a hand on Boclain and keep distance. the two countries were then seperated. Heveridths would blame everything not only to Sunggyu, but also to the country, Boclain. But Boclain's queen wasn't that tempered, she cared about her people and that includes sunggyu and so to keep them away from any troubles, the two sign a promise. that a boclain and a heveridths could never see each other, again.

since then sunggyu was banned from getting into heveridth, he was blacklisted. he was even erased, by the people and by his parents, by everyone.. sunggyu has lost everything. he went back to boclain, slightly not believing. she's not dead, sunggyu.. he repeated inside his mind. he walked through the winter snow as he reached boclain. he came back to the hill and sat alone. with a book on his hand he started flipping the pages open.

'entry one..

i made a friend today. my first friend (: his name is sunggyu. i glad i saved him and brought him to the castle
he was sweet and kind.. and he seemed lonely.'

sunggyu skipped the pages and smiled *i remembered that..*

'entry 64..

it's been two years now.. i think.. i fell in love!  why is it so embarassing~? kkk'

he skipped the next few pages *i also felt the same*

'entry 80

sunggyu kissed me!! >///< omo!~ i don't know what gotten into me~ i love him soooooooooo much~ and we're finally official~'

a smile escaped sunggyu's mouth. "i love you too.." he murmured as he skipped the pages and finally got into the last page

'entry 101

sunggyu.. where are you now..? i missed you so much.. seungyeol told me you're dead but i still can't believe it.. you're alive.. right? i can't even eat.. drink and do anything.. where are you..? please come back to me.. i love you.
it's getting hard to breath..
i felt torchered by my own feelings. if you're not here, then i wouldn't want to live anymore.'

silence.. sunggyu keep reading the last entry over and over as his now dried eyes  were out of tears. he wanted to cry so badly but nothing came out ".. if you're not here.. then i wouldn't want to live anymore.. " he murmured "that should be my sentence now" he closed the book as he torned it apart. "SHE'S NOT DEAD! YOU DARN BASTARDS!" sunggyu hollered "she's not dead.." he mumbled slowly almost unheard. it was the worst part in his life. it was painful to lost the love of his parents, quite enough. being left alone by his lover.. was close to death. sunggyu swore to not love anyone, to not believe anyone and to not let his emotion flow once and forever. sunggyu.. has closed himself.

since then, he had kept his secrets alone. until one day he realized that this story only he knows must be told. he told himself that everything will be revealed sooner or later and someone.. must know about this story.. so that it wont be repeated. all over again. and that was what he feared of you and myungsoo.

--------------------------------------***-------------------------------------- -end of flashback-

my pov

without any sign, a drop of tear dropped from my eyes "sunggyu.. i.. i'm sorry" i sobbed. woohyun sat beside me silenced by the story he had just told us "that's why.. i don't want you to get close to myungsoo" sunggyu eyes softened, he was full of pain "but it was too late.. i knew that feeling myself" sunggyu slowly mumbled. his eyes were shifted to the moon "then why do you hate myungsoo..? was it because of her?" i slowly asked. he only shook his head "i didn't hate him. i just can't see him often" his eyes looked back at me and woohyun "why?" i asked "because he have the same smile as his sister.. and it was just too painful for me.." he whispered and smiled

"that yunho guy.. is a jerk" i said to him "i think so too.. but i learned to forgive.. but never forget" his voice trembled i quickly hugged him as sunggyu started to cry "i promised myself not to let this flow.. i pomised myself not to cry.." he sobbed. i shush him as i also cried "gwenchana oppa.. everyone lets everything flow, it's not a sin.. you can cry.." i patted his head as he leaned in and hugged me tighter "you can cry.." i repeated. sunggyu cried louder as woohyun only looked at us. "i promise.. not to let this kind of ending happened between me and myungsoo.. i promise" i hugged him tighter.

that night seemed longer as the ending come to a tragic close. i promised myself to not let that happen again in the future. because what happened in the future, no one really knows.. because it was the story only i didn't know.
~~~~~~~~~~~------------- 

---------------------------------------------------------

PS: SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE~~~~

TERRIBLY MIAN~~

I RAN OUT OF IDEA AND JUST CAME UP WITH THIS EARLIER TODAY..

I HOPE YOU GUYS STILL SUPPORTING..

so.. this is the ending of sunggyu's past

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for my apologies, i'll post some pic spam here!