Haneul’s POV

From: Yiseul

Yah! You have officially been kicked out of the family. Forget about coming home.

I was staring at the message in disbelief.. How could this happen.. The tears were threatening to fall and I tried to hold them back.

‘She’s a huh?’ I heard someone spoke from behind me and I jumped and turned to see a beaming Rikku holding two cups of warm tea while looking down at my phone.

‘A-’ she was about to say something when I burst into tears. Causing her to reach over and place the cup of tea on the coffee table before coming over to comfort me. She held me in her arms and slowly my back to calm me down.

‘Its okay, let it out. It had been hard on you... let it out..’ when she said that I cried even more and held her tighter. I have not cried ever since my mom passed away. I had always put on a strong front and pretend that everything was okay. She my back and allowed me to cry in her arms.

I don’t know how to explain this feeling that I felt. It’s like with Rikku sshi I feel very comfortable and I want to depend on her. I had never felt this way before but I just feel like I can trust her and she would protect me. The moment when she hugged me in the lift protecting me from harm, I knew I could trust her. Just like that I cried in her arms for the whole night till I feel asleep. That night I had the most wonderful dream. I dreamt of my mom calling out to me and playing with me just like the old days. It was the first and only good dream I had so far.

The next morning I woke up to the fresh smell of coffee brewing and something cooking in the kitchen. I slowly blinked and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I got up and saw Rikku sshi in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She looked up and saw me. She beamed at me again.. Why is so gentle? Makes me want to depend on her more and more.

‘Haneul ah~ You’re awake! I prepared a fresh set of clothes and a new tooth brush and fresh towels so please go ahead and wash up~’ she walked out of the kitchen in a panda apron and pushed  me towards the bathroom and shut the door. I looked around the bathroom and my tears fall again.

No one has ever done something like this for me. Like prepare things for me and even have little post it note on where things are so it’s easier for me. I smiled at the post it note with tears in my eyes and I held the clothes in my arms. They smell fresh and lovely. They feel warm too.. Am I finally going to be loved for once..?

When I got out of the shower and I walked out to the dinner area, I had the shock of my life. I saw the rice (BAP) members gathering around the dining table and passing food around the table. Rikku sshi was busy passing out the drinks when she noticed me standing there in shock. She beamed at me before walking over to me and led me to the dining table. She took her seat beside Daehyun who help add sugar to her coffee. I stood there feeling lost and afraid. Can I really sit down and eat together with them..?

‘Haneul ah~ Why are you just standing there?’

‘C-c-can I really sit and eat with you guys…?’ I muttered and looked down at my feet. Feeling afraid. Everyone in the room stopped what they are doing and stared at me. I felt nervous and looked down swallowing my saliva. There was a moment a silence before Rikku sshi spoke. ‘Hell ya~ you can! Whoever has anything against it shall suffer!’

‘But hyung is the leader, he should have a say!’ I looked up at Yongguk assuming he is the leader, blushing madly, I looked anywhere but at him.

‘A-a-a-h y-e-eas- she can!’ he started scratching his neck again. Why is he always doing that? I looked at him and gave him a really shy smile with a 90 degree bow.

‘Come sit down’ I looked to see the doe-like eye guy smiling at me and pulling the chair out for me. The other member except Daehyun and Yongguk started teasing him. I gave him another shy smile and tuck my hair to the back of my ear.

We had breakfast, noisy breakfast as the members were really noisy and excited about everything. I got to know the name of the doe- like eye guy – Himchan, that’s his name. He was the friendly and nicest to me. I mean I don’t know the other members well yet but so fat that’s how things are. Rikku sshi was beaming at Daehyun who helped her cut her sausages into bite size pieces. They sure are a loving couple even though Daehyun does not talk much. I guess its true that ‘actions speaks louder than words’

Yongguk sshi avoided have any eye contact with me. I guess he kinda hates me..? To my omma who is in heaven, are you watching? Your daughter is finally able to fit in and is being loved.. I hope this last, omma please bless my new found friends with happiness. I hope you are smiling in heaven.