Jaejoong’s POV

‘Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? How are you feeling?’ I fire my questions away at the sight of her. All she did was walk towards me and snuggled against my chest. She warm her arms around my waist without a word. I was stunned for a moment as she had never come to me like this before. I wrapped my arms around her waist and gently rest my chin on her head.

‘Thank you.. Jaejoong sshi..’ she murmured into my chest. I gently pulled away but we were still at a close distance. I looked into her eyes and gently caress her face. ‘There’s nothing to thank. From now on, call me oppa.’ She nodded, she was rather obedient today.. Normally she would have protested.. Maybe cause she’s too hurt and she could care less about anything.

‘Shall I make you something to drink? Would a cup of green tea and some Japanese mocha be okay for you?’ she nodded as she slowly sat down on the couch beside my work. Jiji jumped on her lap and nested himself there. He meowed at me reminding me to bring some snacks for him. I take back that he knows how to sense when someone is sad. He just likes woman. I smiled at myself as I prepared the cup of lavender tea. I took out my favourite brand of lavender tea that can only be bought from Japan. Its from Hokkaido and only August of the year then they would have it.

Normally if its just the guys or just friends that came over, I would just make them the instant green tea. I would never offer them my precious lavender tea but for Rikku, I could give her as many cups as she wants. I smiled like a fool as I went into my fridge to grab the box of mocha that I got from a fan and place 2 of them on a plate. I grab a small dessert fork and place them on a tray. I did a final check making sure that everything looks perfect. I grabbed Jiji’s food bowl and tray with my other hand as I walked out into the living room. I placed the tray down the coffee table and Jiji’s on the far end of the couch. I called for Jiji and pointed at his food bowl telling him to eat over there. I swear I saw him glared at me as he jumped off Rikku’s lap and went to have his snack. I smirked and took my seat beside Rikku.

‘I was told that lavender tea helps with calming your nerves.’ She gave me a small smile and took a small sip of her tea. She let out a sigh. I sat her closer and pull her into my arms as I pat her back. she snuggled closer and buried her face in my chest.

‘Jaejoong.. oppa.. why do you like me..?’ I rest my chin on her head.

‘Hmm~ here *I place the headphones over her ears* its not totally finished but this is the part I had recorded when thinking of you. Maybe you would understand better.’ I press the play button on my itouch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w19RLDmxN3o

I leaned back and watch as she listen to my work. I thought that maybe if she listen to my work, she would understand how I felt and why it had to be her and no one else.

Like my tangled up hair, the inside of my heart is becoming a mess

These days, living doesn’t really seem like living

I just miss you

After meeting her that day, I could never forget her. The way she rush towards my car and started taking pictures of it. When she noticed me staring at her, she smile at me sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. I have not met someone so real after so long. I had dated about 4 actresses but all of them turned out to be different from the way I thought they were. They were always asking me to do this or that or buy them this really expensive bag from Prada or something. They would always have lunch or dinner at expensive places. They never took care of me like I wanted them to.

For Rikku, she took care of me not because she was on a date with THE Kim Jaejoong but HAN Jaejoong. Even with the simplest things like ordering me a cup of green tea instead of allowing me to have a beer because I would be driving later. She gave me a scarf that she made for Daehyun. Yes, I saw his name on the inside of the scarf. Even when I knew she had a boyfriend, I still could not stay away from her. I had fell for her because she was gentle towards me. Although, I know she made used of me later on, I could not leave her. My heart was a mess, I did try to go on another blind date but all I see and wanted was her. When she asked to have BAP to be models with us for NII I helped put in a couple of good words for them. I did that for her cause as long as she was happy that’s all that matters. I saw the way she looked at Daehyun and my heart hurt.

I saw how Daehyun would distant himself away from her when they were around the other staffs. At that moment, if I were him, I would never do that. Even if I was a rookie, I would never make my girlfriend feel like she was an embarrassment to me. She would always talk about her boyfriend in front of me, she never told me who but I knew who her boyfriend was. It was really easy to tell who he is. Everything that came out of , were all the good stuffs. Everyday we exchanged texts, she would tell me all the wonderful things he did for her. Those days made me feel like living does not seem like Im living cause I was hurting so much. I could only smile at other people’s happiness but I could never have my own. On days when she would be so busy to reply my texts, I would just stare aimlessly at my phone and check it every 5 seconds hoping to get a text from her. I just missed her..

I don’t know what so great or hard about love and a girl like you

What to do with these sad memories that I keep thinking of or this sleepless night?

The one and only love that I want

And the love that I want to throw away

I just don’t like this love that I cant have but I cant throw away

There were times that I thought whats so great of her that I am always running back to her or waiting for her? There are other girls out there who could be like her, just that maybe I have not met her yet. Why was I going after someone who already has a boyfriend? There was once we were suppose to meet to discuss about the concert outfits but she left me waiting for her about 3 hours. I bet no one would believe that I – Kim Jaejoong would wait for someone for 3 hours right? Well, I did and never questioned why she was late. I knew the reason – Daehyun. But I don’t mind as long as I could get to see her for awhile, it would calm my heart and brightened my day. There were times when filming could be so tough and when I get a simple text ‘hwaiting!’ was enough to brighten my day.

I knew long before that Daehyun was cheating on Rikku but I could not bring myself to tell her the truth. I did a background check and I found out about his little affair. Sometimes, I would catch a glimpse of her disappointed face when he said he could not spend time with her or when he said they have to stop meeting each other so often cause he was afraid that very soon the press would find out about them. Every night, images of her sad expression flash in my mind, I could not sleep and I was guilty. I felt bad for her, I feel like she’s the last person who would ever know that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Rikku is the type of person who trust people easily and always get hurt in the end. I wanted to tell her but.. how could I bring myself to break the news to her..? Would she believe me..? Every night was restless cause I kept thinking of her happiness and I did try to save their relationship. I got my PI to threaten her to leave Daehyun and even gave her a handsome ‘reward’. She took it but she never left his side. When I tried to seduce her, she threw herself at me and I knew what type of person she was. I decided that he can have her while I have Rikku to myself. I know I was selfish but I would rather she get hurt and I would heal her broken heart and love her a billion times more than he did. Only then could she love me wholeheartedly.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard soft snobs, I turned to see Rikku in tears. She turned to look at me with tear filled eyes. ‘Oppa, please love me full heartedly and don’t hurt me.’ she place her hand where my heart was ‘let me be the only one..’ I leaned in closer and cup her head from behind. I gently pressed my lips against hers. I leaned my forehead against hers as I caressed her cheeks with my eyes closed. I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, it would be just a dream.

‘You have already taken over my heart.’ I whispered against her lips and my heart beat like crazy. I could not believe that she would finally accept me. Even if she is accepting my love because she just fell out of love, I don’t mind as long as she is giving me a chance, Im taking it.

Am I going to have my ending…?