Don’t you know me? The reason I’m here is because of you
But my eyes tingle with the cold so I can’t say anything
I just look toward you by myself

I just back from New York for a few days to rest and for yoochun and Junsu to finish up their indiviual's schedules.I know that what happened in New York has been spreading like wildfire.I had to live in fear of Jaejoong's crazy fans and the media.When we got back,he made sure I had someone to send me to a hotel and not my house cause that will be the first place the fans would go hunting for me.He came to look for me at the hotel,to check on me every now and then when he could squeeze in sometime to come visit me.He would always ask me how I was feeling and if I was uncomfortable with anything.I could only contact haneul to ensure I was okay,thank god she did not see the news or else she would be worried sick right now.Slowly,I'm looking at jaejoong at a different light.He did things that a selfish side of me wanted and could never have.He was willing to give up everything he had work hard and fought for.He liked me even when he knew I was using him and that I was seeing someone else.He cared for me even when he knew I could never return his feelings.I am thankful for that and I think I'm starting to become more greedy for his love and affection.I have been looking through the internet and every website about kpop news were filled with my news.Our pictures were everywhere and everyone was dying to hunt me down.Within hours,that news became the hottest topic and twitter trending.Within hours,I had became a public enemy to many of his fans.They had put me on a hit list and I even found out that there was a reward money for the person who could find where I am right now.I knew what was coming,when he did that but never knew things could spread so fast like wildfire.I smiled bitterly as I scrolled down to the comments left behind by his fans.There were many harsh comments such as

"Yah~who is she?she looks so ugly even if the picture was not taken clearly."

"I bet she is just after his money and fame."

"She smells like a .How could oppa be so blind."

"I would kill her in a heart beat.How dare she steal jaejoong oppa from me!"

"I bet she made him do it.Fame ."

Every comment pierced through my heart.I know I can't expect them to accept me that easily,scratch that,I can't expect them to accept everything so easily.This Kim Jaejoong we are talking about.The man who created the hallyu wave and makes everyone inferior of their looks.A man who is wanted by many and has dated pretty actresses is now telling the whole world he is in love with someone who is not in the same industry as him.How could everyone believe and accept it?The fans can't wait to rip my head off while the media is looking for every chance there is to cover this story.sigh,what have I done..?I scrolled down and there were more negative comments and every single comment felt like their filled with hatred so much that it could up all the air I was breathing now.I looked away and was about to shut down when I saw there were 120 new comments.I clicked it and a new set of comments came up.They were made by fans who supported Jaejoong's happiness.I smiled as tears rolled down my cheeks.They were accepting of me and they even gave me a little shout out.I was touched by his fans even though,I don't know them but I felt really touch by the comments.I was about to read more before a beep from my phone caught my attention.My eyes widen when I saw who it's from-daehyun.I guess he watched the news and he wants to talk about us.I felt like this is the right time to talk things out nicely,before we were too heated up too angry at each other.

'Meet me at our usual place.Now,I'm waiting.'

After reading his text,I grabbed my jacket and scarf not forgetting the one I made for him.I was about to leave the room before Jaejoong's hired bodyguards came to stopped me and questioned me.I told them I was going to meet someone but they insisted I stayed in explaining how they have strict orders to watch over me.I know they would be in alot of trouble if Jaejoong found out about this but I really needed to meet Daehyun.I tried to struggle from their grasp but they refuse to let go.I had no choice but to use my judo skills on them.I twisted one of their arm and flip them over shoulder.I punched one guy so hard he teeth fell out.I told the chance to run when I saw them lying on the ground and in pain.

When got there,I saw him sitting by the han river stareing up at the night sky,deep in thoughts.I slowly walked towards him pulling my beanie lower.Even though,he had a black hood up and his favorite baseball cap I gave him on and was sitting back facing me,I could still tell it's him.I just knew it was him,he had this special aura around him.I sat beside him on the bench facing the river.He passed me a cup of warm cappuccino from starbucks I could smell the frangance of the coffee.I took it from him and took a sip.I smiled,he still remembered how I liked it to be.I like it sweet.I took the scarf I made for him and place it round his neck.He did not move and just allowed me to wrapped it around his neck.

"This will be the last time."I froze when he said that.

"This will the last time we will meet.My love for you has stopped even before I know it.I always thought it's expected that we would last till to the end and that we would grow old together.I always thought in this whole world you would understand me the most.I always thought I could never love another and that my feelings for you were strong.But I was wrong.Mianhae..mianhae..I think I have come to love someone else more than you.This will be the last time,I would remember your likes and dislikes.From now on,I'll forget everything about you."he never once looked at me as he spoke words that pierced through my heart.I blinked away the tears that had started falling unknowingly.I reached out and place my hand on his arm.There was so much I wanted to say but my tongue was tied.Could it be the cold or did it really hit me that hard..?

Even if the tip of my heart hurts like this
Even if the tip of my hands tremble like this
I can only think of you

I blinked away the tears and place my trembling hands over his cold ones.I tried searching for any traces of love for me in his eyes but all I saw was emptiness.There was no longer a place for me anymore.Tears flowed down and I could no longer stopped it.I was panting as the cold winter kept hitting me in the face.My heart hurts,my eyes tingle from the cold and I was trembling from the cold.I took my scarf off and wrapped it around his neck.I knew how much his voice meant to him and I wanted to protect it.Even if those words hurt me and killed me.I will not stop thinking and caring for him.I have always been like this that it had became a habit that I can't change and I have to do it.I tried smiling brightly even if my heart hurt cause I know he never liked to see me cry.I was forcing myself to smile and ignoring the pain that was my heart was experiencing.He harshly brushed my hands away.He turned to look me in the eye,he had this look that I have never seen before.It was empty and hollow like there was nothing that was worth his attention.

"Enough.Rikku,let's end this here.I can no longer love you the same way I did before.There is someone else who can love you more and give you what you desire."I held onto his sleeve and I shook my head vigorously.My eyes begging him to not say what I feared to hear the most.He brush my hand away and pushed me away.I felt on my sides,my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach.He never treated this way before.

"Let's break up!I had enough,I have been doing what YOU wanted.I'm sick of it.Take back your stupid symbol of love!"He threw the scarf that I knitted for him and mine at me harshly.I shot up and held onto him.

"Daehyun ah...please..don't do this to me...if you leave me like this..it will be hard on me..."I choked on my tears as I fought against my tears to speak.I held onto him tightly as I buried my face into his back.

"It has always been about you..rikku..I'm sick of it.."I was harshly pushed onto the ground and my hand brushed against the floor.It was bleeding but all I cared about was making daehyun stay.I held onto his sleeve,crying and begging him to stay.But all I got was a harsh shoved to the ground once again.After many tries,I gave up as my heart could no longer take it.He never looked back at me as he walked further and further away from me.I felt like the whole world had fell onto my shoulders and my heart was being squeezed so tightly that I could not breathe properly.

The person I miss like crazy
The words I want to hear from you like crazy
I love you, I love you – where are you?
The person I long for, who is deeply stuck in my heart

I reached out for the couple scarf that I made for us.I held them close to me as the flashback of our time together and the promise we made here.

----------flashback---------------

"daehyun ah~look here!"I pointed to a couple with a couple scarfs walking pass us.

"I wished we had one too..shall I make us one?"I asked happily as he nod.I jumped around and walked in front of him.Pulling him when he was walking slower.

"daehyun ah~this shall be our secret place!After when you debut and you miss me we could secretly meet here~our secret dress code shall be black and you would wear this cap!"I tapped his nose as I place his favorite baseball team's the giants' cap on his head."This way I would know it's you and can give you a back hug.This bench here shall be our witness!"I took out a marker and wrote our names on the middle of the bench where we would sit on.

rikku<3daehyun

"I promise after I debut,I will take care of rikku and I will marry her!Heaven shall be our witness!"he yelled into the opened river.

"I promise to become the best designer and would only design for you!May heaven be our witness!"I too yelled into the opened river.We ignored the stares of the many people around.

"we promise to always love each other.Heaven shall be our witness and our little bench."we both said at the same time as we stared into each other's eyes lovingly.He leaned in and kissed for the first time.

"No matter where you go,I would go after you.You're mine."he whispered against my lips.

----------end of flashback----------

I graze my finger tips gently against our name written on the bench and tears flowed down even more.The wonderful memories we had here and our promise that we could not keep.I place my hand over my heart as I leaned my head against the bench.Why did he had to end things here?A place that we have so much memories in and a place that I will always hate to come from now on.I wished this heart ache would stop now.Why are you blocking away my heart like this?I held the scarfs against me as I leaned my head on the bench.Memories of our times together flashback in my head over and over again.With each flashback,my heart ache.It hurt so much that I don't know if I would be able to live again.In my memories there was only the daehyun that I cherish and loved me.

Where are you,the daehyun who I loved and cherish very much..where did you go..?

I died again when I read the chapter just now. Haiz, he shouldnt have promise her in the first place. He gives her hope in the end he like that...